Stone Cold Notes: A Rock Star Romance (The Seasons Change)

EZRA JUMPED UP FROM HIS chair at the kitchen table to throw himself at my legs. “Pretty, Mommy!” he shrieked.

I picked up my boy, relieved his face wasn’t covered in something sticky that might have transferred onto my pants. It looked like eggs and toast were on his menu for breakfast this morning. My black trousers and emerald green cardigan were safe for now.

“Why thank you, angel face. You’re rather dashing yourself.” I booped his nose, making him laugh. “Are you, by any chance, a real, live prince?”

He shook his head, sending his curls into a frenzy. “Nope. I’m a painter like Bob.”

I smacked my forehead. “Duh, of course you are.” I wondered if Bob Ross was a hero to any other three-year-olds. Maybe in 1982. “You have the same hairdo as Bob. I should have known.”

Ezra proudly reached up and tugged on his frizzy ringlets. “You like my hair?”

“You know I do. I’m jealous I don’t have curls too.”

He touched my hair so gently and reverently, I could have cried. “You have pretty hair too, Mommy.”

I didn’t know what I’d done right to get a son like this one, but it must have been something huge. He’d been born sweet and had only grown sweeter.

“Oh my gosh, thank you so much. I’m going to tuck that compliment in my pocket and take it out later when I need a little pick-me-up.” I plucked the air and put my hand in my pocket, sending Ezra into another fit of laughter. Fortunately, my sense of humor did well with three-year-olds.

Jenny walked out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a towel. “You do look nice, babe. Did you put in a little extra time with the curling iron?” Her brow went up, and it wasn’t exactly in a kind way. She was more than a little annoyed with me for not coming clean to Callum yet.

“I did. My sort-of boss, Natalie, seems to always have something to say about my appearance. Meanwhile, she looks like she stepped off the set of Mad Men.”

Jenny rolled her eyes. “She sounds like a piece of work, and not someone you should compare yourself to.”

“Believe me, there’s no comparing.”

I set Ezra on his feet and kissed his forehead. He promised to be a good boy at preschool and made me promise to be a good girl at work. Jenny gave me a pointed look at that promise, which I mostly ignored. After bundling up, I grabbed my bag and blew another kiss to Ezra, then I hurried out the door to make a dash for my train.

I stopped short at the idling SUV and the rock star leaning against it. When his eyes locked on mine, he opened the back door and held out a hand.

“Holy granola,” I murmured.

I slowly walked down the rest of the steps to the sidewalk, unsure if this was real.

“Uh…hi?” I croaked.

“Good mornin’. Are you ready to go to work?” he asked.

I exhaled a slow breath, forming a cloud in front of me. “Yeah, I am.” Stepping off the sidewalk, I peered into the empty back seat, then at Callum. “Are you taking me?”

His nostrils flared slightly. “Yeah, Wren. I’m takin’ you to work. Climb in. Your nose is red already.”

My gloved hand flew up to cover my nose. “Well, okay. Thank you, Callum.” I had to step up to get into the SUV, and Callum braced his hand on the small of my back, giving me a little push. He climbed in after me and closed us in the warm space. The driver pulled away from the curb as soon as we were settled.

I turned my head to look at Callum. “Your nose is red too. Your cheeks too.”

He shifted so his back was against his door and he was facing me. Taking my gloved hand in his, he rubbed it on his cheek. “Warm me up then.”

I liked it. I let him continue using my hand, wishing I wasn’t wearing the glove so I could really feel his skin. He was like a cat, rubbing against me, almost purring. He didn’t try to stifle the pleasure he was taking from the simple stroke of leather against his cheek. He watched me with curious, unabashed eyes.

“You really are stalking me, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.” His brow crinkled. “What makes you say that?”

I huffed a laugh. “You showed up at my house this morning and I don’t remember giving you my address.”

His head cocked, and he pressed his cheek against my hand a little harder. “All it took was a little digging. You’re not hard to find, Wren Anderson.”

“Again, with the ominous.”

His mouth pulled into a smirk, and damn did it look good on him. “Do you mind that I picked you up?”

“No,” I answered immediately. It was sort of scary how little I minded him picking me up. “You didn’t go out of your way though, did you?”

“No. I live pretty close by. If you want, I’ll give you my address so you can stalk me back.” He placed my hand back in my lap and took out his phone. “I’d like your phone number, Wren.”

“You didn’t find that in your Google search?”

He only stared at me, waiting, so I rattled off my number. My phone chimed in my purse a moment later. I dug it out and found he’d texted me a picture he’d just snapped of me.

“This isn’t very flattering,” I said.

He studied his screen, two lines forming between his brows. “I don’t know. I like watchin’ you when you don’t notice.”

A laugh burst out of me. “You keep saying creepy things like that and I’m going to believe you mean them. Do I have to check my bushes?”

“You don’t have any bushes, unfortunately. I checked.”

I grinned at his dry delivery. Callum Rose was funny. I was surprised by how comfortable I felt with him while a hot poker swirled in my belly. One should have precluded the other, but that wasn’t the case. Being around him was easy and painful at the same time.

“How’s the recording going?” I asked.

