Psycho Devils: Aran’s Story Book 2 (Cruel Shifterverse 5)

Metamorphosis—Day 34, hour 20

I fluttered my eyes open.

The first thing I noticed was the high-pitched ringing sensation that burned my ears.

The second thing I noticed was that I was laying in John’s bed, under the covers. Dark-red light filtered through the open windows, and a fire roared in the hearth.

The third thing I noticed was that I had not passed out in the middle of a shopping trip in the fae realm and hallucinated the events of the last two years. Shocking and upsetting.

Tensing, I held my breath and waited.

I blinked.

There was no pain.

“She’s awake!” John yelled, and the ringing in my ears intensified.

I grimaced as a damp, wet cloth was dabbed against my brow.

“What happened in the shower, Arabella?” Malum snarled as he stood up from where he’d been sleeping on the floor, with his head resting at the end of the bed where my feet were.

“Nothing,” I croaked out. “It was an aftereffect from the challenge. I think the pain in my ears made me seize.”

I tried to prop myself up and look casual.

The magnitude of the lie burned my lips.

It felt like the universe shook its head in disagreement because something had happened in that shower. I knew it.

Bones had broken and moved inside my back.

It didn’t take a genius to figure it out.

The fae law of Occam’s razor—“plurality should not be posited without necessity.” There was no need to speculate when a simple truth existed.

Here the truth was obvious: Enchanted words were carved into my back. Mother’s rare enchantment must be mutating. It was the only thing that made sense.

I was. So. Screwed.

Malum’s eye twitched as he stared at me like he knew I was full of shit.

I stared back with a bored expression.

He burst into flames.

I sighed heavily. Men were exhausting.

“What’s going on?” Scorpius asked, sleepy as he pushed himself off the bedroom floor next to my bed. Orion mumbled and sat up with him.

For some reason, all three of the kings had been lying on the floor near John’s bed while I slept (sleep being a generous term for coma).

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Orion mouthed, and his angelic features scrunched up with concern.

For a second, I wanted to shake my head and say no. I wanted to tell him about Mother and the word carved into my back. I wanted to seek shelter in his beauty and the kindness he was offering.

I stared into his warm, inviting eyes and forgot to breathe.

“Baby,” he mouthed as he reached his hand forward and trailed it across the side of my face.

Chocolate raspberries filled my nose, and I closed my eyes. Rested against his golden fingers and let him hold me.

He stroked me softly.

A lover’s caress.

My lashes fluttered against his palm.

“Sweetheart, why were you convulsing in the shower?” he whispered softly, his lyrical voice wrapping around me like a cocoon of warmth.

The words were on the edge of my lips.

He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, and I leaned against the touch.

I let myself pretend.

That he hadn’t stalked me down the hall like he wanted to hurt me.

The former without the latter was hot. The former with the latter was serial killer shit, and not the endearing fictional kind Sadie was always going on about.

It was the energy of the real-life male serial killers that were hunted down by the High Court and disemboweled publicly as a crowd cheered. While it was true that sometimes even modern-day killers had fans, I’d always made it a point to cheer extra loud as their intestines spilled out.

As the great Olympus philosopher Razarith had said, “The ends always justify the means. No exceptions.”

If Orion hunted women, then I’d hunt him. No exceptions.

I pulled my head away from his lips.

For a second, he grabbed the back of my head and held me still like he wasn’t going to let me go.

It was the reminder I needed.

He was breathtakingly stunning, but he wasn’t gentle.

It was a mirage.

Why did I keep forgetting?

I yanked away from him roughly and pushed at his chest until he took a step back from the bed.

Orion’s eyes widened, then narrowed as he realized I was rebuffing him.

He fisted his hands.

His chest heaved as he pulled at his blond hair and stared at me. Like he could hypnotize me with his gaze.

I looked down at the covers.

What did he expect? My fictional lover would never chase me. Not like that.

Was it too much to ask for a man to fall on his knees at the sight of me and treat me like a delicate doll that would break if she wasn’t protected because he thought I was perfect?

John pushed past the kings and held a cup to my lips. I gulped the refreshing water, grateful for a distraction from the devils. I choked as I inhaled too fast.

“Aw, there’s my special girl. Can’t even drink water correctly,” John said as he patted my head like I was an idiot.

I glared up at him.

Orion made a wounded sound as I refused to look over at him, and Malum growled like he was protecting his mate.

