Revolt: Chapter 35
It’s been a while since I’ve gotten ready for a date. Tucker and I went on many, but they were usually very public affairs, and more often than not, they were set up for the paparazzi. This is real, and I’m a little nervous, which is silly since I practically live with the guys and have already slept and bonded with them, but dating is so . . . formal. It’s a huge step for me, since I never thought I wanted to be here again, giving someone the power to hurt me.
Raff Jr. barks happily as he chews on one of my expensive heels, watching me struggle.
Peering into my closet, I gnaw on my lip. Raffiel told me what time to get ready and that they would sort out the details. Usually, I use my name to get us in somewhere, so it’s kind of nice not to have to think about it. They are taking care of me, which they seem to love doing, but it also means I have no idea what to wear.
The shelves overflow with dresses and pants, yet I’m standing in my black lace thong and bra, completely unsure. I’m always so confident, especially now, but they leave me like this, raw and unsure. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, but I guess only time will tell.
“Raff?” When there’s no answer, I stick my head out. “Dal? Cil? Astro?”
Nothing. Fuck.
I’m just stepping out of the closet when Cillian walks in. He grins when he sees me. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m good with that look, baby, but we don’t like to share, so may I suggest clothes?”
“Can you at least tell me where we’re going so I know what to wear?” I prop my hand on my hip as I pout at him.
“Nope, that face doesn’t work on me, beautiful.” He chuckles. “And I’m not telling. We worked hard on this. You will look beautiful in whatever you wear, but I would suggest a nice dress.”
“Thank you!” I rush to him and kiss him softly, only for him to grip my hip and deepen the kiss. His hand slides low, gripping my ass and pulling me to him. I grip his shoulders as his other hand tunnels into my hair. He dominates my mouth before suddenly pulling back. He’s breathing heavily as he grins, leaving me blinking and shaking.
“Get dressed, beautiful, and I’ll see you downstairs.” He turns and leaves.
My hand drifts to my mouth as I stand there, wide-eyed. Never have I been kissed like they do it. It’s addictive, and every time they do it, I find myself weaker and desperate for more. I realize I’m just standing here, and so I hurry to the closet.
Cillian said a dress. Picking out a tame number, I slip it on over my head, letting the silk fall across my body. It has a low-cut, plunging neckline to show off my chest. It’s also backless with a slit up the thigh, yet it remains classy. I turn in the mirror, watching the way the deep red shimmers black in some light. Pairing it with my black Louboutins, which lace up my thigh, I quickly style my hair so some hangs down while other bits are pinned up. I smoke my eyes out and add dramatic lipstick. I might dress up for them, but I don’t change who I am, and they seem to like that. Popping a leather jacket on my shoulders, I call it good and grab a matching bag before I head down to see them.
I find them waiting at the bottom of the stairs, and my mouth goes dry at the sight. Astro winks at me, running his eyes up my legs with a groan. Wearing a deep green shirt with black slacks, he looks like a fucking supermodel, especially with his hair slicked back. Cillian is next to him, wearing tweed patterned slacks with a white shirt rolled back to his elbows, his red hair styled. Dal is in a suit, as always, but he has a red tie on, as if to match me, and looks absolutely incredible as those cold eyes rake over my form. Raffiel is waiting by the door, looking at a black watch, but when he hears the others, his head snaps up and his jaw actually drops. He holds out his hand to me, and I grin as I place mine in his and let him pull me closer. In a black suit, black shoes, and a gray shirt, he is totally sexy. His eyes eat me alive as he tugs me closer, his bare palm warming my back as he dips his head and kisses me hard. When he pulls away, his eyes sparkling, I giggle and wipe his mouth. “Lipstick.”
“Leave it.”
Grinning, I do just that as he leads me out to the car. Astro trips over himself to open the door and bows as I draw closer. “My lady,” he says.
Shaking my head, I climb in, gasping when a hand snakes under my dress. I turn back to see him grinning innocently at me.
“Perv.” I pout as I slide into the farthest seat. Cillian climbs in by my side, but then the other door opens and Dal slides in, picking me up and dropping me onto his lap without a word.
