Reckless

Logan and I toil side by side the entire morning, grooming horse after horse. I should be shitting rainbows after seeing how well the kids have taken to Tori, but the phone call I got from my lawyer this morning put me on edge again.

My brother takes a swig of his water bottle and wipes the sweat off his brow. “So it’s set then? When you guys go before the judge in a few weeks, it’ll be a done deal? You’ll be divorced?”

I grunt, hating the looming court date.

That word. Divorce. Sounds so final. I guess it is.

The misery of the last two years weighs on my heart, the failure of it reverberating through my bones. This isn’t what I wanted for my kids. Splitting time between two houses. Me worrying if they left their clothes or toys behind. Wondering what they’re doing. Hating that I’m not with them. I may work a lot now, but I can check on them a dozen times throughout the day and hear their laughter when they’re playing in the yard.

“You want me to come with you to court?” Logan chugs another drink and then douses his face. “I could tag along.”

He’s acting like we’re talking about grabbing a beer instead of ending my marriage. I could use his support, though. “Yeah. Thanks.”

As I brush out the mare, it settles in—how out of reach my dream of riding cutting horses competitively has become. I’ll never be able to do it again, at least not when the financial future of the ranch is so uncertain. And definitely not while I’m still figuring out how to be a single parent.

What tears at my conscience is how much my father wanted me to get back in the arena, but I don’t see how I can make that happen with all of the responsibilities I’m dealing with right now.

With a grimace, I pinch the bridge of my nose. I can’t even drown my sorrows with a good bottle of whiskey ’cause I have so much shit to do.

We wash down one more mare before Logan breaks the silence. “Sandra keeps asking about you.”

I have no idea who he’s talking about, but he ignores my foul mood and keeps talking. “She’s that cute realtor we met at the Lone Star. The one who got divorced last year?” He sighs. “The one with the son?”

It takes me a minute but then I remember, mostly because I heard her ex was abusive, which pisses me off. I don’t understand how a man can hurt a woman.

Logan nods at me. “Want me to set you up? You’ve been a monk for too long, and this court date gives us the perfect reason to celebrate.” Using the words “celebrate” and “court date” in the same sentence make me cringe, but I know he’s pissed at Allison on my behalf. “Come on, bro. One beer. Maybe an appetizer. That’s it. Sandra’s a cutie, but if you’re not ready to ‘wham, bam, thank you, ma’am,’ I’m sure you could keep it casual.”

My brother, the romantic.

He nudges my arm, and I shrug him off. “Fine. One beer. Whatever it takes to get you to shut up.”

“Or even better, we could go to the coast for the weekend. Maybe when Allison is watching the kids.”

With everything I have to do around here, taking a weekend to act like I’m young and carefree is impractical. “How in the world would I pull that off?”

The words are barely out of my mouth when a little voice shouts, “Daddy! We brought you lunch!”

A huge smile lifts my lips before I’m done turning around. Standing in the open gate, with sunlight streaming behind them, are Mila, Cody, and Tori. Mila’s carrying a huge picnic basket, one my mother stores over the kitchen cabinets, while Tori bounces Cody on her hip and waves.

It’s such a rare treat to see the kids back here that I instantly feel the sadness from a minute ago start to lift.

Tori hoists my son higher in her arms. “Sorry to bother you, but Mila wanted to make you lunch.”

“It’s no bother. I’ll never turn away food.”

I kneel down to Mila’s eye level, and she throws herself in my arms like she hasn’t seen me in a week. Worry fills my heart, and my eyes connect with Tori, who gives me a look of understanding.

Her voice is soft. Comforting. “She’s having a good afternoon. She just misses you.”

Rubbing Mila’s back, I realize how hard this must be for her. Having my mom leave and a new babysitter take over the very next second. I should’ve planned this better and overlapped them more.

“Hey,” I whisper into my daughter’s hair. “You totally made my day.”

“Yeah?” When she pulls back, she wipes her eyes, but even though she’s emotional, she’s smiling.

“Yup. I was having a crummy morning, but then my favorite people stopped by.”

She looks up at Tori and leans toward me to whisper, “Tori made the food, but I helped.”

“I’m sure it’s delicious,” I say, watching how Tori averts her eyes when I look at her. “What’d ya make?”

Mila jumps up and down. “Sandwiches and salad.”

I’ll be starving again in an hour, but this sweet delivery fills me up in other ways. “Sure was thoughtful of you.” I wait until Tori looks at me to say those words to my daughter, so Tori knows they’re meant for her too.

I tell my ranch hands to take a break and corral my brood into the corner stall that’s been outfitted into a small office with an extra table.

Tori hands Cody to me, and I kiss his chubby belly and make him laugh while the girls set out the food. And holy shit, my daughter’s simple description of the meal doesn’t do it justice. Because Tori didn’t just make sandwiches and salad.

My mouth waters when I see the thick, succulent pieces of meat wedged between the lightly toasted slices of bread.

“You made a roast? And homemade potato salad?” My mom left a roast to thaw in the fridge before she left, and I guess there must’ve been a sack of potatoes somewhere in the pantry.

I’m almost tempted to say Tori looks embarrassed at the spread.

She tucks her hands in the back pockets of her cutoffs and nods. “That okay?” She glances up at me, her hair tumbling over her shoulders and hiding half of her face. “I probably should’ve asked first. There’s more than enough for you guys for dinner. If you don’t mind eating the same thing later.”

“This is amazing.” I get my daughter seated next to me and prop Cody on my lap while I dig in. Flavor explodes on my tongue with the perfect spices and just the right amount of mayo. The meat practically melts in my mouth.

I’m two bites in and halfway through a whole sandwich when Logan strolls up to our impromptu lunch.

