The Alpha's Daydream

Malachi couldn’t bear to see Ariella in so much pain. It went against every instinct within him, to see his mate going through this.

But what could he do? The pain was all because of him. All he’d ever wanted was to treat his mate right and be everything she needed, but right away he’d messed up and caused her to be in this pain, this heat that ravaged her body with desire and torture. He’d barely known her for long, and already he’d failed her.

As soon as he met her, he found himself fighting two halves of himself. One was the dominant Alpha, wanting to mark and claim Ariella as his for all the wolves to see. The other was more tender, careful. Hesitant to touch such delicate beauty until she was ready. She was so young, and he was so dark. He didn’t want to mar her purity in a way that would ruin her.

That’s why he’d kept his distance when they’d first sensed each other across the borders of their territories. Malachi didn’t want to force her into leaving her pack and family just for him. He wanted her, but not because he had a right to her. Ariella was his mate, his other half, but what would it take for her to understand his half and become okay with that? There was so much to him that he wanted to keep hidden, keep locked away from her goodness and light.

When he pulled her into his arms, feeling her hot skin trembling with each quiet sob, he couldn’t help his heart syncing to her misery. She’d accused him of not caring, but she couldn’t have been more wrong. She’d wondered if he didn’t want her anymore, but nothing was further from the truth.

He did want her, but not now and not like this when the effect of the full moon was messing with the both of them.

“Malachi, what are you doing?” she turned in his arms, her caramel brown eyes peering up at him, wide open and confusion creasing her brows. He could stare all night into those eyes and still remain lost in the living canvas of beauty. Even with tears glistening across them, her irises sparkled with mystery and intricacy.

“I’m not going to let you deal with this alone,” his voice nearly cracked, but he buried his face in her hair and hoped she hadn’t heard his vulnerability. His heart ached at seeing her like this.

“But you said—”

He ended her words with a gasp when he picked her up and wrapped his arms tightly around her. He knew of no proper cure besides mating to alleviate the effects of heat, but a simple remedy might help a bit. Carrying her toward his bathroom, Malachi ignored her protests of confusion. Like he wasn’t confused enough himself to be able to explain anything to her. The warm body he carried in his arms thrummed against his chest, calling to him, whispering of delights and passions he’d never tasted. She was all his, and he was the one denying them both.

For her sake…

The young Alpha reminded himself even as she leaned back in his arms and studied his face with curiosity. Her eyes were narrowed, her brows scrunched in thought as her pretty peach-coloured lips were partly opened. Her warm breath trailed across his neck, teasing him of all that could be.

But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t do to her what he knew they’d both regret on the morrow.

So with no amount of ceremony, Malachi placed her in the bathtub and turned on the cold tap.

“What on earth?” She exclaimed and clawed for his arms, trying to jump out of the cold spray of the water.

“It will help the heat,” he spoke in a rush, trying to ease her back down yet feeling awful about himself. Couldn’t he do anything right?

When Ariella finally stopped trying to flee like a cat thrown into a pool, he turned and rummaged through the cabinet for a spare towel. When a piece of material hit his back and slipped to the floor, he spun and gasped at the sight of Ariella’s bare legs. Such smooth skin, the curves of her thighs to her hips…

Averting his eyes, he breathed in sharply. Muttering a curse, Malachi tried getting a hold of himself. The fire in his veins would only burn stronger if he didn’t put a leash on his thoughts. “What are you doing? Don’t take off anything more—“

“I don’t intend to,” she snapped back. “I just didn’t want my shorts getting soaked.”

Good point, he had to agree, but it was getting all the more difficult looking anywhere but her beautifully toned body.

Once he’d placed the towel within reach of her and was satisfied that she’d be okay in the cold bath, he turned to leave.

And was instantly arrested by the sweet voice that had haunted his dreams for weeks.

“Wait. Please stay with me.”

“But, Ari…” he turned when her hand brushed his bare back, causing sparks to tingle all over. He both loved and despised the feelings she incited in him. Noting her fallen face, the frown between her eyes and the uneven shudder of her chest as she took in a shaky breath, he hesitated and fought again in his mind.

“You said you wouldn’t leave me alone.”

