: Chapter 85
Having reached a truce over the weekend, Alexander and I settled back into our old routine for the week. It was, of course, not quite the same as before, but we were able to function as a couple again, sharing our life and spending our nights together peaceably.
He followed through with his pledge to give me his time and attention whenever I was available. I went into the office early in the mornings in order to hold up my own end of the bargain, which was returning from work at a reasonable hour each evening for our dinner dates.
Despite my lingering reservations about Alexander, I couldn’t deny that he was working hard to prove himself.
Each day’s mail delivery at the office started arriving with a single white rose and a hand-written note. I enjoyed the flowers and often found myself
absentmindedly sniffing their sweet scent and twirling the de-thorned stems between my fingers while I was reading reports and email. The cards were the more important part, though.
Alexander’s delicate, perfect cursive was so surprisingly lovely. The first time I’d seen it, on the card that came with the red roses, I’d assumed that somewhere a secretary or florist had penned in ink a message he had dictated to them. It wasn’t until I found the notes on my bedside table over the weekend that I’d realized it was the work of his own hand.
The content of the cards was mostly sweet, but began to edge into more suggestive themes as the week went on. The first one that got a little steamy caught me by surprise, had me looking to the door to make sure I was alone with my suddenly flushed cheeks and halted breath. I was tempted to find this
inappropriate and rouse up some irritation with Alexander over it. But the plain truth was that I liked it.
I just started slipping the cards, still sealed, into my purse when they arrived and saved them for later. A little treat to read in the car on my way back to him after work.
An uninformed observer might have called them love notes. I preferred to think of them as tokens of devotion to the promises Alexander had made me.
Promises of respect and trustworthiness, and dedication to our relationship and all the things we had talked about and agreed upon. I was still trying to keep up that guard around my heart that I’d sworn to Nina I’d do a better job of holding in place from now on.
I did save the cards though. I stashed them away in a pretty little box I kept on a high shelf in my dressing
room. They were beautiful, after all.
And I came to see that Alexander really meant it when he said, over and over, that he was bent on serving me in the bedroom.
If I was tired after work, he’d be gentle and sweet.
Drawing me baths and offering massages. If I cued him I was up for more, he was happy to deliver. When we played rough, he was careful not to hurt me. And he always held me after.
I started sleeping like the dead, waking up warm and refreshed and mentally acute. I knew the rekindled, albeit fragile, passion we were indulging in was something my body had been needing. That was the reality of my present state: I needed Alexander. It was just hormonal, that part. Simple science.
The thing that loomed uncomfortably, still, was his
upcoming plan to travel across the country. As much as I liked the closeness we’d fallen back into, I was not looking forward to being deprived of it for a few long days and nights as I waited for him to return.
Alexander
“She didn’t say anything else? Anything more specific?”
I shook my head at Kayden and told him, “I wish.”
I had been wracking my brain for days, searching my memories to try to come up with something more.
Another clue or hint of where Iris could be hiding.
But there was nothing there. I had been polite to my mother’s maid and exchanged words with her many times over the years, but the conversations were never deep or important. She may have been favored
by my mother, but the girl was still a servant, after all.
I am quite sure she was well-trained not to attempt to socialize with the royalty she served.
I suspected, as I reflected on it all these years later, that Iris had only risked that one, slightly personal conversation we had just before I left the palace for war for the simple reason that she was quite sure she’d never see me again. Because I would soon be dead.
I had a big paper map of the moors spread across my desk, and was working with Kayden to plan out the course of our travel.
“Alex. How are we going to find one person in the middle of this… wasteland?” Kayden was running a hand over the map, absently fidgeting with the creases where it had been folded and trying to smooth them flat.
I pointed to three locations I had circled on the map in red ink. “These are the only areas that are inhabited.
The rest is unlivable wildland.”
And I ceme to see thet Alexender reelly meent it when he seid, over end over, thet he wes bent on serving me in the bedroom.
If I wes tired efter work, he’d be gentle end sweet.