“Yeah, I don’t know. It’s happenin’. That’s all I know.”

“Aren’t you there for it?”

“Kinda. I’m there physically.”

I chewed on the corner of my bottom lip and considered him. I knew what I’d say to my old friend, Callum, but I didn’t quite know how to respond to this man beside me.

His finger drew a straight line down my leg. “Did you like what we did at the party, Wren?”

I jerked my head back at the sudden change in our conversation. “What?”

“Watchin’.” His palm settled on my knee, engulfing it in his big hand. Long fingers curled into the soft flesh on the inside of my knee, pulsing to a beat only he could hear. “Did you like watchin’ the other people?”

I started to tuck my hair behind my ear, but he caught my hand, squeezing it in his. Then he let go and tucked my hair himself, tracing the shell of my ear with the tip of his finger.

The knot in my throat only allowed me to nod.

He dragged that finger along my jaw. “There’s a private club I go to sometimes. You can do anything there, but I go to watch. Will you go with me Saturday night? No Adam. Just you and me.”

“Um, well…” I needed to think. I should have said no. There was no way I could get any closer to him without telling him who I was. I was a wimp and had hoped to avoid this topic until the end of time, but even I knew that was beyond the pale.

“Don’t say no.” He cupped my jaw and tilted my head back. “I’m only askin’ you to watch with me, Wren. That’s all. I’m not askin’ or expecting any more than that.”

“Do you even like me?” I blurted out.

He flinched at my question. “What makes you think I don’t like you?”

Because of things I can’t talk about. You shouldn’t like me. You probably hate your little bird—and that’s me. I’m the girl who ghosted you. I’m the girl who didn’t show up when you needed her. I’m the girl who’s been lying to you for the last couple weeks.

“Well, that’s the impression you gave in the beginning. Like my presence annoyed you and you were angry about me being at that party. I guess I’m a little confused.”

Twin lines formed between his brows. “I’m not good with people. Or words.”

I huffed at his nonanswer. “So, you weren’t annoyed with me? You do like me?”

His icy fingers slid through the side of my hair, and for a moment, he squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m not annoyed by your presence. And I may not be good with people, but I do think I’ve made it very obvious I like you. I’ve been stalkin’ you, for Christ’s sake.”

I burst out laughing. It couldn’t be helped. Callum’s deadpan sense of humor shot me straight in the funny bone. I shouldn’t have been laughing. I was in a giant pile of trouble. But holy granola, I really liked this man. Callum let a slow smile spread across his face, revealing his slightly crooked and perfectly charming white teeth.

“Is that a yes?” he asked.

“It’s not a no. But can we table that for a week or two and maybe get to know one another?” Give me a chance to come clean. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, given my behavior at the party, but I’m not normally like that.”

“I know.” There was more sureness in those two words than I contained in my entire body.

“You do?”

“I do. We’ll table it.” He tipped his chin. “You’ll come over to my place. I’ll feed you dinner. If you say no, I’ll be forced to use the copy of the key I made to your townhouse and drag you out with me.”

I giggled, but he’d uttered his threat so seriously, half of me almost believed him. I must have been a little mental, because the thought of Callum so desperate to be in my presence he’d commit a literal crime to have me, turned me on so suddenly, my thighs clapped together.

“Okay. We can skip the kidnapping. I’ll come willingly.” And I would tell him when I got to his apartment. Even if it hurt and he kicked me right back out, I wouldn’t delay it a second.

“Good girl.” His mouth spread into a grin. “Although, I’d been kinda lookin’ forward to the kidnapping. I think you’d look cute all bound and gagged.”

The flood of heat between my legs practically made me moan. What the hell was with me? A normal reaction to what Callum said would probably involve jumping out of a moving car, not getting turned on. It had to be because of our history, not because I’d been transformed into a kinky monkey.

His grin spread even wider, and a finger skimmed my hot cheek. “You liked that, didn’t you?”

I blinked slowly and let myself smile back at him even though I was confused and embarrassed by my reaction. “I don’t know. Maybe I did. At least the idea of it. I think my aunt would be a little put off if you actually dragged me from our house all tied up.”

His chuckle slid over my skin like warm silk. “I’ll have to remember to make sure there are no witnesses.”

“I wonder if you know how incredibly creepy you sound.”

He lifted a shoulder. “It doesn’t bother me very much. I don’t talk like this with anyone else. Does it bother you?”

“No.” I didn’t hesitate. “It should, but it doesn’t.”

“Who says it should?”

“Well…society, I guess. Threatening to kidnap women if they don’t do what you want is sort of frowned upon.”

With a long exhale, he leaned his head back on the rest and dug his fingers into the sides of his scalp. “Somethin’ you might wanna know about me, Wren. I grew up outside the confines of society with a bunch of criminals. Conformin’ to rules doesn’t make sense to me, but I do it for survival. I don’t like it, and I don’t believe in it.”

I sucked in a little breath. “You don’t believe in laws?”

“I don’t care about laws. I’m not gonna hurt anyone, not unless they ask for it. But when I’m in the privacy of my home, or my car, I’d like to be able to drop pretenses and just be myself. If I say somethin’ that scares you, tell me. But think about it first. Is it scary because you feel it, or is it scary because it’s different than what you grew up believin’ is right?”