“Did ya bring enough for me too?” he asks Tori, who is standing between me and Cody, helping him dig into a Tupperware of food that’s been cut into toddler-sized pieces. Shit. I should be doing that.

She tucks a long strand of hair behind her ear. “We brought plenty. I wasn’t sure how hungry Ethan would be, so if he doesn’t mind sharing…”

I’m tempted to growl and keep this for myself, except my brother has been busting his ass all day.

Nodding toward the empty chair across from me, I don’t bother to stop devouring my lunch.

He takes one look at the spread and wraps an arm around Tori and kisses the top of her head. “This fu— freaking rocks. You’re amazing.” Squeezing her harder, he looks at me. “Isn’t she amazing?”

Tori gives him a self-depreciating smile, and her cheeks heat.

I pause mid-bite, frozen with the very real desire to peel Logan off Tori with my fist. “Stop mauling the woman and sit your butt down and eat.” My attention darts back to Tori. “Yes, she’s amazing.”

She averts her eyes, like she’s at a loss for words. Interesting.

“You gonna join us?” I peek in the basket and notice the last of the oatmeal cookies my mom made this weekend.

“No. I, um, I lose my appetite when I cook. From smelling the food all that time, I guess.” She turns to Mila and unwraps her sandwich carefully so the thick chunks of meat don’t fall out.

“Make sure you eat at some point so my kids don’t run you ragged. I can watch them for a bit if you need a break. I didn’t intend for you to do a marathon cooking session while you babysat. Thought they could eat some chicken nuggets or mac and cheese or something easy for lunch.”

Shrugging, she turns those big hazel eyes up to mine. “It’s not a big deal. I like to cook, and your kitchen is amazing, so that makes it really fun. I don’t mind. But if you have any requests, let me know ahead of time so I can make sure you have all of the ingredients.”

Logan leans forward in his seat. “You take requests?”

I toss my napkin at his face. “Not from you.”

He chuckles and winks at Tori, and I force myself not to clench my fists. Not sure why that bothers me, but it does. Logan’s a flirt. That’s who he is, but watching him fawn over Tori gets under my skin.

When we’re done eating, I head out into the main part of the barn. My kids are hanging off my brother when I notice Tori reaching up to pet one of our buckskin quarter horses, who’s leaning his head out of his stall and enjoying the attention. Can’t say I blame him.

Her slender arms wrap around his neck, and she nuzzles him with her face. The moment is such a sweet one that it draws me closer. Allison never came back here. Never cared about the horses. Makes me wonder if things would’ve been different if she had. It’s not like I never invited her to see what I did. Would’ve loved to have her appreciate what my family and I spent our whole lives building.

“What’s his name?” Tori asks, her eyes full of wonder and appreciation for the magnificent animal in her arms.

Reaching behind his ear, I give him a good scratch. “Moves Like Mick Jagger, but I call him Mick.”

“That’s a crazy name.” She slides her hands over him, a beautiful smile on her face.

“You ride?” I’m wildly curious now given how comfortable she is petting Mick.

“Nope.”

Hmm. “Wanna learn?”

Her bright eyes shift to mine. “Really?”

“Sure. Why not?”

She bites that full lower lip. “You spend so much time with these guys. Why would you want to work more to show me how to ride?”

The words come without thinking. “Because this doesn’t feel like work.” I’m not sure if I mean raising horses or the idea of teaching her what I do, but the answer is the same regardless.

I don’t mean to check her out, but it’s hard not to notice her beauty or her warm amber eyes. Those rosy, flushed cheeks. Her teasing smile.

Tori twists her long hair up into a top knot, and I can’t help appreciating her graceful neck.

Which has me looking down her body, my pulse quickening from the generous curves of her breasts beneath the maddeningly snug tank top.

I look away, not wanting to be that guy.

A moment later, her voice draws my attention back to her.

“Must be nice to have something you love so much.” A cool breeze blows through the barn, and she tilts her head and closes her eyes. “To have something that’s so a part of you, you feel it all the way down to the soles of your shoes.”

“It’s fulfilling, for sure, and there’s nothing like teaching someone who loves horses how to ride.” It’s true. It’d be a damn delight to show her the ropes if she’s as interested in these guys as I think she is. Peeling off my baseball cap, I wipe the sweat off my forehead and put my baseball cap on backwards, so I can feel more of that breeze on my face. I lower my voice, so my children don’t overhear. “But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t stressful. Being here, doing this for my family, it’s a lot of pressure. As much as I love the ranch, I wish I could spend more time with my kids.”

She studies my face, and those crazy golden eyes turn wistful. “You’re a good guy, Ethan Carter.”

Her praise washes over me, and I’m almost speechless from the compliment. I open my mouth, but a shrill female voice interrupts.

“Ethan, honey. Yoo-hoo!” Mallory struts through my barn even though I don’t have her down for a lesson today.

The sweet, dreamy gaze in Tori’s eyes shutters faster than my brother drops his drawers on a Friday night.

Mallory flutters up to us. “And who is this?” She eyeballs Tori up and down, but Tori gives her a small smile.

“I’m nobody. Just the nanny. I’ll get out of your hair so you guys can work.” With a quick wave, she wrangles the kids and is out the door before Mallory’s claws fully extend.

After I get my client out of my hair, I’m still thinking about Tori and how she made us lunch. Apparently, my brother is too.

He elbows me when I reach for the leftover cookies in my desk.

“Maybe you don’t need to head out to find yourself a little hookup.” He wiggles his fingers around his head. “Because the sparks were flying around here earlier with you and your new employee.”

“Shut the fuck up,” I grunt. “You and I both know I have too much on my plate right now to entertain anything like that.”

But sometimes, I wish I didn’t.