Say You Swear

“Wait a minute!” Cam chokes through her laughter. “She convinces you to take her home, then what?” Her brows shoot up. “Says hang on a sec, let me pull the plug to my red river, but hurry so I don’t make a mess?”

Noah laughs into his fist while my palm slaps over my mouth to hold back a giggle, so I don’t spit water all over, as tears of laughter leak from my eyes.

Trey grins. “No. She waited until I got sheathed, reached between her legs, pulled the shit out and tossed it to the floor like it was fuckin’ normal.”

My mouth drops open, and Cam laughs so hard she does spit water… all over Trey’s lap, but he only smiles, nudging her shoulder with his.

“Okay.” Noah frowns in amusement. “No more of your frat stories tonight.” He smiles, not a hint of judgment present.

“Let’s hear some of yours?”

Noah’s gaze darts to mine, eyes bright. “Me?”

I nod, taking another small drink of water.

His chuckle is low, and he licks his lips, but it’s Trey who speaks.

“Unless you want a detailed description of the practice field, gym, grocery store and maybe a local gas station or two, you probably want to stick to me for entertainment.” He laughs, whipping his head to the side to avoid the peanut Noah throws his way.

Noah grins good-naturedly, throwing his arm out along the back of the booth as he settles more into it.

“A homebody then?” I wonder.

Noah brings those eyes back to mine, a hidden grin threatening to slip. “Depends.”

“On?”

His gaze narrows the slightest bit, but a smile is written in the creases framing his face. “On the day, the situation, and the reason I’d have for going.”

“I didn’t mean he’s a grandpa.” Trey laughs. “He’s a focused-ass fucker is all. Surprised I got him out tonight.” He looks to his friend, and then Trey’s smirk widens. “Actually, I’m not.”

They share a secret laugh, and I smile, glancing around the table as the conversations flow, truly enjoying the easiness of the evening.

After my dance partner surprise, Noah and I tracked down Cam and Trey by the bar, quickly grabbing an empty table to hang for a while longer. We’ve been sitting here for about an hour now, listening to Trey’s hilariously horrific tales from his first year in college when he pledged a fraternity at UCB, where he completed his first year. He transferred to Avix his sophomore year, and he learned quick football and fraternities don’t always mix when you want to be on top of your game, ergo the football house Mase and the boys live in.

Chase.

My stomach turns at the thought of him, and I fill my glass with the remainder of the pitcher. When I set the heaving cup back down, my eyes rise, finding Noah studying me, his head tilted slightly.

His tongue peeks out, wetting his lips, and his dark brows slightly pinch, strangely making his face all the more handsome. Thankfully, Cameron begins to speak, so I have an excuse to look away.

“I’m wiped.” She turns to me with a drunken smile. “You must be dying if I’m tired.”

I grin but drop my gaze to my glass. I hate how a simple, unintentional thought that was linked to Chase leaves me sulky, even through the buzz.

Honestly, I’m not tired yet and the last thing I want to do is go home and lie in bed for hours, thinking about things I have no control over and a man I need to get over. Still, I ready to agree, turning back to her, but Noah speaks before I can.

“How ‘bout Trey walks you, and I make sure Ari gets home safely after she finishes that glass she’s just poured?” He flicks my cup, smiling at my friend.

Cam scowls, whipping her head my way. “Ari?”

I bite back a grin, but she knows.

“Go on, bitch.” She smirks, sitting back. “Let’s hear it.”

Trey grins and Noah’s brows draw in further.

“What’d I miss?” He looks between the three of us.

Trey reaches over, smacking Noah’s arm. “Dude, didn’t I tell you this girl comes equipped with a jukebox?”

Noah’s gaze flies to mine with growing intensity. “No.”

Heat makes its way up my cheeks, so I lower my chin slightly.

“Everything, everywhere reminds her of music. She’s physically incapable of not thinking of a song, no matter the situation. It’s weird, but you get used to it.” Cameron laughs.

My mouth drops open. “It is not weird, asshole.”

Noah looks between Cam and me with confusion.

Cam rolls her eyes and I grow more self-conscious. “I said I was leaving, you offered to walk her home and, in her head, miss thang sang…?” She looks to me with an expectant eyebrow raised.

I laugh lightly, trying to calm my nerves before singing out of tune. “If you get there before I do, don’t wait up on me…”

“See.” Cam smiles at Noah. “That. The song has nothing to do with what we’re doing. In fact, it’s sad as shit, and she changes the words when needed, but the me going home thing was the trigger.” She shrugs. “Weird, but all Ari.”