Another heave of her chest, and he heard the whimper in her voice. There was nothing coy or suggestive in the way she spoke, just a plaintive request that dug into his heart like a silver scalpel. Her wide doe eyes were staring him down relentlessly. Seeing the torture in them was pure agony for the young Alpha.

The cold sides of the large tub engulfed his little mate, her fingers wrapped around the edge with white knuckles. Though usually bronzed by the sun, her pale skin was now not far off the hue of porcelain.

He couldn’t say no. He couldn’t go back on his word.

With shaky fingers, Malachi removed his trousers and climbed in behind her, relishing the feel of the cool water as it swashed up his legs and boxers, cooling the fire within. Ariella scooted forward to make room for him, then crawled back to lean against him, her back flush with his chest. His entire body tensed when she snuggled closer, her body fitting perfectly against his. He didn’t want this.

To rephrase that, he did want this, he just wasn’t sure he’d be able to control himself much more, especially with his perfect mate this close in his arms.

Her scent of lavender blossoms filled his nose as he leaned down and rested his forehead on her hair, the braids that ran down her back, tickling his stomach. His hands wrapped perfectly around her waist, the pads of his fingers drawing dangerous circles on the smooth skin of her stomach and hips. Her light breaths, which had calmed considerably as she rested against him, brushed like a feather across his arms, prickling the hair with a constant reminder of her proximity.

Closing his eyes, Malachi became lost in her presence, in this feeling of complete belonging and security. She was here, safe, leaning into him with complete trust. This quiet company was everything he’d dreamed of the last few weeks since having met her. He’d always wondered what it would be like to have his mate in his arms, and now he finally knew. Without conscious thought, he pressed his lips into her neck, caressing the mark he’d placed with gentle kisses and licks.

He felt her tense but didn’t stop, only held her tighter to him. But when Ariella pulled away and looked at him with a glare, he snapped back to reality.

“Stop doing that!” her soft voice raised in pitch, fire crackling the edges.

“Stop what?” he frowned back.

“Stop kissing me like that. You said you didn’t want to do anything intimate, yet you keep kissing me, making it all the more hard. Why are you teasing me?” she lifted a hand in question, cool droplets flinging toward him from her delicate fingers. Paradoxically, each one scalded his skin where they landed, so aware was he of her every move and ensuing reaction.

The hurt in her eyes was still unmistakable, especially when she pressed a hand to her abdomen. He knew that was the main source of her pain. After staring at the bare flesh of her slim waist, he trailed his eyes slowly up her chest, across her slender shoulders and neck, before meeting her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Ariella, truly I am. But I don’t think I’m the only one who’s teasing. You should look at yourself.”

With his gesture, she looked down over her body and cringed at the state of her bareness. A soft flush filled her cheeks, and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly, rubbing her forehead and temples with all fingers at once. Then she looked at him with narrowed eyes, revealing a determination and strength that hadn’t been there before. The intensity of the brown hues surprised him.

“You’re right. This isn’t working.” She stopped and swallowed hastily, perhaps biting back a small cry. “You should probably go. I can put up with the pain myself.” Her fists bunched beneath the water, her legs crossed.

It took all that was in the young Alpha to not scoop her up in his arms and kiss everything better, give them both what their bodies were demanding.

For her sake… he repeated the mantra.

“I have another idea.” Reaching out, he snatched up a shirt of his from the bench and handed it to her. “Put this on.”

She took it warily, studying the material like it was a foreign entity. But finally, she slipped it over her head and tugged it down her body. His grey shirt hung like a shapeless sack over her slim frame, swallowing her curves and enticing figure.

When she was done, he pulled her back into his arms and held her close.

“I won’t let you go, Ari. I’ll hold you until this is over.”

She whispered a thank you, her breath no more than a quiet sigh, and he felt her relax once more, her body sagging against his, her head leaning back onto his shoulder. Pressing his cheek to hers, he closed his eyes and focused on the gentle thrum of her heart, the steady beat that calmed his tightly wound nerves and thudding pulse. Despite the many thoughts running riot in his head, he noticed when Ariella drifted off to sleep, her chest rising and falling in a metronome of rhythm. The light of the full moon cast its silver glow through the window, gracing Ariella with an ethereal appearance. If Malachi tilted his head just so, he could see her as an angel, resting peacefully in the arms of someone so opposite, yet she was oblivious.