“Seat belt. Think of safety,” Raff snaps, and I turn to see Dal staring at him, his gaze hard and cold.
“You think I would ever let anything happen to her?” Dal retorts. “I would break my body before she was ever hurt in this car.”
Raff shuts the door and climbs into the driver’s seat, while Astro takes the passenger seat. We drive out of the gate and cameras instantly begin flashing, but they can’t see us in the back, so I relax into Dal’s chest, resting my head on his shoulder as he slides his hand under my dress and strokes my bare thigh, gripping me tightly.
“You look ravishing,” he murmurs to me. “If it were up to me, I would have ripped this off you and fucked you on the stairs, but I know this is important to you.”
“Thank you.” I blush slightly, meeting Cillian’s sparkling eyes. He winks at me.
“Good choice, beautiful. You could wear a trash bag, though, and look incredible, but tonight? Tonight, I’ll be thinking of nothing more than when I can get you home and to bed,” he promises, licking his lips as he watches me.
I look away before I let them, my pussy clenching in need like it always does around them. “Later,” I promise. “If you’re good boys.”
“Oh, baby, I’ll be so good to you,” Cillian flirts.
“I don’t know. I’m starving,” I tease, leaning into Dal.
“So am I,” Dal rumbles, shocking both me and Cillian as we turn to him. He grips my pussy, making me yelp. “You’ll be my dessert.”
“See what you’ve done, Rey? You’ve made him make jokes!” Cillian booms, making me grin, but I freeze at the nickname. Dal feels it, even if Cillian doesn’t notice, leaning around to tell the others about Dal flirting and making a joke.
“I’m not offended, if that’s what’s wrong,” Dal whispers to me.
Without looking at him, I shake my head, and I feel him working through what Cillian said. He always sees too much. “Was it the nickname?” He sounds confused.
“My brother used to call me that. I just haven’t heard it from many people in a really long time. It’s okay. Was just a shock.”
He watches me carefully, and I know he will probably have a word with Cillian later, but I can’t find it in me to care. I move back into his embrace as I stare out of the window. Astro puts on music and sings along off-key until Cillian joins in, and surprisingly, so does Raff and Dal. It brings me out of my thoughts and memories and I laugh, which only makes them sing louder.
I know they are doing it for me, and my heart melts. Another wall cracks and falls, exposing me to them, and whatever they see, they smile at.
We pull up outside of a restaurant that’s so exclusive, even I haven’t gotten to visit yet. Astro runs around, unwilling to let the valet open the door. Cillian gets out first, checking the area, before they both offer me their hands. Laughing, I let them pull me out, and I wink at the valet whose eyes bug out of his head.
Raff slaps some bills into his hand. “Leave the car there. No one touches it. And if I find out that you post anything about her being here online, I will end you.” The poor kid almost faints as Raff offers me his arm. “Shall we, Miss Harrow?”
“Let’s.” I let him guide me through the frosted black doors and into another world. This restaurant is brand new and has a great view of the city. There is no waiting area; you simply emerge right into the restaurant that has tables on different levels, with windows covering the entire outside that look out but not in.
Something is amiss though.
There is no one else here. “Raff?” I turn to him, and he grins.
“You wanted a date, my love, so you get one, but only the best for you. I wanted you to be able to be yourself without prying eyes or questions,” he explains as he leads me through the restaurant like he knows the way.
“How?” I peer around with wide eyes.
“You’re not the only one who knows people.” He chuckles as we come to the middle table, which has been decorated with black roses and peonies. Astro hurries to pull out my chair, and when I sit, Cillian pushes me in, kissing my head. Dal lays a napkin on my lap before they all take their seats. All four of them look at me. It’s unnerving but also so addicting. They watch my every move, my every reaction as I look around, and I can tell they are excited for this but also nervous.
“It’s amazing,” I say, and they all seem to breathe a sigh of relief. “I’ve always wanted to come here.”
“Good.” Astro reaches over and takes my hand, kissing the back of it.
