Sheer Cupidity: A Standalone Cupidity Romance (Heart Hassle Book 5)

LEX

I don’t know how to tell time when Belren kisses me. There’s no way to count the seconds. It’s just the pressure of his lips against mine, the weight of his hand against my jaw, the depth of his tongue slipping into my mouth. There’s no other measurement.

With my eyes closed, my vision isn’t there to muddy up what I’m feeling. So the kiss is all I’m aware of—the only thing my mind and body are attuned to.

When my tongue slips against his in a tentative stroke, Belren groans into my mouth, and the sound zips straight down to my core, making me emboldened. He grips my face harder, not hurting me, but with a grasp that tells me he’s terrified that he’ll lose the ability to feel me at any moment.

His touch is more substantial this time, with more weight and realness. There’s no warmth to his skin, but it doesn’t feel strange. If anything, he’s invigorating. Like taking a deep breath of fresh air.

Our tongues tease and our teeth nip, and this kiss feels exactly like falling in love.

It’s exhilarating and soft, demanding and tentative. I’ve never kissed anyone, never wanted to in all my time in this afterlife. But now, with Belren’s lips against mine, I realize just how much more this is.

Watching and encouraging it between others on the sidelines just isn’t the same. Love, lust, yearning, it’s all so much more consuming than I could ever comprehend as a bystander, no matter how qualified.

Finally, after I’m not sure how long, I pull away, only because I have to catch my breath. I’m panting so hard that I probably should feel embarrassed, but my thoughts are far too steeped in desire to care.

I just had my first kiss.

Momentous—that’s how it feels. Like mountains shifting on the ground, changing the landscape completely.

Our eyes are locked together here beneath the shadowed trees, and I’m so thankful for the moonlight, because it makes him seem even more tangible—albeit glowy. Even though we aren’t far from the hedge maze, this spot amongst the trimmed grass and rowed trees feels private, like its own separate island.

“You’re so bright,” I whisper through swollen lips, my voice dropped down and sounding like a demure secret.

He smirks, though his hand doesn’t drop from my face. Instead, he brings a thumb over to rub across my bottom lip. “You’re so beautiful.”

A blush tinges my cheeks. It’s my knee-jerk reaction to turn away and wave him off, but before I can, his hold shifts to my chin, and he tilts my head up. “You are,” he tells me sternly, sterling eyes boring into me.

“How are you touching me?”

He shakes his head slowly, eyes still full of hunger. “I don’t know. But I’m not going to stop now.”

I suck in a breath as his mouth comes down to press softly against my neck. Shivers erupt on my skin as he skims kisses across the spot just below my ear where I’m most sensitive right now, hand tilting my head to give him better access. “I can even smell you,” he murmurs. “Like a memory. Of roses dipped in spun sugar, pressed between my favorite pages of a book.”

His other hand comes to rest on my shoulder, grazing over my skin with the lightest touch that somehow has the heaviest impact. An ache begins to pulse between my legs, steady and warm, as that hand dips down past my collarbone before fingering the hem of my shirt collar.

“What does it feel like to you?” I ask breathily.

“It feels like walking into the sun after being in the cold darkness for too long.”

Unbidden, I feel a tear spill from my eye and trickle down my cheek. I don’t even know why I’m crying. Probably because I’m overwhelmed with too many emotions, both sad and full of joy, excitement and fear.

Belren notices immediately but doesn’t hesitate to press his lips against it, kissing it away. “You even taste sweet.”

My heart feels so full, so euphoric, that I’m surprised it’s not bursting from my chest. I’m not sure how he’s broken down my barriers so thoroughly, but they’re wiped from the planes of my personality completely. I’m more open than I’ve ever been, more vulnerable, and it scares the heck out of me.

My breathing picks up, and Belren pauses, fingers not straying below my collar. Pulling back, he looks me in the eye. “Tell me what you want, Pinky.”

But I can’t, because I don’t know.

“I have no idea what I’m doing, just that I want to do it,” I confess. This foreign, clumsy need is throbbing through me, winding me up as tightly as a coil about to snap. I know all about pleasures of the flesh, since I’ve been the catalyst to so much of it. Yet experiencing it firsthand is something I have absolutely no experience with.

Belren’s eyes soften. “Come here.”