I choked harder on the water.

The three kings crowded by the bed, and the weight of their attention was heavy on my shoulders.

I didn’t look up at Orion. I didn’t breathe, because Scorpius was listening. Sweat dripped down my face from the heat of Malum’s flames. I didn’t wipe it away.

As much as I tried to ignore them, the kings’ presence was overwhelming.

“Good girl,” John whispered as he wiped water gently off my chin.

I smiled instinctively, then glared as I realized what I was doing.

Orion made a weird noise.

The temperature spiked hotter.

If I could see auras like a witch, I’d bet all the gold in the fae palace that all three of the kings’ would be maroon. The color of spilled blood, aggression, lust, evil.

John brushed a curl behind my ear and asked softly, “How do you feel?”

I gave him a hesitant smile but stared at the cup because I couldn’t look into his kind eyes. The throbbing ache between my legs reminded me of what we’d done.

What I’d done to him.

John stroked a curl off my forehead, and I struggled to swallow around the lump in my throat.

John was too good for me. His aura was probably gold. The color of friendship, compassion, generosity.

The kings stood beside the bed at my feet.

John stood beside my head.

I imagined my aura engulfed the space between them. Mine was black. Depression, bleakness, heaviness, and suffering.

After I’d finished drinking all the water in the cup, there was nothing left to distract me from my guilty conscience.

I cleared my throat a few times, then asked, “John, are you okay after the punishment?”

John made a pained sound in the back of his throat, then pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead.

He whispered, “I’m completely fine, Aran. It’s you I’m worried about.”

I sank lower into the covers.

I didn’t deserve his forgiveness.

Gentle fingers tipped up my chin, and John asked, “Are you hurting?”

The same fingers had dug into my flesh while he was inside me. A tiny zip raced down my spine.

I breathed out shakily, then gave him a fake smile. “No, I’m good.”

John narrowed his eyes like he wanted to argue.

I turned to the kings. “How about you guys? Did I hurt you?”

There was a long pause, then Scorpius sneered, “What are you talking about?”

I waved my hand at my hip, unable to make sense of their presence. “The slave brand. Did it hurt you or something? Is that why you’re acting concerned?”

“No, it did not,” Malum snarled. “We were worried about our teammate who was passed out in the shower, covered in bloody vomit.”

I stared back at him with a dead expression.

A long second passed.

I raised my eyebrow. “Oh yes, I’m sure you were really worried about the hole in the room.”

Malum swore viciously and said through gritted teeth, “You know I didn’t mean that when I said it.”

My jaw dropped.

I raised my eyebrows. Well, this was news to me.

“Women have”—Malum clenched his jaw—“other useful qualities.”

I scoffed. “Please enlighten us.”

There was a long pause during which I thought he wasn’t going to say anything. “You can be brave. You saved my Protector, and you didn’t have to. I’m grateful.”

I gawked at Malum like he’d grown a second head.

Scorpius snarled. “We were worried about you.” A muscle in his jaw ticked. “I told you to stand behind me, but you went ahead.”

Scorpius’s usual perfectly slicked-back hair was messy, and his pale skin had a greenish hue. He looked like shit.

“If I stood behind you, it wouldn’t have mattered,” I scoffed. “Why are you mad at me for helping you?”

“I’m mad because you hurt yourself and you didn’t have to!” Scorpius yelled.

For the second time, my jaw dropped.

Usually, I ignored the kings. Their opinions were like male thongs. Useless. Disturbing. And literally no one asked for them.

But now they were acting like they weren’t the worst people who’d ever walked the realms.

They almost sounded like they had feelings, like they cared.

I might be depressed and possibly suffering from the most extreme case of scoliosis ever recorded, but I still had the energy to be stunned.

“You’re our teammate,” Malum said slowly. “We respect you as more than a hole.”

“Obviously,” Scorpius spat.

My eyes widened.

Nothing about anything they were saying was obvious to me.

Were they feeling well?

Had I woken up in a different dimension?

Holy sun god, was this what the afterlife was like? Disappointing—I’d been hoping for a fae beach and free drugs.

My thoughts must have been written on my face, because the kings didn’t argue further.

Malum slung his flaming arm around both Scorpius’s and Orion’s shoulders, then he said to me, “You haven’t eaten in too long. You need to go to dinner.”

