Reborn (Shadow Beast Shifters Book 3)

At some point through the night, in the middle of my angry musing and plan making, I wrote my six objectives down and left them on the notepad beside my bed so they’d be the first thing I saw upon waking.

1. Figure out what happened to me in the two months my memory was wiped.

2. Search out the catalyst for my father attacking the alpha.

3. Determine if Simone is safe and proceed to yell at her for worrying me.

4. Find out exactly why the Shadow Beast cursed us to lose time. Did it impact all the packs or only Torma? And why is no one more concerned by this abuse of power?

5. Make sure Lucinda Callahan, a.k.a. Mom, is alive and shacked up with an alpha. Then forget about her as solidly as she’s always forgotten about me.

6. Figure out why my heart is fluttering and palm itching.

I had zero explanation for number six, my skin showing no signs of any irritation except for the marks from where I’d near scratched it to thebbone. In regard to the flutter in my chest. Dr. Google was sure it was an early sign of a heart murmur or impending heart attack, but of course, those were human symptoms. In the preternatural sense, I had nothing.

When I eventually fell into a restless sleep, I tossed and turned through the night, until eventually I woke panting and crying out. The heart flutter and itchy palm was gone, only to be replaced with skin that felt like it was on fire. I ran my hands across my body, letting out a low moan as my overactive sex drive kicked into gear. I slid my fingers into my panties, only… every time I tried to touch my aching pussy, I couldn’t quite reach the spot desperate for relief.

Mine!

It was a growl of a word, and it jerked me from my half-sleep so fast that when I sat up, my head spun. I quickly looked around to determine that I was still alone, ragged bedroom furniture my only companions.

As I moved to the edge of my bed, the throbbing ache between my thighs deepened. In desperation, I staggered into the shower and cranked the water on as hard as it could go. Sinking into the small stall, I let the cold stream wash over me. I tried to bring myself to orgasm again, but again, no matter how much my fingers scraped over my clit, I couldn’t get close enough to do what needed to be done.

Any drowsiness I felt disappeared the moment I found myself clit-blocked by an invisible entity. “What the fuck?” I muttered, staring down in confusion. It was almost as if there was a barrier on my fucking vagina, and yet the water was hitting it fine…

I let my thighs fall open farther, the beat of the water landing right where I needed it, the chill almost sending me up the wall as it cooled my heated flesh. Soon I was moaning, the swirls of arousals so strong that I was near clawing the tiles in need.

“Holy fuck, Shadow Beast.” I cursed and cried out as an orgasm slammed into me.

Why I’d called out to the damn devil of shifters, I had no idea; it had just slipped out in that moment of release. I supposed if anyone was to thank for the pleasure a body could have, it was the one who’d created our race of beings. Thank you for the clit, Shadow Beast.

Oh, and the G-spot.

Dude deserved an award of some description. Even if he was the one currently messing with my memories.

As I came down from the high of my orgasm, I reached up and adjusted the temperature, wondering where to slot this additional what the actual fuck moment in my life.

I couldn’t touch myself.

When had that even happened? I mean, I hadn’t tried since waking in Torin’s bed because I’d been somewhat preoccupied with the missing months of my life, but my natural horniness was always going to rear its head sooner rather than later, and it seemed that I had another point to add to my list.

7. Kill the motherfucker who decided I couldn’t touch myself to bring pleasure.

If there was one thing I hated more than any other, it was the loss of my free will. No one was allowed to dictate what I did with my body. If this was thanks to whoever had stolen my memories, be it the Shadow Beast or someone else, I would be merciless when I found them.

By the time I dragged my ass out of the shower, I felt wrecked, but with determination filling my soul, I pushed through. Once I was dressed, I checked my phone, praying that somehow Simone had left me a message during the night.

Twenty text messages blinked at me, along with five or six voicemails. When I flicked through, half were from Torin and half from Jaxson. Checking in with me. Asking if I got home safely. Chewing me out for leaving the mixer without saying goodbye to the alphas.

I deleted them all and their voice messages without even bothering to listen. I was acting like an asshole, I was well aware of that, but… fuck them. Especially Torin. He didn’t deserve my forgiveness. I always thought the heroines in books I read were far too lenient with the alpha males. They never made those bastards work for the right to be part of their lives, letting their hormones do the thinking instead of their brains.

I would not just be forgiving and forgetting all the years of bullshit and torment I’d gone through. They owed me at least ten years of their changed attitudes before I’d consider it, and while Jaxson had taken the first step, Torin was not even in the race yet.

