Chapter The Two of Us
The ride back to the Elwood Pack was quiet and long, but at least the scenery proved to be beautiful. We had managed to keep a good pace throughout our day, only stopping for water and the occasional bathroom break. Despite keeping to our strict schedule, the sun had set, and we still had a few hours of travel ahead of us. On top of this, we had both grown hungry as we had not eaten since the morning. I was not certain about Farris, but I knew that I was eager to stop and get some food in my stomach.
I tapped his side several times, as we had agreed this would be a signal to let him know that I wished to stop. He slowed his run and finally came to a halt in the middle of a small clearing. I climbed off his back and looked towards the moon, noting how it was very obviously beginning to darken now. I sighed, keeping my gaze trained on the sky as I waited for Farris to complete his shift.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Farris remarked as he walked up beside me, fully changed to his human form.
“Yeah.” I breathed, a hint of sorrow in my voice.
The moon was indeed beautiful, and I revered the Moon Goddess, as I should. She had never smiled on me with favor, until recently. But neither had She abandoned me completely. Yet, the strange control that the moon had placed over my body since I had been forced from the Elwood Pack had been difficult for me. It was not easy being stuck in one form or another without the option to change between them as a normal wolf would.
“Are you alright?” Farris questioned, sensing the dip in my mood.
“Yeah. I’m fine. Just a lot on my mind.” I admitted, trying to brush off the topic.
I knew that I needed to discuss the situation with him. It was going to greatly affect the status of our relationship as I spent the next month unable to communicate with him. But I was not ready to speak about that just yet. I would talk to him about it tonight, but there were other matters that we needed to tend to first.
“How about you go catch us some dinner and I will build a fire.” I suggested, changing the subject completely.
“Not a problem. You can count on me.” He assured with a nod of his head.
Then he headed for the trees, stripping off his clothes, shamelessly, before shifting into his wolf. I could feel the blush burning my cheeks at the sight of his naked backside. But I had to pull myself together in order to find some dry firewood to start building my fire with. So, I cleared my throat and focused on my task.
Luckily for us, it had not rained in several days, so there was a plethora of sticks of different sizes to build our campfire with. After gathering several armfuls and carrying them back to the center of clearing, I got to work stacking the wood into a teepee shape to get a good start to the fire. Using some dry moss and a pointed stick onto a fallen piece of bark, I was able to get a fire going with ease. Just one of the many useful skills that I learned living in the wild.
A few minutes later, Farris returned carrying a couple of rabbits. We immediately went about getting them prepped and cooked, eager to have a good meal. After eating, we sat in silence watching the fire, the flames dancing before us. I had been trying to come up with the best way to approach the subject of my shifting. After several minutes of nervous silence as I tested different thoughts out in my brain, I finally decided that it was best to just get straight to it. I needed to explain this to him while I still had the chance.
“So…about my shifting…” I began with a deep sigh. “No doubt you have noticed that it is not normal.”
“I noticed that you haven’t shifted this whole week. But you had shifted when you first arrived back on my pack lands. You used to be able to shift as long as the moon was up, is that still the case?”
“I’m afraid that it is more complex than that now.”
“How so? What changed?”
“Well, as far as what changed, I am not completely sure. The night that I was forced from the pack, something changed in me. It was beneficial while I was on my own, but it’s become a problem...more recently.” I explained. “As for how it changed…that is where it gets complicated.”
I paused for a moment, preparing myself for his possible reactions. He could be upset, or he could be angry. He may not mind at all. I just had no way to determine how he was going to feel about this predicament. This would be something that he would have to put up with for the rest of his life if we decided to complete the mating.
“You see…I can only take human form during the week of the full moon and at that time, I cannot take my wolf form at all.”
“But…what about when it isn’t the full moon?” He pressed, the wheels turning in his head.
“Well…the rest of the month, I am in my wolf form, and I cannot take human form.” I admitted.
“At all?” The concern in his voice becoming more evident.
“No. Not at all.” I shook my head, dejected.
“But…” He paused, clearly trying to wrap his head around this idea. “But what does that mean for…for us?”
“I’m not sure.” I shrugged. “We won’t be able to talk at all. Unless one of my pack members translates for me through mindlink.”
“That will make dates kind of awkward.” He joked.
I chuckled at his attempt to lighten the conversation.
“Yeah…dates and everything else.” I admitted with a sigh.
As much as I wanted to indulge in the joking that he was trying initiate, I had to keep things on track. This was a serious conversation. I appreciated that he did not want to make me feel any tenser than I already did. But I needed him to understand our situation before morning. When we woke, I would be a wolf again, and communication would become much more difficult. I dropped my gaze to the floor and lowered my head in disappointment. How could I really expect him to put up with any of this? It was a lot to ask of anyone.
I was a rough tempered female Alpha to a pack made of rogues that prefers to live wild than in the luxury of a pack house. Add to that, the fact that I was a mutt. He would have to accept that his pups would be a quarter human. As much as he had changed, could he really get past this fact? Then on top of everything else, we had to contend with the fact that I was stuck in wolf form for much of the time.