I sighed and began to crawl out of bed.

“Let me help you,” Scorpius mumbled as he grabbed me underneath the arm and helped me out of bed.

“I’m gaping at you in shock,” I said loudly because I didn’t want Scorpius to miss out on my facial expressions.

He shook his head with exasperation, but a small smile curled the edge of his lips.

Like he thought I was funny.

I obviously was, but he did not think so.

I fell over from the surprise of it and nearly collapsed onto my knees.

“Careful, careful.” Malum gripped me beneath my armpits and pulled me to my feet.

I yanked my arm away and pressed it to my chest like it burned. “I’m good. You don’t need to help me.”

Their niceness was too much for my feminine constitution. The sun god truly gave his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.

I stared at my feet.

The kings stared at me.

“Aran,” John started to say, but I hobbled into the hall and called back, “Dinner.”

The devils were acting weird. There was an ache between my legs, a strange pressure on my spine, and a loud ringing in my ears. Yet the emotional distress was the worst part. Memories of what had gone down with John played in my head.

I’d never felt so confused.

Discombobulated.

Lost.

A weight crushed my chest, and it felt like my organs were shutting down from the force of my guilt. I moved quickly like if I walked fast enough, I could leave it behind me.

Lightning cracked.

I staggered down the empty halls, and I glanced back to find the rest of the legion following behind. My teammates all looked sleep-deprived, and each one wore a scowl.

When I walked into the hall, people turned.

Stared.

Dinner had already started. Chairs squeaked, forks clattered, and the sharp noises echoed like gunshots through my sensitive ears.

My eyes locked on Sadie.

I walked to the dais.

I kept my eyes on her.

Among a sea of judgmental gazes, she was a familiar lifeline.

When I walked to my usual seat, no matter how many times I told myself to just do it, I couldn’t force myself to pull it out and sit down.

I needed my best friend.

I must have stood at the table longer than I realized, because a deep voice said, “You can go sit with her.”

It took me a moment to register I hadn’t imagined it. Malum really had suffered a stroke. He was being nice.

I didn’t wait for him to recover.

As I hurried past the other legions toward Sadie, a wave of self-consciousness hit me. I moved slower. Sadie’s mates don’t want you around her. Not after what you’ve done.

When I got to the shifter table, I rubbed at the back of my neck. “Can I sit with you?”

Everyone stood up.

I flinched.

Sadie threw herself against me and pulled me down into the newly vacant chair beside her. “I’ve been so worried about you,” she whispered against my chest as she hugged me.

I clung back.

Over her shoulder, Xerxes and Ascher both smiled and gave me little waves.

The friendly movement was comically out of place on the two men. Ascher’s tattoos and horns gave him an edge of violence that was matched by Xerxes’s fluid motions as he sharpened his daggers.

I breathed in the faint scent of sweet cranberries as I pressed my cheek against the top of Sadie’s head.

“Are you okay?” Jinx asked quietly from the end of the table as she stroked the ferret hanging around her neck like a scarf. Her dark eyes were too large for her pointy features and gave her a ghoulish appearance.

She looked worried.

Startled by the compassion on her face, I pulled away from Sadie and smoothed invisible wrinkles off my sweatshirt.

“Actually, it’s been pretty rough.” I gave an awkward laugh. “Are you okay?” I asked her pointedly.

Memories of her strapped to a chair sobbing overwhelmed me.

Her soft expression disappeared as she scowled.

“I’m fine.” Jinx’s tone was harsh. “What were you doing on that field? Lollygagging around while the time was counting down? I’ve never seen someone move slower in my life. Where was your sense of self-preservation?”

My jaw dropped. “Really? You want to do this now?”

I was clearly in a delicate state.

Did no one have any respect for the mentally ill anymore?

Jinx rolled her eyes as she cut a piece of steak into impossibly small pieces. “Well, when do you want to do it? Should I wait to criticize your performance when you’re deceased from indecision?”

Jax leaned over and cut Sadie’s steak for her. She tried to push him away, but he just glared at her missing finger and continued to cut until he was finished.

Sadie turned her attention to Jinx and said, “Don’t be mean to Aran. She’s clearly going through a lot right now.”

Jinx huffed and fed the ferret a piece of meat.

I could practically hear the insults she was calling me in her head.