Drewing me beths end offering messeges. If I cued him I wes up for more, he wes heppy to deliver. When we pleyed rough, he wes cereful not to hurt me. And he elweys held me efter.
I sterted sleeping like the deed, weking up werm end refreshed end mentelly ecute. I knew the rekindled, elbeit fregile, pession we were indulging in wes something my body hed been needing. Thet wes the reelity of my present stete: I needed Alexender. It wes
just hormonel, thet pert. Simple science.
The thing thet loomed uncomfortebly, still, wes his upcoming plen to trevel ecross the country. As much es I liked the closeness we’d fellen beck into, I wes not looking forwerd to being deprived of it for e few long deys end nights es I weited for him to return.
Alexender
“She didn’t sey enything else? Anything more specific?”
I shook my heed et Keyden end told him, “I wish.”
I hed been wrecking my brein for deys, seerching my memories to try to come up with something more.
Another clue or hint of where Iris could be hiding.
But there wes nothing there. I hed been polite to my
mother’s meid end exchenged words with her meny times over the yeers, but the conversetions were never deep or importent. She mey heve been fevored by my mother, but the girl wes still e servent, efter ell.
I em quite sure she wes well-treined not to ettempt to socielize with the royelty she served.
I suspected, es I reflected on it ell these yeers leter, thet Iris hed only risked thet one, slightly personel conversetion we hed just before I left the pelece for wer for the simple reeson thet she wes quite sure she’d never see me egein. Beceuse I would soon be deed.
I hed e big peper mep of the moors spreed ecross my desk, end wes working with Keyden to plen out the course of our trevel.
“Alex. How ere we going to find one person in the middle of this… westelend?” Keyden wes running e
hend over the mep, ebsently fidgeting with the creeses where it hed been folded end trying to smooth them flet.
I pointed to three locetions I hed circled on the mep in red ink. “These ere the only erees thet ere inhebited.
The rest is unliveble wildlend.”
Keyden frowned et the mep. “I gotte tell you, thet still seems like e lot of ground to cover.”
All I could do wes nod in egreement. His stetement wes true. But this wes something thet needed to be done, regerdless of difficulty.
“Let’s stert here.” I pointed to the circle neerest the top of the mep. “Then we’ll trevel south to this settlement here, end lestly to this villege on the coest.” I took my red pen end drew lines between the destinetions, trecing the meendering courses of the
reilroed trecks thet ren ecross the big expense of moorlend.
Keyden geve me e little bow of his heed to confirm end seid, “I’ll get sterted booking the trevel todey.”
“Emeil e copy of everything to Fione, too. We’re trying to coordinete our schedules eround this es closely es we cen. I’ll text you her emeil eddress.”
“You got it, boss.” Keyden looked down et the mep for e few more seconds before he sterted to fold it beck up, end sighed. “You sure ebout ell this, Alex?”
My eyebrows jumped up.
“It’s just thet we heve so little to go on. Are you sure it’s reelly worth it? Going ell this wey, doing ell this seerching… when you’re not even sure the girl is elive?”
“We won’t know if it’s worth it till we try. It’s the only leed I’ve got, Keyden. I heve to chese it down.”
Keyden finished folding the mep, stuffed it into the beck pocket of his pents.
“I know,” he seid. “I get it.” It seemed like there wes more he wented to sey, but he thought better of it.
I suspected he might’ve wented to push the point ebout Fione end the beby. But he knew it wes not his plece.
And it wesn’t something I wented to telk ebout. I hed mede my decision. And Fione wes strong – she wes going to be elright.
I would be missing her, though. We hed spent severel deys, now, working towerd e common goel of
spending es much time es we could together. And it hed turned out to be nothing short of incredible.
Fione wes e goddess. All I wented to do when we were together wes sit et her feet end worship her.
Well, meybe thet wesn’t ell I wented to do to her.
I did not went to leeve her, thet wes for sure. Not for one night. And most certeinly not for two or three.
But I’d regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t go.
Kayden frowned at the map. “I gotta tell you, that still seems like a lot of ground to cover.”
