Project 43

Chapter September 2611



I don’t know if anyone has ever experienced your world turning upside down on you. I don’t even know where to start. The years of therapy tell me this journal may be the only way through the next chapter in my life though...

To be honest I don’t even know who I really am anymore... That sense of certainty people have about their place in the world is gone. Like there’s air beneath my feet and I’m somehow struggling to breathe. How do I even start?

This morning I was me. The same teen prisoner counting down the days to my birthday for no reason other than to celebrate what should be an eventful memorable day in my life. I hadn’t showered and much to my dad’s displeasure chips where my breakfast- but for the first time in years he also had been late by over an hour.

My dad... it’s strange to think of. All this time I didn’t have a clue. I don’t know at what point I realize our conversation had shifted. Or when...

No, I know when.

He had handed me orange juice after I told him how I had noticed all the morning news stations where missing. Some of my programs also where canceled. “Is that something engineering fixes, or do we have like our own personal cable company tec support?” It had never been an issue before. Maybe a channel here and there or when there where parental controls but not like this.

That’s when I noticed the orange juice had tasted funny. Or maybe it was the way he said “It’s nothing to worry about. I’ll take care of it.”

“David this wasn’t part of the plan.”

“The plan is accelerated.”

“What” are you talking about?”

"It got out.”

“I’m aware it got out David. That’s why we’ve been testing-”

“He wanted her specific results. Even though he’s not a scientist he’s not an idiot. He’ll have the samples back any day.”

Mom? Dad? My head was foggy and there was a dull pain radiating that kept my eyes closed; not that I really felt like I could move my body just yet.

Everything was so heavy.

“We’ll be court marshalled if this thing doesn’t spread just by moving her. Probably worse. Lock us away and throw away the key in some underground hole. You know that right? If they don’t just shoot us in the headfirst.”

“This was your plan. They won’t suspect you. You were rarely on the cameras.” Dad sounded worried- almost hysterical now. “Don’t make me do it. I can’t do that to her.”

“Shut up.” Mom hissed. “I’ll take care of this. Did you bring any of the information?”

“Only some. It’s all in the case. Enough to explain. Just- just in case you can’t explain first.”

“Just heads?”

“Just heads.” He responded grimly.

At those words all I could think of was a penny flipping through the air. Heads tails heads tails...

How my life had turned from heads to tails. Ironic. I’m having to take deep breaths writing this, my hands are still shaking, and my tears won’t stop coming. Part of me never wants to leave this bathroom.

When I finally opened my eyes, the sun was shining, and my body was moving. An experience I had never felt before besides an elevator. Trees whipped by in a way that reminded me of a tv screen, but it was clearly through glass.

A car. I was in a car.

“You’re awake. Good. We need to talk.”

I rubbed my eyes, a belt restraining me in my seat. Protection. “Mom?”

“I’m not your real mother and your name isn’t Annie.”

If I hadn’t been in a car. If I hadn’t known Trenity my entire life- if I hadn’t made that promise with her to always tell me the truth at thirteen hadn’t stuck, I would have laughed at her. My mother had been a lot of things in life and hardly present. Like for example I didn’t know when she had chopped off her hair last, it was really long now. Last, I had seen it was at her ear lobes and now it was past her shoulders.

I sat letting that process and the panic set in as I began to wake up fully. I remember my heart thundering and throw up climbing up my throat as everything spun.

“I’m your daughter.” the words suddenly felt hallow as my mind shifted over my memories in comparison to what television showed. I just thought we were a different dysfunctional family...

“You are the subject that we assigned ourselves to. I would have tried to find a way to tell you sooner. You’re a bright kid even though you don’t realize your potential.”

The statement shouldn’t have made me feel warm considering she just announced that she wasn’t my mother and all- but a compliment like that was rare from her. Affection in general was so rare from her. “All the important people that worked with you... they were all assigned kids that where about the same age?” The way she had said it made something click in place. Every kid at the base was nearly the same age.

“From birth. See I knew you were bright.”

“But dad- David- he would tell me they were visiting relatives some...” The words died on my lips. How often had I disappeared due to illness or treatments? If we were the same, then... “Why?”

The question was a loaded one. Why was I different why was I in a bubble, why had they done this to children, why was she telling me now... Why!?

To be perfectly honestly, I still don’t know.

“You were all born with a very specific genetic code that was supposed to be a replica we were altering to find more desirable outcomes.” Mom said. She sounded like the freaking typical military robot when she used to try to tutor me.

“Oh yes vomiting up blood having to sit hooked up to a machine to filter it and all the tests in-between have shown how successful that’s been.” I replied flippantly my anger now rising.

“You had unique needs and side effects of genetic reprogramming. It’s still newer technology that hasn’t been fully approved by any government because we’ve all seen it’s gruesome outcomes... However, all breakthroughs come with scientific sacrifices at times.”

I gritted my teeth. A guinea pig. I was a human guinea pig. Instead, I stayed silent waiting for more answers. If I spoke now, I knew I’d scream.

“Who’s genetic code? Do I even have a mother? Why am I out of the bubble if I’m so important?”

“There’s more information in the suitcase. Right now, we have to assume we’re being followed. It’ll be better if you rest your eyes until we get there.”

Aka that was the end of that conversation. I tried to ask more questions, but she froze me out and stared at the road like it was her life’s mission. Which after hours of driving I probably am.

I haven’t left the bathroom for hours. She handed me the case and I’m sitting in the bathroom.

I’m just... not ready to open it.


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