Take me to the Deepest Blue

Narya couldn’t peel her eyes away from the car window. She’d seen mountains before, mostly in pictures or movies she and Nick had watched when they stayed up late, while indulging in midnight snacks. During a hike with Nick a few days earlier on Cat Island, she saw one for herself—Mount Alvernia—but it was nothing compared to the astounding sight that shook her to the core. Glorious snow-capped mountains standing behind rows and rows of lush green forests. A crystal-blue lake at the bottom mirrored the picturesque landscape. If someone had told her that she’d be granted this view before boarding the plane, it might have helped. But how do you describe such a place with mere words?

She stayed silent through most of the drive, her thoughts busy with Katie and the incident that she played a part in. Now, her worries evaporated into thin air as she stared out the car window, willingly held captive by the beauty of a side of nature she’d never witnessed before.

“Here we are—Joffre Lakes,” Nick said, grinning as he watched her still entranced by their surroundings. “You like it?”

Louise rolled her eyes and exited the car. “Like it? God, look at her. Good luck bringing her back to the Bahamas.”

Nick followed swiftly behind. He opened the trunk and started unpacking their camping gear.

If this was going to be their home for the next few days, Narya wasn’t sure if she would waste any time sleeping. Her eyes studied the lake, wondering whether there would be any familiar species below, but this was a new territory and it even smelled different. She inhaled deeply and smiled at the foreignness of it all.

“I wonder what movie this is. Probably a rom-com of some sort, huh?” Louise asked, nudging her.

“What?” She was still in the midst of taking it all in—the mountains, the inviting color of the lake, the towering pine trees that surrounded them like an otherworldly fortress.

“Your boyfriend, the movie star? Never mind . . .” Louise chuckled wryly and bent down to open her tent.

Narya hadn’t thought about Keames since they had arrived. Now that Louise reminded her, she couldn’t help but wonder if this trip was in vain. Could this actually be? Keames, an actor? She tried to picture Keames posing in front of a camera, flashing his smile and basking in the public’s adoration. He had always been a modest merman, despite all the achievements he could boast of. One of the fastest swimmers on his grid, he’d won all the races in the past five years. Being the eldest son of a well-respected Advisor’s family certainly made him one of the most eligible mermen, but he never was one to brag or crave public attention. The Keames she knew was a modest, kind, and at times, shy merman. Had he really changed all that much since he left for land?

By the time they finished setting up camp, the sun was dipping into the orange-lit lake. A rare quietness filled the air, and all three of them lay in their sleeping bags, gazing upward, simultaneously enthralled by the starlit sky.

A few minutes passed in silence, and a loud snore came from Louise’s sleeping bag. Narya turned, startled by this foreign sound. Seeing the shock on her face, Nick burst into laughter and she joined in. She shifted to her side, her eyes lingering on Nick’s dimples. Whenever he smiled, she couldn’t help but feel that she accomplished something great. The more time she spent with him, she came to realize how rare it was to make him laugh. His usual expression was indifference. He was hard to read, but she felt that the shell he hid behind wasn’t voluntarily constructed. It had been cast on him like an encumbrance he couldn’t shake off. And now that she’s unveiled Katie’s identity, she’d come to understand why.

She would put off asking him about Katie for now. She didn’t want anything to ruin this moment. Nick appeared relaxed and genuinely enjoying just being here. There must have been a time when his smile wasn’t a rare occurrence.

“This is nice,” she said through a half-yawn as she stretched her arms.

“Yes, it is.” He put his head behind his arms and closed his eyes, his lips still curved upward.

“I’m nervous.” She had to confess to someone. The thought of meeting Keames tomorrow seemed like a daunting task that would seal her fate. To stay or to leave. Nick’s smile faded, and he opened his eyes and stared at her as if he could read her mind. She knew that humans and merpeople could not communicate this way, but sometimes she thought Nick could read her thoughts as easily as anyone underwater.

“Of course you are. And that’s okay.”

The warmth of his voice made her want to put her arms out and curl up beside him. But she was acutely aware of the distance she needed to keep from Nick since she had uncovered his past.

“Thank you.” She looked up at the sky again. This was the same constellation she had stared at night after night when she swam to the surface for a clearer glimpse of the moon. She felt like they had been in disguise all this time, and that she was finally seeing them clearly for the first time.

A loud, rustling sound of something being dragged along the ground shook Narya from her sleep. She rubbed her eyes and blinked before she made out the shape of a kayak.

“Sorry I woke you.” Nick ’s face came into view. “I’m going out for a quick row.” He took a few steps before turning around. “You want to join?”

She nodded eagerly at his invitation and quickly unzipped her sleeping bag, pulling out the clunky pair of boots that Louise gladly had donated to her.

“Here, put this on.” Nick grabbed a lifejacket from the kayak and handed it to her.

“Oh, I don’t need that.”

Nick looked puzzled. “I thought you were scared of the water. Are you sure you can swim? It’s quite deep out there.” He casted a worried glance at the lake behind them.

“Oh.” It didn’t occur to her that lake water might be an issue. She eyed the kayak and wondered how good of a rower Nick was. If she fell into the lake, would the change take place?

