Chapter 87: Bitter Taste
IAN’s POV :
"We're just friends,"she said of him once.
Friends my fucking ass! What I saw back there wasn’t what just friends would do.
She was sitting on his lap.He was hugging her and touching her.She was letting him.And they fucking kissed.I had to look away
instantly, but the image was already burned into the back of my eyes.
I wanted to gag.I was angry, confused, disgusted, and hurt.Everything all at once.
Suddenly, I couldn't breathe.
My mouth fell open, but no air was coming in or out.I had to get out of there.
Shoving past anyone who was in my way, I made it back to my car and slammed the door shut.Every time I closed my eyes, that
image was all I saw.
No matter how loud I screamed or how hard I punched the steering wheel in front of me, nothing could release me from the
stinging pain in my chest.
How could she do this to me? Emma, my baby girl, my sweet girl.
The girl who’s got my heart and soul in the palm of her hand.
How could she hurt me like this? And how long has this been going on? Those thoughts were my only company as I sped away
out of that town.
For the next two hours, I was left alone with these thoughts and the aching pain in my heart.
Does she love him too? Is this why she wants space from me? This is what she wants to figure out? The more my brain replayed
the image in my head, the angrier I got.
I was in the middle of the I-95 N when I swerved my car to the side of the road and stopped.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I let out another angry scream and punched the steering wheel like a maniac.
My bruised up hand picked up my phone instinctively because I wanted to call her and ask her for an explanation.
But when I opened the screen, all I saw was Emma’s face, smiling right at me.
That got me even angrier for some reason.
My fist curled into the phone, wishing somehow I could break it.
When it didn't work, I opened the car door and threw the metal thing straight to the ground.
It cracked and broke into pieces.
That was satisfying to watch.
I stepped on the stupid thing a couple more times, making sure it was pulverized into millions of tiny pieces.
Looking back, I didn’t know why I did that.
The stupid phone never did anything wrong.
I was just so angry, I wanted to break anything.
I'd crash this stupid car if I could.
But that wouldn't get us anywhere.
Literally.
Letting out an exhausted sigh, I got back inside the car and continued driving.
All I wanted was an escape from this pain.
I had to get away as fast and as far away from her as I could.
But even as I got back to New York City and in the comfort of my own apartment, the pain was still there.
It was as strong and stubborn as ever.
And even when I punched my own head with my fists, I couldn't get the image of her and that guy out of my head.
It was getting pathetic.
My eyes went blurry and tears were falling out.
Was I fiicking crying right now? Like a fiicking bitch? Staggering to the kitchen, I grabbed whatever alcoholic beverage I had in
my arsenal and chugged it down in a flash.
When I had finished the bottle and it didn’t seem to work on me, I threw the stupid bottle away and the glass broke into tiny
pieces.
I grabbed another bottle and repeated the process again.
Rinse and repeat.
Until everything faded away and all I saw was blackness.I woke up to a loud pounding at the door.
My body was too weak to move, so I didn’t wanna get up.
But the pounding never stopped and it was annoying me.
The sound was piercing through my ears, causing my brain to the brink of explosion.
"lan! Are you in there? Open this freaking door right now!"
Ally was screaming her lungs out.
"I'm coming..."
I croaked as I staggered to the door.
As soon as I creaked the door open, Ally barged right in and shouted to my ears, "Hey! I’ve been calling and calling! Don't tell me
you forgot about today?"
"What day is it?"
I squinted my eyes, trying to remember, but I couldn't.
"Oh my god, lan, are you okay?"
Ally gasped when she was my bloody and bruised knuckles.
She then looked around the room and saw the gigantic mess that it was.
Broken bottles and broken furniture were everywhere.
Everything I could break with my hands, I did.
"What the fiick happened here?"she sounded worried.
"Stop yelling Ally, my head hurts.What do you want?"
"What do I want? lan, it's Saturday! It’s the gallery's soft launch,"
"Ah shit,"I muttered.
"I forgot about that,"
It was Saturday already? I didn't realize that.
I was drinking so much, I didn’t keep track of time.
The only time I left my apartment was to get food and more liquors.
I hadn’t talked to Emma, or talked to anyone for that matter.
I fell into this black hole, drinking myself into oblivion every chance I got.
"What's going on here? lan?"
Ally sighed, reaching for my battered up hand.
"I'm okay, I’m good.Give me ten minutes, I'll get dressed and we'll go,"
I said and I pulled my hand away.
"lan...Maybe we should go to a hospital?"she asked cautiously.
"Nah.Just give me ten...actually give me twenty minutes,"
I waved my hand carelessly and sauntered towards the bathroom.
I was good with my promise.
I got ready within twenty minutes.
I cleaned up all the blood, put some bandage on, washed my face, and I put on a shirt.
Ally was watching my every move.
She didn’t say a word, but she didn't have to.
