Tales of Midbar: Secret Priest

“Why wert thou fighting with psychics and magi?” Dwendra asked.

“It’s complicated," I said, "and I’d rather not talk about it.”

I was now very tired. I didn’t know what time it was because watches didn’t work for long if I wore them. However, I was fairly sure it was well past my normal bed time. I wasn’t a rapist but I was a seriously frustrated, teenage anav and having a very attractive anavah in close proximity was rather tempting. I’d got a good look at one of her nipples and just couldn’t get that thought out of my mind. I tried telling myself I didn’t want to get any more involved with this lunatic than I had to.

“What religion art thou? Thou didst not knoweth the liturgy.”

“Trulist but I worship Yoho.”

“Dost not Trulism hath enough of its own gods? Thou must steeleth our one God?”

“I was born a Trulist Yoho worshiper so I was rather stuck with it.”

“Thou couldst changeth. Yohoism alloweth psychics to marryeth each other.”

“Whatever.”

She clearly believed we were living before the Cataclysm and I didn’t think the not being allowed to change your religion thing existed back then. I knew when our ancestors had left Earth, most of them had been Trulists or Yohoists. All Yohoists had been killed or converted to another religion but Winemakerism, Nuhara and the Trulist Yoho worship, which I practiced, were all derived from it.

“What wast thou doing with Haprihagfen?”

“I think my sister, who’s Haprihagfen, was trying to be helpful.”

“Thou’s sister converted unto what, Winemakerism?”

“Yes, how did you know?”

“Haprihagfen art Winemakers. Benai Nibeyim art Yohoists but Yohoists don’t actively seeketh converts whilst Winemakers do. Unfortunately that meaneth Winemakerism ist growing whilst Yohoism ist declining as Winemakers art basically heretical Yohoists. The Benai Nibeyim breedeth psychics for to serveth Yoho and Haprihagfen doeth likewise but to serveth their corrupted version of Yoho who hath fathered a son, who art also his avatar, on Earth long after everybody hadst been killed in a nuclear war. We only hath the word of some anavim for that but many do believeth it.”

I could no longer contain myself and asked, “There aren’t any Yohoists left but they’re are still some Benai Nibeyim so that doesn’t make sense!”

“There art many Yohoists although the Nuharas art trying hard to converteth or killeth us and the Winemakers art mostly just converting us. Some, like myself, art remaining loyal.”

“Whatever, let’s try to get some sleep!”

Try as I might and exhausted though I was, I found it hard to sleep. I’d fallen in love, been betrayed by a man I thought a friend, discovered my sister could teleport, been transported to this place where I’d helped kill a man and hide the body and was now in a tent with a beautiful, mad girl. I only knew three anavot, one was my sister, another her friend who I knew very little about and the other was a homicidal lunatic who thought she needed to remain a virgin. For that matter, I wasn’t sure of Egrindreth’s or Vrenloa’s sanity. The thought occurred to me there were probably only three teenage anavot on Midbar; Egrindreth, Vrenloa and the Vineyard magis. Or was Egrindreth the Vineyard magis? No she was born before the previous magis had died! I’d have thought a magis could have fought off the man who’d been pretending to be Nuhar Zorg more easily but I didn’t really know that. Maybe Trulism had a point about psychics not marrying each other but I knew many teenage hipsickot and they all hated me! Psychic girls seemed generally friendlier but whenever I thought I was getting anywhere with one, something went horribly wrong and it usually wasn’t clear what. I wasn’t sure if I could pull off posing as a stroke victim to get past Zorg’s friends. Well the friends of the man who’d been pretending to be Zorg. I didn’t even know if the palace with many people in it was part of Dwendra’s delusions, maybe nobody was out there. I rather hoped that was the case. Then I kept thinking about Dwendra’s nipple and Miandri’s rather different nipples.

Morning came, I think. It seemed dark and the sandstorm was still raging. Dwendra insisted on doing another religious ritual. She said I didn’t have to join in but I did. Fortunately the tent had a supply of food and drink. Dwendra and myself spent most the time talking about our lives. I tried to avoid talking about my problems with girls. It was now clear she was convinced she was living some time before the Cataclysm. I’m afraid history isn’t my strong point, my school seemed to go to great lengths to make it as boring as possible. Therefore I wasn’t able to pick holes in her accuracy and I was trying not to upset her anyway.

After we had some lunch and prayed some more, she asked, “Canst thou not teleporteth us out of here?”

“I don’t know how. I’m not even sure if I could do it without some magic.”

“Canst we tryeth to recreateth the circumstances that didst causeth it before? Thou had other psychics. I art an anavah.”

“There was an anavah and two katcheyim. I think the anavah and at least one of the katcheyim were either magi or had artifacts.”

“What sort of mood wert thou in?”

“Foul.”

“Canst thou remembeth what it wast?”

“I think so, I’m still not a lot better.”

She moved over to me, “Now stand up and holdeth me!”