Noah laughs and crosses his arms on the table, his biceps flexing as he leans forward, capturing my brown eyes with his crazy blues. “Earlier, you grinned at yourself and looked away when Trey set the pitcher down…”

My smile is wide, surprised he caught that. “Ever seen Grease?”

He nods, eyes full of wonder.

“At the dance, Doody, Sonny, and Putzie drop their pants to the camera.”

He shakes his head slightly, not quite picking up what I’m putting down, but my lifelong movie partner beside me begins cracking up.

I look to her and together we sing in a low baritone, “Blue moooon.”

Noah throws his head back, laughing, his blue eyes brightening by the second.

I grin, picking up my full glass of fresh off-the-tap Blue Moon and take a large drink.

Noah nods, resting his back into the seat, his eyes never leaving mine, never losing their intensity. “Go ahead, guys. I’ve got her.”

Seeming unsure, Cameron turns to me.

Tonight’s the first night I’ve ventured out, so I know she’s uneasy about me not coming back with her, but one look, and she knows I need to stay.

She nods, moving to her feet. “For the record, if Mason blows up my phone looking for you, I’m totally ratting you out.”

I laugh, nodding. “Fair enough, but I’m betting he’s pretty wasted by now.”

“As if there’s a level of drunk Mason Johnson could reach that would erase his need to know of where his precious twin is and what she’s doing.”

“Considering he has no idea I’m out with you right now, I’d say we’re good.”

“If you say so, still throwing you under the bus if it comes to that!” She blows me a kiss, then off they go.

Laughing, I watch them disappear, before facing forward again to find that Noah, while still leaning forward, has scooted to the center of his side of the booth and is watching me intently.

I let him, not shifting, or shying away from his thoughtful gaze.

Finally, he sighs and sits back, a sad smile tipping his lips.

“You slept with him.” His tone is low, gentle, and sure.

My mouth opens, denial on the tip of my tongue, but the words never come, the truth somehow marked in his gaze. It’s as if I even tried to lie, he’d know it.

So I don’t.

I nod.

Something indecipherable passes over him, and his slow nod follows my own, as does his recognition. “He hurt you.”

I dip my chin, pull in and release a deep breath, then look up. Something in Noah’s candid expression has me spilling all the things I’ve held onto for the last few months, things I didn’t want to tell Cameron because I didn’t want her to inadvertently take sides. It was hard enough for her to witness the change the summer had on me.

So when Noah asks me to start from the beginning, and I sense his sincere desire to understand, that’s exactly what I do.

I tell him about us as kids, and our interactions. I replay how, at my and Mason’s fifteenth birthday party, Chase beat up the guy who gave me my first kiss, saying he was an asshole who didn’t deserve it and then wouldn’t talk to me for two weeks. I share how on the night of our junior prom, Chase got drunk and pulled me into his arms on the dance floor, singing along to David Cook’s rendition of “Always Be My Baby” …all to pass me off when Mason came back.

I tell him how over the years, my feelings grew stronger than I meant for them to, and I sat back like the naive girl I clearly was, waiting for Chase to realize while explaining Mason’s take on everything. I don’t leave out any details from our time at the beach house, apart from our sexual experience, not Mason’s reaction nor Chase’s response.

I lay it all out, and not once am I hit with a feeling of judgment or pity by the man in front of me. It’s a strange sense of comfort.

“I mean the night before was heavy, we were mentally messed-up and exhausted, so I guess I should have known better, but I wasn’t thinking about what would happen later. Even if I had, it wouldn’t have changed anything at that moment.” No way would I have backed out. Not with the way Chase looked at me that night; he actually saw me, and even though it didn’t last past that, I’ll always have that one desperate look from him, his visible need for me. I’ll never forget the desire in his eyes that night.

“Looking back, I didn’t really handle the situation well.” My nose scrunches in thought. “Or at all, really. I was unfair, I’ve been unfair. I just… left and now…” I blow out a heavy breath. “Now I guess you could say I hide.” I peek at Noah.

As my downcast eyes lock with his, his bounce along my face, concern pulling at his own as mine gloss over.

“I never thought getting something you always wanted could be more painful than wanting but never having it. There really is no in-between.”

I’m not sure if it’s in my expression or laced in my tone, but Noah detects my self-reproach, and refuses to allow it.

