Straight Up Love (The Boys of Jackson Harbor Book 2)

The gym is a ghost town Saturday afternoon, and I couldn’t be happier. After the morning I had, the last thing I want is social hour while I’m trying to work off my frustration.

When Ava left, Shay texted to tell me not to come over. Mom was sleeping and said she’d see everyone at brunch tomorrow. I finished cleaning up breakfast, trying my damnedest not to think about Ava. Not the way she hugged me after I gave her the tickets. Not the way she looked lying in my bed. And definitely not the fact that she’d rather have me jack off into a cup than touch her.

I tried really damn hard not to think about any of that.

I failed.

Ava was all I could think about, and since that clusterfuck of emotions was making me more than a little stir crazy, I headed to the gym like I always do when I want to escape my feelings.

Despite thirty minutes of intervals on the treadmill and a grueling leg session, I’m still screwed up. Maybe you can’t just sweat out a conversation like this morning’s.

I’m setting up my bar for bench press when someone taps me on the shoulder. Pulling out my earbuds, I turn to see Ellie, Ava’s other best friend.

“Ava has lost her mind.”

“Hey, El. Good to see you today.”

She rolls her eyes. “I need your help.”

My mind flashes back to last night, to Ava in that sexy-as-fuck wrap dress and red heels, and her hand gripping my arm as she asked if I’d help her.

Ellie stares at me expectantly. “Please?”

I look around for Colton, since he and Ellie always come to the gym together, but he’s nowhere to be seen. Judging by his condition when I kicked his drunk ass out of my bar last night, I’d guess he’s still sleeping it off.

“Are you listening to me?” she says. “Ava wants to have a baby.”

“She told me.” I shrug, as if I don’t care. As if this news and the way it was delivered to me didn’t rock my world in the most fucked-up way this morning. “What do you want me to do about it?”

If she suggests I hand over my sperm, I might lose my shit.

Ellie’s eyes go wide, and she throws up her hands. “I want you to stop her! She has no idea how hard this is going to be. Raising a baby on her own? I watched my mom struggle for years. I want better than that for my best friend.”

I slide a forty-five-pound plate onto one end of the barbell and grab another. “So tell her that.”

“I have, but she won’t listen to me. She’s gone crazy since she got that invitation.”

I slide the second plate on and look at Ellie. “What invitation?”

“The invitation to Harrison’s wife’s baby shower. What do you think started all this?”

Honestly, Ava’s wanted to be a mom so long that I hadn’t thought about what made her decide to act on it now. I’ve been too fixated on my bruised ego. But if she just found out that her ex-husband is going to have a baby, that would explain a lot. “Harrison’s wife is expecting?”

“Yes, and now Ava’s got it in her head that the only way she can have a baby is to do it alone. You know there’s a good man out there who’d kill to be with her.”

I can’t argue with her there.

“She just needs to be patient,” Ellie says, and there’s so much intensity in her words that I think she’s almost as screwed up about all this as I am. “Ava’s amazing and fucking hot. Who wouldn’t want to be with her?”

“I have no idea,” I mutter.

“I don’t want her to make a mistake.”

I swallow hard. Ava was crushed when her husband left her, but it wasn’t just losing Harrison that broke her heart. She thought she was losing her chance at having a family. It makes sense that him having a baby would fuck with her a little.

I drag a hand through my hair. “I can say something to her, Ellie, but it’s not really my place.”

“Come on,” she says. “You and I both know she listens to you more than she listens to me. And anyway, at least you’re single. Everyone knows Colton and I are going to get engaged any day now, so it’s hypocritical for me to say she shouldn’t mind waiting when I don’t have to.”

What she’s saying makes sense, but what does she expect me to say? “Hey, Ava, you’re being impulsive because your ex is having the baby you wanted. It’s okay to be upset, but don’t be in a rush to get knocked up. Wait until you’re ready for me to do it.”

“You look tired,” Ellie says.

“I slept on the couch last night. Ava was drunk and needed a place to crash,” I say, leaving out the part about how I was up worrying because I thought Ava was pregnant. I cut my gaze to Ellie. “Which you would have known if you hadn’t bailed on her birthday party.”

She grimaces. “I didn’t want to. Colton and I got in a fight, and I wasn’t in the mood to party.”

A fight with Ellie would explain why Colton was at the bar trashed and looking for trouble at last call. I went back down to retrieve Ava’s purse after tucking her in, and there was Colton, swaying all over the place and eager for an excuse to take a swing at anyone. I was relieved he showed after I got Ava upstairs and not before. Ava seems to think the job of keeping her little brother out of trouble falls on her. “What were you two fighting about this time?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Levi emerges from the locker room. “Hey, Jake.” He lifts his chin in greeting, then his gaze shifts to Ellie and his eyes skim over her the way they always do. My little brother has it bad for his best friend’s girl. My heart goes out to him. I know a little something about wanting a woman you can’t have.

