Sparkling Hope: Chapter 31
I fucked up.
The prize for the biggest asshole went to me with total points. But it was for the best. I can’t and won’t give her what she deserves because I don’t think I would do her justice, and this girl deserves so much.
The sex was more than just the satisfaction. The sex, the whole night, was so much more. I felt so much.
That scared me because how do I deal with my feelings for Luna?
I never had feelings like that, and I was scared of being loved because I never felt that kind of love again after my Mom left years ago.
Luna was not like any other girl I had fucked before.
But she must not become more, but something inside me said that this had already happened when she first entered this house, and I recognized her.
I can’t break my rules for her, even if I thought that yesterday.
Then suddenly, feelings appeared, a lump in my stomach while I watched her as she fell asleep next to me after the shower.
She made me feel so many things that I thought didn’t exist.
It scared me because I didn’t know when or how, but I fell for her.
But how did I deal with it?
When a girl was flirting with another guy, I wanted to get her into bed all the more. Like a triumph that I could convince her of me, but when I saw Luna with that Tyler guy, I felt nothing but jealousy closing around my heart.
‘What did you do?’ Carter came down the stairs, pouring himself a glass of orange juice that Luna had grabbed from the fridge.
‘Nothing?’
‘Stop playing the disinterested wanker. Wake up, Weston. She likes you.’
‘Some do, and why should I treat her any differently than the dozen girls before her.’
‘Pfff, dozen,’ he snorted, rolling his eyes. ‘Listen to you, Weston. What do you think about letting your feelings be and not hiding them for once? Can’t you see how her face lights up when she sees you, and the same thing happens to you?’
I’ve never felt the need to punch Carter in his perfect face, but there was a first time for everything.
‘What do you say you just shut the fuck up?’ I asked wryly, getting up from the barstool to throw away the rest of the already soggy cereal.
I didn’t feel like eating anymore, and certainly not after this conversation with him. I pressed a button on the coffee maker, which filled hot milk into a cup with cocoa powder already covering the bottom.
Carter glanced toward the stairs as Luna ran them down, but I forced myself to focus on the coffee maker.
There was nothing more boring than watching a coffee maker pour hot milk into a cup, but I didn’t want to and couldn’t look Luna in the eyes after I hurt her.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her walk past us and head toward the front door with a bag in her hand.
No one said anything. Not even Carter.
It continued to be quiet until we heard the loud bang of the front door. ‘Today you woke up in the same bed while you had your hand wrapped around her, and now you’re being such an ass to Luna?’ he whispered.
How did he know that?
‘How?’ I didn’t even get to finish my sentence before he continued talking.
‘When I first knocked, I opened the door a crack to see if anyone was even there,’ Carter explained how he knew I had my arm wrapped around her.
‘I didn’t have my arm around her waist.’
I did.
‘Since when do you care how I am with Luna? You don’t care about anything. Deal with your fucking problems.’
The need to be left alone was growing by the second, and I would love to kick him out now and stay in my room all day. I started collecting the red cups in a trash bag, which still stood everywhere from yesterday’ party.
‘Because you are my best buddy, and I like Luna. You are my only family with the others,’ he countered.
‘You have a free ride with Luna. I don’t want anything from her. Do what you want.’
‘Fuck you, Weston. You’re such a blind motherfucker.’
The second time I got to listen to that today, and I was sure I’d get to listen to it a few more times. ‘Fuck off, Carter. I think it’s better if you just leave now and leave me alone with your fucking bullshit.’
Carter shook his head and walked toward the sliding door that led to the garden. ‘You know your reaction confirms I’m right?’
I turned to him as he had already slid open the sliding door and took the first step onto the paved patio.
‘About what?’
‘You like Luna more than you’d like to admit.’
Bullshit.