SILENCE

Dr. Hamoonga looked at his wife with shock registered on his face, he had never worked with her and he had always prayed that he never finds himself in such a situation but now there was no turning back.

As the door shut, Wangu took a deep breath and smiled at Elisha, she knew that he had questions and she had to handle the situation as mature and professional as possible.

‘Ms. I don’t know who you are or who sent you but I need you to tell me where my wife and kids are.’ He demanded

She went over the window and giving him her back, she looked through it for a while before turning around to face him again.

‘Your wife is not in a very stable condition right now and I will need you to be strong for her now more than ever.’ She said

She asked him if he was able to walk on his own and he said he could though he was feeling a little weak so she got a wheel chair and with the help of a nurse; they put him there.

She wheeled him past most of the wards and they got to a place separate from the wards, Wangu took a deep breath before asking the person they found at the door to open.

Elisha was busy looking around not aware of the place they had gone to, it was one big cold room with shelves on the sides and after a while did he realize that it was the morgue.

‘Ms. what are we doing here?’ he asked tears glistering in his eyes

‘Sir I need you to be strong now more than ever.’ She said her own voice almost breaking

This place reminded her of her own child she had lost two years back.

The morgue attendant opened two shelves and left them open, Wangu wheeled Elisha forward. He couldn’t speak as he looked at his babies, their faces looking as beautiful as they had always been.

As a man he was expected to be strong, he was expected to have it all together but how could he possibly have it under control when he had caused all this?

‘My babies.’ He finally managed to say in a trembling voice

Wangu looked away her own tears betraying her, this was as hard as it could get.

Elisha slowly stood up from the wheel chair and moved closer to the shelves.

He took a deep breath and looked up, as if willing the tears back, but they fell instead. He struggled with the wheelchair as he tried to move forward, besieged by death. The death of his two children. Using both hands he touched their faces, they were as cold as ice but he didn’t mind. Death is cold, cruel, it’s inhuman. Death has no life. It is death. How was he going to tell his wife? Then it hit him, Larna probably didn’t know about the kids and he was the one to break the news to her. He bent over and held them tightly as he broke down, he cried so hard he was surprised that one could have that much amount of grief in them. It came flooding out, choking him, and squashing his heart. He cried like Sarah had cried the first time she fell down; like Saidi had cried the first time he was bullied in school, in that wheelchair he was nothing but a bereaved father who had just lost his bundle of joy, a father who had just lost his kids and with each tear drop one could tell just how much he had loved them.

When he couldn’t cry anymore and his own body was getting cold, Wangu helped him back to the wheel chair. After wheeling him out of the morgue, she stopped half way and knelt before him.

‘If I say I know how you are feeling I would be lying, but I have lost a child before so maybe I know an inch of what you must be going through.’ She paused, her own tears falling.

‘But all I will ask from you is to be strong now, your wife needs you.’

‘Larna will never forgive me for this.’

Wangu looked at him trying to figure out what he meant.

‘I should have never asked someone to look into her past, I should have asked her to drive, I shouldn’t have looked away from the road.’ He said now crying some more

Wangu just looked at him without a word, this was a very tough situation and whatever she was going to say would leave an everlasting impact on him and she didn’t want to leave one that would break him even more.

‘Would you like to see her today or maybe I give you time to put yourself together?’

‘Take me back to the ward.’ He managed to say

She wheeled him back and helped him back to the bed.

‘Can you leave me alone?’

‘I am sorry but I can’t, just pretend I am not here.’ She said seating just a distance away from where the bed was.

She picked up a novel and focused her eyes on it even though she wasn’t even reading it.

Thoughts ran through his mind about the many ways in which he could have prevented the accident, he couldn’t help but feel that it was all his fault. He had killed his children and that was the one thing that was eating him up.

‘You know.’ He began but paused

Wangu put her book down and faced him.

‘Sarah and Saidi, those were their names.’

‘I still remember the day they were born, my wife had loved the babies more than anything in the world even before they were born. I remember how she turned the biggest room in the house into a nursery, I had plans for that room. I was super upset but I had to get over it at the end of the day.’

He paused as if remembering something

‘They were the most jovial and hyper kids I had ever known.’

Tears began to fall again

‘Does this mean I have to talk about them in the past tense now?’ he asked now turning to face her

She got a tissue and handed it to him

‘Thank you.’

She smiled politely

‘What will happen to my wife and me now? I have read of couples who just lose themselves in the process after a bereavement. These kids gave us life and now I feel like they have just taken a huge part of me with them.’

‘This is where I come in Sir, we will get through this together.’ She assured him now moving closer

‘How will that even happen? How will you help us when you don’t even know us?’ he asked

‘Allow me to worry about that, for now just mourn your children.’