Sebastian The Traveler

I swear someone... no something, moved my hair. I could brush that off as my imagination, or pretend it was Sebastian, but the dream... the dream was what really disturbed me.

The dream is what upset me.

I had been searching for Sebastian. I couldnt find him. I couldn't feel him. This was all wrong, not at all like any dream of Sebastian I had ever had.

I felt like he was gone.

He abandoned me.

I had never experienced that kind of panic before--that intensity. Even after everything with my parents, this had been worse.

My hysterics had caused me to get sick more than once. I tried to calm down but it had been a hard long road that afternoon.

It felt like a death. And in my waking hours, I was mourning it as one.

My first day at a new job was not off to a great start. I had an hour to get my shit together before clocking in.

I readied myself in front of the mirror. I had to put on a bit more make up than usual to hide the dark circles under my eyes and take the attention away from their redness. As heartbroken as I was, I had to set that aside. I would cry over Sebastian when I got home. But now, I needed to look presentable.

***

Carolyn was a nice lady. She was retiring in two days, training me as her replacement.

She was petite, with a small frame. Pretty brown hair that was styled classy, it framed her face nicely, resting just below her jaw line. Her eyes seemed familiar, but I couldnt place it.

I would be working with her on the fifth floor of the hospital. We were aides, runners really. If a patient needed anything, we would be tasked with making sure they had it. I was to change their water pitchers, bring them food and clean towels and bedding.

"This floor is mostly long term residents. Disabled in some way, unconscious or in a long term coma," I noticed she winced after her words. I'm sure this was a sad floor to be on. Probably second to hospice, which I was relieved I didnt get assigned to.

We went room to room. She relayed the patients history to me, giving me a short explanation before we entered. Those patients that could converse with me did so. They were all lovely people but I couldnt help but feel bad for them as they wanted to leave, to go home and be with their families, but they couldnt. It was sad.

"This is Tyler. He's 14 and onry so watch out," she laughed and shook her head, "he's a good kid though."

She opened the door and small red headed boy grinned at us.

"Hey Miss Carol!" He cheered at her.

"How we doing today little man?" She asked.

He frowned and grumbled, "I'm not little."

But he was. For 14 years old he was rather small and frail. Carolyn didnt give me the information on his diagnosis and I didnt ask. I'm sure I would find out sooner or later.

He finally noticed me and grinned, he eyed me up and down and wiggled his eyebrows, giving me an approving nodd, "Who's the hottie Miss Carol? Did you bring me an early birthday gift?" He asked excitedly.

Carolyn and I both laughed at him. I shook his hand, "I'm Avery."

He made some joke about a sponge bath as we finished up his room. Before we walked out the door, he stopped Carolyn.

"Hey, hows Sebastian? Any change?" He asked her seriously.

My eyes looked back and forth between them. Had I really heard what I think I heard? Did he say Sebastian? No. No way...

But he did. I didnt imagine it. How coincidental would it be to have a Sebastian on my floor? What were the odds? It wasnt a common name by any means...

She patted his hand and smiled sadly, "No change yet, but we're hopeful."

We walked out and she closed his door gently.

I was afraid to ask but I had to know, "Who is Sebastian?"

We walked a few feet to the next patient room. She rested her hand on the knob, she seemed sad, but must have forced herself to look me in the eyes, "He's my son."

She stared at the door now, but continued, "This is his room. I always save it for last, as it gives me more time to spend with him..." she trailed off, but I felt as if she wanted to say more, so I didnt take my attention away from her, "He's been in a coma for about 6 months now... biking accident in the mountains."

She went to turn the handle and I stopped her, placing my hand on top of her's, "I dont have to go in with you, if you want alone time. I understand."

She smiled, appreciative of my consideration, "That's sweet of you Avery but you might as well meet him now. He'll probably be here for a long time." I know she thought it was me just being nice, but really, I was scared. Sebastian was a name that caused my heart to skip. I didnt want to know someone else with the same name. To me, there was only one Sebastian. I wanted it to stay that way.

I followed her inside.

She blocked my view, going directly to his bedside to hold his hand. " 'Bastian," she said softly, "this is Avery, shes going to be taking care of you from now on."

I stepped to the bed, beside Carolyn, to greet the guy who couldnt see or hear me.

"Oh my God," I gasped and placed my hands over my mouth in shock.

Carolyn stared at me, "What's wrong, honey?"

He was laying lifelessly in bed, surrounded by white hospital blankets. An IV running through is right arm. A nasal cannula attached to his face. He was pale, expressionless. His eyes were closed. But I knew that face. I would recognize that face anywhere.

That was Sebastian. My Sebastian. He was real?...

Suddenly felt sick.

"I know him..."