Subject Seventeen: Wraith Among Shadows

“Do you mean to tell me the boy-wonder blew himself sky high?” Four says.

“Yes,” Thirteen replies.

“Why the hell would he do that?!” I scream. “There’s no way he would supernova for no reason. He had control of himself didn’t he?”

“You guys are real idiots, aren’t you?” Twelve says.

We all turn to look at him and glare at him. He simply smirks and turns his back to us. Ten picks up where Twelve left off.

“You guys really are idiots. Especially you, Two. I’m pretty sure that Nine told you what would happen if his memories returned and he couldn’t control his emotions.”

“But he did! I was there when he got his memories back! There’s no way that he was unstable! I saw him with my own eyes!”

“No. You saw what you wanted to see,” Nine says. “The first time he got his memories back, did you see how freaked out he was? It was only the fear that I would kill him that kept him in check. This time he had all his memories back. His emotions overwhelmed him. He knew this and let it happen. He let his emotions run rampant.”

“And why on earth would he do that?!”

“Because of us,” Thirteen says. I turn to look at him even though his back is turned to us. “The Forgotten would have killed us and Seventeen knew it. They would have won the war for the Youdu and China within months. Fourteen shared his memories with you all. You knew exactly what the Forgotten were capable of. Mass destruction. Seventeen took into account this factor as well. Not to mention that this was bound to happen sooner or later after he made the choice to kill Sanders.”

“What?! That makes no sense… So what if the Forgotten would have killed us. He has no emotional attachments to any of us! And how the hell does Sanders death play a role in all this?”

“First of all, you of all people should know that he does have an emotional attachment to someone in this group. Isn’t that right, Sky?”

Something tugs at my heart and I take a step back. I don’t know why but I’m biting my bottom lip and blood is slowly starting to trickle out.

“He knew me. I get it. That still doesn’t mean someone risks their life to save one person. And you still haven’t answered my question.”

“Seventeen saw a vision of the future. He saw what the world would be like after the war started. In that future, Three, you, Henshaw and Sanders were all alive. Washington had fallen. I warned Seventeen not to do something so stupid like try to change that future. But he did by killing Sanders. He couldn’t bear seeing the person he loved in that situation or worse than that; dead.”

“So how does that matter?! It has nothing to do with his death!”

“Oh, it has shitloads to do with it. Changing the future does not come without its consequences. Especially significant events in the timeline. The timeline will always try to balance itself out. By killing Sanders, Seventeen saved hundreds of thousands more lives. But the price of saving even one life that is fated to be lost means that another must be taken. His life was taken in return. Even if it seems like his death was only chance or a coincidence, I assure you it wasn’t.”

I stare up at the sky and drop to the ground. This is really happening. I don’t know why I am so upset. Seventeen is dead. It’s sad, sure, but it isn’t that much of a significance to me. I didn’t know him personally after all. So why am I so upset? It feels as if my heart is trying to dig its own way out of my chest. Seventeen died because of two reasons: he changed the timeline and he wanted to kill the Forgotten. No. He died because he loved me. What an idiot. Taking on so many of those abominations by yourself? Of course you’re going to die. Of course you are! Did he really think he would walk away unscathed? And what the hell is up with the fact that he couldn’t control his emotions? He looked completely fine when Fourteen restored his memories. There’s no way his emotions would cause his powers to become unstable that easily. Not unless he did something extreme which goes against his nature. There’s simply no way.

Then my mind flashes back to the moment Seventeen killed Sanders. He was shaking uncontrollably. I remember the look in his eyes of one being both of pity and regret. Is that what set it off? The same event which doomed his life to balance the timeline killed him in such a way?

Love can make people do stupid things. I say this but I can feel the tears streaming down my face as I fall to my knees. I can’t help but scream into the air and let it all out. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. What is this pain in my heart? I’m not having another heart attack am I? No... it feels worse than that.

“Restore my memories,” I whisper. “I want my memories back. I want to know who he is. Sorry, I mean who he was.”

“Not possible,” Fourteen says. “I completely erased all remnants of your memories.”

“What the hell did you do?!” I scream in agony. “And how the hell did you even find the time to do that?!”

Fourteen turns his head away from me in shame and I can’t help but feel despair. Everything has gone to shit. Everything that all of us have worked for or done has gone to shit. Before I was constantly switching between the idea of knowing or not knowing who Seventeen really was, or who I am. Now I have lost that chance. Permanently. I want to scream and cry out. I want to hit someone in the face or kill them. I want to lash out and just do something. Even crying would be better than nothing. But I can’t cry any more tears. I just sit there on the ground, silent and still. I’m in shock. I don’t know what to do anymore.