“Juliet…” He speaks with a tender firmness, waiting for me to look up once more, and when I do, a single word slips past his lips, his expression leaving no room for argument. “No.”

At his pained, sorrow-filled whisper, the dam breaks.

“Ugh.” I look up at the ceiling, willing the tears away.

Noah curses, shifting from his seat, but I only look to him when he takes my hand and pulls me to my feet, gently wiping tears from my cheeks with the pad of his thumb, and leads me toward the door.

My feet are a little unsteady from the alcohol, but Noah keeps me grounded with his body.

We walk back to campus in silence and despite my leaving the place in tears, there’s no awkwardness to speak of between us.

Twenty feet in front of the brownstone building my dorm room is located in, Noah reaches out to grab my hand, halting my footsteps, and when my eyes find his, he nods his head toward the fountain.

With a light laugh, I follow his lead, lowering onto the cement edge beside him.

He angles himself, so he’s facing me, and after a moment of holding my bloodshot eyes with his own, he nods. “You didn’t tell him, did you?” he speaks softly.

“Tell him what?”

“That it was your first time,” he guesses.

A sharp pain knocks against my ribs, my attention dropping to the ground beneath my feet.

I shake my head, somehow not at all surprised by his perceptiveness.

“Shit,” he mumbles, then shifts closer to me. He lifts my gaze to his, leaving his hand to rest on my cheek. His forehead is pinched, torn between a few emotions I can’t quite name.

“Was he gentle?” He works hard not to frown; I can see it in the strain between his brows.

“Noah—”

“Tell me,” he quietly cuts me off. “Tell me, Juliet.”

His voice’s barely above a whisper now, and something in my chest warms.

This man, who I’ve met a total of three times, feels like the furthest thing from a stranger.

My lips curve up slightly, and I reach out, placing one hand on his chest.

“He was gentle. Maybe even too gentle.” I scoff a laugh. “He had no idea, but he treated me better than I could have asked him to. We have a complicated relationship, more so now, but he’d never hurt me.” I smile sadly. “Never intentionally anyway.”

Noah nods and brings his right hand up to cover mine on his chest.

“You know this has nothing to do with you, right?” he stresses. “This is all him and his uncertainties.”

When all I offer is a twitch of my lips, his eyes narrow slightly.

He squares his shoulders. “Trust me, I’d bet he’s just scared and doesn’t know what to do.”

“He doesn’t see me, Noah. Not like I wanted him to.”

“He sees you.” Noah’s steady gaze floats across my face. “How could he not?”

His sweet words have me pushing down an airy feeling in my stomach, but he’s wrong. Thinking that way is what got me into this mess.

“He loves and respects me the way I do Brady, the way Cameron does him, but that’s all.” I shrug. “I get it, but it still sucks, and it’s taking longer than I wish it would to come to terms with that fact.” I reach down, running my hand through the fountain water beside us. “I’ll get over it and hopefully, our friendship will make it once I do. It has to, for my brother and the others. For us too, I guess.”

Noah’s quiet for a few moments before he speaks. “This is why I haven’t seen you at the house.”

Not a question.

I grin at the water, admiring the way the moonlight beams through. “Been looking for me, huh?” I tease, tossing his words from the bonfire back at him.

“Yeah.”

His instant response has my gaze flying to his.

We sit there, staring at one another for a moment, and then suddenly, Noah jumps to his feet.

“Come on, Juliet.” He holds his sturdy hand out. “Let’s get you home. You mixed whiskey and beer tonight. Your head’ll be killing you come morning.”

I groan and allow him to pull me to my feet. Noah insists on walking me all the way to my door, so I ignore the nosy rosies in the halls as we pass.

Love how it’s totally normal to be up at three in the morning in college.

“You’ll be all right tonight?” He leans against the frame as I unlock the door.

I grin, slipping in and using the door as leverage. “I’ll be fine.”

A small frown slips over his face, but he nods.

“I really needed tonight. Thank you for… you know, all of it.” I glance away, heat sneaking up my cheeks. I can’t believe I unloaded all my problems, but Noah erases the unease swimming in my stomach.

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about.” He stares at me a moment, his low exhale following not long after, and he takes a step back. “Do me a favor and drink some water before bed tonight.”

My head falls to the frame. “How is that doing you a favor?”

He cocks his head the slightest bit, making me smile.

“I will, swear.”

Satisfied, he backs away. “Night, Juliet.”

I lift my hand, and once I close the door behind me, I only have a single thought.

I wasn’t ready for him to go just yet.