Possessive

“Have you always wanted to be a doctor?” Lauren asked, while her fingers traced the rich, steaming cup of coffee in her hands.

“I think so. I sure liked playing doctor when I was a kid.”

Her easy laugh caught in her throat. Ethan’s humor took her by surprise. It was something she’d never seen until the last few hours. Then again, the circumstances that brought them together in the ER weren’t exactly laugh-worthy.

“I’ll bet your mother’s proud.”

“She is.”

Lauren sipped her coffee, and tucked an unruly strand of hair behind her ear.

Ethan watched her fingers graze her hair and asked, “Why don’t you ever wear your hair down?”

“It’s too much work. Curly hair takes on a life of its own.”

He reached over the table and caught her hand. “I’d like to see you with your hair down. All that unruly, curly red hair splayed out around your shoulders.”

It was the third time during the meal that Ethan said something like that. Something simple and honest that proved he’d been watching her as much as she had him.

“Maybe someday you will.”

His eyes drank her in, all the while his thumb drew lazy circles on the inside of her wrist. Lauren couldn’t think of a time when a man holding her hand was so arousing.

“What about you? Why did you choose to be a grief counselor?”

“I didn’t choose it so much as it chose me.”

“What do you mean?”

Lauren broke eye contact and watched his fingers. Explaining her profession always proved tricky. She settled for the truth. Well… as much as she could anyway.

“At thirteen I was in a traffic accident.”

Ethan sat patiently while she went on.

“My girlfriend’s mom picked us up from cheerleading practice—”

“I can see you as a cheerleader,” he interrupted.

“Really? I wasn’t very good at it.”

“I’ll bet you were cute in the uniform.”

Lauren blushed and smiled ear to ear, “You’re awful, Ethan Bailey. Has anyone ever told you that before?”

“On more than one occasion. I interrupted. You were saying…?”

“My friend’s mom picked us up. I sat behind Mrs. Hammond, and Shelley, my friend, sat in the passenger seat up front. A utility truck t-boned us on the driver’s side.”

Ethan squeezed her hand and waited.

“I don’t remember much about the accident. My mom tells me I died while in the ER, twice.”

Ethan’s eyes narrowed.

“Thank goodness for great doctors. I obviously didn’t stay dead.”

“Obviously, thank God.” He squeezed her hand again.

“Shelley’s mom wasn’t so lucky. She never made it to the hospital alive. When I woke, Shelley was beside herself. She and her mom were very close. Survivors guilt you might call it.”

“It wasn’t her fault,” Ethan added.

“No, it wasn’t.” But that was when the ghosts started. She wanted to tell him but didn’t.

“How does this tie into your profession?”

Lauren remembered the time vividly. Mrs. Hammond’s ghost sat beside Shelley trying hard to communicate with her. After nearly a week, Lauren realized she wasn’t imagining things, that Mrs. Hammond’s spirit really was there. Lauren heard Mrs. Hammond’s words inside her head. Tell Shelley I love her. Tell her to live a long, full life and make me proud.

“Shelley’s heartache scared her father and the rest of us. One afternoon, during my recovery, I talked with her. I told her that her mom wouldn’t like her giving up on life because hers ended too soon, and that her mom would watch over her and always live in her heart. I explained about how when I died, I saw a light and that her mom was there.”

Lauren paused and looked to see if Ethan believed her.

“Did you see a light?”

“Yes, I did. Not many people believe me when I tell them that part of the story. It’s amazing to me how many people will try and disprove such things exist, yet all the while they attend church services every Sunday.”

Ethan simply listened, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. “Did Shelley listen and move on with her life?” he asked.

“She did. From then on I knew I needed to help people in Shelley’s position.”

The waiter stepped over to the table to deliver the check. Ethan released her hand and fished into his pocket for his wallet. After tossing a few bills on the table, he glanced over at her. “I’m sorry about the accident, but not that you decided to be a counselor. We may not have met otherwise.”

“You’re sweet.” Ethan Bailey definitely knew the right things to say. “It’s getting late.” Not that she wanted to end their date, but they both had to work the next day.

“Yeah, I hoped you wouldn’t notice.” Ethan stood and helped her into her coat. He kept his hand on the small of her back while guiding her out of the restaurant.

Beside her car, Lauren turned to him. The playful expression Ethan displayed all night slipped into something more thoughtful.

Would he actually kiss her this time, and not leave her all pent up like he had earlier? Fighting the nerves from the proverbial end-of-date-awkward-moment, she murmured, “I had a lovely time tonight.”

Ethan stepped closer, his hand reached out, gently touching her cheek. He searched her face with a serious look then reached over and removed the simple clasp holding her hair back. Ethan scrutinized her hair. He brought both hands up and ran his fingers through it. His adoring expression spoke volumes, more than his words. “I like it down,” he told her.