“Shit, I should have sat next to her because then I would get her hand,” Cillian grumbles. Dal is on my other side, with Cillian and Astro opposite. Grinning, I slide my legs under the table and lay them on Cillian’s lap. He grins, gripping them as Raff shakes his head, but he’s smiling at me lovingly.
“You can relax here, Reign. We made sure of it. No rules tonight. This place is all ours, and we plan to spoil you, starting now.”
Two waiters in black tuxedos appear at my side. They don’t meet my eyes at all. In fact, they don’t even look at me, as if they were told not to. They pour me a glass of red wine, and the others have water, making me pout, but I understand. “First course will be served soon,” one says before they disappear.
Soft, sensual music sounds through the speakers as I look around in awe, taking the wine glass with my other hand. I still wonder how they managed this. I know some celebrities who couldn’t even get on the list for the next year, and somehow, my men managed to clear the entire place on the busiest night of the week.
Fuck, power is sexy.
Cillian’s hand slides up my legs, and I meet his gaze with an arched brow.
“Behave, Miss Harrow,” Raffiel admonishes. “We won’t touch you until we have wooed you. You wanted a date, so you get the best one of your life.”
My eyes widen when plates suddenly appear before us, and just as quickly, the waiters are gone again. I don’t even know what’s on my plate but I begin to eat, moaning at the taste that explodes in my mouth. It’s only two mouthfuls, and once I’m done, I look up to see them all watching me. Instantly, four plates are shoved toward me. Laughing, I take theirs and eat them as well, moaning again.
“Can we negotiate on the no touching rule?” Astro asks, tugging at his collar.
“Miss Harrow,” Raffiel says, but he’s grinning.
“Whoops.” I wink as the waiters come to clear the plates.
“Was that course okay?”
I look up to see a male waiter grinning down at me, with bright blue eyes and surfer boy hair. He’s so very young.
“It sounded like you enjoyed it.” He drops his voice an octave as he leans down to get the plates.
“Oh, it was magnificent,” I respond, but when I look up, the guys’ expressions are as hard as nails, and I slide back on the chair at the venom aimed at the waiter who seems completely oblivious to the tense atmosphere. His eyes sweep along my body.
I just stare, unsure what to do or say, when Raffiel drops his napkin on the table before him.
“Miss Harrow, could you close your eyes for a moment?” Raffiel instructs.
I peer up at the waiter then back at Raffiel.
“Reign, close your eyes now,” he snaps, losing his patience.
I close my eyes and hear a thud. They snap open, and I gasp, seeing the now unconscious waiter being dragged away, yet none of the guys seem to have even moved. “What . . . Is he dead?”
“We are not animals.” Astro laughs. “But he will have a really bad headache.”
“He’s lucky I didn’t pluck his eyes from his head for daring to even look at you,” Dal warns.
Raffiel nods like he agrees as I shake my head. “Insane, all of you are fucking insane.”
“No, Reign, we are possessive. You are ours. Ours to guard, to fuck, and to love, and that’s exactly what we’ll do. Now eat your food.”
Well, shit.
“He’s right, you know,” Astro murmurs, and I see a flash of red on his neck. Frowning, I tug at his collar to move it out of the way. He ducks, avoiding my touch, and I sit back.
“What is that?” I ask. “Are you hiding a hickey from me?”
“It’s nothing.” Astro lowers his head, and I tilt mine, watching him.
“She asked you a question,” Dal says.
“It’s nothing,” Astro replies, looking around, his face turning even redder.
“Astro?” Raffiel prompts. All eyes are on him.
He turns to look at me and then sighs. “I’m not trying to hide anything from you, I promise. It’s just something I wanted to show you alone.” Still blushing, he tugs his shirt aside and my eyes widen, unsure what I’m seeing. On his shoulder, at the base of his neck, is a red lipstick mark, and for a moment, jealousy and pain hit me. He must see it in my gaze because he reaches for my hand, and when I tug it away, he kicks my chair back and presses his legs on either side of me, gripping my chin. “Look at it.”
“Stop it. Why are you being cruel?” I snap, trying to tug myself away.