I made a face at Jinx. “Aren’t you supposed to be simpering and apologizing for wiping our memories? Also, I just went through extreme trauma. Show a little respect for your elders.”

Jinx rolled her black eyes. “Nice. Deflect the conversation to cover up your own shortcomings. Very mature. Also, the John guy’s been making moon eyes at you since the competition started. Stop trying to milk it.”

“It was horrible and demeaning.” I gasped with outrage. “It was very upsetting for both of us.”

Jinx scoffed. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

“Don’t listen to her.” Sadie threaded her four fingers through mine and held my hand.

I squeezed Sadie’s hand. “Don’t worry, I’m not.”

Jinx fell silent, and I concentrated on trying to eat some vegetables, but everything tasted like ashes.

My stomach cramped.

The table fell into a comfortable silence.

The entire hall was more subdued than usual, and there was an awkward tension in the air. I could feel the weight of dozens of eyes staring at me.

I studied my plate.

Sadie held my hand under the table and squeezed three times in quick succession. I squeezed back four times.

We both knew what we meant.

I concentrated on the feel of her warm fingers against mine and her comforting presence beside me.

“I agree with Jinx about your performance during the competition,” Cobra said out of nowhere.

I choked.

The snake shifter leaned closer and glared at me. “I thought I was going to have to go back and rescue you because you were moving so slowly. You wasted a good minute just staring at your teammate.”

My jaw dropped. “Sorry that the lack of sound barrier made me slow,” I said sarcastically. “Not all of us are part snake.”

Cobra nodded. “Apology accepted.”

“I was being facetious.” I ground my teeth together.

He narrowed his eyes. “Well, you shouldn’t be. You should practice not wasting time in the middle of a life-or-death situation. It is—”

Sadie banged her utensils onto the tabletop and cut him off. “Everyone needs to start being nicer to Aran. It’s pissing me off!”

“I am being nice.” Cobra pointed his knife at me and scoffed. “I’m talking to her, aren’t I?”

The fact that he refused to talk to women because of what my mother did to him was a major character flaw.

Personally, it would be a deal breaker. But that was just me.

“Well, I wished you wouldn’t,” I snapped back at him.

Cobra bared his teeth, and his canines were elongated. “Oh, I won’t!”

Before I could say something else, a freakishly large hand smacked the back of Cobra’s head. A minor scuffle ensued as Jax overpowered Cobra and forcibly pulled him out of the seat next to me.

The much nicer bear shifter took his place.

He smelled like warm chestnuts and kindness.

Jax smiled down at me. “Sorry about Cobra. He was worried about you, and he doesn’t know how to express his emotions in a healthy way.”

“I do not care about her,” Cobra said as he leaned forward across the table so he could see past Jax’s large frame and glare at me.

Jax turned quickly, the chains in his braids tinkling as he put Cobra in a choke hold and whispered something in his ear.

When he pulled away, Cobra pouted in his seat and didn’t say anything else.

“Like I was saying.” Jax turned back to me. “Both he and Sadie didn’t sleep last night. He felt guilty for not going back to rescue you, so you didn’t finish last. He wasn’t sure if it would break the competition rules, but he’s mad at himself for not trying.”

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

Jax stared down at me with compassion and whispered, “He feels responsible for what happened to you.”

I pushed my pipe into my mouth with so much force that I accidentally stabbed my tongue. Shrugging with a casualness I didn’t feel, I said, “It’s not your fault, Cobra. It was all mine. Don’t worry.”

Cobra grunted.

“Everyone, stop talking about it,” Sadie ordered. She squeezed my hand and changed the subject. “What was the last fiction book you read?”

I smiled at her gratefully. “I haven’t read a fiction book in years.”

Sadie flopped forward like she’d been shot. After dramatically convulsing a couple of times for the bit, she sat up straight and launched into an in-depth analysis of the erotic romance plot from the last book she’d read.

The meal progressed.

Sadie explained that the male character’s crooked penis was symbolic of his imperfect love.

Straight women were so weird.

Yes, I was straight. I didn’t want to talk about it.

Truthfully, I tried not to let a single thought cross my mind.

Everything was going great until a student with a mohawk sitting nearby said, “So how much does it cost to fuck you, Queen Arabella? I’ll pay a small fortune for your services.”

Male laughter echoed.

Ten thousand credits, I thought. I refrained from saying it aloud because I didn’t have the energy to haggle for a good price.

