Sincerely

It felt nice to sleep next to Lev, the bed was warm and comfortable, unlike Elias’ couch. I didn’t mind Lev’s shifting and sleep-talking waking me up either. It made me feel not alone and safe.

I was glad he had believed me, but I didn’t know what to do now. I knew we weren’t safe if we stayed here. No one knew I was an android but why stick around and let them find out? We had to leave here. There were things I would and wouldn’t miss about Seattle. I would miss Carlos, and the streets I’d come to call home, but I wouldn’t miss Huxley or the reminders being here brought me about what he’d done.

I felt bad leaving Elias behind, he’d helped me. But I didn’t know if he’d want to come, he seemed pretty mad about losing Alessio. I’d never even met the android, it surprised me that was he helping others, I guess I had no clue what he was doing when I was gone. I, Bailey and Mavis were lucky, Alessio wasn’t.

I wanted to help Elias but I didn’t know if I could. Alessio was gone. Usually, when people are gone they can’t be brought back, like Carlos.

I looked at Lev, I hoped I never lost him, I doubted I could go on without him now that I had been honest about how I felt.

He woke up with a sputter and caught me watching him.

“You look worried,” he commented.

“I am, about Elias. He was pretty broken up when I left him. He lost the android he loved, Alessio. To the hate,” I murmured. “I want to help him but I don’t know how.”

“I have an idea but it requires you to stay here, I don’t want to risk your safety, even if no one in the SPD would recognize you,” Lev comments.

“What about you?” I inquire.

“Since they don’t know you’re an android, I should be good. This will be the last time I’m going back, I need to leave a parting clue for the next detective who gets handed Carlos’ case if we’re leaving,” he reasons.

“Okay, be careful,” I still warn him.

He gives me a small smile, “Of course.”

I lean in and kiss him.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever not be able to get used to that,” he murmurs against my lips.

I lean lower and kiss his Adam’s apple.

“I hope you don’t,” I comment.

He smiles at me again.

“I should go, the sooner I do this and leave the better, pack the vital things while I’m gone so we just have to load it when I get back,” he replies.

“What are vital things exactly?” I ask.

“Clothes, money, things I would need to live, I’ll help you start,” he explains.

He rolls over and sits up and his warmth goes with him, I almost want to pull him back into the bed. I get up and follow him, though. He brings me to his closet where he pulls out a suitcase, he points out the clothes he wants and then takes me into the bathroom where he picks up the toothpaste and toothbrush and soaps, before taking me out into the main house. He seems to stop and look around at his living space, as if he’s just realized he’ll be leaving it behind, too.

He walks over to a shelf full of photos and picks one up. It’s of him and an older lady at what looks like a graduation.

“I’m going to miss my family,” he whispers.

“You don’t have to come with me,” I echo quietly.

“I’m just going to worry about you if I don’t,” he states.

He continues to pick through the photos, taking a dozen back to the bedroom to put in the suitcase.

“You can do the rest yourself, it should be easy. I’ll be back in about an hour, okay?” he finishes going over to his closet to get dressed. I watch him change and I look down at myself seeing some of the missing pieces that he has. As much as I felt for him, could I make him truly happy at the end of the day?

“Deckard?” he called as he finished buttoning up his shirt.

“Okay,” I finally answered.

He came over to me and kissed me one last time before leaving the bedroom again to go put his coat and shoes on.

His warmth lingered on my lips again. He was warm, I wasn’t. I was plastic, metal and cold. I started packing his clothes, once they were done I started looking around his apartment, I ended up back in front of the shelf with photos. I felt bad making him leave behind parts of his life. Mainly, memories and things that mean things to him. I picked up all of the photos and put as many as I could fit into the suitcase.

I looked around more for mementos and things that looked meaningful and put them into his suitcase, and when I ran out of space in his, I filled mine, if I could have brought all of his old life with us, I would have, but it was impossible to take that much with us.

He would probably complain it would weigh us down if we had to leave anywhere in a hurry, but I knew he would miss his home and family, as much as I would, if I could make it easier by bringing some of it with us, I would.

I placed everything by the door before flipping on the TV, the noon news was playing.

“Alcuin Livingston has fled the state, as he is wanted for abetting a deviant, and having romantic relations with the same deviant, if you see him, you are to report it to your local police department immediately,” the new castor speaks flashing a photo of Alcuin and Bailey on the screen.

I signed, would they treat an abuse victim fleeing from their abuser the same way? That’s what Bailey was, he was scared of his owner so he fled, they even knew that and they were using it against them now. It would be worse for me, who would believe me over Huxley, other than Lev?

We could shout it from the rooftops and give all the circumstantial we wanted and they still wouldn’t listen, because a deviant is a deviant. Why didn’t he say anything then? Being scared wasn’t enough when you weren’t seen as a real person, it implicated you.

Elias’ photo was shown, too. I hoped Lev could find him before he left, it wouldn’t be long before he had to get out of dodge, too.

I didn’t even know where we were going, Lev had to have an idea or he probably would have consulted me about it. I didn’t even know where we should go.

I flipped the TV off and went over to Lev's suitcase where a photo album had been pushed inside, one of my attempts to take home with us. I opened it out of curiosity. Inside were pictures of him when he was younger. About ten or so with who I assumed were his parents.

It made me sad, that I didn’t have a childhood, I guess in a way I did with Carlos and his books and stories he used to have me read.

I flipped through the book to photos of a lighthouse surrounded by wildflowers. Some of the photos Lev and his family were in, some were just of the lighthouse. It was beautiful, one day I hoped I got to see that lighthouse and its beauty.

I didn’t want to stop looking at the photos or how happy Lev looked in them. I didn’t understand why Lev was sacrificing so much for me. He was leaving his whole life behind. Maybe I could ask him about it when he got back.

I set the photo album back in the suitcase and started waiting for him to return.