SIN-BIN: Chapter 49
COLTON
I lock my car and head to the dorm. I have been putting off my talk with Ava for two days, but now I’ve got to tell her I’m signing a contract with the Thunders. Honestly, I have no idea how she’s going to react. I should have told her about the call I got from my agent when she came to see me after practice. Instead, I decided to keep things to myself because I didn’t want to steal her spotlight after she told me about her plans for her bookstagram. I wanted it to be all about her. I thought I would have time to tell her later. Like a stupid idiot.
Just as I get to the door, someone pushes it open from the inside. I take a step back and lock eyes with Ava’s roommate. Jordan’s jaw drops, and she gapes at me in surprise. Then her lips quickly stretch into a leery smile.
“If you’re looking for your girlfriend, she already left. Her class started ten minutes ago.”
“Dammit.” I curse under my breath, wheeling around to go back to my car.
“Colton?” I look at her over my shoulder. “I feel so sorry for you. When someone tries to ruin your future, it must be a hard pill to swallow.”
I roll my eyes and resume my walk. This girl is honestly crazy.
“Colt?”
“What do you want?” I snap and whip around.
“You shouldn’t have wasted your time on her. She’s trouble.”
“You are a waste of my time. Ava is everything. Get lost.”
“She’s pregnant.”
“What?” I clench my jaw hard, waves of nausea washing over me. I feel like I’m going to puke; my fucking head is spinning. It’s mayhem in my chest.
“She ran out in a hurry today, and she didn’t notice one of her tests fell on the floor.” This girl takes her phone out of her pocket, unlocks it, and then shoves it in my face. I gawk at the picture of the pregnancy test. There are two stripes, and my skin becomes sweaty. It’s not good. “I’m very sorry, Colton. I hope you can figure this out. She is putting your whole career at risk.”
I take a deep breath and drag my eyes to her face. She’s such a snake. Goddamn it, I should have insisted on Ava moving in with me.
I push Jordan’s phone back into her hand and take a step forward, hovering over her like a damn wall. I don’t have time to deal with this shit, but I want to make myself incredibly clear: “If you tell anyone what you just told me, or if you show this picture to anyone, even your fucking mom, I will ruin you. I will make sure no guy at this school even looks your way, because they will know what a fucking bitch you are. Do you understand me, Jordan?”
She shifts, tucking her hair behind her ears and avoiding looking at me. “I thought you should know.”
“That’s not what I asked,” I growl, taking a step forward. “Do you understand me, Jordan?”
“Yes,” she mumbles. Then she turns around and rushes back into her room.
I close my eyes for a second, heave a sigh, and stride back to my car. I better hurry up, because now I need to do a quick detour before I go to the airport. I will deal with all this when I’m back. I don’t have the heart to do it now. Showing up to my contract negotiations looking like a trainwreck is not something I can allow to happen.
“Hey,” I greet my father, stepping into his office. I called him as soon as I was in my car and asked if I could visit him before my flight. To my surprise, he instantly agreed.
“Hey, Colton.” He gestures to the chair in front of his desk. “Have a seat.”
I thought I would be nervous, considering what I have to talk to him about, but I’m not anymore. I want answers to my questions, and a little promise from his side. I need to secure my future.
I lower myself into the chair and take a deep breath, focusing on my father’s face. I don’t want to pretend I don’t know about Mom and her affair. And I don’t have much time, as I need to be at the airport in two hours.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me about Mom and Leo? We had so many arguments. We said hurtful things to one another to make each other suffer. Why did you never mention it?”
“You love your mom. She’s everything to you. Avery failed me as a wife, but she never failed you as a mother. What’s the point of ruining her image in your eyes?” he says calmly. “I will never understand parents who attempt to turn their children against the other parent. It’s the marriage that didn’t last. Parenting is forever.”
“Unless you’re an asshole who abandons their kids for a new wife or husband,” I say, and he chuckles.
“True, but that’s not the case with Avery and me. She’s a great mom to you, and I couldn’t ask for a better co-parent. She was always there for you—unlike me—and she’s the reason you are who you are. She raised you to be a good man, and I think she handled her job like a real pro.”
Ava’s image pops into my head, but I banish it from my thoughts for now. I’m acting like a coward, but I can’t afford to get distracted. Not right now, when my future is at a turning point. I will go to San Jose, sign the contract, and then I will come back and we’ll talk. In that order. Hockey is my life, and I’ve dreamt about being a pro since the moment I fell in love with the game. It’s everything I want, and it will give me independence. I will be able to provide Ava with everything she needs, without asking my father for any favors. I will be able to do it on my own, and that’s a very big deal to me.