“Reign, look at it,” he orders. I feel the others looking, but they are relaxed, as if noticing something I don’t.
“Um, next course,” a waiter says hesitantly.
“Not now,” Astro snaps at the waiter without even looking. “Look at me, Reign. This is yours.” He takes my hand and covers it. “One of the first days I met you, you kissed my throat better. Remember? That very same day, I got it tattooed.”
Realization strikes me as I stroke the still healing tattoo, remembering exactly what he’s talking about. It’s even the same shade of lipstick. He got my kiss tattooed. My eyes meet his, searching them for answers—answers I’m not sure I’m ready for but probably need.
“Why?” I ask, peering into his eyes.
“You know why,” he murmurs.
“Why?” I demand, my heart pounding.
“Because I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you what you would become to me.” He covers my hand, smiling softly. “I know you’re not ready for that, and I know you’re still healing from the man who came before us, but I would never hurt you, Reign. I would never betray you. I’m all in, okay? All of us are. You never have to worry about that, and when you’re ready, we’ll be waiting. Until then, this is for me.” He kisses my hand and then guides me back to the table. “Now let’s enjoy our next course.”
Swallowing, I stare at the plate that appears in front of me, barely paying attention to what I eat. I feel their eyes on me, but I’m unable to meet them, too busy working through my emotions. There’s worry, as well as the need to run far and fast from something so serious, since my commitment issues are raising their ugly heads, but below it all is . . . glee.
He cares so much that he tattooed my kiss on his neck.
When have I ever felt such dedication and love from another person? I was with Tucker for years, and even moving in together was a carefully thought-out decision. It’s not like that with them. It’s real and almost feels like it was meant to be.
If I were a person who believed in destiny, I might even say these men were destined to be mine, which means I have a decision I need to make because Astro just admitted they are all in. I need to decide if I want that or want out, and now, before they get hurt. As I play with my food, my eyes go to them, and I realize I’m all in with them.
I want this. I want them.
Even if it terrifies me, I want what I see in their eyes. I want lazy mornings filled with laughter, I want to spend every night with them in my bed, and I want their comforting arms around me as I write my music. I want their strengths, and I want their pain. Wherever this takes us, I’m in.
“Okay,” I say, knowing they are waiting.
“Okay?” Astro turns to me.
“Okay.” I smile. “I’m in.”
The grin he gives me makes it worthwhile, and I giggle as they all whoop. I know I made the right decision.
There are several courses but luckily, the portions they present are small so I don’t get too full too early. I enjoy it, though, and they regale me with stories of their time together overseas. They make me laugh until it hurts. “I can’t believe you actually let him get away with that, Raff!” I chuckle and glance up to get Raff’s reaction to a story Cillian is telling, but my smile disappears when I notice he isn’t paying attention. He’s looking at his lap, and I realize he’s on his phone, completely oblivious. Shaking it off, I smile and turn back to Cillian, listening to him weave the tale.
When they all laugh, I turn once more to Raff to find him still on his phone. Frowning, I sip my wine. “So, Raff, what about you?”
“Hmm?” he replies distractedly.
“Any funny war stories?” I ask, sliding to the edge of my seat. For some reason, I need his attention on me. When he just shakes his head, I realize why. It’s what Tucker used to do to me. We would be out at dinner or on a date and he would spend the entire time on his phone, causing me to feel lonely and embarrassed. It made me feel like I wasn’t good enough company, and once more, that insecurity grows, even if the others are here.
I remind myself that he’s probably working, but as time stretches on and the others try to fill the gap his distraction creates, the worse it hurts and the angrier I get. Here’s a man asking me to be all in, telling me he will never hurt me like those before him, and he planned all this, yet now he’s on his phone like I don’t even exist. Work or not, it lets me know where his priorities lie, and it fucking hurts.
“Reign.” Dal tries to draw my attention away as they glance from Raff to me, but it’s too late. My mouth tastes sour, and ugly memories raise their ugly heads until I feel like that scared woman I once was.
I hate that, and I’ve come so far, so I do something I always wanted to do in this situation.