With a muffled expelling of breath, he leaned his own head against the wall behind him and willed his body to ignore the hard tub and icy water beneath him, pressing against his hips and making his muscles numb. But with Ariella comfortable against his chest, he couldn’t complain. He’d sleep on fire if it kept his mate safe, prevent the burn of her soft skin. He’d walk on broken glass to protect her innocent feet.

He’d kiss the gates of Hell if it meant she would be embraced by the arms of Heaven.

A subtle movement snagged her attention, dragging Ariella from the comfortable depths of her subconscious. She fought it, wanting to remain in the silent calm that always entranced her before waking in the morning. Her bed was so comfortable, her body so warm, and she could feel that she needed the sleep. So she resisted, keeping her eyes closed and her mind dreaming.

But there it was again. The hard pillow beneath her head moved, making an odd contradiction in her otherwise still world.

Then a new awareness sunk in, her sense of hearing picking up a steady thrum. A syncopated rhythm that filled her ears like a calming melody. It wasn’t the usual twittering of birds that greeted her in the morning, but a low rumble that prodded her to wakefulness, curiosity nudging her to take notice.

But she didn’t want to wake up, not just yet.

She felt so weary, exhausted, like she always felt after a hard training session with her father. A brisk ten mile run along the forested trails; sparring together in their front yard with Lexi giving pointers; discipline routines meant to train the mind and strengthen the body. It always left her drained. Yet she couldn’t remember doing that recently, besides her usual shorter exercise sessions. So why was she feeling like this? What had she done yesterday that left her so tired—

Ariella snapped open her eyes and flew forward, water sloshing away from her legs only to rebound off the far side of the tub and splash her in the face. It soaked through the grey shirt she wore, prickling the skin of her chest with goosebumps. Amidst the cold droplets, she stared at her wrinkled feet and two other legs that stretched out on either side. Two very masculine legs with dark hair and thick calf muscles.

Her heart suddenly picked up, making her mouth go dry and her body hesitant to turn around. Something on her stomach moved, and she looked down to see a hand curl around and tug her back.

And with that she turned, her gaze colliding with crystal blue pools of colour, a small amount of mischief creasing the corners of long black lashes. His lips even curled up in a smirk.

“So, you’re finally awake.”

And it all came flooding back, the events of last night. The fury of heat and the accompanying pain. The agitation, the confusion. The torture of waiting for her mate. Then he came, and took her away. His kisses, his hot skin against her own. The electricity that sparked between them. The denial, the pain of rejection. The gentle embraces, the soft brush of his hair against her cheek as he whispered her name.

“Malachi…” She could only stare at him. At the sunlight that shone in and contrasted his black hair against bright eyes, at the soft looking lips that pressed together in concentration, at his shadowed jaw that was so strong and determined. Her eyes traveled down his neck to the bare chest that rose and fell with each gentle breath, to the swirls of ink that wrapped around his left ribs and crawled down his waist. A hot flush rose to her cheeks and she quickly forced her eyes away, just realising that he was watching her too. Watching her openly admire him.

So it wasn’t just the full moon that made her feel attracted to him. It was her own sensibilities that recognised the beautiful perfection of her mate.

“Are you done staring now? Because this water is awfully cold, you know.”

His deep voice sent even more goosebumps across her skin. She could hear the playfulness of his tone, but also the seriousness. His upper body tensed as if fighting back a shiver.

Feeling dreadful for being the cause of his discomfort, Ariella dropped her eyes and bowed her head to the Alpha, wishing she could crawl in a hole and hide her shame. Instead, she was in a cold bath tub with him, her bare legs tucked up, trying to shrink and hide from his piercing gaze.

“I’m sorry,” was all she could mutter past the fist in her throat. The water swirled around her again as her mate rose and stepped out, wrapping a towel quickly around his waist. Glancing up, Ariella caught the rippling muscles on his back, curving down his spine and disappearing beneath the thick black material. His tall and muscular frame as it towered over her made her breath catch in her throat.

