She’s the Alpha

Seeing the passing scenery on our way back home felt bittersweet. I missed everything about my home, but I knew I couldn't stay. When we finally pulled into the driveway of our house, I wanted to cry all over again. All the destruction from the battle was gone. No one would even know anything happened if you weren't there yourself. It was too clean, too perfect. Our parents were waiting on the porch for us. Micah ran out as soon as I parked the car. He ran up to our parents and they were quick to pick him up to greet him. I got out of the driver's seat slowly, closing the door behind me. Walking up to my parents was a little awkward to be truthful. After all, they'd lied to me, and threatened to disown me. My mom smiled at me sympathetically.

"Come inside and we'll talk," she said, automatically sensing my mood. We went to the living room while Micah went to greet all his old toys.i sat on the couch rigidly and waited for someone to say something. No one did. My heart felt heavy knowing that Jessie would always be missing from this picture.

"Did you know that Kai orchestrated Jessie's death?" I asked the first thing that came to mind. My mom looked shocked, but my dad wasn't phased.

"Who told you to take a chosen mate after finding your fated one?" My dad snapped at me. I directed my glare to him.

"And then you threatened to disown me if I came back to keep me from finding out the truth; that our pack was fine," I challenged him.

"My pack. You don't belong here anymore. That's just the way things go when you find out your mate is an Alpha," he responded quickly. I sighed as my eyes began to water.

"I haven't been able to get a good night's rest since leaving. I felt so guilty this whole time. You were just going to let me keep believing that I destroyed the pack?" I asked broken. I didn't even have the energy to keep up my tough-girl act.

"It was better you didn't think you had a place to return at the time. If you knew the truth, you would've never given Kai a chance," my dad explained.

"Well now I know the whole truth, and I can't get myself to stop hating him. I'm suffocating there, dad. It's a small pack, small island, and the only way off is by plane. There's no where to catch a break, no where to hide, and I hate him so much that I can't even look at him. What am I supposed to do?" I asked, feeling frazzled. The only time I was ever truly myself was with my parents. I didn't hold back, and I didn't try to be polite. I wanted to say everything I'd been holding in right here, and right now. My mom reached over and covered my hands with her own.

"I know you don't feel like it right now, but you won't hate him forever. Eventually, you'll understand his reasons, and the mate bond will take care of the rest. You may hate him right now, but you can't live without him," my mom tried the caring approach.

"With everything feeling like I'm in a tailspin, I can't think properly. You won't have to worry about me. I just came to make sure everything was intact, and to clear my head. I have to go back in two weeks anyway," I said, giving up. I didn't know how to convey my distress to my parents. To them, the mate bond solved everything, but it didn't feel that way to me at the moment.

"You're room hasn't changed. I have matters to attend to," my dad said before leaving. My mom came closer before pulling me into a hug.

"We just wanted to give you a little nudge in the right direction. Don't be too upset, hm?" She said gently. I didn't agree with their methods, but I needed the hug. I hugged her back tightly as I released a breath that started my trembling again. It was hard being in this house knowing that Jessie would never come back. It was hard knowing that I was the reason for that. I could tell my mom wanted to ask more but she kept quiet.

“It was a long flight. I’m going to go rest,” I said, excusing myself. Almost as soon as I got to my room, my phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, I hesitated whether or not to answer it. Sighing, I accepted the call and placed it to my ear.

“Did you make it home yet?” Kai asked. I sat on my bed, pulling my feet under me.

“We make it okay,” I answered. There was a moment of awkward silence as neither of us knew what to say next. Finally, I heard Kai sigh on the other end.

“Take this time to do what you need to. I know you won’t, but you can call me if you need anything. Other than that, I guess I’ll see you in two weeks,” he said. I said goodbye before hanging up the phone. After hanging up with Kai, I realized something: good or bad, I was stuck with him. I put a sweater on before heading out. After asking one of the warriors on duty, I made my way to the woods where Jessie’s grave was marked. At least my parents had the sense to bury him with the other warriors who died in battle. I sat in front of his headstone and touched the rough marble hesitantly. I couldn’t help the tears that rolled down my face.

“Jessie, I’m sorry. It’s all my fault,” I sobbed as I completely let my guard down. I don’t know how long I sat there crying in front of his grave, but even after my tears stopped, I didn’t want to leave him.

“Kenny... Kenny,” a voice called to me from a distance. I knew that voice. Through my puffy eyes and blurry vision I thought I saw Jessie smiling down at me. He sat next to me and chuckled. I was scared that if I tried to touch him, he would disappear. It had been so long since I saw his face. I knew it wasn’t real, but I didn’t care.

“Kenny, you look miserable,” he laughed.

“That’s because you’re gone, and my fated mate is the one who killed you,” I replied hoarsely. I knew that if he was real, he would’ve ruffled my hair right about now, but the illusion of Jessie only smiled sympathetically at me.

“You can’t blame him. I don’t. It was you who pushed him into a corner first, and I’m at fault for playing along with you. I would always give you anything you wanted, but I shouldn’t have crossed the line when it came to your fated mate. Don’t be too hard on Kai,” Jessie said before his image began to fade. I started to freak out. I didn’t want him to leave.

“Don’t go,” I begged.

“It’s time I really go, and time for you to stop blaming Kai,” Jessie said before he disappeared. I slumped before touching the cold stone again. I couldn’t be sure if the image of Jessie was his ghost or my own subconscious. Regardless, Jessie was right. He was never my fated mate. I was in this mess because I tried to force something that could never be. No matter how long it would take, I needed to make some kind of effort with Kai. He was the one I was fated to.