I didn’t have an answer, and he didn’t seem to need one. He kept his eyes closed, and a look of contentment relaxed his sharp features. I settled beside him, twisting my fingers together as I tried to predict his reaction to me spilling the truth.

A warm hand landed on my fidgeting fingers. He had turned his head, observing me while I fretted.

“Stop, Wren.”

I swallowed and moistened my lips. “Okay.”

His lips quirked. “Thank you.”

He closed his eyes again but kept his hand on mine. As the minutes passed, tension seeped from my muscles and I relaxed beside him. If I could have tucked this moment into a capsule and hidden it away in my coat pocket, I would have.

But the car pulled up in front of Good Music all too soon and reality set in when I saw Natalie sashay into the building.

“I can’t get out here,” I rushed out, panicked. I tried to take my hand back, but Callum kept it firmly in his grip. “Please. If my coworker sees me with you like this, she won’t approve. And I know you don’t care what people think, but this is my job, and I do care.”

He let go of my hand to cover my mouth. “Quiet.” He leaned forward to speak with the driver. “Take us a block down and let us out there.”

Please, I added mentally.

The car lurched forward, but he kept his hand over my mouth. I wrinkled my brow and flashed him the dirtiest look I could muster with a half-hidden face. He chuckled but he made no move to release me until the SUV pulled up to the curb again, this time near our coffee shop.

Callum slid out first and held a hand out to me. I wanted to protest and not let him help me, but the step down was high, and I wasn’t dumb enough to cut off my nose to spite my face. The trouble was, once he had my hand again, he didn’t let it go.

“This defeats the purpose of us not arriving together in the car. You can’t hold my hand.”

With a sigh that sounded utterly annoyed, he released me. “Is there a rule about bein’ seen with musicians who record in the building?”

“Not that I know of. But it’s a very new job, and I’m trying to make a good impression. I need to be strictly professional while I’m at work.”

“Do you like this job?”

I nodded. “I do. It’s my first big girl job post-college. It’s not a forever kind of thing, but I’m enjoying it.”

“Good.” He stopped at the door, gripping the handle, and let his eyes trail over me from bottom to top. Then he took a toothpick from his pocket and rolled it between his lips. “Good,” he murmured, and this time, I wasn’t so sure if he was talking about me or the job.

Callum left me at my desk, and Natalie didn’t appear to tell me what I was wearing made me look like a homeless hag, so as far as I was concerned, the day was starting off without a hitch.

Three and a half years ago

Little Bird,

I know you’re scared. I am too. But we’re coming to New Jersey this summer on the Swerve Tour and I want you there. I need it. I attached a ticket and a backstage pass for you.

It’s a month away. You have time to think about it. That’s all I’m thinking about. Seeing you. Maybe hearing your voice. Feeling your vibe. Confirming everything I know about you.

Don’t you want that too?

If it’s too much to do more than meet, that’s okay. You can say hi, and I’ll say it back. If you want to leave after that, I won’t stop you. I know I’ll want to, but I won’t.

It’s a step, Little Bird. A step we’re ready to take, even if we’re both petrified.

Tell me what’s on your mind.

Callum

Dear Callum,

I don’t know what to say. I almost wish the concert was tomorrow so I didn’t have a month to obsess. But then, I’m kind of always obsessing about you.

I’m sorry if I shouldn’t say that. I know we always dance around those types of feelings. But it’s true. You have become the center of my universe. What would the earth do without the sun? Excuse my dramatics, but I don’t want to fade away, nor do I want us to fade.

I want to say hi to you. I would kill a man to hear you say my name (I’m talking an evil serial killer, not just an ordinary, innocent man, mind you). I want all the same things you do.

I’m so scared I won’t be what you expect or need.

What if we’re not compatible in person?

What if what makes us special is confined to the notes we send?

Tell me what’s on your mind, Callum.

Yours,

Birdie

Little Bird,

You’re on my mind.

We’re traveling up the coast of California, spending long, sweaty days playing for crowds that are growing each time, and even longer, hot nights cooped up on a tour bus with another band. I’m never alone, and the only thing keeping me sane is knowing I’ll be seeing you.

Keep me sane, Little Bird.

Be the light at the end of this exhausting tunnel.

I don’t want to dismiss your fears, but fuck, Little Bird, do you think I’d still be emailing someone I didn’t connect with on a level I never thought possible? I don’t know what that will mean in person, but I know I will always need you in my life. Nothing will take that need away.

Tell me you’ll come, Little Bird.

Callum

Dear Callum,

You made me cry.

I want to believe you. I know you mean it, but it’s so hard for me to believe someone truly feels that way about me.

I’ll come. I can’t promise more than a ‘hi,’ but I’ll come.

I’m so proud of you. I know it isn’t easy for you to be surrounded by all the noise and people, but you’re doing it, and your band is going somewhere huge. I know it.

But also, tell people to back off and leave you alone if you need that. Stay sane for me.

Tell me where you are and what you see.

Your scared shitless girl,

Birdie