Gingerly, she took a few steps toward the edge of the water. When she neared the rocks, she held her breath in, dipped her hand inside and gently splashed some water on her legs. Nothing. Not even a tingle.

“I’ll be fine.” She nodded confidently, walked back, and grabbed the end of the kayak.

His puzzled expression faded into a smile and he let out a soft chuckle.

“I don’t know what you just did, but you can’t test the depth of that lake by putting your hand into it.” He picked up one of the oars in the kayak and handed it to her. “Just . . . try not to fall in, alright?”

He held the kayak steady while Narya settled awkwardly into her seat. This was her first time in such a confined space above water, and the excitement made her uncontrollably giddy. Another first-time experience. She likely would not be able to share this with the others—the idea of a mermaid during transition treading so close to the sea was scandalous enough. She smiled as she imagined Jane’s solemn face, warning her to stay away from the waters. If only she could see her now. The fact that this must remain a secret made it even more thrilling.

“All right, you ready?” Nick pushed the kayak out into the open waters and then swiftly hopped in behind her. He expertly maneuvered his oar, taking them out at an exciting pace. The morning mist slowly dissipated, and the sun was beginning to make its grand entrance. The lake glittered with reflected sunlight and snow-capped mountains. The breathtaking scenery was beyond any words she could think of out of all the languages she knew. She absorbed it all speechlessly, falling more in love with the place by the second.

This was the first time she had used an oar. How could Nick manage his so effortlessly? She could only assume they moved along smoothly because of him. The water was clear and pristine, as though it were calling her; she responded by dipping her hand into the lake. A cooling sensation soothed her skin, sending a gratifying responsiveness through her veins, rejuvenating her whole body. The water was her temptress and she was willingly lured into her trap. She closed her eyes and was transported back into the water realm, imagining dipping her whole body into the lake, savoring the illusion of that achingly familiar feeling.

“Taking a break already?” Narya couldn’t see his face, but she knew from his mocking tone that he was smiling. He smiled more and more these days, and it pleased her to see him like this—like he was thawing out of bad spell. Or a bad incident. Her thoughts drifted back to Katie and to the Bahamas.

“I’m not really scared of the water, you know,” she whispered. She didn’t lie often, and it was embarrassing to admit that she was uncovering her own lie.

“I figured. Why did you lie about it?”

“I guess . . . I’m trying to forget about something in my past.” She couldn’t tell him the whole truth, and she struggled to find the right words. “For now. I’m steering clear of the water. But eventually, I’ll go back again.”

“Right.” This seemed to have struck a familiar note with him. He sounded relieved, like he had just admitted his own fear of the water.

“Can we go further out?” Narya asked. She was consumed by the surrounding beauty, and so boldly fueled by excitement that she wasn’t ready to go back. For the first time, she began to doubt whether this world didn’t possessed unfathomable powers and that she was not falling prey to its seduction.

Nick didn’t respond. They were gliding faster now, and the movement of his oar was swifter and stronger than before. He led them into deeper waters, and she found herself liking him more by the stroke.

It had been more than half an hour since they left shore, and Narya could feel the sun warming their backs, gently reminding them that it was time to leave this idyllic place. Pulled back into reality, she could only imagine Louise wondering where they were. Or did she already know Nick’s old habits? She began to feel a tinge of envy thinking of their closeness. Were they still attracted to each other? And why should it matter to her now? They rowed in silence, both preoccupied with their own thoughts. Tired, she took her oar out of the water and placed it on her lap. The water dripped onto her legs, each drop rendering her more vulnerable to the temptation of diving in.

A loud splash near them awoke Narya from her trance, and as she looked for the source of the sound, all she saw was a fish’s tail dipping back into the water. Now she knew she couldn’t hold back any longer.

“I’ll be right back.” She didn’t have time to explain her unstoppable urge to be one with the water, or how staying above water had been such a heart-wrenching struggle. She had to take this chance before they flew back to the Bahamas where she would be surrounded by the ocean and its temporarily forbidden borders. At least here she was free to swim—even just for little while.

“Wait—what?”

Before Nick could stop her, she dived in fully clothed. She felt the weight of her wet clothes, but it was a small burden to bear. Aware that there was a human watching her, she slowed her pace lest she scare him with her usual mermaid speed. Soon she was giggling uncontrollably, and she raised her head above the water, peeking childishly at Nick.

“Are you crazy? It’s like five degrees in there!”

He sounded mad. The usual calm in his voice was gone, and she detected a palpable concern in his eyes she hadn’t seen before. It felt nice to be cared for like this. She wished he knew that mermaids were not bothered by the cold.

“It’s not that bad,” she said. “I’m always cold, so it doesn’t really make a difference.”

He eyed her with suspicion and a faint smile.

“You are the weirdest person I’ve ever met.”

“Thank you.” She couldn’t care less what he thought of her at this moment. Her arms flapped against the water, and she laughed so hard she could hardly keep her head above water. It wasn’t salty like the kind she was used to, and the breathtaking landscape that encircled them deepened her trance-like mood.

