Signs of Cupidity (Heart Hassle Book 1)

I dip my finger into the wooden tub. I’ve never felt water before. It feels so…strange. I can’t wait to sit in it. Now that I have a physical body, I’m excited about trying everything. I want to feel it all.

   I look down and see that my silver dress is not so silver anymore. It’s covered in blood, mud and grass stains, but at least it’s not ripped anywhere. I got lucky in that regard.

        I reach my arm around to try and unclasp it, but I realize that I can’t manage it with my injured shoulder.

         “Damn,” I mutter.

         I look down at myself, willing an idea to come where I can remove my dress without ripping it. Nothing comes to mind. This is my only dress, though, and I don’t want to ruin it. I guess I’ll just have to bathe with it on.

   With the soap in one hand, I carefully grip the rim of the wooden tub and lift a leg into it. When my foot is securely in the water, I lift my second leg.

I fall. Of course.

With a big splash and a little squeal, I land in the tub hard. My butt smarts from my clumsy entrance, but at least I’m in. The water bites into my skin. I don’t know how else to describe it, but once the bites calm down, I notice that the water helps to soothe my sore muscles.

Having a physical body is painful. My wings are too big to fit comfortably, so I pull them in tight against my back. My dress becomes like a second skin as it sticks to me, but I lift it up where I need to so I can wash my entire body. I have to wash everything with one hand, since moving my shoulder is a no-go.

   The soap smells fresh, and every stroke against my wet skin feels so nice that I give myself shivers. When I’ve scrubbed off the last of the blood and dirt, I dunk my head and wash my long pink hair.

         Once I’m done with that, I work the soap to wash my dress next. Might as well get the stains out of it, since it’s in here with me. I can’t reach my wings, so I just hope soaking in the water gets off whatever it can.

After I’m satisfied that both myself and my dress are as clean as possible, I relax and lean my head against the side of the tub. I close my eyes, allowing the water to ease my tender muscles.

For a moment, I forget about Prince Elphar and how angry I was at him. I forget about poor Princess Soora. I even forget about the asshole Not-First shooting me with an arrow for flying over his island. I have wanted to have a physical body for so long, that I’m having a hard time believing this is real. What the hell did the prince do to me? But more importantly, is it going to last?

I peek open an eye to make sure I’m still alone. The garden is private back here, with tall bushes and vines all around, blocking the view of the cabin. The forest surrounds it, and I can hear the breeze way high up in the trees.

When I’m sure that no one else is around, I take a deep breath and try out a Lust-Breath. I watch as my trusty cupid powers blow pink tendrils into the air.  “Yes! I still got it.”

So whatever Prince Elphar did to me didn’t affect my magic. That’s good. Maybe I can go live in a city and open up a love shop. People can come in and pay me for a little bit of this, a little bit of that. I bet I can make a killing.

I sink even further against the tub as I daydream about all the consensual love fests I’ll be starting in my super popular storefront while mountains of money roll in.

Maybe I can bottle some of my Lust-Breaths and set them on a shelf? That would be efficient and awesome. I’ll get a cat, too. One that can hang around in my shop and hiss at customers as they walk in because moody cats are hilarious. Also because the sexy men may have given me a craving to pet kitty tails.

   I don’t know how long I lay in the bath but I think I must’ve dozed off, because the next thing I know, I’m jumping awake at the sound of a voice. “Hey, Scratch! You awake over there?”

   The water sloshes around from my startled movements as I blink the heaviness away from my eyes. Evert must see me moving because he says, “Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s not a good idea to fall asleep in the tub?”

  “No?”

   He chuckles. I guess we’re back to Nice-Guy-Evert now, instead of Making-Threats-Third. “Well, now you know,” he says. “I brought you a fur to wrap up in. Come out and get it when you’re done. You can sit inside by the fire to dry.”

   My teeth chatter together. Now that I’m more awake, I notice that my body feels strange and I’m shaking all over.

   “I-I’m st-still wearing my dr-dress,” I manage to say through my teeth chattering.

   His head snaps up from his place over by the cabin’s back wall. It looks like he doesn’t want to come any closer to me. “You’re still in…why?”

   “C-couldn’t get it off by my-myself.”

   Silence. And then a long, long sigh. “Shit. Sylred!”

   I jump again at his shout. After a moment, Sylred appears around the corner. “What?”

They’re too far away for me to hear what they’re saying, but they mutter back and forth to each other and cast me looks. I’m not sure what I did wrong now.

I’m still shaking and I instinctively clasp my arms together and huddle my body close. When I touch my arms, I feel raised bumps across my skin. My nipples pucker painfully against my dress, and my teeth start chattering more and more. It’s such a strange sensation, and I stare at my skin as the bumps continue to rise.