That look on her face said it all, she was worried sick.We got to the gallery just in time for the soft launch.
It was a preview to a limited audience prior to the grand opening.
We did this so we could get some feedback before officially showcasing the gallery to the world.
Things were going great.
Ally was working the room like a rock star, and I made contacts with some of the greatest art connoisseurs in the city.
They also had champagne on free flow, and though it wasn't my favorite alcohol of choice, it was better than nothing.
After talking to a bunch of people, I was feeling tired again.
I picked up a bottle of champagne from the open bar and sauntered towards the back office where there were no people.
I thought I was gonna chill for a second, drink some champagne in the peace and quiet, when suddenly I saw Ally standing in
front of the door.
"What are you doing here?"Ally asked.
"Me? What are you doing here?"I retorted playfully and she just sighed.
"You wanna tell me what's going on with you?"she asked point blankly.
"After you left my apartment, I couldn't reach you for days.Your phone was off —"
"Actually, it's broken.I broke it,"I cut her off.
"What?"
"Threw it out the highway,"
"Why did you do that for?"
"Meh,"I shrugged.
"And what's going on with this?"
she gestured to my bandaged hand and the cuts around my face, "All the broken bottles? The broken furniture? I thought that
lan was gone a long time ago,"
"I guess he’s back now,"I chuckled.
Me and my damned anger issues.
I was diagnosed with an intermittent explosive disorder when I was young.
I became that guy when I couldn't control myself, I had episodes where I reacted in violent, angry outbursts.
It happened the first time when I found out about my dad’s accident.
That was the trigger that started everything.
But it had been a while since then, I was not the same stupid kid I was in high school.
I got treated and I was better.I hadn't had an episode in years.But now, it was coming back to me all over again.
"Did something happen with Emma?"Ally asked after a while of silence.
"Don't say her name,"I hissed.
Even hearing her name out loud was painful.
"I don’t wanna talk about her right now,"
"Okay..." she paused for a moment before continuing, "You're right, let’s not talk about her.It’s our gallery's soft launch.Can you
believe it? After years of hard work, blood, sweat and tears, we're finally here,"
"Cheers to that,"
I lifted my bottle and chugged it down.I never cared about the taste of champagne.
It was too sweet for my liking.After taking a big gulp, I put the half empty bottle away, not wanting to finish it.Ally watched me
intently and suddenly a smile curved up her face.
"I have something better than that if you want,"she said meaningfully.
I narrowed my eyes at her as she sauntered casually behind the desk.
She pulled a drawer open and picked up a bottle of The Macallan M along with two glasses.
"Whoa? Al, this shit is expensive as fick!" I laughed merrily as I picked up the bottle, examining it.
This thing could cost up to a thousand bucks a bottle.
"Special occasion,"she smirked.
Pulling the bottle from me, she opened it and poured some into the two glasses.
"I'm just gonna have a sip.And I know you're not in a celebratory mood, but “
"Celebration is not the only reason why we drink good whiskey," I cut her off, picking up a glass in my hand.
"Hear, hear,"she smiled widely and lifted her glass to me.
Our glasses clinked and I downed that wonderful whiskey taste as soon as the glass hit my mouth.
"To our blood, sweat, and tears,"Ally giggled.
"All the wait is finally paid off,"
We kept talking and drinking, but I wasn’t paying much attention to what she was saying.
I was too busy pouring drinks and finishing them.
I didn’t remember how much I drank, but it was a lot.
Because the next thing I knew, I was blacking out again.
Not completely, I was still aware of things, but I could feel myself blacking out.
"lan? Hey? Are you okay?"
Ally patted my face several times, pulling me out of the darkness.
"Wha.... "I opened my eyes and saw that I was standing on hard pavement.
We were standing outside the gallery.
I was too weak to stand on my own, so my arm was around Ally and she was holding some of my body weight.
The air outside was cold and wet, maybe it was raining a little.
"Why are we here?"I asked.
"We need to get you home,"she replied.
"I don’t wanna go.I want another drink,"
"lan, you’ve had too much already," I wanted to go back inside, but Ally was blocking my way.
I tried pushing her to the side, but she wasn't bulging.
I was too weak at this point to use my strength, so I groaned instead.
Like a flicking kid that didn’t get his toy.
"lan, stop.I can’t let you do this to yourself,"
she said as she put her hands around my face, holding me in place , "You pulled me out of my hole, and now I’m gonna do the
same for you,"
"What are you talking’ about?"I slurred.
"I love you, lan.So, just this once, will you look at me like you want me too?"
"All “ She didn’t give me a chance to speak.
She closed the distance between us and her lips landed on mine.
My eyes were closed instinctively as I felt her deepening the kiss.My mind was blank at this point.My heart or my soul, none of it
existed.All I had was this weak ass body.And all it could do was nothing...?