“Hey, Levi,” Ellie says. “Thanks for bringing Colton home last night.” She shakes her head and lowers her voice. “It won’t happen again, okay?”

Levi nods, his posture stiffening. “What about you? You okay?” He scans her face, and I wonder what I’m missing.

“I’m fine. Just trying to convince Jake he needs to talk Ava out of having a baby.”

Levi’s eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. “I didn’t know she was even seeing anyone.”

“That’s just it,” Ellie says. “She’s not. She has this idea she’s going to go to a sperm bank and get herself pregnant.”

Levi turns to me and locks his gaze on mine. “Really now?”

“I don’t think she’ll go through with it,” Ellie says. “I’m hoping she’s all talk. She doesn’t realize what a tough road it’s gonna be if she does this alone.”

Sighing, I look away from Levi. I can’t answer the question in his eyes—not here. Hell, not even in private. I shake my head and turn to Ellie. “You keep saying that, but she was raised by a single mom, so surely she has some idea.”

Not that I love the sperm-bank plan. Honestly, I hate it even more than I hate the idea of personally providing her with unlimited semen for her turkey baster. I can’t shake this feeling that if she goes through with her plan to impregnate herself, I might lose her again. And maybe for good this time.

“But it was different with her mom,” Ellie says. “Her dad didn’t leave until she was ten, so he was around all that time before. Then, even when he did leave, he saw them on the weekends and paid child support and alimony. Child support and alimony from a lawyer?” She shakes her head. “That’s not the typical single-mom income. I stand by what I said. She has no idea how hard this will be.”

Levi smirks at me. “Why don’t you just offer to give her a baby?”

My breath leaves me in a rush, and I blink at my brother. I have no desire to embarrass myself by admitting to these two that Ava drunkenly asked for my sperm last night. First of all, it’s none of their business. Second of all, I’m clinging to the shreds of my pride already.

“Ew,” Ellie says, frowning at Levi. “Why would he do that? You’re not helping.”

Levi shrugs. “Seems like a simple solution to me.”

“Ew?” I ask. “Seriously, Ell?”

“You’re friends. Like Levi and me. It’d be weird.” Behind her, Levi blanches, but she misses it because she’s looking me over, a grin slowly tugging on one corner of her mouth. “But I’m sure there’s nothing gross about sleeping with you, Jake.”

“Moving on,” Levi says.

“Will you please talk to her?” Ellie asks me again.

“I’ll try.”

She exhales heavily. “I’ll take it. I need to get on the treadmill. I’m afraid I’m losing my appeal for Colton.”

Levi grunts. “Then Colton’s an idiot.”

Ellie shrugs. “He’d never say that. He doesn’t have a death wish. Anyway, I’ll see you all later.” She walks away, and Levi watches her go like the lovesick puppy he is.

“Don’t do that to yourself,” I say.

“Do what?” Levi asks, as if he has no idea what I mean. Look at us, both pros at pretending we aren’t in love with the women we’re not allowed to have.

I lie back on the bench and wrap my hands around the barbell. “Ellie thinks she and Colton are going to get engaged soon, so if you’re going to tell her how you feel, do it now.”

Don’t be like me and wait until it’s too late.

Levi tears his gaze off Ellie and looks at me. “Tell her what?”

I grunt and un-rack the barbell for my first set.

“What are you going to do about Ava?” he asks, coming to stand behind my head to give me a spot I don’t need. “Does that fuck with you a little? Knowing she’s going to start a family on her own?”

“Nope.”

“Do you know you’re a terrible liar?”

I focus on my breathing as I finish my set, exhaling as I push the bar up, inhaling as I bring it down. When I hit my tenth rep, I rack the bar, sit up, and look at my brother. “It fucks with me,” I admit. “But it doesn’t change a damn thing.”

Ava

My front door groans as it opens and closes, and I hear someone walking through the foyer.

There are only two people in my life who let themselves into my house without knocking—Ellie Courdrey and Jake Jackson. After this morning’s basketful of awkward with the baby thing, I’m grateful to hear the sharp tap of Ellie’s heels instead of the softer thump of Jake’s boots.

Ellie rounds into the kitchen, a wrapped gift in either hand. “Happy birthday to you,” she sings, a grin on her face as she slides the presents onto the kitchen counter.

I push my papers to the side—work will wait—and walk over to hug my friend. “You didn’t need to bring me anything.”

