Pure

Finten stripped out of his clothes and climbed up onto his bed. He pulled the thin blanket over his shoulder and lay staring into the darkness.

He hadn’t heard the wind calling him out to the wilds tonight, he was glad. The scratches on his arms that he’d gotten in the fight with Ehir were starting to ache. He was sure that getting more sleep would help.

It was somehow comforting that Maigred also felt uncertain about getting closer to him. She hadn’t said why. If she truly believed that the earth sister had told her to pursue Finten, then for her to still be hesitant was surprising. What could cause someone as devoted as Maigred to consider going against the will of the gods? And she seemed very sure that she had gotten a vision from the earth sister.

He sighed. Meeting and falling in love with Caevah had been as easy and natural as breathing. So far, falling for Maigred, was jarringly unexpected and perturbing.

In the old days he would have automatically thought the discomfort he was experiencing meant that pursuing Maigred was against the gods’ will. He was older and wiser now. Now he knew that sometimes carrying out his duty could be the most difficult and torturous option he had. How easy or difficult something was gave no guarantee that it was the right or wrong thing to do.

He rolled onto his back, let out a breath and rubbed his face. Trying to divine the gods’ will was not something that a tarasque did. He had always trusted Caevah to speak to the earth sister and make a decision based on whatever wisdom she got in her visions. He had always obeyed Caevah without question.

For the last thirteen years he’d only had two rules to guide him: Maintain his balance, and keep the people alive. What if there had been another way to spare the people all the suffering they had gone through? Finten turned on his side and curled in on himself.

He reached up and touched the stone he wore around his neck. What do I do, Caevah?

He frowned, wondering if Caevah would be happy about him pursuing another woman. He quickly came to the conclusion that she wouldn’t mind. She had always been patient with him and his needs. She was gone now, she wouldn’t have wanted him to suffer alone if he didn’t have to. The question he didn’t have an answer to was whether or not Maigred would ground him, or push him out of balance.

He shivered slightly. There was no way for him to know. He let out a breath and did his best to put the problem out of his head. He wasn’t going to find answers to his questions by staring into the dark and he needed sleep.

* * *

Finten was standing on the edge of a crater at the top of a mountain. It was a place he had visited as a child. The intermittent dark clouds that had risen from the mountain top had intrigued him. The crater held nothing more exciting than noxious fumes and some blazing earth in its belly. It had been interesting for a few hours, but the fumes hurt his head, so he had left before the sun set that day.

Finten stared down into the earth’s, bright fire wondering why he was there.

He heard the scream of a red tailed hawk and turned to see it coming towards him, its feet extended, its wings wide, beating against the air to slow its speed. Finten put his arm out and the hawk landed, its claws piercing into the skin of his forearm. It was carrying something in its beak.

Finten held his hand out and the hawk reached forward and dropped a large, perfect pearl in his palm. “It’s time to come home, Finten.” The hawk said, but it spoke with Caevah’s voice.

Finten woke up.

It was still dark. The scratches on his arms were throbbing and itchy. He was cold and shaking. He’d never felt like this before. He turned over trying to get comfortable and something soft brushed against his face. He reached up and felt around on his pillow till his hand settled on a large feather.

Finten’s breath caught in his lungs.

He sat up. His head swam. He slid out of bed, his legs felt shaky and weak. He pulled his clothes on and stumbled out of the room, the feather in his hand. There was only one thought in his mind, he had to get home.