Seneca Rebel

ALL I WANTED to do was purge on the outside the rage I felt on the inside, but for now it only could happen in the squared-off, golden boundaries of my room. My music blasted in an effort to drown out the thought processes of my battered mind. I didn’t want to think anymore. I wanted to be a part of the “ignorance is bliss” camp. But it was too late. I was in way too deep. I wondered if it would be better to go down with the sinking ship along with everyone else on Earth or be here, in this idyllic place, but miserable and alone. Yet, from somewhere deep inside there was a speck of hope prodding me. This speck, a luminous underdog within, invisible to the eye, is a persistent little thing. It told me that if there was a real reason the facts had been hidden, covered up by blaming Dom for awful things that he didn’t do, I would be the only one who could uncover them. There were answers, and I had to find them.

I was out of breath, lying on my bed, chest pumping up and down after that intense release of everything I had in me. Moving from chaos to a meditative state was not so simple a

Seneca Rebel

process. I had to get out of here.

I tried to use S.E.R.C.’s bustling morning rush to drown out the automatic thinking inside my head. The acoustic carrier was packed with people headed to session. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on mathematics applications, quantum computing or anything else for that matter, but I had to show my face.

When I hopped off in S.E.R.C., Reba was there. I was surprised. How could he not hate me? We locked eyes. I was ashamed. He didn’t appear upset. He looked resolved. “We have to talk.”

“Not now.”

“Yes, now.”

This wasn’t the sweet, playful Reba I was used to. He was assertive, refusing to leave this alone. “You can’t just blow off our friendship like this. I know you don’t mean the things you said.”

I started walking towards my sessions.

“Doro, stop! Talk to me.”

I stopped. Spun around. My glare ripped into him, “You’re putting us both in danger. You need to quit. Don’t question this anymore, okay? You have to trust me.”

“If I have to trust you, then you have to trust me. It’s a twoway street, isn’t it?” I stumbled for an answer, because I didn’t have one. He was right, but I couldn’t even begin to go there. My emotions went into code red. Just being there with him, with this conversation headed in the direction it was, put us both in jeopardy.

“Come on, Doro.”

“You don’t understand what we’re dealing with!”

“Part of me does. My mind is telling me one thing, but my intuition is telling me another. It’s tearing me apart. I’ve always trusted my intuition before everything.”

“You need to just leave this alone now. Before it’s too late.”

“There’s no such thing as too late. You may think there is, but, trust me, there isn’t. You may not know it yet, but I know you have the answers... not just for me. For everyone.”

I glanced around in a complete panic. The crowds of people headed to session moved around us as if we didn’t exist, but even with all the noise surrounding us, I knew his thoughts were being analyzed in some way. I didn’t want him to tap into mine. It must have been too late, though.

“We can’t do this here.” I walked away from him. He didn’t chase after me. He knew that I would be at the meal hall for lunch.