She shakes her head. “I feel like an ass for missing last night. I’m so sorry.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I was already at Jackson Brews with the girls when I got Ellie’s text saying she wouldn’t make it.

She looks away. “No. I don’t.” When she looks back to me, her smile is wobbly. I’m grateful that my brother brought Ellie into my life—I barely knew her before she started dating Colton—but I wish he’d grow up a little. Half the time I want to tell her to break up with him because she deserves better.

“I know my brother isn’t perfect,” I say, studying my friend. “You don’t have to pretend around me.”

“I’m no saint either, but we’re fine. I promise.” She nudges the stack of gifts on the counter. “Open these.”

More presents. There’s no topping Jake’s gift, but I’m all warm and fuzzy about being spoiled by another awesome friend. “You really didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to.”

Grinning, I unwrap the first gift, pulling off the paper and opening the box. Inside, there’s a black teddy made of the softest lace I’ve ever felt. “This is gorgeous.” I try to keep the what the fuck from my voice. The gift is gorgeous, and if I had someone to wear it for, I’d be really excited to show it off. But I don’t, and it’s not exactly the kind of thing you wear to binge-watch Netflix by yourself. Never mind the fact that if all goes according to plan, this won’t fit me in a few months.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she says. “You’re thinking you don’t have a man, so you don’t need this, but I fixed that. Open the next gift.”

“If you got me an inflatable boyfriend, I swear I’m never speaking to you again.”

She chuckles. “I thought about it, but I think we can do better than that.”

I pick up the next gift. The box is light as air, and when I pull the lid off the box, I realize why. There’s nothing inside but a slip of paper. I unfold it and stare in disbelief. “Ellie, you didn’t.”

She beams at me. “I did.”

I’d like to think I’m keeping the cringe off my face, but I’m terrible at hiding my emotions, so more than likely she knows how I feel about her gift. It’s a voucher for Straight Up Casual, a local dating company that hooks up area singles for casual, low-pressure blind dates that have only one requirement: you start your date with a shot of hard liquor to “loosen up.” I always thought the idea was absurd, but since the service introduced Ellie to Colton, I’ve kept that opinion to myself.

“I love that you want to take your life in your own hands,” she says. “I get it. You’re thirty now, and you’re afraid it’s too late for love, but I promise you it’s not. Don’t rush to the sperm bank yet.”

I study the piece of paper, even though it has no new information to offer. “I have different priorities than you do, Ell.” Ellie’s young. She and Colton might get married sometime soon, but Ellie isn’t like me. At twenty-five, babies are likely the furthest thing from her mind. When I was twenty-five, I was engaged. A year later, Harrison and I were newlyweds trying to get pregnant.

Trying and failing.

“Your priority isn’t having a baby,” she says.

“Actually, it is.” Did she miss my whole explanation yesterday morning about how a child is the one thing I’m sure I want from my life? In retrospect, I went about this all wrong. Instead of announcing my plan to my friends, I should have kept the news to myself until the pregnancy test was positive. I don’t even know if I can get pregnant.

“No. It’s not a baby that you want. It’s a family.” She bites her bottom lip. “You can make a family in lots of ways, but I don’t want to see you struggle the way my mom did. It’s hard doing it on your own.”

My mom was single most of my childhood too, but I know what Ellie means. My dad might not have lived at home, but he was still around, and I know our financial situation would have been completely different without him. When I was a kid, Mom was a secretary at a construction company. She didn’t finish her Ph.D. or get her first tenure-track position until I was a junior in high school.

“It can’t hurt to give Straight Up Casual a shot—even if it’s not love, it could be fun. I bought you ten matches.”

My jaw drops. “Ten? Jesus, Ellie, I don’t think there are ten single guys in this town I’d be willing to date.”

“And that attitude is exactly why you’re still single.”

“Okay, for argument’s sake, let’s pretend there are ten guys right here in Jackson Harbor I’d be interested in. I suck at dating,” I say. Ellie knows this. She’s seen the disaster that has been my love life since my divorce.

“That’s why I hired Straight Up Casual to help. They have a way of finding people their matches, and you deserve oodles of fun dates, and if they’re all duds, I’ll personally squirt the spooge up your hoo-ha. You have my word.”

I make a face. “Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll pass.”

She laughs. “You know what I mean. I’ll support you in any way you need.”

“Thank you,” I say softly.

“So the dates?”

“I’ll think about it.” I want to mean it, but I’m already thinking of calling the company and asking about transferring the dates to someone else. Teagan might be interested. She’s always complaining about how hard it is to find decent single guys in Jackson Harbor, but I don’t think she’s given up on love like I have.

“Yay!” Ellie stretches her arms overhead in victory. “Now, let’s go to Ooh La La! so I can buy you a piece of birthday cake.”