I exhale, leaning back in the chair. “Did you fuck Helen as revenge? To make Mom pay for her mistake?”
“Yes.”
“But why did you let her stay in your life?”
“Getting Helen pregnant wasn’t my intention, but it happened. Because of her health issues, she decided to continue her pregnancy without talking to me first. She told me the baby was mine when she was three months along.”
“That’s not what I asked,” I tell him, and he narrows his eyes. Yes, Dad, I want answers.
“Your mom never got rid of Leo, even if I asked her to do so. She continued to spend time with him, staying at the gallery late at night. Instead of trying to mend what was broken, she made the crack bigger. I’m not good at dealing with disrespect.” I snort hearing that. I have way more in common with my father than I think. “And then there was you and your attempts to fuck my secretary. I had no idea you knew about the pregnancy. With how she was and how much she was flirting with you, I thought she might try to pin it on you. Let you have your way with her, only to tell you she got pregnant. I didn’t want that for you, and I played right into her hand.”
“Meaning?”
“Helen was flirting with you because she wanted to make me jealous. She let you fuck her because she knew I was keeping an eye on her.” He shrugs. “I was afraid Helen would continue to use you, so I made myself believe I wasn’t doing anything wrong, just making sure your future was secure.”
I’m fucking torn right now. My head hurts. I understand him and don’t understand him at the same time. He should have told Mom that if she wanted to save their marriage, then Leo needed to go. He needed to talk to me and Mom to let us know what his mistake caused. Everything could have been avoided with an honest conversation.
“Dad, I—”
“I’m sorry for acting like a dick when you found out Helen was pregnant. I despise myself for how I treated you all these years, for how cold I was with Avery. She would have never cheated on me if I was present in our marriage. I was trying to buy her love with expensive gifts, but not even a fucking diamond can fill the void when you’re lonely.” He looks away for a moment, and then he stares back at me. “I’m a successful businessman. Our family does well financially. But I’m a total failure as a husband and a father. The guilt I felt after Avery’s state worsened made me distance myself from Helen’s daughter. I just couldn’t bring myself to continue helping her.”
I’m silent, examining him with an open mind. His reasons to stop helping Helen and Chloe are the same as mine. It makes me realize how many things I still don’t know about him. I can hold on to my anger. To my hate. But I don’t want to. If I can forgive Mom’s mistake, I can try to do the same for my father. I want to try, because if I don’t, I will always feel like I missed the opportunity. I’m ready to give him a second chance, but only if he promises me a few things.
“You have another chance to be a good father, you know,” I point out. “Chloe doesn’t deserve what you put her through because of your mistake.”
“Everything I have is yours.”
“I know that, but it’s not always about money. Like you said, it’s about attention. About being there for your child when they need you. That’s what Mom does for me. We can’t go back in time and change how you acted, but you can change how you act with your daughter. Give your little girl a chance, and you will love her,” I say, and he finally smiles.
“Okay. I will try.” He eyes me with curiosity.
“If something goes wrong and I don’t sign the contract, if I don’t find another team, can I work for you after graduation?”
The look on my father’s face is stunned. He didn’t expect this at all. Neither did I, but things have changed.
“Of course.” His brows pinch together. He’s probably expecting more from me, but I keep quiet. I’ll tell him more after I talk with Ava. Right now, I’m just trying to secure my options. If she’s really pregnant and we’re going to keep the baby, I will need a job. As simple as that. “I’m sure everything is going to be fine with the Thunders. Your agent sounded incredibly certain about your future with the team when he called me.”
“I hope so.” Coming here, I expected answers, but I got way more than that. Way more than I even imagined. My mom and dad both made mistakes, and our family was never perfect, but I think this is the first time in years I have both of my parents in my life.
Landing at San Jose International, I literally feel as if I got caught in a hurricane. My agent meets me at the airport and takes me to the hotel he booked for us. Before I go to my room, we talk nonstop about the contract, about things the Thunders might ask of me, about things I want in writing. My head is in such a state I’m barely able to form words by the time he bids me goodbye. We agree to meet tomorrow at eleven a.m. at the reception desk and part ways. Once I’m in my room, I only have time to set my alarm clock before I fall asleep.