“Seventeen protected us from the Forgotten,” Fourteen finally says. “And he did what he thought was right. We had no right to stop him when he made that choice. He was also the one who asked me to wipe your memories. He said that you wouldn’t possibly understand, but it would be better for you not to remember anything. He told me right after I gave him back his memories. It looks like he already knew what was going to happen. The last thing he said to me is that he made a promise to you that he wanted to keep.”

I wearily raise my head and look at Thirteen. He, Nine, Ten and Twelve are all standing in front of everyone with their backs to us. A light breeze brushes against my face and I almost welcome the cold.

“So what now?” I say, my voice hoarse. “What left is there for us to do now? We’re just helpless teenagers flung into this crazy world. I don’t have any motivation to fight anymore. Screw this war. It has nothing to do with me…”

“Yes,” Ten says. “It does.”

The four standing in front of us all keep their backs facing us as they look out towards the horizon. The waves crash against their boots as the wind picks up a little.

“Thirteen just told me our next destination,” Nine says. “And by the way, Two, this has everything to do with us. Whether we knew it or not, we started this war. It is only right that we end it. Seventeen didn’t die to keep us alive so we could lounge about and do nothing.”

“I hate to say it,” Ten says. “But as much as I don’t want to do it, we have nothing better to do. We might as well end this war.”

“Not to mention that I’ve been wanting to beat some pricks up,” Twelve says. He lets off a little laugh as he talks. “I’ve been meaning to break a few people since I got out.”

Thirteen turns his head slightly so that we can see the left side of his face. His dark brown eyes flash white as he raises his head slightly before talking.

“I hate talking too much. You guys know that. So I’m only going to say this crap once. Right now we four intend to end this war. We intend to take out the Youdu once and for all. The world is entering a new phase. A new century and a new era. We’re going to lead the fight and restore the peace that we destroyed. There’s no room for emotions. No room for feelings. This is a war. It’s already started. Make your mind up.”

“For too long we’ve been manipulated into doing the dirty work of Youdu,” Nine says. “Now we’re going to take the fight to them and show them that we’re not people they can mess with and get away with it. If you intend to join us, then that’s all good. If you’re too much of a coward, then piss off and go live some carefree life in some village – god knows where.

“Sure, our numbers are down,” Thirteen takes over. “Eight is dead and now so is Seventeen. That doesn’t mean that we’re any less dangerous. So don’t make me regret breaking my policy and giving this long speech. World War Three has begun. It’s practically the end of the world as we know it. I for one don’t intend to be stuck living on a desolate planet. And not that I care too much, but half of you are probably going to die even if you do come along, sorry to say. But there are things in this world more important than your life. A great man proved that today. So I’m going to put an end to this war once and for all. What about you guys?”

One picks herself up the ground. Even Three who is still hurt seems to be stirring. Four, Five and Six are already standing with Thirteen, Ten, Nine and Twelve. Seven, Eleven, Fourteen, Fifteen and Sixteen all rise up and head towards Thirteen. Everyone is springing to action with Thirteen’s simplistic speech. Such a simple speech. Simple. Yet why does it make me want to stand up?

I sigh and look up to the sky. It has begun to get dark now and you can see the first stars coming out. I watch them shine brightly above my head, almost feeling as if I’ve done this so many times before. This time, however, feels strange. This time I feel a bit lonely. I wonder why. I don’t stop the solitary tear that rolls down my left cheek.

Pressing my fist against the ground, I slowly begin to push myself up. I shakily get to my feet and I sway unsteadily a little before I regain my composure. I know that everything Thirteen said is right. Completely right. We started this war. We instigated it. Even if we didn’t know what we were doing, we still have a responsibility to correct our mistake. Seventeen didn’t die to save us from the Forgotten for nothing. I may not remember everything about who he was, but I’ll still remember his will. That one act that he did; taking his own life and blowing the Forgotten sky high just so we could escape and so he could save lives. That won’t be forgotten. I’ll remember it. I promise myself I will. He loved me so much he sacrificed himself. I'll hold onto that love and will. I'll use it for the sake of others.

I raise my head and look at Thirteen and the rest of the team who are all staring at me, simply waiting for my response. I already know what I have to do. Like Thirteen said, there is no room for emotion or feelings anymore. There is no room for carelessness. No room for failure. The world has entered a new era. A new age which will be filled with blood, crisis and destruction. The only ones who may stand a chance at ending it is us.

The wind picks up around me, battering my face and making me shiver. I raise my right hand up to the sky. Mustering all the energy I can, I let loose a violent blast of lightning into the sky. This is what I have to do. No more uncertainty from me. No more torn between what I should and shouldn’t do. No more selfish or childish behaviour. There is only one thing I have to do right now. I look at the rest of my team. All of them are ready and prepared to do what is necessary. The only question on their minds right now is whether I am too. That’s an easy question. They should all already know my answer.

“Yes,” I say. “I’ll fight.”