Chapter 19
Arin goes to school here now. I'll have to see him every day. I'll have to talk to him every day. Why is this happening?
"We should go." Erica is still smiling. "Lots of stuff to unpack. Lots of pictures to take." She laughs triumphantly. "Let's see how Representative Quartz will respond to the news."
Arin doesn't say anything else. He just trails behind his mother.
Lilian appears at her door. "Cassandra," she eyes me. "Why are you here?"
I've forgotten why. I can only think of Arin. "Arin Hames is a student here."
"Yes."
"Why? How? He never even applied."
"He did." She corrects. "Yesterday."
"Aren't you worried about how that'll look? You can't accept a student who applied yesterday."
"I can do whatever I want, Cassandra. I'm the Director." She snaps. "And I don't care how it looks. Grey needs to learn his lesson." She walks back into her office.
"Grey?" I follow after her.
"Yes. Does he think I don't know when parties are thrown in the shed?"
I freeze. "You know about those?"
She laughs, sits on her desk, and flicks her wrist. Before the door bangs shut, she says, "you'll be hearing from Sebastian soon. For your sake, I hope Greyson stole your card and you didn't willingly give it to him."
The wind smacks my face and my papers fall on the ground.
Cyan sighs. "How about I email them to you and you can forward them back to me?"
I nod my head and leave the office.
I sit on the steps leading to the door and send the email to Sara, Paisley, and Michelle. Sara responds in two minutes with the completed form.
Michelle asks if I want to be her roommate, I tell her yes and she fills it in as well. I don't hold out hope for Paisley. I don't think she's ever checked anything that's not the school's social media app.
In ten minutes, I see an angry Grey stalking to the admin building.
"I see you've met your new roommate." I tease.
He doesn't smile. "This is not happening." His face is very red.
I laugh as he storms up to his mother's office.
I still don't go back to my dorm. Instead, I, hang around the library doing homework.
I get to the dining hall for dinner and see my friends at the usual table.
I bypass it altogether and sit next to Rachel at her empty table.
"Hey."
She barely looks up from her book. "Hey." Her shirt today says "Fock the Rules." She catches me looking at it. "No explicit language on clothing. School rules."
I smile. "Ironic."
"You don't have to sit with me. You can go back to your friends."
I don't look at them. "That's complicated." I look around. "So, any new friends yourself?"
"Yeah," she smiles. "You're actually sitting on one of them right now."
I frown. "It'll get easier. At least I hope it will."
"Yeah," she goes back to her lunch and doesn't speak for fifteen minutes. Without warning, she gets up and leaves the dining hall.
I leave as well because I don't want to sit by myself.
My heart breaks a little when I throw my half-eaten chicken wrap in the bin.
Ah, well. That's the price of a broken friendship.
***
I stay away from my room the next afternoon so Sara can pack her things and Michelle can move in.
I once again, avoid the group altogether and resolve to sit with Kat and Tristan during dinner.
"Cass," Tristan says when I sit next to him. "How did it go?"
"Yeah, what did Seb say to you?" Kat leans forward.
I shake my head. "He was pissed," Sebastian called me earlier today to chastise me about giving Grey my credit card. He said they review his for a reason and I shouldn't have gone behind his back. As far as he and Lilian are concerned, we both can't be trusted. "Sebastian put restrictions on our credit cards."
They all look horrified. "I can't imagine that. How are you coping?" Mika looks concerned.
I shrug. "I don't care. It's not like I ever use it." I rest my back on the chair.
"Do you need me to support you during this fiscally turbulent time?" Tristan asks patronizingly.
"I hate you." I throw a piece of lettuce at his chest. He laughs.
I turn away for a second and see Arin holding a tray filled with food. He's looking for a table.
He catches my eye and holds my gaze.
Barely a second later, he looks away.
I shake my head. "Sorry?" I ask Tristan.
He glances at Arin. "I didn't ask you anything."
"Oh." I inch closer to the table and pick my salad apart. A few minutes later, I get up. "I should check on my new roommate."
"I'll walk you." Tristan grabs my tray, puts it on top of his, and escorts me to the door.
He drops the two with the others and walks after me out the main door.
We walk silently to my hostel.
"Thanks," I wrap my arms around my chest.
He doesn't blink when he says, "do you still have feelings for him?"
I feign ignorance. "Who?"
"Cass," his voice is sterner.
I force myself to meet his eyes. He asked me this months ago and my answer was yes. I don't think he'd find that endearing tonight.
"Of course not," I say.
He stares at me for a long time. I don't know if he believes me or just doesn't want an honest answer.
Before he can walk away, I kiss his lips.
I make the kiss deep and passionate. "I still haven't been to your room. We've been in school for a month."
He pulls away and shakes his head. "It's getting late."
I kiss him again. "Everyone's at dinner. You can sneak me in now and sneak me out at 6 tomorrow."
He smiles through the kiss. "I think the school's security is worse than your dad's."