But what really made her heart stutter were the red marks that graced his skin near his neck and on his waist. When he turned around, the light of the rising sun that peeked in through the large window above the bench highlighted more faded lines near his collar bones.

Had… had she caused them? Scratched him in the blind lust she’d felt for him? Had the full moon really affected her so much?

They’d be gone soon, she knew. Healed and faded before the sun even fully rose. But still, she felt awful about it.

“Don’t be,” Malachi’s reply startled her, making her scramble to remember what she’d said. “I am your mate after all. And it would only be fair.” When he gave a half smile and winked, Ariella was left grasping for his meaning. Only after he’d left the bathroom with an enigmatic expression once more in this icy blue eyes did she realise his point.

Just how much of her body had she’d flaunted last night?

Most everything she could remember, but a few parts were hazy.

Struggling to her feet, she hastily wrapped the other towel around herself and followed him back into the bedroom. Malachi was picking something up from the floor and placed it on the bed. When he waved a hand towards it, she realised it was her pyjamas, the ones she’d unceremoniously torn off in a frenzy.

Heat once more rushed to her face, and she felt the tips of her ears burning with embarrassment.

“You know, you surprised me last night. From what little I know of you, I wouldn’t have thought you’d be so confident and bold,” Malachi said casually while rifling through a set of drawers, pulling out clothes for himself.

“I’m not… I’m not normally like that..”. Ariella cringed at her raspy voice and raked a hand over her messy braids. “Again, I’m sorry…”

Malachi gave her another strange smile, his white teeth barely showing beneath his lips as they tugged upward. “I’m not saying I didn’t like it.”

Ariella swallowed nervously and turned to stare out the window. Seeing the green hues of pines and conifers gave her a sense of calm, the sight of trees and nature comforting her like it always did, stilling her pounding heart.

“Under better circumstances, I would have quite enjoyed—“

“I don’t want to talk about last night,” she spun and faced him again, crossing her arms over her chest to make herself appear more serious. She couldn’t help feeling stupid in his wet oversized shirt and towel hanging from her waist. “Except to ask one question.”

Malachi paused in motion, his eyes widening, dark brows disappearing under his fringe. He regarded her thoughtfully before giving a slight nod to continue, his body language showing she had his full attention.

Running her tongue over her bottom lip, Ariella swallowed to wet her dry throat. “Why didn’t you want me to mark you?”

Malachi took a deep breath and slowly let it out before tugging a shirt over his head. His biceps flexed as he pulled the shirt down, causing the inky patterns to disappear from view. His simple actions distracted Ariella for a moment.

“Marking is a very significant step to make. I didn’t want you to rush into it.”

“Says you,” Ariella let the words slip before she realised the disrespect they might be taken as. His mark on her own neck tingled from their close proximity, reminding her of what he’d done and that she now belonged to him.

A pained look crossed his features before quickly being replaced with a light summer’s storm, the dark shadows dancing in his eyes as they flicked from her neck back up to her gaze. “I know it might not have been the right time, but I don’t regret marking you. As Alpha, I needed to stake my claim, to make you mine—“

“And I can’t do the same? You won’t let me claim you?”

“It’s different, Ari,” Malachi sighed and raked a hand through his hair, impatience rolling off him and hanging awkwardly in the air.

“Please do explain,” Ariella kept her arms crossed, willing herself to push him for answers. A lingering confidence hung about her, and she wasn’t about to let Malachi get off without giving her an explanation.

His eyes met hers, darkened and full of warning. “Your mark on me would tie me to you, and I want you to be sure of what it is you are claiming as your own. You don’t know me. You don’t really know anything about me, so to mark me would be a foolish action.”

“That didn’t stop you marking me. You barely know me either,” she pointed out with a bite in her tone.

“How could I go wrong claiming such a sweet and innocent creature as yourself?” his face crinkled in a smile that was meant to allay her fears, but it only made the hairs rise on the back of her neck.

“You think I’m innocent,” she tried to give a sarcastic laugh, tried to portray she was more than just a young and naive shewolf. But if she couldn’t fool herself, she had no hope of fooling him.