I flex my toes and fingers. They feel weird, too. Stiff. Numb.

   Finally, both guys come and stand over me, trying to avert their eyes. “Okay, Scratch, Sylred is going to…” His voice cuts off and he swears violently when he steals a glance at me. His eyes widen. “Fuck, Syl, her lips are blue!”

   “Hmm?” I ask. Or at least, I think I do. My head feels fuzzy.

   “Shit,” Sylred says. He puts his hand in the water and then swears again. “It’s freezing. Why didn’t you heat the water for her?”

   “We never heat the bloody water!” Evert replies defensively. “Hell, we never even use this tub except to wash clothes.”

   “Well you should have heated it up for her! Help me get her out.”

   I feel two sets of arms dunk into the tub and their limbs wrap around me. They lift me out of the water, but as soon as the air hits me, my body shakes even more and I my teeth chatter together so violently that I think I might break a tooth.

   “Get it off her, we have to get her warm.”

   I feel Evert’s hands on my back, searching, tugging. “I’m trying! I can’t find any fucking buttons or snaps or…dammit.”

  “Just get it off!”

   “Sorry, Scratch. This wet dress has to go.”

  “Wha—”

   In one quick movement, he rips the dress down my back and peels it from my skin. Before I can worry about my nakedness, Sylred wraps me in soft furs and lifts me up to carry me into the house. I want to put my hands around his neck to steady myself, but I can’t move my limbs. I also realize that I can’t feel my fingers. Or my toes.

Maybe the prince’s magic is wearing off. Maybe I’m about to go incorporeal again. The thought sends me into another shaking fit.

   I rest my cheek against Sylred’s chest because it feels so nice. Comforting. I want to burrow inside him. He carries me inside the cabin and sets me on the floor right in front of the fire. I lean into it, my body prickling painfully.

I continue to shake and my teeth continue to chatter. “W-What’s h-h-happening t-to-to m-me?”

   Evert sits down and digs out my feet from under the furs. He starts rubbing my toes while Sylred rubs my arms through the furs, up and down, down and up. He’s really good at that.

   “Why didn’t you tell us you were so cold?” Evert asks. He sounds angry. Furious, even. “You should’ve gotten out of the bath much sooner, you little fool.”

“C-cold?” I stutter. Because of course I know what cold means, but I also don’t, because I’ve never felt it before. My jaw hurts from the incessant chattering, but I force myself to ask, “Th-this is wha-what c-cold fee-feels like?” Being cold sucks. No wonder I always saw people bundling up during wintertime.

   Evert gives me an incredulous look, and then cups my frozen toes in his hands. At first, I don’t know what he’s going to do, but in the next moment, he leans over and exhales over them. His breath is moist and close and…“Warm,” he says, finishing my train of thought. “We need to get you warm, Scratch.”

“She needs something dry to put on.”

   Evert barely stops his constant exhalations on my prickly toes to say, “Little busy, here. Unless you want her toes to fall off.”

   I shake my head because I definitely don’t want my toes to fall off. But I don’t speak up, because I suddenly feel very, very tired. At least I think it’s tired, because my eyes close and I want to fall into the darkness that lives inside that quietness. This must be what tiredness feels like. I’ve watched enough people over the years as their eyelids drooped and their breaths evened out to realize that’s what’s happening to me.

   I close my eyes again, and I can see the orange flames dancing behind my lids. Evert’s hands continue to massage my toes, and his warm breath continues to thaw them out. It feels so nice. So…nice…

   Sylred’s hands clap against my cheeks, scaring me. “Stay awake,” he says sternly. “Let’s get you warm and dry and then you can sleep. But not yet. Look at me.”

   I flutter my eyes open and force myself to focus on him. The fire feels nice and the painful tingling sensation across my skin has started to subside.

   “I need to get her dry clothes to wear. She’s nearly hypothermic,” Sylred says. “Don’t let her nod off. I’ll be right back.”

Evert squeezes my toes harder than necessary as Sylred jumps up and runs into one of the bedrooms. “Stay awake, Scratch.” 

      Sylred comes back into the room bare-chested and with a handful of clothing. Staring at his chest, I’m suddenly not sleepy anymore. Sylred is the smallest in stature of all three guys, but his skin is tan and smooth, and holy cow every single muscle is toned and lean. I want to run my fingers over his abs and lick his navel.

           “I’ll hold up the furs so you can dress, okay?” Sylred asks, coming up to me.

   I’m still shaking, but not as badly now. Still, I’m not sure I have the strength to dress myself. I don’t even know how to dress myself, to be honest. My large wings make things tricky. “I—I don’t know…”

   “I’ll help her. Hold up the fur, Syl.”