Her hair clips didn’t have a prayer. An involuntary shudder slid over her. She didn’t know what to say.

He moved closer, removing the space between their bodies. He held the back of her head and slowly brought his lips to hers.

Lauren sighed into his kiss while her eyes fluttered closed. His warm moist lips gently opened, his tongue testing her lips, asking for permission to enter. She moved closer, if that was possible, and opened for him, her tongue dancing with his in a light caress. Her purse fell from her hand and hit the ground. She reached around his waist, fanned open her fingers and held him. Ethan changed his angle, ran one hand down her back, and pressed her closer. His arousal sat firm and high against her belly. Her heartbeat galloped as their simple mingling of a first kiss grew into something more.

Her head started to swim and her spine tingled all the way to her toes before Ethan broke contact. His voice sounded husky with desire when he said, “I want to see you again.”

“I figured that out.” Lauren met his eyes with a smile.

“I have to work late tomorrow. How about Saturday?” His hand still stroked her back.

“I’d like that.”

“I’ll call you and pick you up.” Ethan moved away, bent and picked her purse up off the ground, and handed it to her.

“Okay.”

Before she managed to get behind the wheel, Ethan kissed her one more time as if he wasn’t able to stop himself.

“Goodnight, Ethan.”

He smiled and let her go. Lauren waved at him in her rearview mirror, where he watched her drive away.

She sucked in her lower lip and grinned all the way home.

~~~~

His weight held her down. Cool pressure covered her from chest to hips. Hands stroked her breast. Lauren’s mind saw Ethan, felt his lips on hers. A gasp of pleasure surfaced with the slow steady force of his leg between hers. She rode up with the contact wanting more than just a cool thigh touching her. A warm center of energy surged up with the friction.

Mine!

Her hips moved in a steady rhythm. Her fingers grasped the sheets at her side.

Mine!

Heat poured between her legs, and with a cry her body stilled as her orgasm rippled through her. “Ethan,” she shouted.

Mine!

Lauren’s eyes opened with a start, instantly realizing she’d had a complete orgasm from a dream. A tremor raced through her body. She’d heard women could have wet dreams, but she’d never experienced the sensation herself.

Suddenly, she felt the temperature drop, and chills spread over every inch of her skin. She raked in a full deep breath and then let the breath out. She could see it leave her lungs. The room was as cold as ice.

A small measure of panic seized her right before her stomach convulsed. Daring to move her head from side to side, she searched for the ghost that had to be in the room.

“Where are you?” She sat up, pulling the blankets over her. “Who are you?”

No sound or image manifested, but the air didn’t lose its chill. Someone, no, something was there. Watching. Then Lauren’s mind remembered the word from her dream. “Mine.” Her hand flew to her mouth. Short gasps of breath seized her lungs as she realized she’d been betrayed when the entity entered her mind and posed as Ethan. She scrambled up and away from the bed into a corner, sickened, reviled by the entity who violated her mind and used her thoughts and body against her.

“Who are you, what do you want?” Hysteria bubbled within her.

“Get out. I don’t want you here,” she screamed at the presence watching her.

The air started to warm.

Lauren scrambled up and out of the room, and then scrambled through her house turning on all the lights. Once the essence of the ghost diminished, Lauren fell onto the couch and gave into the angry tears.

Never before had a ghost penetrated her subconscious as this one had. Her skin itched as she tried to shake the icy aftermath of its presence away.

It wasn’t uncommon for a frustrated soul to knock over a book or glass of water, but to touch, never.

The vile, dirty intrusion into her warm, lovely dream about Ethan and his kiss soiled the memories and brought bile to her throat.

After a few moments, she wiped her face. The clock read two in the morning, but she couldn’t go back to that bed, tonight. Fear that the ghost would return stopped her. Fear her body would betray her again by responding to the images he tricked her with paralyzed her where she sat.

Closing her eyes, Lauren recalled his cold presence. How had the ghost entered her thoughts?

Her hands shook and her mind scrambled for ideas. She had to find a way to get rid of it. She went to her computer, turned it on, and pulled out a pad of paper to make notes. Once the internet connected, she did what any twenty-first century woman would do.

She Googled.

~~~~

Ethan paid for the two cafeteria sandwiches and sodas before he picked up the lunch and made his way to Lauren’s office. He couldn’t help but smile.

Their first date ranked up there with the best. Her warmth and honesty were as genuine outside of work as they were in. When he’d removed the clip from her wild, untamed hair, his fantasy of her blossomed into an obsession.

He knocked on the door of her office and her smooth voice welcomed him. “Come in.”

She pivoted in her chair. Her tired-looking eyes grew wide. “Oh.” She smiled. “What a nice surprise.”

He stepped in her tiny office and closed the door behind him. “I thought you might be hungry.” No, he really just wanted an excuse to drop in on her without looking like a complete lovesick puppy.

“Well, it being noon and all.”

“You don’t mind?”