As if he knows I need some kind of reassurance, he wraps me up in his arms. I carefully rest my cheek against his chest, in awe as my skin lands against the cooled press of his body. He’s substantial, yet not quite completely solid. His silhouette feels like cool satin, rather than the true feel of the fabric of his tunic or the hardness of his masculine body.

I try to imagine what this embrace would’ve felt like when he was alive. Would I have felt heat coming from his body? If I breathed him in, would he have had a spicy scent or something wilder?

I’m acutely aware of his fingers playing with the waistband of my pants, and I instinctively press myself even harder into him. He makes a gravelly noise deep in his throat, which only excites me more, though I’m not sure what to do about it.

“I’ve got you,” he assures me.

And he does.

Suddenly, his thigh is between my legs, giving me the pressure my body is craving, right where I’m craving it.

A whimper comes out of me, which only seems to spur him on. “I know my cupid hasn’t felt any love for herself…but what about lust?” he asks, the question purring through his body to mine.

As if he’s summoned some just by bringing it up, a little bit of Lust Breath slips from between my lips like an exhale in a wintry night. The pink fog puffs between us, and I look up just as it rises up around his face.

Belren takes a deep breath, and his entire body goes still before his eyes flick down to me. “Was that…”

I nod slowly. “You felt my power?”

“I felt it,” he replies, his voice rough and low. “Do it again.”

A smile spreads over my face before I gently purse my lips, and then I slowly blow out a stream. Wisps of power permeate the air, condensing between us in a haze.

“Fuck,” he growls out.

I don’t know how I have the nerve to be so wanton, but his response spurs me on, and I find my feet widening so I can fit him better between my legs and start rocking against his thigh. His hands grip my waist, and then he’s dragging me closer, leg lifting slightly to give myself the friction that my body is so desperately craving.

“I need more…” I whisper out, hands clasped tight to his shoulders, legs shaking like they’re not going to keep holding me up.

“Where are those manners you’re so proud of?” he teases.

“Please,” I blurt out, because, first of all, he’s right. Manners are very important. Secondly, he could ask me to say just about anything right now, and I’d do it; that’s how desperate I am.

Belren’s hand reaches behind me to grip my butt, making me jump. “You have no idea how much I like hearing that word in this context.”

I think I have some idea, since something hard is pressing against my stomach.

Should I be curious about how it’s even possible for a ghost to get hard? Probably. But do I care right now? Absolutely not.

“I asked nicely,” I remind him.

“You did. Such good behavior means that I should reward you.”

I nod emphatically. “Definitely.”

With a grin, Belren somehow maneuvers us until we’re sitting down together in the grass, his back against a smooth tree. He settles my body on his lap, my legs wrapped around his waist, my hands still balanced on his shoulders. He’s never stopped touching me. Not once, as if he won’t risk letting go and then losing the ability completely.

“Lie back,” he instructs.

I hesitate, teeth capturing my bottom lip.

“Don’t worry, Pinky,” Belren tells me. “Just a reward, remember? Nothing but pleasure.”

With a nod, I slowly lean back until my wings are resting on the grass, the cool blades pillowing my body. I start to pull my legs off of his waist, but he clamps a hand down on my thigh to keep them locked around him. “Stay,” he orders.

I feel a little bit like I’m trying to do a yoga pose, but I do as he says because I really want that reward.

He leans forward slightly, his hand coming down to trail over my stomach. Even with my shirt acting as a layer between us, the touch makes me suck in a breath, my eyes going wide.

“B—Hook,” I catch myself. “I…” What am I going to say? That I want it, but that I’m scared? That sounds silly, considering my profession. I shouldn’t be frightened of intimacy. I celebrate it on a daily basis.

At the uncertainty in my tone, his hand goes still as he looks down at me. His gray horns are curled back, white hair mussed, and I wonder what it would feel like if I tried to run my hand through it.

“Do you want to stop?” he asks.

I shake my head, but I’m trembling.

“It’s alright,” Belren soothes. “Close your eyes, Lex.”

I’m nervous at first, but as soon as my lids flutter shut, my worries go quiet. I’m able to focus on his touch and his touch alone, making me instantly more relaxed.

“Good girl.”

My feathers ruffle from the praise.

“Now, just feel.”

Slowly, his hand slips beneath my shirt, his cool touch grazing against my stomach. My skin jumps at the contact, but then he goes higher until he’s dragging a finger against the underside of my breast.

