Saving Kinsley

Kinsley's P.O.V

I could feel the emptiness inside my chest where all the pack ties of Haven once were. I sank to my knees as I hung up the phone, sobs escaping. I hated this feeling. Even though my heart had already been ripped into pieces by Kole, I at least had the strength from my pack ties to pull from. Now I had to heal my own wounds.

I collected myself after a few minutes. It had to be done, it was safer this way. I had too many demons that were putting the pack at risk. I couldn't have that blood on my hands.

Exiting the office, Ian was leaned against the wall with a sad smile on his face, "That was a tough call to make, are you okay?"

I noted the concern in his voice, "Yeah, I think I'll be okay."

The night was full of tossing and turning as I fought to sleep. Eventually, I threw the blankets off and wandered outside to the balcony.

The fresh air was welcoming as the sounds of the moving river below soothed my senses.

It was late into the night, the moon high in the sky as I looked into the river. Tears slipped past my eyes, I'd give myself this moment and no more after this.

I moved from the balcony, bare feet padding down the stairs that led closer to the river. My feet slipped into the cool water, a breath leaving my body.

I curled my body over my knees as I silently sobbed.

I had a pack. A mate. A second chance mate.

Now I had none of those.

I gained a family I had no memories of. At this moment I felt so out of control, adrift, and alone.

Arms wrapped around me, "For years I was so angry that my sister was stolen from me. And then I was just sad. Eventually, I came to terms that I wouldn't be able to share milestones with you. I wouldn't be able to tease you. And I would never get the chance to be the overbearing, overprotective big brother. I think what I was the saddest about was that I wouldn't have you in my life." Cassius spoke softly as he hugged me tighter to him.

"I know how you feel right now, but you're not alone Kinsley. You'll never be alone again." He stated firmly, his grip on me tightening.

I felt his words to my soul. I sat up, wiping the tears from my face as they began to slow, "I spent a lifetime being alone. I'm scared, Cassius. Every time I get close to having what I want the most, It's ripped away."

Cassius hummed lightly as he looked over the river. For a while, we sat in silence together.

Cassius stood, brushing the leaves from his shorts, "Come on, It's late you need to rest. We got work to do tomorrow." He cracked a light smile as he lent his hand out. I cried all the tears I needed to, now it was time to move past the hurt feeling and focus on what mattered.

Returning to the house, I walked back to my room, collapsing on the bed. A heavy breath left my lips as I closed my eyes. I fell fast asleep, nothing but darkness welcoming me into its embrace.

I woke to a light tapping noise against the door, "You awake? Mom's making breakfast before we start our day." Cassius poked his head through the door.

I yawned, "Uh, yeah. Give me five?" Cassius nodded his head and closed the door.

I wandered to the bathroom, washing my face and throwing my hair into a messy bun.

Exiting the room, I moved up the stairs, "Morning." I called out when I rounded into the kitchen. The table was set up with four plates, a breakfast spread already laid out. "Good morning Kinsley, how did you sleep hun?" Alexandra greeted me with a bright smile.

"Good thank you. This looks amazing, can I help with anything?" Alexandra waved her hand, "No, no, sit and eat."

Cassius and Ian entered the kitchen. Ian took the head seat, Alexandra sat to his right and Cassius sat on Ian's left. I sat at the opposite side, facing Ian.

Ian leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Alexandra's cheek, "Looks delicious love" Cassius let out a groan. I smiled when Alexandra shot Cassius a glare. "One day when you find your Mate, Cassius, you'll understand."

"Yeah, yeah." Cassius spoke as he rolled his eyes.

We ate in comfortable silence. Once finished, everyone placed the dishes in the sink, I began to pick up what was left of the meal. "Kinsley go ahead, I can take care of this." Alexandra smiled as she grabbed the dishes from my hands.

"Come on, I've got a perfect spot for this." Cassius waved me over through the sliding glass back door. I followed as he led us down the steps off to the side of the house. A short distance walked, and we were entering a clearing. Cassius sat on the ground, the river at his back.

"Sit." He waved next to where he sat.

I sat and crossed my legs as he had.

"Close your eyes. Focus on your surroundings."

I did as he said.

I could hear the river trickling behind us, with a few splashes from the water crashing against the rock. The Forrest in front of us was singing with birds, the wind lightly moving through the leaves of the trees.

