Chapter 44 –
(Gabriella)
I was lying in bed, my arms wrapped around Jamie as I felt his fingers running through my hair, his movements tender and full of love..but even with that, all I felt was numb..
I felt like a part of me deep inside was broken..the realization that my mom had taken her own life...that I wasn't enough to keep her alive..that once she died I was left there for days without her telling a single soul about her plans..
I meant nothing to her. She didn't care what happened to me..
I thought all of these years that she died in her sleep, that it was an accident and she must be watching over me every day..that maybe she was with me and was so proud of who I had become..I tried to be just like her. From what my dad told me..I looked up to her and felt so sad that she was taken from me so soon..but to know she did it willingly.
It hurts beyond belief..
"You need to eat something baby." Jamie whispered, his hand still stroking my hair as I sniffled before burying my face in his chest.
I didn't want to eat. I felt sick to my stomach..I know it's foolish to be so upset. I don't even remember my mom really..so I don't know why this was affecting me so much.
Honestly, I just feel like what Cecelia and Regina said all those years is true...I was just a mistake...a stain on my family's lives..a burden that can't even speak. Maybe my mom didn't even want me to begin with..maybe I really was a mistake.
"Gabriella, look at me." Jamie suddenly stated, making me turn my head before meeting his intense gaze.
"Whatever you are thinking right now..you need to stop. You mean more to me than anything in this world..do you understand me? You have so many people who care about you...please don't doubt that baby." He whispered before reaching down and cupping my cheek carefully, his touch so gentle it was like he thought I was made of glass.
How the heck does he always do that?! I just don't get it..it's like he really does know what I'm thinking.
"Now let's go make some food." He announced while sitting up and pulling me with him. We didn't eat dinner because of everything that happened..so I'm sure he is starving right now.
I peered into my husband's honey-brown orbs, my hand rising as I brushed his dark hair from his forehead so I could get a better look, needing to see all of him at this moment. He was the only person I truly had..the only one that really did care. Maybe Jamie was all I needed..
I clung to him tightly as he carried me to the kitchen before setting me down on the counter.
"You want a grilled cheese sandwich?" He asked, prompting me to nod my head up and down as I mustered a smile.
That's when I heard his phone ring.
He quickly looked down at it and put it back in his pocket just as fast.
I knew it was most likely my dad..he was really upset, but I just wasn't ready to see him yet. He lied to me for so long..I just didn't know what to feel yet..I just knew I wasn't able to talk about it with him. He probably was trying to protect me, but in the end..I think it hurt worse this way..
Jamie reached for the pan before walking towards the refrigerator and grabbing some butter and cheese.
After placing it on the counter, he grabbed the bread and set it close to the stove.
His eyes darted towards me every few seconds before he finally stepped towards me, his hands sliding up my thighs, parting them as he stepped closer.
"You are going to get through this. We will together..you are the strongest person I have ever met Gabriella." He whispered before bringing his hand to the base of my neck, his eyes peering down at me as I swallowed hard and nodded once.
Then he pressed his mouth to mine, the kiss deep and emotional as he tilted my head back causing it to become even more intense.
I parted my lips with a moan, letting his tongue delve inside of me as he stroked and explored me hungrily.
"We will get through all of this." He gasped, his words so convincing that I actually believed them.
I nodded my head eagerly, feeling his hand gripping my face as he tilted my head back and stared into me.
"I promise you Gabriella, I will make them pay for everything they have done to you." Jamie declared, making my eyes widen as he crashed forward, kissing me once more.
When he finally pulled away, I was left gasping for air, feeling my head was now all fuzzy as I watched him stride over to the stove.
His broad back made my throat dry as I let my eyes wander up and down his muscular figure..I felt so safe with him..not only physically, but mentally too..
I knew Jamie meant what he said, I knew he would truly make them pay, and at this point..I welcomed it.
I hopped off the counter, making Jamie glance back as I took the place next to him and began helping.
Jamie watched me carefully, relief seeming to fill his eyes as I leaned into him slightly before spreading the butter onto a piece of bread.
There is one thing that I hadn't told Jamie yet though..it was the person who sent me the article.
It was someone that I was afraid would upset Jamie..someone that seems to dislike me a lot and I have no idea why..
The number wasn't registered in my phone, but for some reason, my phone identified it. That might be a feature of the phone but I definitely didn't have his number.
So when I saw Nolan Rayfield, I was surprised..
I bit my lip anxiously as I finished the last piece of bread and watched Jamie add the cheese before placing it in the frying pan.
I know this might not be the best time to show him, but I didn't want to have any secrets between us..that's what we always said...plus I got upset with him earlier for that, so I didn't want to be a hypocrite..
So I walked over to the table and grabbed my phone, then I began typing.
"Jamie, I want you to know who sent me the article." I wrote out, making Jamie's eyes flash before nodding once.
Then I took a deep breath while pulling up the text.
I flashed it to him, watching as those brown eyes flicked across the screen..and I knew the moment he saw it..the way his jaw ticked let me know.
"Thank you for telling me princess. I will handle it okay?" He stated more calmly than I expected as I nodded once and put my phone away.
I studied him for a few more minutes, watching for any sign of anger, and was taken aback when he just grinned at me before he bent over and kissed me on the cheek.
Maybe it wouldn't be too bad for them. I know Nolan suffers from addiction issues..so maybe it was just poor judgment on his part..
I'm sure Jamie and him will talk it over smoothly.
They have been friends for years after all.
"Why don't you go find what to watch while I finish this up? We can eat and watch a movie." He said with a smile before bending down and kissing me on the forehead. Surprisingly..I feel a little better already..just having Jamie with me has done wonders..I think we will get through this..together.