SINGED

Nothing that comes from Cyndr’s mouth is true. Nothing. He told me I was his beloved child, but I was deformed. I believed him. He told me I had been cursed by his enemies, and I offered to seek revenge for us both. In the end, he gave me what I thought I most wanted by forcing my transformation prematurely. But I was not his child; I was not deformed. His enemies were not mine except by my choice, and in the end, it was he who wanted me to change so that he could control me to commit his atrocities.

Why do you look at me with those unreadable eyes? I see it now. I’m not asleep anymore. You have waited so patiently. Is it to finally sentence me with your just punishment? If so I will not resist. I welcome it. Surely it is death. That would be just.

I cannot even bear to remember how I assaulted your fair forest of Glendin Weald, burning your enchanted trees, killing your people and your allies. All for a lie, his lie.

Yet you smile at me, waiting for me to finish. I cannot begin to fathom the pain I have caused you. I can feel the balm of your enchantments. They are pure and guileless, lifting away the cruel curses of the Dragonking. I am at peace here, except when I remember what I did. I was in pain, confused, searching for solace. I thought I knew what it was to be a dragon.

Those were Cyndr’s lies, the earliest ones, as I lay innocent and dreaming. Why did I let others define me? I assumed these were truths rather than deciding who I was for myself.

Alas there is no excuse. Even though I was misled, in the end, it was I who decided how I would act. It was I who chose to kill and hate for him. It was I who chose to despair, to reject love and hope.

For, now that the curses have been lifted, I realize that it was only love and friendship that have held any value for me. Even though the ones I loved were taken from me, my love for them goes on and on, like the sweet sorrowful song of the water drakes in the mist.

You will not be harmed, you seem to say. You speak directly to my heart. Softly you touch my monstrous face and hot dragon tears stream down my cheeks.

Don’t taunt me. Yet I am ashamed to even suggest you would lie to me. It is not even a possibility. You say it because it is true. Lies are a waste of time. They have no purpose or value. I see that now, not that I can promise to be like you yet, but I want to be. I pray that someday I can be like you. My heart swells at the thought. More tears. You wipe them away with the softest silk. Why would you waste time on me? How long have you administered to me? Many long harvests I suspect.

It was my younger brother that led me here. Did he know what he was doing? I tried to destroy him, and in turn, he saved me. Did his sense of purpose, so clear compared to my own, have anything to do with his swift transformation to dragon form? I suspect it did. He knew who he was. It does not matter anymore though. I begrudge him nothing. He is my elder now, maybe he always was.

He led me across the night sky, over the battlefield right into your arms. Why did you subdue me instead of destroying me? I attacked your forest and your people. Blindly, I killed them! They were only defending their homes. I cannot even begin to… I can’t… I am so sorry. How can I ever make it up to? Please, you must end this torment. Kill me. It is just!

Here I sleep by a shining silver pool, as my heart is healed, and my soul is mended. All I can say is thank you, thank you. I could never repay you enough but please let me try. Please let me stay here and I will do whatever you ask.

You nod. Mysterious eyes gently holding my own, faint smile encouraging me and you cock your head to the side. Of course, it is a question.

“Yes,” I say, “for the first time ever. You have rekindled me. I am reborn.”

You gesture, and I turn to see a hawk with a dark mask about piercing yellow eyes, alight in a glossy black tree with tiny white flowers that glow like stars. I gasp, and she is changing, stepping down out of its branches, clad in a feathered gown. Dark hair falls in waves to her waist and she regards me with dark shining eyes.

“Did I not say I would return?” Miranda asks with a radiant smile.

I want to say that I thought she was a dream, but I cannot speak. I am laughing and crying, so full of emotions. I know now they are not human or dragon alone. They are mine. All of them.

I cock my head to the side, smiling, heedless of the tears. She nods in answer to my question, embracing me.

“Yes,” she says. “Yes, forever and always, until the end of time.”