Saving Kinsley

Kinsley's P.O.V

One second he was here, the next he was gone. What did he mean he can't lose control with me? I shook my head, frustrated I had even been that impulsive. The mate pull always had its way of blurring the lines. I let out a groan as I collapsed backwards on the bed.

Or was I just a bad kisser?

Another groan left me, that's an even worse thought. I was so confused, but at the same time I felt so light. I could still feel the phantom feeling of his lips pressed to mine.

There was no way I'm going back to sleep. My thoughts were running rampant now. Was he worried he was somehow going to hurt me? The other thing gnawing at the back of my mind was that dream he was having. What could possibly cause that much trauma to reflect into his dreams?

With a puff of air leaving me, I gathered myself from the bed in search of something else to wear. In mid stride towards Kole's closet, a knock tapped lightly against the door, "Um, yeah?"

"Hi, it's me, Sienna. I figured you may want to wear clothes that may be more suiting to you?" She questioned from the other side of the door.

I recognized her kind voice, "Oh thank Goddess." I whispered as I neared the door.

Sienna chuckled as I opened the door, "Here you go sweetie, come down for coffee when you're ready?"

"Thank you Sienna." I said as I took the clothes from her with a smile and shut the door.

I tugged the jeans on and threw the shirt over my head, surprisingly they fit well. The black shirt clung comfortably to my body, but didn't restrict my movements. The light washed jeans hugged my curves perfectly.

Leaving Kole's room, I made my way down the hall, trying to remember which direction the Kitchen was.

"Damnit Mason, get your paws away from the bacon! You act like you're half starved!" Sienna's voice carried down the hall, and faintly, I could hear skin slapping against skin. A smile cracked across my face, somehow, I could just picture someone being swatted at by her.

I crept into the kitchen just as Sienna whirled around "Mason I swear to mother moo-" She stopped her hollering when she realized it was me.

"Oh Kinsley! I thought it was Mason back to terrorize my kitchen again. I swear that boy will be the death of me." She snarled, but I could see the fondness etched into her features. From what I've picked up on, she seemed to be like a mother figure around here.

I took a seat at the center Island, the second I made myself comfortable, Sienna was already passing me a cup of coffee and plating up food. The smell of bacon wafted to me in droves, followed by eggs and I could hear the sizzle of toast in the toaster.

I gripped the mug in my hands, warmth instantly covering my hand. I sipped at the coffee, "Do you need help with anything?" I asked as I watched her move from spot to spot in the kitchen. "No, No, you just sit and enjoy Hun." She smiled as she placed the food in front of me. Moments later she disappeared around the corner carrying plates to another room.

Seconds later I could hear her holler, "Breakfast!"

I nearly jumped when I heard a stampede of feet from every direction. Sienna came back into the kitchen, "Animals they are."

I clamped my mouth shut as a chuckle slipped out. "So, you and Kole?" Her brows waggled as she sat next to me. Sienna was older, but not by much, and I could tell being here did not age her. Regardless of the hollering, she seemed to enjoy it. That alone put me at ease being somewhere unfamiliar.

A blush creeped up my neck at her suggestion as flashes of Kole's lips to mine blinked through, Clearing my throat, "Mates? Yes. Mated? No." I answered. It wasn't news to me to know that most shifters usually mated the second they were left alone.

Sienna chuckled with a soft sigh escaping her, "Oh thank the Goddess. That man has not had it easy, and I get a feeling neither have you." She side eyed me as she took a drink of her coffee.

I nodded, but a response never came out as a brown haired, blue eyed man came barreling from the other room with a whimper. My initial reaction was to jump from the chair at the thought of a threat this close to the pack house, but then I shook my self out of that feeling when he moved closer with a pout, "It's all gone. They've devoured everything in sight. Please tell me there's more."

Sienna chuckled, "That depends, did you do what I asked?"

He groaned, "Yes, can I eat now? I'm withering away."

"Oh you act like you weren't in here stealing food as she cooked. I know you were Mason." Kole's voice came from the doorway with a chuckle.

"I'm still hungry." Mason grumbled as he stalked in the kitchen. Sienna sighed with a small smile, and moved to the oven where two plates had been piled with food. Masons eyes immediately lit up. "You're my favorite Sienna."

Kole took a spot next to me, as he sat his leg brushed against mine, my body responded by leaning in closer. "Sleep okay? Sorry for leaving abruptly, had to take care of something." He whispered next to me.

Turning slightly to catch a glimpse of him, "I did. It's fine, don't worry about it." I gave him a light smile as I finished my food. Warmth took up the area on my other side, "So you're the one unlucky enough to be mated to that one." Mason bumped my shoulder playfully as he shot a wink at Kole.