I smile as well. "Let's find out." I drag him to his hostel and he takes us through the secret back door.
"That's a wall." I protest.
"Kai." He calls. "I don't remember the password, but I'll owe you for this."
Silence.
"I don't..." I start.
A door-shaped hole appears in the wall.
"How did..."
"Kai's an earth elemental. He knows how to make the wall sink into the ground. Come on."
We appear in a hall not different from the ones in my building. "We'll just turn here." Tristan gets us up the stairs to the second floor.
"And we're here." He opens his bedroom door.
It looks exactly like Kat's. Just fewer decorations and more monochrome colours.
"Clean," I comment.
He sits on the bed and fishes a laptop from under his covers. "I try."
I lay on the bed. "It feels like your bedroom. Minus the TV we pretend to watch."
He chuckles and shakes his head.
Something pierces my back. I search under the covers and come back with a thick book.
I read the cover. "Guaranteed Success in PSE."
He sighs. "Ah, the Post Secondary Examination. Can't wait to take that."
"Isn't that usually at the end of fifth year?"
"Yes. But I need to get a good score so I can get into Further Education."
After an amazing five years in high school, students can choose to further their education. It's kind of like University, but not nearly as important as it is back home.
It's mainly for people who want to go into specific fields. Like Law, or Medicine, or anyone who wants more knowledge on specific subjects.
"Why Law?" I ask him.
"I'm going to be a Liege one day. It's better to be a lawyer first."
"Or you're scared Secretary Davis is gonna get his bills passed. Then, you'll have to win an actual election."
He takes his book and throws it on his desk. "Please don't remind me about that."
The room is silent for a while. "I wonder if I'm expected to attend a school." Aunt Freya did a two-year History course in Ferona after graduating from Brimstone. Sebastian was supposed to do something similar, but he opted out.
It's so weird to think that Seb was once...well, like Grey.
"You can study Law with me." Tristan offers.
I shake my head. "I'll be taking enough political courses after this year. I'm good."
He looks away for a second. "We still haven't talked about it."
"Talked about what?"
"The day of the pledge. When we were by the pool," he reminds me.
I take a deep breath. "That was adrenaline. I didn't mean it." My cheeks feel flushed. I can't believe I said that. Good thing Tristan was the only person to hear it.
"I didn't think it was stupid. I believe you can be Queen."
That makes me very uncomfortable. "I don't want to talk about it."
"We have to talk about it eventually. We can't just pretend it never happened."
"I don't want to, Tristan. Please, drop it."
He scoffs. "You know you avoid uncomfortable topics. The minute it goes out of your comfort zone, you just stop talking."
I feel myself getting angry. "You know you can't stop lecturing me. We've been together for six months and you still treat me like a child. It's always Cassandra, do this. Cassie, you shouldn't be doing that. It's like you don't respect my decisions."
He claps his hands. "There we go. Changing the subject. Making it about something else. Blowing things out of proportion."
"Oh, is that what I do? Do I blow things out of proportion?" I mimic his accent.
He rubs his face. "This is ridiculous."
I roll my eyes.
"I'm..." He points at his bathroom door, gets off the bed, and disappears behind the latter.
I bury my face in my hands.
No, no, no. Why did I get so defensive? Now everything's bad between us.
I leave the bed and knock on his bathroom door.
"Tristan."
No response. I call his name again.
He opens the door. His face is wet and his shirt is off. He doesn't say anything, he just stares at me.
I want to ask him to forget that entire conversation. But that would make things worse. "Are you mad at me?"
He bites his bottom lip. "I don't want to be mad at you?"
Wasn't a yes, but it also wasn't a no. "You want to talk about it?" A rhetorical question. "Fine. I'm never going to win. My approval rating is 31%. No Harrington has ever been so unpopular. I talk different, I act different, I look different. I'm not who people expect as a princess. Talk less of Queen. I know I will fail. And I don't want my hopes up."
He still doesn't move or say anything.
"What else do you want me to say?" I ask him.
He rubs the water away from his eyes. "I don't know what to say to you, Cass."
I find it hard to breathe. "I should go back to my dorm."
He's about to say something, he stops himself.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow. We should get some sleep." He finally says.
I nod and leave his room. I run down the stairs and to the hall I appeared in.
"Kai." I force my tears down. "Can you let me out?"
The wall sinks to the ground and I rush out of the building.
I get back to my dorm, strip all my clothes off, and have a long and hot shower.
When I get out, I find Michelle on her bed.
"Hello, new roommate." She chirps.
I can't help but smile. "Thanks. For switching. It was rude of me to even ask."
She waves her hand. "Oh, it's alright. You and Sara need a break from each other. The space will do you guys good."
I doubt that.
I get into bed and put out the lamp on my nightstand.
"Goodnight, Michelle."
"Night."
I don't know if it's the darkness, the crying, or the warmth of the shower, but I fall asleep quickly.