I shut my lids tight so that they don’t spring open as that teasing finger swoops over my curve, and then his entire palm is gripping my breast, squeezing it lightly. A gasp tears out of me when his bracing touch shifts, and he brings my shirt up to expose my chest. I can’t help but look. I peek so I can watch his reaction through half-lidded eyes.

Belren has gone still, his gaze latched onto my body. The expression on his face captures one word perfectly.

Crave.

His attention flicks up, catching me, but I’m so glad I had my eyes open for this moment. He tsks at me like he’s caught me being naughty, and I probably shouldn’t find that exciting, but I do.

Watching me, he brings both hands to my bare waist and then yanks my hips against him, my groin grinding against his hard length. I let out an incomprehensible noise at the sudden friction that leaves me throbbing.

His hands hook into the waistband of my pants, loosening the ties until the fabric flares open. “Put your feet down on the ground, but make sure your thighs are still wrapped around me, understand?”

I nod, swallowing hard, before I do as he said. When my feet are planted on the ground behind him, he lifts my hips and starts to slowly tug down my pants as far as they’ll go. With the fabric strapped around my thighs and his body positioning them open, my lower half feels pinned in place. And I like it.

Belren glances down at my underwear, which are simple and plain white. I have a snap-reaction to feel self-conscious, since they’re probably not the most exciting undergarments he’s seen, but then I remember…that he doesn’t remember any of his previous escapades anyway. It’s oddly reassuring.

I relax a bit…right up until his knuckle skims across the front of my underwear, dragging over the bundle of nerves that, up until now, have been wholly ignored in my afterlife.

My hips buck up on accident, from both surprise and pleasure, but Belren’s hand is there on my stomach, pinning my body securely down. When he rubs it again, my knees try to fuse together, but of course they can’t.

Belren watches me steadily, like he’s learning me. With my bottom half secured on his lap, upper body exposed and sprawled out on the grass, I feel entirely vulnerable. Shyness starts to overtake me, but it stops short when he says, “You are the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever beheld.”

My heart flutters. He just gave me a compliment and used the word beheld. I’m a goner.

“Do you want me to give you pleasure now?”

I don’t have the breath to tell him that I feel pleasure every single time he touches me, so I just reply, “Yes, please.”

Belren’s hand slips beneath the fabric of my underwear, dragging a cooled, silken finger across my seam. “Mmm. Such a good little cupid.”

My knees tremble as he gathers my wetness, and when the pad of his thumb presses against the spot where I’m throbbing, I squeeze my eyes closed again.

Yes, right there.

Blinking, breathing, trembling—it all becomes secondary and background. It’s as if everything has been narrowed down to this one single part of me.

“Where am I touching you, Lex?” he asks.

I bite my bottom lip hard, my hips jolting up again as he continues to rub that perfect spot. Yet when I don’t answer, he stops, making a whine escape me.

“Don’t stop.”

“Then tell me where my hand is right now. Tell me what I’m doing to you. I want to hear those naughty words coming from your prim and proper mouth.”

My cheeks flare. “I…can’t.”

When his hand moves, at first I think he’s taking his touch away completely, and I begin to protest, but he simply tugs my panties down to my pants, making me swallow my words.

Panting up at him, my chest heaves, and Belren takes the opportunity to lean down, placing his mouth right over my pebbled nipple, and a staggered exhale escapes me.

His tongue moves over my peak, flicking it back and forth before he sucks, letting it fall out of his mouth with a dirty pop.

“Please,” I plead, because now that he’s exposed me down there, it feels like it’s aching even more, the cool night air making me all too aware of how hot and throbbing I am.

Belren swirls his finger around my other breast. “Tell me where you want my touch.”

I blink up at him, because I’m so desperate for him to resume, my body so close to that blessed release that I’ve caused but never experienced. He smirks at me, and then his finger comes back down, yet he avoids the spot where I need him most, and instead gathers my wetness and spreads it around.

“Come on, Pinky. Tell me that you want me to rub your clit until you explode. Tell me that you want my fingers inside your tight, wet pussy until I make you come.”

My mouth falls open, and I probably look like a deer in headlights. “I…I can’t say that.”

“Course you can,” he replies, his finger barely grazing me, and my eyes flare.

“Don’t be mean.”

“On the contrary,” Belren counters. “I want nothing more than to be very, very nice to you. But if you need me to be nice, then I need you to be a little naughty.”