I could not blame him if this added up to be too much and he wanted to call all of this off. I knew that he had spent the last two years hoping to get me back, but the increasing difficulty of our relationship could easily change his mind. I would not hold it against him if he threw up his hands and walked away.
Suddenly, I felt the rough skin of his hand placing itself underneath my chin, gently lifting my head. I drew up my eyes and locked them on his, feeling myself being pulled into his soft gaze. Unexpressed emotions swirled in his intense stare as I gulped down the nerves that built in my throat.
“We will figure it out. We can make this work.” His voice filled with promises.
“How?” I gasped, surprised by his response.
“We just will. You are my mate. The other half of my soul. We are fated to be together. I’m not going to give up on you so easily.”
“Even if it means having to deal with the fact that I am wolf more often than not?” I pressed. “For the rest of your life?”
I wanted him to understand what he was committing himself to. Give him a chance to think it over before making a decision that he may come to regret with time.
“That is a minor inconvenience for the chance to be mated with the most amazing and beautiful she-wolf that I have ever laid eyes on. I do not care what it takes or what obstacles that we have to overcome, I am not letting you go again. As long as you will have me, I am yours.” Farris confessed.
I could not stop the blush that spread across my cheeks at his admission. I wanted to turn my head away, but our gazes were still locked, and his hand still held my chin in place. I could feel my blood rushing in my veins, as the now familiar flutter sprang to life in my stomach. I had the sudden urge to express my appreciation and desire for him. I dragged my tongue across my own lips, moistening them slightly, before dropping my eyes to his mouth.
I could not stop myself. The desire to feel him against me becoming too strong. I knew that we still had a lot to work out between us, but a small expression of what was already building would not set us back any. If anything, it could only help to move us forward. So, without questioning myself further, I did the only thing that my body craved in this moment.
I leaned forward and connected my lips with his. He seemed hesitant at first, surprised by my sudden act. But after his momentary shock abated, one of his arms snaked around my waist while the other found its way into my hair, pulling me closer. In return, I flung my arms around his neck and matched his fervor as our lips moved against each other in sync.
His tongue pushed against my lips, begging for access. So, I parted my mouth and granted his wish. Our tongues beginning to dance with each other in sweet ecstasy. I had never been kissed like this before and a heat began to rise within my core. The electricity from our touch making its way with lightning speed straight to my most intimate parts.
When we finally came up for air, my body cried out in disappointment at our parting lips. But I knew that was enough for tonight, despite the nagging in my heart for us to continue, my mind reminded me to take things slowly. I did not wish for either of us to have regrets in the future. He was saying all the right things now, but we would see how he felt in a month after dealing with my inability to shift.
“That was…wow…” He panted.
“I know…” I breathed, trying to calm my racing heartbeat.
We stared at each other in silence as we both struggled to calm our bodies. As I noticed the fire beginning to dwindle and the hour growing late, I looked away and cleared my throat, breaking the trance that we seemed to have been under.
“Umm…well…perhaps we should camp here tonight.” I suggested, stammering a little as I spoke.
I did not know why the suggestion made me so nervous. After all, I was the one who was making it. But I was so flustered after our kiss, and I was struggling to come back down. I needed to get ahold of myself.
“We could do that.” He nodded, seeming a little hesitant. “I have been running all day and I will admit that I’m exhausted. But…” He sighed. “We don’t have anything with us to build a tent.”
“That’s alright. We can sleep under the stars.”
“Aren’t you worried that you would get cold?” He questioned. “I don’t want you to get sick.”
I had not really thought about that. Without a tent to block the wind I would be exposed to the elements. We did not have any sleeping bags with us, and I had not seen a reason to bring any of the blankets that we had at the Bristlecone Pack. Because I could not shift into my wolf until the morning, I would be left with what I had available to me, a long sleeve shirt and a pair of pants. I could make it work but it was going to be a rough night. Considering that I would be a wolf once the sun rose, I knew that I would have make the journey back to Elwood Pack on my own. Better sleep would definitely have been ideal.
I knew that if I asked, Farris would have continued our journey tonight, so that I did not have to worry about where to sleep. But I was not eager to wear him out by pushing him too far. I could handle a tough night and a bit of exhaustion tomorrow if it meant that he got the rest that he needed.
And if I was being honest with myself. I was enjoying these last few hours in my human form with Farris. It was kind of nice being alone with him for a little while. Here, in this little clearing in the woods, it was just the two of us. We could hide away, for just a little while, from all of the troubles in the world that had surrounded us and our mating thus far. I was not eager for this to end, just yet.
“Well…how about this…” He paused, rubbing the back of his neck, sheepishly. “I could sleep in my wolf form and, if I…if you…if…” He cleared his throat, unsure of how to word this, so that it came out right. “Then you could use me to keep you warm.” His eyes dropping to the ground as I noticed an embarrassed blush on his cheeks in the firelight.