Sadie stiffened beside me, and her mates sat up straighter.

I picked at the vegetables on my plate.

“Come on, babe, give me an offer,” he whined.

I rolled my eyes.

“Psst, Queen Arabella,” he said in a loud whisper, “I know you can hear me.”

Why did the legion tables have to be so close to the dais?

“That’s it.” Sadie pressed her steak knife into her finger, and a ball of blood floated in the air from the cut.

Her ruby eyes glowed.

“Stop it,” I swatted the blood down before she could do something stupid. “You don’t want everyone to know about your powers.”

The droplets I’d hit onto the table floated up into the air and recoagulated.

Sadie scowled. “He won’t know anything once I’ve made him into a mindless zombie.”

I turned to Jax and said tiredly, “Make her stop.”

He nodded, then reached across the table and pinched Sadie’s nose between two fingers.

Her eyes stopped glowing, and the blood dropped.

I shook my head. “I can’t believe that worked.”

Jax winked down at me. “You don’t want to know how we discovered it.”

“How about you just suck me off?” the douche at the other table said louder.

Excited to announce, I’m going to stop giving men the benefit of the doubt.

Sadie’s canines lengthen. Why was my friend so ridiculously overpowered yet unable to run for five minutes without asphyxiating? Truly a unique woman.

“He’s not worth it,” I hissed at her.

At the same time, the douche laughed and said, “Just one blow job, baby.”

I clenched my jaw so tightly it ached. If karma didn’t hit him, then I would.

Xerxes and Ascher pushed their chairs back and stood up, and Jax’s head snapped around. Sadie let out a low howl.

Jinx rolled her eyes and fed her ferret pieces of steak.

Before I could try to defuse the situation, the student let out a high-pitched scream.

Everyone in the hall turned to stare at the commotion.

I narrowed my eyes at Sadie, but she shrugged. “Wasn’t me.”

The jerk screamed louder.

It took everyone at the table a second to realize that the jewels embedded in Cobra’s skin were now slithering shadow snakes, and he had slit pupils.

“Oopssss,” he lisped and flashed two elongated front canines and a slightly forked tongue.

The tongue was new.

He smirked.

A single black shadow snake was latched onto the screaming student’s neck.

Cobra’s snakes emitted a painful poison. It was supposedly debilitating.

For a second, the air around the shrieking student also sparkled black, and his ruddy skin turned unnaturally pale.

The darkness disappeared when I blinked. I must have imagined it.

After a few moments, the other students became bored with watching the man scream. They turned back to their meals.

We did the same.

Sadie planned our next shopping trip in extreme detail, and even the men joined in on the conversation.

Ascher wanted a new phone, Jax wanted a different nose ring, Cobra had his eye on a comic book (who knew he had hobbies?), and Xerxes wanted a new supercar.

Sadie said Xerxes was being ridiculous and that she just wanted a new book.

Yet again, her aversion to spending money was extremely creepy and not relatable.

I aspired to spend all the fae palace gold. Nothing would make me happier than bankrupting the realm.

When I told Sadie this, she said I was greedy.

I didn’t see the problem.

Even as I argued with my friend about her acting like a peasant, the student’s screams made me uncomfortable.

Someone else was in pain because of me.

It was stupid because realistically I didn’t give a single shit about the man. Still, I couldn’t help feeling like darkness clung to me.

I was corrupted.

Evil.

Soulless.

When the dinner finally ended, students grabbed the screaming man and dragged him across the floor out the door.

There was a black scorch mark across the crotch of his pants.

From the way Malum was smirking at the other table, Cobra wasn’t the only one who’d intervened.

I inhaled enchanted smoke.

Exhaled with a long drag.

For a second, I’d forgotten I wasn’t a member of the functional, loving shifter legion.

I was a part of the academy legion: psychotic devils, ornery demons, a depressed fae queen, and a happy-go-lucky human.

We were the definition of dysfunctional.

I gave Sadie and Jax a hug, bumped fists with Ascher and Xerxes, made a face at Cobra, and flipped off Jinx, who mouthed, “Do the right thing.”

When I joined my teammates, I still couldn’t look John in the eyes, and I pretended I didn’t see the kings staring at me.

The demons raised their brows when I walked beside them in the halls.

“We’re not friends,” Zenith muttered angrily under his breath. “Stay away from us.”

I took a step closer.

