Speak To Me

***TRIGGER WARNING for scenes that might be upsetting to some involving talk of unwanted pregnancy*** (Tilly)

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, the sight of my sister throwing me completely off guard.. for some stupid reason, I didn't even think she would be here..of course she would be here...they are her parents after all. "Tilly.." She said my name again, her voice sounding so foreign to me now as I began to study her face carefully.

Everyone always commented on the fact that we looked so much alike..and yet, I thought it was just because she was my sister..but in reality, it's because she was the one who birthed me..she was my mom..

"Hey, I'm right here..just take a deep breath. We are here to see your dad remember?" Rylan whispered beside me, his hand gripping me tightly as I nodded once.

"Who is this?" Shaina suddenly asked, her tone surprisingly rude.

I felt my brow furrow as I pushed all those emotions down, not wanting to make a scene as I opened my mouth to speak.

"This is Rylan, he's my..my.." Crap..what is he exactly? Friend? Boyfriend? Hero?! All of the above really..

"I'm her boyfriend." Rylan explained for me, and I swear my heart practically leaped out of my chest.

"Mija, you're finally here." My mom came running up, her eyes all red and puffy as she quickly wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight.

"Papa has been asking for you." She whispered, causing my heart to clench as I just stood there, not exactly sure what to do.

"Come, let's go to him." She added, reaching down for my hand as she suddenly seemed to notice it was attached to someone else.

I swear I could see the shock flash through her before anger quickly replaced it.

"He came with you..I thought he would just drop you off outside." She stated firmly in Spanish.

"No Ma..no..I asked him to come with." I caught myself. "I want to see papa now."

I quickly stepped out of my grandmother's grasp before tugging on Rylan's hand and bringing him towards the hallway my Papa should be. I don't know why...but for some reason I blame my Grandmother for keeping this from me more than my papa..he was the one who finally revealed the truth.

Who knows how long Shaina and her would've kept this a secret from me.

"Who is the boy Mama? Since when has Tilly had a boyfriend." I heard Shaina whisper behind me.

"It is only a phase, she will get over it soon enough." My Grandmother responded.

I balled my free hand into a fist, my jaw clenching in frustration as I began to pick up speed.

How could they be gossiping about me when Papa is lying in a hospital bed right now?

"Here, it's this one, Angel." Rylan informed me, and I swear, the moment I stepped foot in that room and saw my Papa lying there..nothing else mattered.

"Papa." I choked out, seeing this man that raised me lying there in the bed connected to all sorts of tube's and machines..it broke my heart.

I rushed over and carefully place my torso over his, my hands caressing his arms and chest gently as I let the tears fall.

"Papa, I'm so sorry..please forgive me for not coming sooner." I sobbed, seeing his hand twitch as his arm slowly rose.

"My Tilly, is it really you?" He choked out, making me nod my head yes as I struggled to speak.

"It's me..I'm here.." I cried, kissing my Papa all over his cheeks and face as tears fell from his eyes.

It wasn't the first time I had visited Papa in the hospital..but this..this seemed so different..it was like he had aged ten years over night.

"I'm so happy you are here my princesa, you are well aren't you? I have been so worried." He added, the fact that he couldn't see me making him seem to worry so much more.

"I'm fine Papa, everything is fine. Please, don't push yourself you need to rest." I added hastily, feeling someone suddenly grip my waist.

"Sit here, I will go find the doctor so we can see what's going on." Rylan offered before sitting me down in a chair as I nodded my head yes.

I couldn't help but feel grateful that he is here. I don't know how I would handle this without him.

"Who was that Mija?" Papa asked, making me stiffen slightly as Rylan left, closing the door gently.

I reached over, gripping my Papa's hand before scooting closer to the bed.

"He is the friend who has been helping me Papa, but you don't have to worry about it right now." I said, hoping he would just drop it..that's the last thing he needs to worry about. "Has he been treating you nicely?"

"Of course, he has been nothing but a gentleman, just like you Papa."