I thought about his suggestion and knew that it was not a bad one. He was large, soft, and warm in his wolf form. I could cuddle up against him and I would not just be protected from the cold, but I would be quite comfortable. I had not admitted it to him this morning, but last night had been one of the most peaceful sleeps of my life.
“I’m not recommending this to try and push you.” Farris announced, suddenly, bothered by my silence on the matter. “You want to go slow and I’m more than happy to oblige.” He insisted. “It was just the only option that I could think of which didn’t require us to just continue traveling through the rest of the night.”
“It’s a good idea.” I admitted, putting his mind at ease. “We’ll both sleep better that way.”
I could see the tension in his body immediately release and his muscles relaxed.
“We already cuddled last night. I guess there’s no harm in doing it again.” I joked with a shrug.
He chuckled and offered me a warm smile.
“I certainly have never slept better.” He offered with a wink.
I thought about telling him that I felt the same. That despite being on the hard ground, I had never slept more comfortably. But I was too shy to say it. Too timid to admit that his arms around me had offered a sense of safety and security that I had never known before. I may have grown more confident in many ways during the past two years that I was away. However, the romance department was not one of them. As a matter of fact, I had avoided romance at all costs.
So instead of responding, I kept my thoughts to myself. Turning my head away, so that I was not facing him directly and biting my lip as I stared into the fire. I could feel the blush creeping across my cheeks as I thought about last night and how it felt to be held by him.
We stayed in silence for a few moments. I was staring at the fire, and he was staring at me. I could feel that we both wanted to say more, but neither of us dared to. He finally broke his gaze on my face when he rose from his seat and put some distance between us. Shortly after he stood tall and proud in his beautiful black wolf.
He curled himself into a U-shape and I took that as my cue to cuddle in. I walked over to him and lowered myself onto his body. Using his chest as a large, fluffy pillow. Once I was settled into him, he curled himself as close as he could, so that his form had me almost completely surrounded.
I was not sure how easily I was going to be able to fall asleep. When I had first laid down, I thought that the electricity that coursed through me at his touch, along with his overwhelming scent, would have kept me awake, feeling nervous with our proximity. Though I found the reaction to have the completely opposite effect. The tingling sensation lulled me to sleep like a light massage all over my body. His scent was like a comforting blanket of safety. I knew that in that moment, nothing could harm me because Farris would never let it. And this knowledge, had me drifting off to sleep almost as soon as my eyes were closed.
Early the next morning, I awoke finding that my limbs were tangled up with Farris’s. Except now there was one major difference…I was a wolf. I sighed as I forced myself up and stretched my limbs, shaking out my silver-gray fur. I enjoyed being in my wolf form, I always had, but I could not help but feel a little disappointed to find myself this way again.
“I guess the rest of the way we will be traveling in silence.” I sighed to myself.
Farris awoke moments later, he yawned, his gaping maw displaying his sharp canines. He stretched out his limbs and then looked over at me. He cocked his head to the side, checking me over. He came over to me, sniffing, and then began rubbing himself against me. I knew what this was, I had seen other males do this to their unmarked females, he was rubbing his scent on me.
It was an instinctual thing that males would do to make certain that others knew who the female belonged to. It was a way to say that I was taken in case we came upon wolves that we did not know. The Alpha part of me, did not much care for being claimed as though I were a piece of property. However, a much deeper section of my being, the part that had been denied her mate for so long, reveled in the fact that he wanted others to know that we were, sort of, together. It was a reminder that he was not ashamed of me. He wanted everyone to know that we were mates.
After he was satisfied with his scent on my form, we each scooped up our bag into our mouths, and took off running. We ran side by side, quietly enjoying each other’s company as we traveled. Our journey took a few hours, but finally we had made it back to the Elwood Pack territory.
Once we were near the pack house, Farris shifted back to his human form. He fished some clothes out of his bag and dressed himself so that he was presentable. I had turned away from him as he changed, not wanting to gawk at him while he was naked. He came up behind me and began to run his hands through my fur, reveling in the softness. I turned to face him, and he offered me a bright smile.
“It is hard to decide if you are more beautiful as a wolf or a human. Either way, you are breathtaking.” He breathed.
If I had been in human form, my face would have been burning brightly with blush. I did my best to offer him a wolfish grin in return, trying my hardest to let him know that I appreciated his words. He patted my head a few more times, before pulling back his hand with a sigh.
“Well, I know that I need to check in with my pack and I’m sure that you want to check in with yours as well.”
I nodded my headed in agreement. Now that we were back, I needed to meet Jamari and see how everything had been going while I was away.
“I guess we will meet back up again later?” He asked, his eyes full of hope.
I nodded my head again. I wanted to see each other soon as possible as well. Now that the bond between was beginning to grow again, it was going to be more difficult for us to be apart. Even with the communication barrier. Most new mates hardly spend even a moment apart during the first few weeks, at least.
With that silent promise between us, we parted ways. Farris heading towards the pack house. While I went to the clearing where my pack had set up camp.