“I think you should get out of there before you get sick.” He attempted to pull her up. As his hand touched the water, his arm shot up and he looked at her in shock. “The water is freezing! You have to come out right now!” He stretched both his arms out and motioned for her to let him help.

She beamed at him as she swam ahead obediently then impishly tugged at his arm. When he fell in, the sound of his scream was muffled by the splash he made in the water.

“I’ll bet it was cold!” Louise stood by the shore with her arms crossed.

She looked neither angry nor amused by the fact they had returned soaked from head to toe. She appeared indifferent, perhaps even a little jealous by the way she was hugging her arms. But he couldn’t be sure; it has been too long since he had read her like that.

“Yes, well—I didn’t go in voluntarily. She did.” He let out a loud sneeze. Looking over his shoulder, he saw that Narya still had her feet in the water, hesitant to leave her new haven. He still was in disbelief that she had been so unaffected by the freezing lake water.

“I’m going to change out of these clothes.” He glanced at Louise, who followed Narya with her eyes.

He hadn’t seen her like this since they were together. She was probably one of the most confident person he knew, but she was easily ticked off if she found any other girl showing the slightest interest in him. Today, he had seen the same glare in her eyes. But he didn’t feel that Narya showed any sign of interest. If anything, she was more intrigued by the lake than his company. But it did raise a small doubt in his mind. Was he attracted to her? He watched her standing by the shore, still in her damp clothes, waving to Louise, who looked less than enthusiastic, to join her. He strained to get a clearer glimpse of Narya—the wave of long curls that cupped her face and her blurred silhouette suddenly triggered something in his memory. He felt a shift deep within himself. Like his darkest secret was being unlocked. The familiarity about her had paved the way for unwanted nostalgia, the memory of someone he loved.

After changing into dry clothes, Nick sat quietly in the tent and willingly let in the memories that both pained and soothed him.

Katie had loved the water—obsessed was more like it. When he first introduced his younger sister to the world of diving while on a vacation in Maui, she thought she hit jackpot. This was her newfound passion and her first love. At the ripe old age of twenty-one, she had only started to discover the world, to travel, and to align her passion with her career. One day, she announced to him over a plate of macaroni and cheese, their regular Friday-night dinner, that she was going to be a diving instructor in the Bahamas. Without consulting with him first, she had already accepted this job offer and had bought herself a one-way ticket to begin her idyllic island life. He couldn’t possibly let her go alone. The only placed she’d ever traveled to by herself was San Francisco, and that was a closely chaperoned trip. Their great aunt hosted her throughout her stay and demanded strict curfew hours. This was something entirely different and foreign. Playing the big brother card, he insisted that he would escort her there and stay until she had settled in.

When they arrived on the island, they had rushed into the water like fish that craved release into the open sea. There was no time to lose; they had to scratch an itch for being separated from the water for so long on the flight over. They both loved to be immersed in the deep blue, encircled by colorful species of fish, coral reefs, and the complete silence that made it all the more inviting. On their third morning, when the adrenaline started to wear off and the jetlag began to kick in, he was torn between sleeping in or tearing himself away from bed by five o’clock in the morning to go for an adventurous dive. They would be exploring the 100-foot Theo’s Wreck off Grand Bahama island—a desperate request from Katie. He still remembered turning the second alarm off on his phone at 5:13 a.m. He had thought the number was oddly ominous; it reminded him of Friday the 13th. Being logic minded, he chose to ignore a silly superstition and grudgingly dragged himself out of bed.

By the time he got to the beach, Katie was already geared up, and he sensed her impatience before he even approached her. He could still see her, jumping up and down and shouting at him, her voice comically high as she begged him to hurry because the tide wasn’t going to wait for them. How true that was. The tides, the waves, and the ocean waited for no one, nor did they have the ability to mourn any loss they were responsible for.

Deeply infatuated by the sea, they seldom saw harm pushing their limits, so in they went. They had chartered a private boat from a man named Bob, who bore a striking resemblance to Bob Marley with his long dreads and a hazy look in his eyes. Getting on that boat was a decision Nick would regret for the rest of his life—every minute he breathed and mourned for Katie.

When they arrived at the diving spot, and the captain of the boat shut off the engine, Katie turned to him and waved. That was the last time he ever saw her alive above water.

“Hey! Are you sleeping in there?” Louise’s voice freed him from his memories. Some days he preferred to linger and dwell on thoughts of Katie. Today, though, he was thankful for Louise’s nosiness.

“Yeah, I’m coming out.”

As he unzipped his tent, Narya popped her head through the opening and gazed at him with her large, innocent eyes.

“I’m sorry I pulled you in like that yesterday. I didn’t realize it was that cold.”

Her voice was barely audible, but her eyes flickered and he realized that she didn’t regret it at all. In fact, she must have enjoyed seeing him falling into the water. He laughed lightly. For some reason, he found himself more and more incapable of keeping a straight face when he was with her. Seeing her lessened the strain he had carried by himself for so long. He stared at her now with a curiosity that made his heart flutter. She was removing the pieces that had cluttered his core for so long and replacing them with fresh air. He found it easier to breathe just by being around her. This odd girl he had found on the shores of the Bahamas in the middle of the night was slowly but surely healing and piecing back together his shattered soul.