REBORN UNDER THE FULL MOON

He held my hand and I moved away from him. His breath stank of alcohol and his eyes were hooded.

"Lyra please let me explain," he said to me in a slurred voice.

"Are you drunk?" I managed to ask and he smiled in a lopsided boyish way.

"No, I am not. I am just a little tipsy,' he said.

"So, you are drunk?" I said pointedly.

"No," he shook his head like a child. I would have found this gesture cute if I hadn't just caught him fucking another woman.

"We will talk in the morning," I pulled out of his hold and walked away.

"Lyra please. I am sorry, I just..." he paused not knowing what to say anymore.

"I don't want to hear it, we will talk tomorrow for now you need to drink water and sleep," I said firmly and walked into my room closing the door on his face.

I removed my make up and wore something more comfortable, then I sat down on the bed and looked at Amira who was still asleep.

Is this how she felt when she found out about David and Naomi? I questioned myself as I let myself lay on the bed and I stared at my ceiling.

"I am never enough?" I questioned out loud not saying it to anyone in particular.

"What does he see in that girl that he doesn't see in me? Is it because I allowed no intimacy? But I wasn't ready. As my mate is he supposed to do that to me?" I continued asking but I got no answers.

I remembered what mother said about giving love a second chance and I asked myself that is that what she really meant? I felt like I was being dragged under again except this time I was angry. My feelings were being toiled with. First it was Kyle now Axel.

Now I am really thinking that I cleared the curse for my linage but not for myself because if I cleared the curse for myself there is no way I will be out here being played by my mate.

Does he even feel anything for me or is it mainly just the mate bond and attraction? The question popped up in my head more than I would have liked.

“Ugh! This is so stupid!" I groaned as I rolled on the bed.

"Why am I even overthinking about this. In the morning, I will just leave," I said again.

I stared at the ceiling for longer than necessary and I started counting sheeps.

My brain started to replay every conversation and everything that went wrong.

Honestly how! How did I get here? how was I stupid enough to fall for this shit again? I asked myself repeatedly and like a movie I was on repeat, I started thinking about our interactions.

Am I never enough? Tears started to pool in my eyes and I closed my eyes tightly and I felt like I could go back to when the world was silent but I told my mother I wouldn't try to kill myself again.

How am I supposed to even do anything or fight for him? I could never compete with that blonde. She is so pretty.

"Why are you even blaming yourself for all of this? you never did anything for him to heat on you. You treated him properly and you made sure to consider his feelings. Why will I even feel bad that he cheated? That is entire his fault and his business. I have nothing to do with the way him or Kyle decided to treat me.

I will not allow these men or any other man hurt me unnecessarily," I said to myself and I started to feel better and I tried to get some sleep but it wasn't working.

Soon it was dawn and I stood up to stare at the window. It looked so peaceful but it was far from it. I was extremely tired of living like this. I hated every second of it. I didn't deserve to me treated like this.

I laid back on the bed and continued to stair at the ceiling.

"Hmm," Amira stirred then she stretched her limbs and yawned.

She turned to me, "Good morning Lyra," she whispered to me.

"Good morning," I whispered.

"Why are you looking like that? she said to me.

"Why am I looking like how?" I answered playing dumb like I didn't know what she was talking about.

"Girl! You look like shit. You look like you haven't slept," she studied me.

"That's because I haven't slept," I replied as I tried to stand up from the bed and suddenly felt dizzy and fell back on the bed.

"What why? you mean to say that you stayed awake the whole night?" she asked then she kept quiet.

"Wait your date. Did Axel do anything stupid?" she asked as if waiting for me to say no.

"Yes," I nodded.

"What? What did he do?" she asked.

"He.. I caught him.. I mean he was with another lady. I don't mean to be rude or anything but I mean we were together. I mean I thought we were dating or something. I honestly don't know what I felt but now I just feel stupid. I mean he was in his office fucking a blonde lady," I said than I broke down in sobs.

"No, you don't mean it do you? He was cheating?" she asked.

"Yes he was and the worst part was that he was drunk and I spent all night awake asking myself if I was really the cause. Am I really not able to be loved. Am I that bad that no man thinks me worthy enough to be loved?" I asked sobbing. "No, no no, my sweet girl. I mean you are beautiful. If they are cheating or treating you badly, it is all because they are stupid and they don't know what they want," she consoled.