I added, seeing my Papa let out a relieved sigh.

"Mija, I know now isn't the time..but you should speak with her. She has been worried sick about you all week..and Shaina, she will come around..once you hear the story you will under..." "Papa, please..I just, I want to spend time with you and speak with the doctor first."

I interrupted him, feeling guilty for not letting him finish but I just didn't want to focus on that right now.

"Just rest your eyes, I won't be going anywhere okay? I promise." I assured him as he nodded his head once and seemed to go right to sleep.

I sat there staring at him for a few moments when I suddenly heard the door open, expecting to see Rylan. But of course it was the last person I wanted to see..well, one of the two last people I wanted to see.

"You finally got him to sleep.." My Grandmother whispered, making me nod once as I just turned my gaze back to the bed.

It was hard not to still think of her as my mom..and truthfully, I didn't know if I will ever be able to grasp this whole situation entirely..but I'm trying..

"Mija.."

"Please..just don't..I don't want to do this here." I said lowly, already feeling exhausted by all of this.

"Besides, Rylan should be back any second."

"I told him he didn't have to stay." She informed me, causing my eyes to widen as she finally had my attention now.

"You what? What gives you the right?" I asked angrily, trying to keep my voice lowered.

"He isn't family Tilly, and when he has had all of his fun and gets his fill of you..then he won't even matter. You should come home. That is where you belong..not shacking up with some..some rich boy who hasn't worked a day in his life." She rushed out, her words practically slapping me across the face as I looked at her in shock.

"Is that how you see me? Is that all I'm worth? He couldn't really like me for me Mama?" I whispered, feeling hurt.

"Tilly.." She said my name sadly before moving towards me, her hand extending out as she reached for my face, cupping it gently.

"Men like him..they aren't capable of loving women like us. He will only use you and once he sucks out every last piece of that special light you hold inside of you...then he will dump you like trash." She spoke with such sadness, her words causing my heart to ache as I fluttered my eyes closed. "Rylan, he is different Mama.."

"That is what Shaina said too once..and then that man chewed her up and spit her out..leaving her pregnant and alone. He wanted her to get rid of you bebé..after he used her body and lied to her."

I let out a gasp, my hand flying over my mouth as I looked at my mother.

"We didn't know, Papa and I..we didn't see the signs..and after she tried to..well..she thought if she could do it herself, the boy would want her again..we begged her to keep you...we promised she wouldn't have to do a single thing..that you would never have to know..I'm sorry Mija, I didn't want to lie..it was the only way to convince her to keep you...it was the only way." She sobbed out, falling to her knees as she buried her head in my lap.

I watched as her body trembled and shook, the words she told me piercing through my heart like a dagger as I couldn't believe them.

Then I started to feel nothing..the realization that I was truly a mistake filled my mind when I broke down into sobs too..

"It's okay, it will all be okay." I whispered over and over and over again..hoping to god that it really would be.

Then the door opened once more, causing my eyes to dart over as I saw Rylan standing there with two cups of coffee in his hands..

He didn't leave..why didn't he leave?

"Is everything okay?" He rushed over, my mom's sobs drowning him out as I just stared up at Rylan..

Is what she said true? Will Rylan use me too? What could he see in me that he couldn't get from other women way more prettier and richer than me? What makes me so special?

"We just..we need a moment..you can go back to your place if you like..I think I should just be alone with them for now." I whispered, wishing I was saying the opposite..wanting Rylan to hold me and tell me everyhring was fine..that he would never leave me..but I honestly couldn't say if that was true..

"Tilly, I can respect you wanting time alone with them. But I'm not going to leave okay? When you need me I will be right outside." Rylan stated firmly, placing a soft kiss to my forehead before looking me in the eyes intently.

I was almost like he was trying to tell me something and I just couldn't decipher what it was. I watched him slip through that door, those green eyes burning into my mind as I broke down into sobs once more.. Rylan isn't like other guys..he can't be..right?