I stand, making the chair scrape across the floor, and drop my napkin on the table. Raffiel’s head snaps up, and he looks confused as he peers at me.
“I’ll be back, and then we can go since you are so busy.” I turn and walk to the bathrooms. I refuse to cry. I refuse to let them ruin all the progress I’ve made.
I push into the bathroom and slam the door shut, staring at myself in the mirror as I remind myself who I am. I’m Reign fucking Harrow. Fuck them. Fuck him. If he doesn’t want to be here, then he doesn’t have to be. He doesn’t get to hurt me like that, nor does he get to ignore me. A date shouldn’t consist of people being on their phones. Maybe that’s an old-fashioned way of thinking, but it’s what I want, and I refuse to accept any less, not even from Raffiel. Even if he was looking into my protection, it’s not okay.
The door opens, and my head snaps around. Raffiel storms inside, kicking the door shut. Backing up, I hold my palm up between us, and it hits his chest as he advances on me.
“Miss Harrow,” he begins, “you do not walk away from us.”
“Oh, fuck off, Raffiel.” His eyes widen. “I’m surprised you even noticed,” I spit before I realize that doesn’t help at all. I’m reacting, not explaining. “You were too busy on your phone.”
“Reign.” He sighs, reaching for me, but I duck under his hands and turn to him, refusing to let him smooth it over and make it all better like Tucker would. I feel what I feel, and I deserve that. I am allowed to be hurt. I am allowed to feel. No matter how pretty he is or how good he makes me feel, he doesn’t get to brush this under the rug with excuses.
“No, I don’t want to hear it, okay? Whatever your excuse is, it’s not good enough. I spent years in a relationship where I felt alone and isolated, paraded on dates only to be ignored, and it took me a long time to come back from that, yet the first date I go on since him, here we are again, and I feel ignored like that woman back then. No matter what you were doing, no matter how important it was, it doesn’t make it okay. This is my expectation in a relationship. I don’t ask for much, but if you can’t handle that, then fine. Good luck to you. I refuse to lower my standards for any man ever again. Not even you, Raffiel. Actions speak louder than words.”
“Then let me show you,” he snaps, angry now. “Let me show you exactly how dedicated I am and how goddamn proud I am of you for speaking up and setting your expectations. I’m sorry, and you’re right. There is no excuse. I will never let it happen again.” His expression is so sincere, and when he drops to his knees, my eyes widen.
“Raffiel, no.” I push him away. “You don’t get to just touch me to try to get me to forget. I’m angry, let me be angry. I need to consider if this is what I want.”
Sliding up my body, he grips my neck and slams me back into the wall. “Let me make one thing very clear, Miss Harrow. You get time, you get your feelings, but you do not get to threaten me with walking away when we both know that’s what it is—a threat. You said you are all in, and we are holding you to that. I made a mistake. It was in regard to your safety, but it was still a mistake. I am rusty at dating since I haven’t been on one since I was sixteen fucking years old, but never think for one single second that you are not my priority. If you want to see my phone and what I was doing, then you can. I was checking in with the staff to make sure everything I planned for when we get back is sorted, and I checked the cameras. I will never keep anything from you, but don’t ever threaten to walk away from me again. I don’t like games of manipulation. I made a mistake, and I apologize. I will make sure it will never happen again, but I am not that idiot Tucker, and I will prove that to you every single day from now on. Now, what can I do to make it up to you?”
I search his gaze. Is he right? Was it a threat to try and hurt him like he hurt me?
Yes.
I relax into his hold. “I don’t know,” I admit. I reacted so badly. Of course he was checking on my security. I should have known. He isn’t Tucker. I’m his entire priority, and he’s shown me that time and time again. I simply jumped to conclusions because of my past. I’m still not happy that he was on his phone on our date, but I can tell he will never do it again. He truly is sorry. I guess we are both rusty at this, and our pasts make it harder to work through.
“I don’t know,” I admit.
“No?” he purrs. “How about I kiss it better? How about I show you exactly how obsessed with you I am?”
“Raff,” I protest, but it dies on my lips when he drops to his knees, peering up at me with sincere, worshipful eyes.