Pushing those two assholes from my mind, I left the apartment and headed toward town. Torma really only had one main section of shops, and since I hadn’t ventured this way since waking without my memories, I decided it was the perfect place to start my investigation. The main street was well known for its gossip.

As I walked, the heat beat down on me despite the early hour—it was going to be a scorcher today. Our elevation was high enough here that we often escaped the worst of the temps, and considering it was only spring, clearly, the weather was as pissed off as I was.

At least I’d chosen wisely in the clothing department, wearing cutoff denim shorts, a black tank, and flipflops. I’d also gone with the zero makeup mom-bun look, which was the easiest way to tame the absolute mess of hair I had going on. I wasn’t sure when it had happened, but my hair was acting as strange as my life, channeling Rapunzel so that it was twice as thick as normal, not to mention down past my ass.

Torin wanted me to cut it. He’d mentioned more than once that my hair was a little out of control, so, of course, I took great pleasure in canceling every appointment he made with our local hairdresser. The fucking arrogance of that alpha, thinking he could dictate the length of my hair. Thanks to his archaic attitude, I would see the ends literally drag on the ground before I cut it to please him. Yep, there I went, showing him the one thing that truly controlled me.

My pride.

As I got closer to town, the foot and car traffic picked up, and every shifter who passed me waved and called out a greeting. My first instinct when pack members came close to me was to make myself small and get off the main path. A survival instinct that I’d no doubt never get rid of. Torma was a trigger for me, holding so many memories that I wished I’d lost. At least I had a plan now to escape; I just had a few little issues to clear up first.

When I reached the street, I stopped at the first shop: Baked Buns. It was a fantastic little bakery that had old-school red brick across its frontage and huge woodfire ovens lining the back walls, so everyone could see the delicious treats baking.

When I stepped through the door, the scents near killed me as my stomach grumbled and growled. Normally, I’d never have the money to spend on treats, not even as the alpha-mate because I refused to accept any of Torin’s “support.” But thankfully, during one of my tiny little rage-blackouts in my mom’s apartment when I’d trashed a bunch of shit, I’d found a packet of cash in an old cushion. Must have been one of my hiding places that I’d forgotten about.

Wherever it had come from, I was now cashed up enough to buy myself a nice pastry for breakfast.

“Good morning, alpha-mate,” Brenda, the cheery owner, said as she bustled out to take my order. “We’re so blessed to have you in our store today.”

Bleh. There went my appetite as an old memory assaulted me. When I’d been about twelve, this bitch had watched with a callous expression as a group of shifters had kicked the shit out of me in the field behind her house, on the east side of Torma. At the time, I hadn’t blamed her for not wanting to get involved, but even when she’d hurried off, no help had ever arrived for me. She hadn’t told anyone, and that was what I wouldn’t forgive.

At that age, I’d been lucky not to get raped; I was fairly certain it was only Jaxson and Torin putting their foot down that had stopped it from happening. I probably owed them for that.

Whatever.

“Brenda, hey,” I said to the petite brunette, forcing the dark memories down.

She leaned forward against her front cabinet, all of five feet, petite and pretty. Despite being at least fifty years old, she didn’t look much older than me. Her mate was an enforcer, their two-year-old twins absolutely adorable.

She lived the life I’d always wished I could, but now that I was here, it just tasted bitter.

“I’ll grab a jam tart, two of the apricot pastries, and a small jar of chocolate sauce,” I said, my voice quieter than I’d wanted it to be. Pushing the memories down only got me so far, and both my face and voice acted as mood rings in these situations.

She nodded before hurrying off to package everything up. As she bustled around, I wandered along the cold display, deciding to take advantage of the empty shop. “I have a few questions for you,” I called out. “If that’s okay.”

“Of course,” she said instantly, her voice still light and open.

That would probably change the moment she heard my topic of conversation.

“I’m trying to gather information about what happened in Torma after we woke from our stasis punishment. With my memory loss, I’m worried that I’ve missed something important.”

Her head jerked up from where she was sliding a pastry into a white paper bag.

“Has Torin not said anything?” she asked breathlessly, her dark grey eyes wide and shiny. “I mean, he’s your true mate, right?”

I shot her back my best fake smile. The one that said we were old friends and confidantes, and she should feel secure in sharing all of her secrets with me. “Of course, Torin and I have discussed it in detail, but he remembers nothing of significance and suggested that I question a few of the more upstanding citizens in the pack. In the hopes that from another perspective, there might be more information out there.”

Dropping Torin’s name burned my tongue, but I legitimately wasn’t above using his position in the pack to get the answers I needed. I had to get out of Torma soon, before Torin forced his will on me, but I couldn’t leave until the mystery was solved.

Someone had fucked with me and I was determined to find out who.