Watching the two of them banter back and forth playfully for a while reminded me of myself and Noah. We were always at each others throats, but I'd die for my pack mate. A pang hit my chest at the thought, I missed all of them.

"Walk with me?" Kole lightly grasped my hand, his thumb running over my knuckles.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere quiet, where we can talk just the two of us." He smiled down at me.

Dark thoughts threatened to cloud me, and I fought them back. The sincerity in his gaze told me it really was just that, to talk. It was different then when Dakota had ripped my heart out and left me in the woods to suffer with my own heartbreak. Kole was different.

Soon I recognized the oasis I had stumbled upon last night. Kole kicked off his shoes and placed his feet in the water as he patted a spot next to him. "I figured a new pack might be a little overwhelming. That and everyone's curious about you, so I know this is the only place we have a chance for us to talk." He laughed as he shook his head.

A little bit of that darkness drifted away as I sat next to him, looking over the calm water. I willed myself to be as calm as the water surface before me. That other shoe wasn't going to drop, I could let my guard down for once. "Yeah it is. But not in a bad way. You all seem close, that's different for me from the pack I was raised in, it's a nice change to see."

"How's this different from yours?" Kole asked as he looked over to me. His green eyes danced with curiosity. I'm sure his thoughts were no where near what I was about to say.

I sighed as I turned my gaze from him and back to the water. I knew eventually I'd have to trudge up my back story, and I wish the years erased the feeling of suffering I still had rooted inside. "The pack I'm in now, is much like yours. We all share a close bond. But some of us have a slightly stronger bond, and I think it's what we endured from our first Pack."

I closed my eyes as I continued, I desperately wanted to change the topic, but it was best to get it all out on the table now. "The Alpha, he allowed the lower ranking members to be abused. He willingly turned a blind eye to it. Like some of my pack mates, I experienced that abuse. That pack only cared about power, it was never about the bond with pack mates. Only power."

Kole growled lowly, "They harmed you?"

I nodded, "But I escaped. So did a few others." My mind went to Noah and Vivi, and lastly Dakota. He had been the only one who didn't leave with us. I didn't harbor any feelings for him anymore, but I still wondered what had happened to him. A part of me felt guilty even, I should have made sure we all left together. Regardless of him rejecting me, I'd never wish the torment I know that pack is capable of on anyone especially to experience it alone like I have.

Kole's arms pulled me into his chest, squeezing me tight enough to feel the thump of his racing heart against my ear. I squeezed his arm, "I'm alive though, and so are my friends. That's all that matters now." A stray tear slipped passed my eye as I tried to blink them back, I hadn't realized how much of my emotions I was holding back until now. In the comfort of his embrace.

That fear, of not knowing if I would take another breath ran rampant through my veins. The loneliness gripped my chest like a vice, scared that I would die there alone. Kole squeezed me harder, "I'm sorry. I know that doesn't change it but, no one deserves that, my heart hurts for you Kinsley."

Kole pulled back slightly, lifting my head, his fingers moved from my jaw line to the jagged scar at the base of my neck. His warm fingers trailed lightly over it, "And this?"

I had almost forgotten about that scar. I hadn't thought about it in a long time. But I understood how he didn't miss it. He probably noticed it the moment I shifted to my human self for the first time in front of him.

"That one is from a Rogue when I escaped that pack the first time." I smiled slightly. That night also brought me to the Brook's. I owed so much to them. I wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for them.

Kole nodded, His fingers moved up the back of my shirt, this should've been an intimate moment, but I know what his fingers are searching for. His fingers stopped at the scar on my back, "This?" His voice was gravely, and low.

"From an attack by multiple wolves. Before the last time I escaped." That scar alone reminded me of so many things. My hands shook at the thought. That was the first time I had ever taken a life outside of a Rogue wolf. That I would carry with me for the rest of my life. Right before I was stabbed in the back, clinging to life from all those wounds combined.

Kole sighed, "You deserve so much more than that Kinsley. You'll never be harmed again."

I nodded as I sank into his arms, letting his warmth envelop me. After a while, I finally sat up. I hated that I had to ruin these moments with him because of my dark past. But this is what I always wanted, wasn't it? Someone to bare my entire soul to. Kole was quickly breaking my walls down, and it seemed like it was effortless on his part. And that terrified me.

The feeling inside of me was unnerving, setting me on edge. Nothing in my life ever went right, my life was only destined for pain and trauma. I wish so badly I could push these feelings aside, but it would go against everything I've ever known.

I looked over at Kole, Please, don't be the one who ruins me. I thought as my gaze slipped over his features, Green eyes that held so much unknown inside, maybe enough to even break the last surviving fragments of my heart.