   Evert drops my feet, and I’m immediately sorry for the loss of contact.

“Ready?” Sylred asks, taking a corner of my fur in his hand.

   I bite my lip nervously. “It’s all right, Scratch,” Evert says. “I won’t look.”

   I relinquish my hold on the fur and Sylred quickly takes it away from my body and holds it up so that I’m blocked from view. I cross my arms over my chest, but Evert just picks up the clothes and lifts one of my legs. He slowly puts it through the pant leg, drawing it up to my knees, and then lifts my other leg to do the same thing.

        “Let’s get you to your feet so we can pull these up. Hold on to me,” he says quietly. His voice sounds different when it’s quiet like this.

I lean forward and wrap my uninjured arm around his neck. He lifts me to a standing position and then pulls up the pants the rest of the way. He rolls them a few times at the top and then uses a drawstring to hold them in place.

My feet are still covered in fabric, so Evert kneels down and rolls the pant cuffs, too, until my toes peek out. The pants are huge on me, but they’re dry and warm, and that’s what matters.

   “Now the shirt. Tuck your wings in and put your arms up.” He holds a steadying hand on my waist. “I won’t let you fall.”

   I nod and raise my arms and tuck my wings in as much as I can. As soon as I do, I’m completely vulnerable. My front is exposed to him and I hear his breath hitch a bit, and then the scent hits me.

        I don’t know how to describe it except that I absolutely know it’s coming from Evert, and the scent inexplicably means that he’s aroused.

           The aroma of his arousal permeates the air, and I’m surprised by not only how strong and pleasing it is, but also that I can identify it so easily. Maybe it’s one of my cupid powers that has evolved since I’ve become real? I have always just known when someone was aroused, but now that I can actually smell things, maybe this is how I’ve done it.  

I don’t know what’s more exciting, this new cupid ability, or the fact that I’ve got him so worked up. It’s quite the compliment since he’s super freaking hot.

I close my eyes in pleasure when I feel him gently pull the fabric down my arms and then over my head. His touch is soft and sends shivers down my skin. The shirt gets stuck at my shoulder blades, right where my wings jut out.

“One second,” he says quietly.

He moves behind me and I hear the fabric of the shirt tear down the back. He comes back in front of me and pulls the shirt down the rest of the way, covering my breasts and belly. He reaches behind me and ties the torn fabric together, securing it between my wings.

When he’s done, he moves his hands from the back of the shirt to hold my arms instead. I raise my eyes to his. I can feel my heartbeat quicken. He leans in closer and brushes a piece of wet hair away from my face. We’re still behind the fur that Sylred holds up, and it feels like we’re in our own little world.

“I lied,” he whispers in my ear.

A confused frown crosses my face. “What?”

“When I said I wouldn’t look. I lied.”

When his words sink in, my cheeks flame with embarrassment, but I can’t look away from his heated gaze. “You are pretty fucking gorgeous.”

No need for trolls. I nearly melt into a puddle of my very own steaming sex juices right here.

   “You done?” Sylred asks behind the furs, breaking the spell between us.

   In answer, Evert steps away from me and yanks the fur down, as if nothing happened. I’m still incapable of speech. “She still needs to sit in front of the fire. She’s not in danger anymore, but she’s still not warm enough.”

   Sylred guides me closer to the fire and sits me down. My hair is still damp and I can feel it on my back, dripping down my spine. The fire is making my grogginess feel so much better than the cold did.

   “So this is heat,” I reflect, holding my cold fingers in front of the fire.

        Without glancing behind me, I know that Sylred and Evert are sharing a look with each other. I can feel their unspoken questions. But they don’t trust me, so I shouldn’t trust them. My mouth doesn’t seem to realize this, though, because the admissions keep popping out of it. I really need to work on that, now that people can actually hear me.

   Evert comes closer and points at my arm. “What’s that?”

   I look down at the inside of my wrist where my cupid marking is. It’s more noticeable in the firelight. “My number.”

   Evert frowns in confusion. “Your number?”

   “Yeah…” I’m not sure how much to tell them, but I figure this part can’t hurt. “I don’t have a name, but we’re assigned numbers. ML is my number. One thousand-fifty.”

   “ML,” Evert says. “Em…elle. That’s what your name will be then, Scratch.”

   “Emelle. I like it,” Sylred replies, mimicking what I said about his.

   I look down at the markings. “Emelle,” I say, testing it out. “You think?”

   “It’s better than what Ronak wants to call you,” Evert says.

  I frown. “Demon?”

   Evert smirks and nods. “Among other things.”

   I sigh tiredly and shake my head. “I’m not a demon.”

