Reckless

The morning is fucking awkward. Blue balls aside, that is.

And while I’d love to pull Tori aside to apologize, she’s getting my daughter to smile for the first time since she got home from her mother’s, and I’d do almost anything to help Mila forget all the crap her mother screamed at me.

Tori’s sweet voice fills the kitchen as she ignores all the embarrassing shit that went down an hour ago and makes my daughter breakfast. As they’re serving it up, the front door opens, and Logan strolls in with Cody.

Pulling up a bar stool next to me, he whispers, “Medusa gone?”

I nod and sip my cold coffee before I reach for Cody. He’s a mess. Dried spaghetti sauce on his chin. Crusty God-knows-what on his clothes. Dinner from last night.

“Hey, stinker. Want some pancakes?”

My son claps and gnaws on his fist. I’ll take that as a yes.

“Tori, would you mind plating up something for Cody?”

“Coming right up.”

I’m a mess of frustration and anger, but watching Tori teach my daughter how to flip pancakes dials me down a notch, especially when Mila squeals with delight when she almost misses the pan.

My brother hangs around until we put the kids down for a nap. By then, I think I’ve figured out what I need to do.

When I reach Tori’s room, she’s sitting on the bed, her hair pulled up into a messy bun.

I rap my knuckle on the door frame. “Got a second?”

Her whole body tenses, but she looks up at me and nods. Without any makeup, it’s easier to see the shadows under her eyes.

You kept her up all night, asshole. And then slept out in the truck. Of course she’s tired.

“May I?” I point to her bed. When she nods again, I sit next to her and rub a hand over my face. “Not sure where to start here except to thank you for cheering up Mila. You could probably tell she heard her mom and me arguing.”

“No worries.” She blows out a deep breath. “I feel pretty responsible for what happened, so it’s the least I could do.”

It takes me a second to absorb what she’s saying. “You can’t be serious.”

“I was the reason you were out there this morning.” Her slender hands twist in her lap. “Then I had to open my big mouth and ask about making the kids breakfast when I should’ve kept quiet.” Groaning, she turns and buries her face in the comforter, mumbling something about her underwear.

Smiling, I rub her back. “You’re a sweetheart, you know that? And there’s nothing about last night or this morning that you should be embarrassed about. I’m the one who tracked you down at that bar and force-fed you carbs until you were putty in my hands. What can I say? I’m hard to resist when I break out the big guns.”

When she peeks over at me, I lift my arms and flex.

Her shoulders shake with laughter, and she rolls over onto her side. “Pretty confident there, aren’t ya, stud?”

How is it that she can look this beautiful in sweats and a t-shirt? “Just messing with you.”

Those big hazel eyes study me, and she gives me a shy smile. “I sorta like when you mess with me.”

Not sure why everything is so easy with this woman. I’d have never guessed this was the case when we first met.

Damn. That makes this even harder.

I look away, needing to keep my wits about me, and Tori makes it difficult to concentrate. Not to mention the sexual frustration that’s had me almost crawling out of my skin since we met.

“So, I, uh… need to ask a favor.”

When I glance back at her, she’s nodding. “Of course.”

Swallowing, I motion toward her. “Listen. I had a great time with you last night.”

God, I hate this.

The smile on her face fades.

“But?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper.

“But Allison leveled me with some pretty serious shit out there today. Like threatening to petition for custody of the kids when I know damn well she doesn’t want them.”

“Are you serious?” She sits up, her face reflecting the riot of emotions I’m feeling.

“Yeah. She wants me to fire you.”

“I’m not surprised.” Tori’s shoulders slump. “I understand needing to make your kids a priority, and if that means you need to find another nanny, I promise I won’t take it personally.”

I reach for her and pull her to my side. “I’m not firing you, babe. I told Allison she’d need a court order to make me do that, so unless you really did get arrested for snorting coke off a hooker’s tits back in the day, I think we’re okay in that regard.”

She chuckles and leans into me. “So… then?”

“So until I can see what Allison’s gonna do, what she’s gonna level at me on Tuesday at the courthouse and the fallout of what happened today, I think we should put what’s going on between us on the back burner. I need to talk to my attorney and figure out how to deal with her demands in a way that won’t set her off. I can’t have her freaking out in front of the kids again.”

Tori shocks me once more, wrapping her arms around my waist in a tight hug. “Whatever you need. I know Mila and Cody come first, as they should.”

I kiss the top of her head, hating that I probably shouldn’t even do that, but holding her is heaven, and the comfort of having her in my arms is overwhelming. “I’m so sorry,” I mumble in her hair. “I want you to know I really like you. I like being with you. Hanging out.”

Those words feel sorely inadequate, though I’m not sure how to phrase what this woman makes me feel.

“I like you too, Ethan.” Her chest rises in another heavy sigh. “But I understand.”

That’s good, because I’m not sure I do.