“I can sense it, Ariella. Your beautiful, wide-open eyes don’t hide dark secrets. Your delicate hands don’t carry the scars of sins.” Your shoulders don’t carry the weight of guilt.

“So, perhaps yours do. And you’ve marked me,” Ariella’s heart thudded at this conclusion. “I’m bound to you.”

“That…” Malachi turned his body sideways and raked a hand through his black hair, displacing the silky stands. He gave a casual shake of his head, but the hesitation in his voice only served to make her more wary of what he’d say next. “That can be undone if you so choose. But once you mark me, it would seal the bond forever.”

Oh.

So that’s what it was about. Somehow, her mark was more binding. It was more significant for her to mark a male wolf, than for him to mark her.

He somehow knew of a way to remove his mark if she wanted, but once she completed the marking, their bond would be irreversible.

The natural conclusion slammed into her with a shocking force, carving at a piece of her heart. “So… you don’t really want me as your mate? You’re letting me choose, hoping that I’ll walk away?”

“No.” His sudden intake of breath and sharp answer startled her. He crossed the room with large strides and gently took her hands in his. The contact sent sparks scampering up her arms and across her chest, making it harder to think. Staring up at his face, at the beautiful blue eyes that were framed by such dark strands, had her breath catching in her throat.

“No, Ariella. I don’t want you to leave. But I also don’t want you to feel forced to be with me. Being the Alpha couple won’t be easy. That’s why I want you to make the decision in your own time. I want you to choose me, as your mate and lover.”

A shiver ran down her spine. His words, deep with meaning and longing, slid over her and sank to her heart. She could hear his heartbeat, feel his breath as it caressed her face. He’d stepped closer, eliminating the space between them while speaking, and now she could see individual freckles that lightly dusted his skin, see the flecks of silver that studded his glacial irises.

She could see the unspoken yearning in his stoic expression. This young Alpha might hold himself with security and independence, showing the world that he was capable to lead, but there was something fragile behind the dark mask he wore. Something she wanted to reach out and comfort.

With a nod, she tugged her hands from his, then slid them around his waist. Burying her face against his chest as she enveloped him in a tight hug, drawing his body to hers, she didn’t see the startled surprise on his face.

But she felt it. His body grew rigid, unsure of what to do. Then he responded, slowly wrapping his arms around her and rubbing her back.

Then he stepped back, squeezing her shoulders and giving her a small smile before turning.

She’d seen the mask of indifference firmly put back in place.

“Just take your time okay? No need to rush,” he spoke over his shoulder while pulling on socks and boots. “You can have a shower, get warm. I’ll have someone bring you some clothes. When you’re ready, just come down for breakfast. I’ll be at my office most of today but I’ll see you later.”

His voice was clipped. No longer warm or mischievous, hesitant or personal. He was an Alpha, one with secrets and a thousand important things on his mind. Things that begged his attention more than his mate.

He left the room, closing the door softly without even a look back. Shadows chased away by the sunshine filling the room scampered out after Malachi, clinging to him like lost lovers.

Ariella felt the distinct impression that he didn’t want to stay with her a moment longer than needed.

And it stung.

The sudden silence in the room, after being surrounded by the whispers of his breaths and heartbeats all night, was deafening.

He had made it clear he didn’t want her to mark him; and even though he said it was for her sake, so she could decide who she wanted to be with, that wasn’t quite what his eyes spoke. They had still held that icy distance that kept her at arm’s length, that warned her to stay away from whatever darkness and danger lurked in their depths.

But wasn’t it he who had claimed her, marking her so forcefully? Was he now regretting it?

Willing back tears from falling, Ariella straightened her shoulders and stepped into the bathroom, determined to feel better after a hot shower.

She’d been foolish to think there would be something instant between her and her mate. Only time could build a firm relationship. He might be aversive to having a mate by his side, leaning upon him and learning his secrets. But Ariella would persist. She’d seen the sliver of light in him, even though he tried to bury it out of her reach.

She’d find that spark, that single star in his vast expanse of blackness, and breath on it. She’d fan it to life until he shone like a million luminous angels. Like the Alpha she knew he could be.

The scalding water running over her skin in fast streams was a very different kind of heat to what she had experienced last night, one that she welcomed with a lifted face and smile on her lips.