Chapter 18 - Returning to my rejected mate
Shay's Point of View
About an hour later us girls are laying on the picnic blankets watching the guys kick a ball around with Zayde.
"It's good to see them this relaxed. They've all been pretty stressed about these rogue attacks, none of them has been as bad as the last one but still, they did quite some damage and both packs have lost a lot of good people. They've been driving themselves crazy trying to figure out what's going on."
Megan says while she watches Jake.
"I don't understand these attacks. They keep getting bigger and more organized with every attack. I think first they were testing us. And now they're slowly trying to eliminate as many warriors as possible."
Megan frowns as she look at me.
"I haven't really thought about it like that but now that you mentioned it, I think you're right."
"I don't really know much about what has been going on, but do they have any lead?" Ashley asks looking at me and Megan and I shake my head.
"No, all leads have been dead ends."
Megan nods.
"Yeah, that's why they've been driving themselves crazy. They can't get any leads that pan out." "How is your mom doing?" Megan suddenly asks.
I shrug.
"She says she's okay, but I can see the toll it's taking on her. She doesn't really eat.. According to the circles under her eyes she doesn't sleep as well.."
I say softly.
"I can't even imagine what she's going through. If that was Jake.. I don't know how I'd get up every morning."
"I know what you mean. I only met Dan last night and just thinking about him getting hurt like that makes my heart clench."
Megan nods at her and we all look at the guys again, all lost in our own thoughts.
"So, what have you decided about Zane?"
I look at Megan and shrug again.
"I haven't decided anything. But seeing him with Zayde today.. It made me feel really guilty. Knowing I've kept them away from each other for 5 years. I know back then I thought it was for the best.. But thinking about it now.. Maybe I should've gone to him and told him about the baby."
"What did he say about you hiding your son?"
"We didn't really talk all that much, just yelled at each other a little. We still need to have a conversation about everything.. But I think he's kind of mad at me. He also wants us to try again."
Megan nods.
"Yeah I know, he told us. Do you want to try again?"
I sigh and run my fingers through my hair.
"I don't really know. I don't know if I'm over what he did, or if I'll ever be. What if I can't ever get myself to trust him again... He told me he'd wait for me.. I told him all I can give him right now is a relationship with Zayde."
"Zayde seems happy."
Ashley says looking at Zayde running up to Zane cheering about their goal, flinging his arms around his father's legs.
I smile as I look at them as well my heart beating faster when Zane bends down and hugs our
son.
I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing them together. Everytime Zane hugs him or smiles at him
my heart rates spikes, it make me feel things that I'm not sure I want to feel.
"Yeah he is. He just accepted him so fast. You know, I asked him why he's never really asked
about his father."
"What did he say?"
"He told me he didn't want to make me sad. That he saw talking about his dad made me sad and he didn't want that."
"Smart little boy." Ashley says with a smile and Megan nods her agreement, while rubbing her still flat stomach.
"So, how are you feeling?"
Ashley ask her and Megan gives us a soft smile.
"We're doing great. The pup is growing well according to the doctor and I haven't really been sick so all's good."
"Are you going to find out the gender?"
I ask and she shrugs.
"I don't know, Jake doesn't want to but I'm not sure."
I nod.
"Are you hoping for a specific gender?"
She shakes her head.
"No, as long as it's healthy it doesn't matter."
Ashley and I both nod at her.
"So Ashley, I see you've wasted no time in getting marked and mated, should we expect some
little Dan or Ashley's soon?"
Megan wiggles her eyebrows at Ashley while I smirk at the blush that crawls over her face.
"We haven't really talked about it. Last night kind of just happened. You know how it is when you find your mate."
"Oh do I.." I mumble a little bitter.
Ashley whips her head around to look at me.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything."
I shake my head and give her a smile.
"Don't worry about it. It's just me, that night still gets to me. I'm sorry."
"Well I know that night didn't exactly turn out the way you wanted, but you got a beautiful little boy out of it. And the moon goddess decided to bless you with the bond again, both of you have grown and changed in these five years. Maybe it was always suppose the turn out this way." Megan says and Ashley nods silently.
I frown thinking about her words. Maybe she's right. Maybe this was the way it was always supposed to turn out.
I shrug.
"Who knows, only time will tell right."
The guys start heading back our way and I make eye contact with Zane.
He gives me a smirk and I feel my cheeks heat up as my heart rate spikes again.
Ashley and Megan both snicker and I glare at them.
"What's so funny?"
Dan asks as he sits behind Ashley and kisses her shoulder.
Zane takes a seat next to me, a little closer than needed and my heart skips a beat again.
I see Megan opening her mouth but I speak before she can.
"Oh it's nothing. They're just beings annoying."
I say quickly, glaring at them, silently warning both of them to shut it.
They both just smirk at me before turning to their mates.
I feel Zane looking at me and I turn my head.
Those golden eyes suck me in again and for a moment I get lost in his scent around me and in
those eyes.
"Are you okay? You spaced out ther for a minute?"
I blush, tugging a piece of hair behind my ear.
"Yeah sorry. Just lost in thought. Did you say something."
He smirks at me, as of knowing he was the one distracting me.
"I said that we have to head back soon. I asked that if maybe you'd let Zayde come with us? Your welcome to as well."
"Yeah, no I think I'll pass. Last time I was at your's it didn't end so well."
I say a little sarcastically and he narrows his eyes at me.
"Really, you want to do that now? I already said I'm sorry. And I've told you it was a mistake."
I turn my head away and frown.
"Yeah I know. Sorry. I'll think about it on the way back and then I'll talk to Zayde."
He nods but doesn't say anything. I see him clenching his jaw.
"What?"
He shakes his head and moves away from me, only a little but enough to make me feel suddenly
cold.
"Nothing."
"Zane." I try to reach for his arm but he subtly moves it out of my reach and my heart clenches.
"We should probably head back, we still need to go back to our pack. I still have some paperwork to fill out."
Zane says and gets up. Jakes nods at him before helping Megan up and all of us start picking up the picnic stuff.
Zayde turns to Zane with a sad look.
"You're leaving?"
His voice sounds small and my heart squeezes.
Zane gives him a small smile and ruffles his hair.
"Yeah, I'm sorry buddy. But we have to go back to our pack, I can't stay here."
"Can we come with you? Mom?"
Both Zayde and Zane turn to look at me in I feel like a deer caught in headlights, not knowing
what to do.
Zane turns to our son first.
"Sorry, maybe another time okay?"
I see Zayde's bottom lip trembling but he nods slowly and when Zane picks him up he burries his
head into his father's chest, not even looking at me.
Zane moves past me with our son in his arms, not sparing me a second glance and I feel my heart clench again.
I'm not sure what happened but clearly I did something to upset him.
I sigh and follow behind them slowly. I guess I'll find out once we get back to the packhouse.