Prime Slime

Circumstances conspired that day to cast a shadow on Dr. Lucian’s entire body of work. No sooner had they finished spraying, when the phone rang. It was from the ER. Dr. Ted Honcho was on the other end.

“Lucian, what’s going on here?”

“You mean the smell, chief?” Evan responded.

“That’s bad enough. Now tell me why the plants in the ER are dying.” Evan stuttered incoherently, but Honcho wasn’t finished:

“There’s a Mr. Burt Nadley here, who was in your lab this morning. He said he saw plants melting in your lab as well.” Evan looked over at Dexter, who affirmed with a guilty nod. “What the hell is going on over there?”

“Apparently there has been a genetic accident,” Evan explained. “Mr. Nadley came in contact with it in our lab. The good news is, it only infects plants, and we can stop it with MIFF.”

“By now the world knows you’ve been spraying that stuff! You’re scaring everybody to death and making us sick! Now get over here immediately and put out this fire!”

“We’ll be right there, sir! And, sir, this plant disease is very contagious. We cannot allow it to escape the ER, if it has not done so already.”

“Are you telling me that I have to stop our vital work here, and quarantine everyone in the ER because of a plant disease?”

“That’s about the gist of it, sir. The sooner the better.”

“Damn it, Lucian! Get your ass over here immediately!”

“We’re on our way, sir.”

Evan headed for the lab door. He beckoned Dexter to join him. They sprayed a small area on the floor and walked in it to decontaminate their shoes. The MIFF mist in the air was enough to decontaminate their clothes.

Leaving Terri behind to tend to the lab, they took off onto the main campus road, strapped to large spray bottles on their backs. A hose was held in one hand, and a mechanical pump in the other, to expel the liquid. The hospital was a few blocks away.

By now, the whole campus reeked of sulfur. Several students made obscene gestures and gave them thumbs down as they passed. Evan quickly repelled the negativity:

“This is an emergency! Please stay out of the way!”

The final mixture did not smell nearly as bad as when first prepared, but it was bad enough. Worse than a paper factory, or a sulfur spring, it stunk like a bevy of skunks.

It was getting dark outside, and the street lamps were coming on. Halfway down the road towards the ER was the football field, where Nadley had practiced earlier that day. A crowd of students gathered on the jogging track surrounding the field, mesmerized by a most unusual sight. The flood lights were off, but the field was lit up in lustrous green, except for the painted, white yard markings. Under a full moon, the slime churned opalescent, and crackled as if on fire. What a light show.

The chief obstacles to Prime Slime’s spread were the jogging track and MIFF. Evan asked Dexter to stay behind to monitor the field, as Evan continued on to the ER. Dexter immediately took charge, and commanded the crowd to stay back. Once cleared, he commenced spraying, but not directly on the slime. Rather, he targeted the perimeter—on the edge of the track—hoping to contain the disease until it ran its course. A direct spraying might create aerosols that could increase the chances for spread. Plus, there was not enough MIFF to cover the entire field. It was a calculated move on Dexter’s part.

The smell of MIFF also kept the crowd away. Anyway, the best view of the spectacle was from the dorm rooftops, where hundreds of students had gathered to watch the fireworks.

The ER had already been quarantined at the behest of Dr. Honcho. No one could enter or leave without permission. Those who had since left were summoned back into the ER to limit further spread. Security guards manned the exits to ensure that no one left the building, and only dire emergencies were allowed in. Doctors, nurses and orderlies were called on to help calm the patients and their families, who were justifiably upset.

One of the ER nurses, a horticulturist, had made a virtual garden of the unit. With an assortment of plants in every room, the ER was a haven for Prime Slime. It was ironic how such beauty could turn so ugly.

Evan made a quick assessment of the damage. Not a single plant was recognizable, implying that Prime Slime had found its way around the ER, and possibly elsewhere in the hospital. He quickly made way to the main desk and turned on the ER microphone.

“Attention! Everyone! There is nothing to fear. This is a plant disease, and will not hurt humans. Still, it is best to stay put. We don’t want it to spread further. We are going to start spraying with a disinfectant that has a very foul odor, as you might already have noticed, but it is necessary to stop the plant infestation. Please be patient. We will concentrate first on the plants, so move away from them if you can. We’ll be turning off the lights for a short time, so find a secure and comfortable spot and stay there, please.”

A chorus of complaints followed. And Dr. Honcho was fuming. Turning off the lights was the last thing they needed in the ER.

“OK, shut ‘em down!” Evan shouted. One of the nurses hit the light switches. After a momentary adjustment in darkness, a dim green lit up the ER. It was everywhere: on the floor, walls and ceilings. It dappled the nurse’s uniforms and the doctors white coats. The most spectacular glow came from the wilted plants and flowers, which lit up every room like a hippy lamp. Vase water glittered green, as cut flowers disintegrated and drooped onto the floor. Shiny green goo filled the clay pots. The ER had gone completely psychedelic.

Evan sprayed the plants first, being the source of contagion. That was followed by another collective groan. He hit plants directly and around their perimeter to stop the spread. Then he moved systematically outward with a lighter covering. After repeated dousing with MIFF on the walls, floors, hands, garments and shoes, the fluorescence disappeared, and the room grew dark.

The ER had to be treated repeatedly that evening, with lights turned on and off at intervals. Evan also checked other wards throughout the hospital and sprayed where necessary. They also gathered up any and all plant materials in red bags for incineration. Evan soaked a few washcloths with MIFF and handed them to orderlies, who washed down any hint of luminescence in the hospital. All suspect materials, like wood and paper, were treated. Meanwhile, no one could come or go until being sprayed. The guards held people at the exits until Evan made sure they were disinfected. Hours later, as things began to calm, one security guard quipped:

“That’s some nasty stuff, Doc!”

“Yes, very contagious,” Evan mumbled.

“Looks like Nadley dragged it in,” the officer surmised.

“So, where is Mr. Nadley now?” Dr. Honcho asked.

“In Isolation Room 3. He came in this afternoon on a stretcher from football practice.” Nadley appeared responsible for infecting both the ER and the football field.

They walked into the room, escorted by security. When the curtain opened, they found Nadley with a pile of slime in his hand.

“Here’s my homework assignment, Doc.”