“No, of course not. Here, sit down.” Lauren stood and removed papers from one corner of her desk and placed them across the room.

Ethan sat their meal down, but before Lauren had a chance to sit, he reached a hand out and pulled her into his arms. The corners of her mouth lifted as he bent down and brushed his lips against hers. Like the night before, she went limp in his embrace.

He could get used to that.

Reluctantly, he released her after only a few seconds. He ran the pad of his thumb over her lips. Her dreamy expression boosted his ego to enormous proportions. “I like that,” he told her.

“So do I.” Lauren sat down. “So what’s on the menu?”

Ethan opened the sandwiches. “I didn’t know what you liked so I bought ham and cheese or roast beef and Swiss.”

“Either one is fine with me.”

He handed her the ham and watched as she unfolded the paper around the sandwich. He glanced up at her face and noticed her eyes droop. “You look tired,” he said.

“I haven’t been sleeping well.”

She shivered, making him wonder what kept her up at night. “Has something been on your mind?”

“Not really.”

“Do you have a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep?”

“Staying…I guess. It’s nothing.” Her smile didn’t have the lift and glimmer in her eyes it normally did. He wanted to question her further, but she quickly changed the subject. “How is the ER treating you today?”

“It’s actually kind of quiet,” he told her as they slid into an easy conversation. “But don’t tell the nurses I said that. They’d have my head.”

“Right, the ‘Q’ word tends to make things go nuts for you guys.” Lauren nibbled at the edge of her sandwich and sat back in her chair.

Call it a superstition, but saying the word quiet in an empty Emergency Room did tend to jinx the place into a day of hell. “I don’t know of any scientific studies, but some words need to remain unsaid on days as nice as these.” Their conversation flowed between bites of food.

“More babies are born on full moons,” Lauren offered.

“Exactly.” Ethan bit into his sandwich before washing it down. “So, Saturday…”

Lauren swallowed and glancing at him over the sandwich. “You’re not trying to back out, are you?”

“I finally worked up the nerve to ask you out, backing out is the last thing on my mind.”

She laughed. “Some of the staff prodded me to ask you.”

“Did they?”

Lauren nodded and bit into her sandwich.

“Judy? I’d lay money on Judy pushing you.” Judy was one of the older nurses who’d nudged him in her own schoolmarm way. “She’s a nice girl, Ethan. Single too.”

Surprisingly, Lauren shook her head. “Not Judy.”

“Theresa?”

“Theresa is single.”

“So.”

“Theresa watches your butt—” Color shot to Lauren’s face faster than she could close her mouth. “Watches you when you’re not looking.”

“Who then?”

“Trudy.” Lauren sipped her drink with a smile.

He liked Trudy. Liked her even better now.

“Then there’s Kim, Nicole, and Deanna. Oh, and Milly from admitting, and Evette from radiology.”

As the names poured off her tongue, Ethan realized how transparent his affections for the woman in front of him had been. “So why didn’t you?” He took a bite of his sandwich.

“Why didn’t I what?”

“Ask me out?”

She glanced at the wall behind him for a moment while she chewed. “The truth?”

“Of course.”

“Fear. What if you’d said no? What if all the girls were wrong and you were just being friendly?”

“They weren’t wrong.”

“Yeah, well, I know that now. But what if? Men have asked women out for centuries. Why did I have to be the one to shift the balance?”

The more he learned about her, the more he liked. He knew then that some of the traditional flair of the dating game was what made the woman tick. Now, he needed to wiggle a little more information out of her so he could set up a series of perfect dates. “Do you like going to the movies? Concerts?”

“Movies are nice, live theater is better. I haven’t been to a concert since college. What kind of music do you listen to?”

Lauren in college was a pleasant thought. Which one did she go to? Did she have a sister?

“A mix. I didn’t like the big hair bands of the 80’s and I’m too young to have really understood what the 60’s music was all about.”

Ethan, used to shoveling food down during his shifts, finished his lunch and tossed the wrapper into her trash bin. Lauren set her forgotten sandwich aside and grabbed a pen and paper from her desk.

“Here’s my address and home phone number.”  As she handed him the piece of paper, the loud speaker paged Ethan’s name overhead.

Lauren glanced at the speaker on the wall. “Guess that means our lunch date is over.”

Ethan stood and pocketed her address. “Until Saturday. How’s six?”

“Six is good.”

He reached for the door, hating the fact that he had to leave. “Six.”

“Go to work, Ethan.”

“Right,” he said, smiling. God, he felt giddy.

As he headed back to the Emergency Room, the pleasant hum of a budding relationship settled over him. He couldn’t remember looking forward to a date more. His fantasy didn’t stop at the bedroom either. He wanted to know where she grew up, who her role models were. What did she do on her days off?

Ethan craved knowledge about Lauren Trousdale.

And he wanted to see her hair sprawled out on a pillow.