She’s the Alpha

We got back to the house to find Micah and Leo playing board games in the living room.

"Alpha... Stella. I forgot to tell you that your-"

"Is my keiki home?" A woman asked, coming from the kitchen. The woman was very curvy with a round face, tan skin, and long, wavy black hair that flowed all the way to her knees. She was pretty and motherly it made me miss my mom.

"Mom," Kai grumbled as his mother covered his face with kisses. His mom turned to me. I felt like I would be sucked into her stare. She took in my every detail.

"And this must be your mate," she said. Leo fumbled with the cards in his hands before he looked at me shocked.

"W-What?" Leo asked. Micah laughed at a fumbling Leo before he ran up to me. I picked Micah up and placed him on my hip as he rested his head on my shoulder.

"This isn't a mate. It's my big sister, Kenny, and I'm Mickey," Micah smiled at them. Hearing Jessie's old nickname for me made my heart ache.

"Mickey, not now, okay, buddy?" I said softly as I looked at him, using the nickname I normally used for him. Micah squirmed down before he took off up the stairs.

"Micah! Micah, wait up!" Leo yelled, running after my hyperactive little brother. I cast my eyes towards the window to distract myself.

"So you are my son's mate then?" Kai's mom asked slowly.

"Mom, this is Stella. Stella, this is my mom, Loloa," he introduced us. I shook her outstretched hand.

"Call me Lolo," she smiled politely.

"Nice yo meet you," I said. She left the living room, leaving just Kai and me. He let out an exhausted breath.

"Until when are you going to keep this up?" He asked. I knew exactly what he was referring to. I felt guilty towards Kai and Jessie and I still didn't know how to process my own emotions.

"I'm going to shower," I said quietly before going up to my room. I showered and changed into some comfortable clothes. I went back downstairs to look for Micah but stopped when I heard voices coming from Kai's office.

"She's pretty," I heard Lolo say.

"She's so stubborn," Kai breathes.

"Is she really your mate?" His mom asked. It was quiet for a moment.

"She won't admit that though. She doesn't want to be here, mom. She doesn't want me. I won't lie, it hurts. I'm trying so hard. Trying to love her, protect her, make her comfortable, but she wants none of it. I tried giving her space, and nothing. I tried to show her I love her, and nothing. Nothing I do is good enough for her. Nothing I do even matters and I'm tired. I'm so tired. She doesn't care about anything but that stupid title," Kai ranted. I felt a pang in my chest listening to him. Had I really been that terrible?

"She doesn't understand the meaning of a mate just yet. I know her parents and her mother was the same way with Alpha Elias. Luna Nova actually ran away from him after getting pregnant and being with him for a year. Sometimes, people have a hard time letting someone else in; especially when they're trained their whole life to be the anomaly. Maybe she just doesn't know how to accept you and let you in. She was trained to be alone, you can't blame her for not knowing what to do. Just give her time," his mom tried to reason with him. I was actually surprised that she emphasized with me. I hated to admit it, but everything she said was true. I was the anomaly that had to conform into the trend, and I was having a hard time figuring it out. Kai growled in response.

"I'm growing impatient. She isn't marked anymore by anyone now, but she wore his mark until it faded on its own," he said defeatedly. I found myself reaching up to touch where the mark used to be out of habit.

"Ask her about it. From what you told me, she lost her childhood friend, right? Maybe she hadn't actually thought about it yet. So much has happened to her over the last few weeks. You can't push her too hard, Kai. She's young and probably feels guilty and responsible for what happened to her pack," Lolo said. Again, she hit the nail on the head.

"I'm going to talk to her," Kai said. My eyes widened when I realized I was about to be found eavesdropping. I sprinted up the stairs to my room and sat on the bed. A few moments later, a knock sounded on my door.

"Come in," I answered, knowing fully well who it was. Kai came in looking worn and tired. I pat the spot next to me on the bed. He sat down and faced me with a heavy sigh. I hadn't noticed before, but it looked like he hadn't slept in days. I took his face in my hands instinctively as worry set in. He wouldn't be able to go on like this. My thumbs grazed over the bags under his eyes gently.

"Kai, when is the last time you slept?" I asked. He took my hand in his and closed his eyes.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" I asked. He shook his head before opening his eyes to study my face.

"You're worried about me," he noted softly. I hesitated before I started to drop my hands but Kai held them to his face. He was so desperate, even if it was a small touch. It made me feel guilty all over again.

"I'm sorry, Kai. I'm sorry I'm not cooperating like a mate should. I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted," I apologized quietly. Kai was silent for a moment before he let my hands go.

"Can I at least remark you?" He asked. I knew this was coming, but I still didn't have an answer. Instead, I kissed his cheek. Sitting back, I took his hand in mine as I hung my head in shame. Right now, I felt comforted... I felt whole, and that feeling just made me feel even more guilty.

"I don't think I'm ready yet," I admitted quietly.

"I don't understand at all. I almost feel like my only option right now is to tie you up and force you, but I don't want to do that. I feel like I'm trying to do everything I can and you're not even blinking. Every time I'm close to reaching the top of the mountain, you're there to push me back down to the start. How is that fair, Kennedy? How? What am I supposed to do?" He snapped as he stood. I stared at him in shock for a moment before I clenched my hands together and cast my eyes towards my lap.

"Stella," I muttered. Kai growled before he stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him. I flinched as I felt my eyes water. I had no reason to be upset. I was the one hurting him, not the other way around. Kai was right. I was making him suffer for no other reason than my guilt. I had to make this right somehow.