"Now focus on your breathing. Slow and steady." Cassius's deep voice was soft as his words carried over the light breeze.

I pulled in a lung full of air, and slowly released it. I repeated it, each time I became more relaxed.

"Good, now I want you to focus on your wolf. Feel her."

I continued my relaxed breathing as I reached inward, Ember was below the surface. I could feel she was as relaxed as I was.

"Okay now remember how you reached your wolf. Your going to do the same with Vesta, but don't delve too deeply. Just enough to sense where it is."

I furrowed my brows as I concentrated a little harder. I've never done this unless I absolutely needed to. Or I just lost control.

Instead of reaching for willow, I focused on the warmth. I could feel a flip inside myself, Ember was further out of reach, where Vesta was front and center now.

"Okay now open your mind and try to communicate with Vesta like you do your wolf."

I let out another breath

My mind was blank as the sounds from my surrounding became just a whisper in my head.

Vesta.

I hesitated as I called out to the flame inside of my head.

I waited, just about to give up when my body grew warmer.

What is it that you want, Kinsley.

I drew my brows in tighter as the disembodied voice sounded inside.

Cassius brushed his hand lightly across my hand, "Okay, now that Vesta has surfaced pull it closer. You need to create the bond now."

I closed my eyes tighter, focusing on the voice. I pulled the warmth closer, allowing it to come closer to the surface. The warmth shifted further away as I struggled to pull it upwards.

"It's not working. I can't do this."

"Feel the warmth through your veins. Each breath you take is the oxygen needed to stoke that fire that's in you. Feel it Kinsley. Allow it to build, let the warmth of that very fire inside you wrap around you." Cassius encouraged from beside me. I did as he said, continuing to pull in deep steady breaths. Picturing the raging inferno inside swelling.

Now you want to bond? You shoved me to the deepest parts of your soul, only allowing me to surface when it suited you.

I didn't mean to. I didn't know what was happening to me. I wasn't prepared for this, I'm sorry.

The voice hummed inside before my body was completely engulfed in heat.

"It's working! Keep going!" Cassius's voice sounded like it was far away, muffled.

I broke down the last barrier inside my mind, and it felt like a band snapped in place, heat covering every inch of me. I winced as my shoulder stung with searing pain, biting back a scream, I could feel something forming on my skin.

Now we are one.

"Alright Kinsley, now you need to reach to your wolf side and pull her up too. Don't let go of Vesta. When you have them both to the surface, Shift."

Goddess, that sounded complicated. I rolled my shoulders back and searched for Ember inside.

Here goes.

I let out a breath as I yanked on my bond with Ember pulling her upwards. My head felt crowded as Ember let out a light growl.

I pictured myself on all fours, I pictured the fur of my auburn wolf as I held onto Vesta.

My bones cracked and reformed back to human. Ember let out a roar as I tried to force the shift. My body continued to climb hotter, and hotter.

"I- I can't do this." My voice was gravelly as I struggled to shift.

I opened my eyes as Cassius leaned down in front of me, "Don't let go, you're almost there."

God's I felt like my head was on the verge of exploding.

"It's not working. How do you usually call to Vesta?" Cassius's voice grew concerned.

"I don't. It either consumes me, or I'm angry enough to blackout." I panted out as my body shook.

Cassius let a breath, "Shit okay. We need to find a middle ground."

I growled as the heat started to become unbearable.

Let go, I need to take over or this is going to end badly for us.

I took in one last breath, relaxing, I fell to the back like I would when Ember was in the forefront.

Blackness crawled into my vision.

"Kinsley"

"Kinsley, are you in there?"

My eyes snapped open as harsh breaths escaped me.

I looked down expecting to see my hands, instead, I gasped as I was greeted with paws completely engulfed in fire.

"Woah, it's okay Kinsley. You've shifted to your final form. You fucking did it!" Cassius's face lit up with a large smile as he stepped back taking in my form.

I needed to see.

My paws pounded against the ground as I raced to the river's edge to see.

My jaw fell open at the watery reflection. My entire wolf was lit up in flames, like a Pheonix. But instead of being the fire bird that ruled the air, I was a blazing beast of fur and teeth that commanded the heat from the earths core. That much I could feel in my veins. The flames danced across my auburn fur, like a roaring fire in the dead of winter.