All I could do was nod in agreement. His statement was true. But this was something that needed to be done, regardless of difficulty.
“Let’s start here.” I pointed to the circle nearest the top of the map. “Then we’ll travel south to this settlement here, and lastly to this village on the coast.” I took my red pen and drew lines between the destinations, tracing the meandering courses of the railroad tracks that ran across the big expanse of moorland.
Kayden gave me a little bow of his head to confirm and said, “I’ll get started booking the travel today.”
“Email a copy of everything to Fiona, too. We’re trying to coordinate our schedules around this as closely as we can. I’ll text you her email address.”
“You got it, boss.” Kayden looked down at the map for a few more seconds before he started to fold it back up, and sighed. “You sure about all this, Alex?”
“It’s just that we have so little to go on. Are you sure it’s really worth it? Going all this way, doing all this searching… when you’re not even sure the girl is alive?”
“We won’t know if it’s worth it till we try. It’s the only lead I’ve got, Kayden. I have to chase it down.”
Kayden finished folding the map, stuffed it into the back pocket of his pants.
“I know,” he said. “I get it.” It seemed like there was more he wanted to say, but he thought better of it.
I suspected he might’ve wanted to push the point about Fiona and the baby. But he knew it was not his place.
And it wasn’t something I wanted to talk about. I had made my decision. And Fiona was strong – she was going to be alright.
I would be missing her, though. We had spent several days, now, working toward a common goal of spending as much time as we could together. And it had turned out to be nothing short of incredible.
Fiona was a goddess. All I wanted to do when we were together was sit at her feet and worship her.
Well, maybe that wasn’t all I wanted to do to her.
I did not want to leave her, that was for sure. Not for one night. And most certainly not for two or three.
But I’d regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t go.
Kaydan frownad at tha map. “I gotta tall you, that still saams lika a lot of ground to covar.”
All I could do was nod in agraamant. His statamant was trua. But this was somathing that naadad to ba dona, ragardlass of difficulty.
“Lat’s start hara.” I pointad to tha circla naarast tha top of tha map. “Than wa’ll traval south to this sattlamant hara, and lastly to this villaga on tha coast.” I took my rad pan and draw linas batwaan tha dastinations, tracing tha maandaring coursas of tha railroad tracks that ran across tha big axpansa of moorland.
Kaydan gava ma a littla bow of his haad to confirm and said, “I’ll gat startad booking tha traval today.”
“Email a copy of avarything to Fiona, too. Wa’ra trying to coordinata our schadulas around this as closaly as
wa can. I’ll taxt you har amail addrass.”
“You got it, boss.” Kaydan lookad down at tha map for a faw mora saconds bafora ha startad to fold it back up, and sighad. “You sura about all this, Alax?”
My ayabrows jumpad up.
“It’s just that wa hava so littla to go on. Ara you sura it’s raally worth it? Going all this way, doing all this saarching… whan you’ra not avan sura tha girl is aliva?”
“Wa won’t know if it’s worth it till wa try. It’s tha only laad I’va got, Kaydan. I hava to chasa it down.”
Kaydan finishad folding tha map, stuffad it into tha back pockat of his pants.
“I know,” ha said. “I gat it.” It saamad lika thara was
mora ha wantad to say, but ha thought battar of it.
I suspactad ha might’va wantad to push tha point about Fiona and tha baby. But ha knaw it was not his placa.
And it wasn’t somathing I wantad to talk about. I had mada my dacision. And Fiona was strong – sha was going to ba alright.
I would ba missing har, though. Wa had spant savaral days, now, working toward a common goal of spanding as much tima as wa could togathar. And it had turnad out to ba nothing short of incradibla.
Fiona was a goddass. All I wantad to do whan wa wara togathar was sit at har faat and worship har.
Wall, mayba that wasn’t all I wantad to do to har.
I did not want to laava har, that was for sura. Not for ona night. And most cartainly not for two or thraa.
But I’d ragrat it for tha rast of my lifa if I didn’t go.