“You are my everything, Reign, and something I didn’t even know I was looking for, yet I found you, and I’m never letting you go. I’ll spend my life on my knees for you if you’ll let me. I’ve served before, baby, but never the way I’ll serve you.”
“Raffiel.” I stumble back into the wall as his hands slide up my thighs and meet my hips, and then he stills, waiting for me to decide. I could say no and he would walk out of here holding my hand, willing to fight for us. Everyone makes mistakes, and I will probably make some too. I’ve been in relationships before, but never like this, and I realize it’s how we deal with those mistakes that makes the difference.
Do I still want Raffiel? Yes.
Do I still want this? Yes.
Am I scared? Shitless, but I’m Reign fucking Harrow, and I don’t let fear hold me back from what I want.
“Show me,” I order. “Show me that you want me. Show me that you’re sorry. Show me that . . .”
“That you’re mine?” he finishes with a wicked smirk. “Gladly, Miss Harrow. Now be a good girl and scream so they all know that you’re mine. I don’t like the way they look at you. If you knew what I wanted to do to that man who dared speak to you, Reign, you would be terrified.” He pulls my dress up, leaving me breathless. “It is not just Dal who would kill for you, Reign. I would as well. Remember that. I’m a weapon, and you are the trigger.”
His hands keep my dress gathered at my hips as he leans in, placing a kiss over my mound. I reach for him, tangling my fingers in his hair and mussing it. Kicking one leg over his shoulder, I smirk. “Prove it,” I taunt, still annoyed, but I know from the look in his eyes that I will be too tired to feel anything but pleasure when he’s done with me.
His dark eyes consume me, drinking me down. His suit is perfectly pressed, and every inch of him is perfect until I mess it up, and he loves it.
The man who craves control loves the anarchy I bring into his life, and he shows me how much as his mouth covers my pussy. The sight is so dirty, so goddamn sexy, it has me clenching, wanting him to fill me. My clit begs for attention, and like the good bodyguard he is, he rubs his nose along my clit as I groan. I tilt my hips to give him better access, and that’s when his hands tighten their hold, jerking me closer until he’s buried in my cunt.
His tongue darts out and circles my clit, rubbing hard, and pleasure slams through me as I cry out. I grind into his waiting mouth as his tongue slides down and thrusts inside me, fucking me as I grip my breasts and tweak my nipples.
My anger turns to blazing desire as I ride his face, using him as he replaces his tongue with his fingers and laps at my clit, circling and rolling it in his talented mouth until I’m breathing heavily, needing to come so badly.
“Raff,” I beg, everything else forgotten except his possessive touch and his dark eyes.
I will never escape Raff. It’s a good thing I don’t want to.
I can’t look away from him as three fingers rub inside me while his tongue punishes me, reminding me why I should forgive him and that no one can touch me like they can. He uses the knowledge against me until my leg shakes and I scream his name, my release exploding through me.
When it’s over, he catches me and places a kiss on my oversensitive clit as he pulls his fingers free, and as I watch, he rubs them across his lips. “In case you forget whom you belong to, you can look at me and know that I will be tasting you all night.”
Jesus fucking Christ.
He climbs to his feet, straightening his suit except for his tie. I reach out to straighten it, and he captures my hand, kissing it. “I like it like this, mussed like you.” I huff, and he grins, crowding me. “Forgive me?”
“I guess,” I say, but I can’t hold back my smile as my cum slides down my legs. “I might have overreacted.”
“No, you reacted right. I was in the wrong. You are allowed to feel however you want, and I always want you to tell me when I’ve messed up or hurt you, but never doubt that you are the center of my universe, Reign. In this life or the next, I would find you. They could pluck out my eyes and I would know it was you. They could take away my senses and I would still know your body, your heart. They could steal my words and I would still find a way to show you how much I care. They could put a fucking bullet in my skull, Reign, and I would still find a way to come back to you. You are my everything, and I will show you every day.”
I stare, speechless, as he leans in and kisses me, letting me taste my pleasure on his lips. “Now let’s get back to our date—the first of the rest of our lives.”