My wings flare behind me at his words, and more Lust comes floating out of my mouth. He leans down again, this time to pepper kisses over my chest before licking a path up the curve of my neck that gives me full-body chills.

“Be naughty. Just this once, let go. There’s no embarrassment between us,” he murmurs against my heated skin.

Squirming, I clear my throat. “I would like you to please touch me.”

“Touch you where, Lex? Use your words,” he says, lifting his head to sit back up.

I glance around to make sure no one is around to hear me. I don’t know why I’m more bothered about saying dirty words aloud. I mean, I’m lying here basically naked, doing very inappropriate things, but saying a naughty word seems so much more scandalous.

Still, I aim to succeed.

When I’m certain that we’re still alone and under the cover of night, I turn my head back toward him, though I don’t meet his eyes. I can’t.

“I would like you to please touch my…”

“Pussy,” he purrs. “Go on. Say it.”

Feeling like I might combust from fiery embarrassment, I mumble it out as fast as I can under my breath. “Please touch my pussy.”

He hums. “Despite the fact that what you said was barely audible, I’m going to give it to you, because hearing you say that was both adorable and arousing as hell.”

I smile, because I really love when someone is proud of me.

But my smile slips right off when his hand slides back down. He wastes no time, one hand gripping my thigh, the other doing exactly as I asked.

If I thought his touch was pleasurable before, it’s nothing compared to now. I’m slicker, too, because he uses the moisture there to run over my throbbing core as he starts to spin me up toward the dizzying heights of pleasure.

My hands clamp down on the lush grass beneath me, gripping the blades between fists because it feels like I might just float away otherwise. I have no idea how he knows just how to touch me, but he does. He rubs me in that perfect spot, and my eyes clamp shut as I let the sensation consume me.

When he slips a finger inside of me, we both groan.

“Gods, this pussy…” he growls out. I squeal, overcome, as he begins to thrust his cool finger in and out, while continuing his rough fondling that’s bringing me higher and higher to an unknown peak. “You’re hot and dripping, your body practically begging to be fucked.”

Goodness.

He adds another finger, and then he curls them inside of me while putting pressure on my clit, and a garbled noise gets stuck in my throat. Does it always feel like this? I don’t know. But his touch is a confliction of sensations. Soft yet substantial. Cool yet making me throb with heat. He’s bringing me higher and higher, more moans spilling out of me, and I’m almost…

“There it is,” he croons. “Let go and come for me.”

And because I’m excellent at following instructions, I do.

That unsteady climb I’ve been on suddenly expands to a precipice, and then I’m plunging right off the edge, and what a delicious edge it is.

An orgasm racks through my entire body, heating from the soles of my feet to the apples of my cheeks. I quake all over, and he doesn’t relent, just keeps touching me, making my pleasure go on and on.

When the fall finally slows, I come back down to the ground, tingling all over. My eyes are dazed and heavy as I open them, and I find Belren slipping his fingers out of me, only to bring them up to his mouth and lick them off.

He groans. “You’re sweet everywhere. The best taste I could ever have on my tongue.”

I’m too languid and glazed-over to even clutch any pearls over the fact that he just licked me off of him. As far as I’m concerned, he can do whatever dirty, inappropriate thing he wants, since he gave me my very first orgasm.

But his caring for me doesn’t end with the pleasure-giving. Belren carefully grips one thigh and helps me bring my legs together. He pulls up my underwear and pants, even knots the ties before he straightens my shirt down over my breasts.

When I’m recouped enough to speak, I ask, “Don’t you want me to…” My eyes dart down to his groin. “You know,” I finish lamely as I shake out my wings and fix my ponytail.

“No,” he says with a smile. “My little cupid needs to be eased into these things slowly, I think.” He pulls me into his lap again, but this time sideways so my wings don’t get in the way of me resting my head against his chest.

Just being held by him like this is its very own kind of pleasure. Not one where you fall off an edge, but something softer, slower. Like a wayward feather floating through the air.

Right now, I’m not embarrassed about what we did. I’m not thinking about how exposed or vulnerable I was. It’s like we’re in our own private bubble, and I don’t want it to pop, though I know it will.

“What if you won’t be able to touch me again?” I whisper, worry spreading through my quiet tone.

Belren’s arms tighten around me like he shares the same fear. Like what we just shared was just as significant for him as it was for me. “Then I’ll hold you now for as long as I can, and I’ll enjoy every moment.”