   “Then what are you, and what the fuck is she doing inside our cabin?” I jump at the voice behind us and whirl around. Ronak is in the doorway and has his huge, muscular arms crossed in front of his massive chest. Seriously, the guy is…gigantic. I could literally climb him like a tree.

   I clear my throat and force myself to stand up. I stumble a bit and Sylred has to steady me, but at least I manage it. I need to stand up to face Not-First, because he’s a bully and I’m pissed at him. If I had the strength to walk over to him, I’d slap his face. Probably. Maybe. I might have to jump up to reach. I might also chicken out.

   Out of pure stubbornness, I refuse to admit what I am. It’s the only power I have over him, and as small at it is, it’s a victory for me to have something he wants and not give it to him. “I’m not a demon.”

   “No?” he asks. He stalks toward me slowly, like he’s getting ready to pounce. His steps are measured and deliberate. “You passed through an impenetrable barrier over our island,” he says surprising me. I don’t know anything about a barrier. “You attacked us with magic when we touched you, and you have red wings. If you’re not a demon, then what are you?”

   I stand my ground and lift my chin. I hate him right now. I hate him so much because he was the first face I saw in this realm and my heart jumped when I saw him. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to trace my fingers down his muscles. I wanted to rub my cheek against his rough beard. When I saw him standing there in the clearing, when his face softened with sadness in his black eyes, I thought that he was a man I could love. I saw the vulnerability hiding behind his strength and I wanted to kiss him and make it all better.

But that view I had of him was a lie. A fantasy. He’s an ass, and he’s mean, and he shot me out of the sky. And I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.

“You’re either too dumb or too deaf to understand, but do your best to pay attention, Not-First,” I snap. “I’m not a demon. I don’t know anything about a barrier, but I fell because I couldn’t fly. And I didn’t attack you with magic. Someone put a curse on me, or something. I’m not here for any of you. Falling on this island was an accident. Believe me, I wouldn’t willingly come here, considering how I’ve been treated.”

Not-First starts to open his stupid mouth, no doubt to say other stupid things, but I cut him off. “And yes, I have red wings. Thank you for pointing out the obvious. But like I told you before, demons don’t have red wings like this. Have you ever even seen a demon?”

The look on his face tells me all I need to know. “I didn’t think so. I have seen them, and let me tell you, my wings are way too pretty to be from hell. I mean, just look at them!” I say, spreading them out and ruffling. “See these feathers? They’re super soft and freaking lovely. And this red color is definitely more blooming-flower-red than burn-in-hell-red. Any idiot can see that. You don’t even deserve to look at my wings.”

We just stare at each other. The guy with the cat tail and the girl with the bird wings. The face off is tense, and I can tell that Evert and Sylred don’t quite know what to do.

I sigh wearily. “Look. I’ve had a really bad couple of days, okay? I was hit with powerful magic, jumped out a window, fell hundreds of feet, got shot with an arrow, dislocated my shoulder, got ripped to shreds by the trees, crash landed, strained all my muscles from moving, was tied to a tree all night, and nearly died from feeling cold for the first time. You’re the asshole here, not me. You shot me out of the sky. You hurt me. I didn’t do anything to you, and you hurt me—” My voice cracks and I can’t speak anymore because tears choke me from the inside out. Damn. I’m a crier.

I didn’t mean to say so much, and I certainly didn’t want to cry again, not in front of Not-First, but I can’t help it. All three faces stare at me in varying expressions. I’m out of breath, so my chest is kind of heaving, and my face feels almost as hot as the fire, but I don’t care. I stare at Not-First with all the hatred I feel for him. He stares back at me with an unreadable expression as he towers over me, but I don’t look down. I won’t.

My neck hurts from looking up at him.

My legs hurt from standing.

My shoulder hurts from being dislocated.

My entire body hurts from falling out of the sky.

My wings hurt from flying.

Every muscle hurts, just from moving.

And inside my chest, right where my new beating heart is—that hurts, too. Because I’ve dreamed for decades about what it would be like to be seen and heard, to have a body where I could feel and touch. But now that I have that, I’m faced with three ridiculously handsome guys who are either toying with me, wary of me, or downright awful to me. They don’t want me here. They don’t want me to exist. And it hurts.

Not-First leans down close to my face and it takes everything in me not to flinch away. His voice is gruff and darkly quiet, but he enunciates every word. “Now you listen to me. I don’t trust you. I don’t believe you. You can cry and yell and plead, but your lies won’t work on me. I’ll be watching you, and if you threaten me or my covey, I will kill you.”

Without another word, he turns on his heel and stomps away, storming out the door and disappearing outside. I let out a long, shaky breath.

Then I collapse.