He was such a funny guy.

I’d always loved his silent-but-deadly energy.

John gave me long looks over his shoulder, and the pressure on my chest intensified. The weight crushed me.

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to reverse the past.

When we entered the room, I bumped into Malum.

He stood in the doorway, blocking everyone.

Zenith bumped into me from behind and shoved me forward. I pushed him back, and he ran into Malum.

Malum bumped into Scorpius, who turned around and shoved Vegar.

John swore when Zenith pushed him over and launched himself at Scorpius to get retribution for hurting his boyfriend.

Everyone pushed at one another.

Heat prickled the side of my neck, and I looked over midscuffle to find Orion staring down at me with wide, unblinking eyes. The men bumped into him, and he didn’t react. He just kept staring at me.

I rolled my eyes back in my head and stuck my tongue out at him.

John tried to pull Scorpius and Zenith apart. Their hands were wrapped around each other’s necks, and they were strangling each other. Kinky.

Malum had a flaming fist pointed at Vegar.

In the middle of the scrum, Orion stepped close and invaded my personal space. He whispered so quietly I barely heard him say, “Do that again and I’ll take you up on your offer, sweetheart.”

Too-pretty features glinted maniacally.

It took me a second to realize what he was talking about.

I pulled my tongue back into my mouth as a blush burned my cheeks. “That wasn’t what I meant,” I hissed with outrage. “I was pretending to be dead.”

We both ignored the bulge that was growing in his pants.

“Enough,” Lothaire bellowed loudly, and everyone broke apart. The reason Malum had stopped in the doorway was clear.

“In formation, recruits. Did none of my training stick in your fucking brains? Are you five years old?”

We stood at attention.

Legs spread.

Arms behind our backs.

Heads lowered.

Soldiers.

Killers.

Lothaire stood in our room and stared at the hearth with a forlorn expression. He tapped his fingers on the mantel like he was impatient.

It wasn’t a competition day, so I didn’t understand why he was here.

Lothaire sighed heavily as he looked at us. His skin had a grayish tint, and his single eye was almost as bloodshot as mine.

He looked like shit.

I didn’t care.

“You will be making a substitution,” Lothaire said as he paced back and forth. “Your new teammate will arrive tomorrow.”

Malum stood up straight. “What, that doesn’t make any sense. We don’t need a substitute. Who is it?”

Lothaire shook his head and walked toward where we stood.

All seven of us stilled, and the tension was palpable.

We held our breaths.

Waited for him to pull out his baton and beat the shit out of us. I fought the urge to flinch.

“You will learn soon enough,” Lothaire said curtly as he walked out the door.

He passed by me in slow motion, features pinched with sadness. He glanced down at me with longing on his face.

I frowned back.

He was already dead to me.

Lothaire disappeared into the crowded hall.

A beat passed as everyone processed what he’d said.

“What the fuck?” Malum exploded with flames. “I’m the captain. I should know what’s going on.”

Scorpius and Orion immediately surrounded him. They caressed him and whispered into his ear as they tried to calm him.

The demons retreated into their bed together.

John stood still beside me, and his olive skin was pale like he was going to be sick.

“Do you know what’s going on?” I asked him.

John just shook his head and climbed into bed without a backward glance.

He was uncharacteristically withdrawn.

It felt like a thousand-pound weight was crushing my sternum.

He’s sad because of what you did to him.

After I brushed my teeth and tied back my hair, the room was dark, since the curtains had been drawn. Everyone had retreated into their beds for the night.

Picking at my lower lip, I reviewed my options.

I didn’t have many.

Lying down on the carpet, I curled into myself. The floor was uncomfortable, but my mattress had been shredded to create a makeshift cot, and I wasn’t going to force my presence on John.

I’d just gotten into a comfortable position when hands scooped me up.

Before I could blink, I was positioned under fluffy covers with John’s arms wrapped around me.

I was cocooned in his warmth.

I started to pull away.

“Just go to sleep, Aran.” John’s voice cracked. “Please.” He hugged me.

The desperation in his voice made me pause.

“Okay,” I whispered and closed my eyes. The pressure on my chest lightened as John’s heart beat steadily against my back.

As sleep pulled me under, John whispered, “Please forgive me.”

I was too tired to ask what he meant.

In the future, I’d wish I had stayed awake to question him. I’d really wish I hadn’t passed out.

But I did.