Panthera Spelaea

The cold woke me up. I was shivering, confused, and butt naked outside.

Everything hurt once again. My head felt like a spike went through it, and even my breathing hurt. I was lying on my side with a glass door in front of me. I blinked a few times to clear my eyes as a light came on inside. I relaxed as I saw Svetlana walk into the small apartment kitchen. My girl was wearing her scrubs, and she opened the refrigerator for something. I didn’t have the energy to yell, but I was able to knock on the glass. It took a few times before I got her attention. Her eyes got wide when she saw me in the dim twilight. “JOHN!”

She rushed to the door and unlocked it while I struggled to push myself up to my hands and knees. She opened the door and put my arm around her shoulder. Working with me, she helped me to my knees, then to my feet. “You are freezing, and you smell like fish,” she said as she guided me inside her apartment. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered.

“Let’s get you clean and warmed up.” She kept one arm around my waist as her other held my arm on her shoulder. It was slow going, but eventually, she brought me into the bathroom and got me in the tub. It had a shower wand, so she got warm water going and started to rinse the mud and specks of blood off of me. She even picked a small white feather off my back. “Are you hurt?”

“I don’t know. I’m sore all over again.”

I’d dirtied up her scrubs, so she tossed them aside and worked on me in her underwear. She started washing my body as the warm spray helped my limbs warm up. She found no cuts or other injuries when she checked me out. I followed her instructions about my soreness, moving my arms and legs around to loosen them up. While I warmed up, I told her everything that happened after I said goodnight last night.

The soreness wasn’t as bad as last time; the pain faded quickly with movement. She had just turned me over in the tub to get my backside when Anna walked into the apartment. “светлана? ты опоздаешь! (Svetlana? You’re going to be late)!”

“я знаю (I know),” Svetlana replied.

Anna opened the bathroom door to talk, freezing when she saw what was going on. “У тебя была ночь лучше, чем у меня (you had a better night than me).”

“It’s not what it looks like,” Svetlana said, “and use English so John can follow along. He’s had another blackout episode, and I found him a few minutes ago. He was freezing outside.”

“You should take him to the hospital and get him checked out,” Anna said as Svetlana stood up.

I turned over in the tub, hiding my privates with the small washcloth. “No, I can’t do that,” I told them. “The police already think I’m a killer. If I tell the doctors that I blacked out for five hours, the police will have me institutionalized. Any bad thing that happened within twenty kilometers of here will get blamed on me.”

“We need to know what is causing these blackouts,” Svetlana objected.

“The doctors found nothing before, and they’ll find nothing now,” I said. “I don’t want to see them, and if you make me go, I’ll never get out.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Go to work, Svetlana. I’ll borrow your couch and sleep for a week if it’s all right with Anna.”

She looked at her phone. “I can’t make it to the bus stop in time now.”

“Take a taxi on me, but you have to get my wallet first. Do you remember where I said I was?”

“The closest pond, up the hill on the left in the dense bushes.”

“Yes. Go there and pick up my clothes and belongings before anyone else finds them, then catch a taxi to work.”

“He showed up NAKED?” Anna couldn’t believe it when we confirmed it.

Svetlana did some quick thinking. “I can’t make it there and back and still get to work in time. I’ll call in sick.”

“No. Use the money in my wallet and take a taxi from the park to work. I’m not going anywhere, and I don’t need anything before you return. I’ll see you tonight.” I ended that with a big yawn.

“Go,” Anna told her. “I’ll take care of your boyfriend for you.”

Svetlana looked between the two of us before deciding. “Fine. Anna, you text me if anything changes. If he blacks out again, call an ambulance.” I shot her a look, but she glared back at me with that uniquely female look that told me the argument was over and I’d lost. “If it happens again, you NEED to see the doctors.”

“Fine.” Svetlana leaned down and kissed me, then left the room. She passed by wearing fresh scrubs, and then the front door shut a few seconds later.

Anna hadn’t left the bathroom yet, and I’d finished cleaning up. She gave me a towel from the cabinet, looking at me appreciatively as I reached for it. “I’ve only known Svetlana for a few months, but I can tell how much she likes you, John.”

“I like her too. A lot.”

Anna nodded, then turned to leave. “I think you are a nice guy because Svetlana doesn’t date assholes. Still, something is going on with you, and it makes me nervous. Nice guys don’t show up naked on their girlfriend’s deck.”

“I wish I knew how that happened. I’m not a peeping tom or a creep.”

Anna just nodded at me. “You better not hurt her, John. The cops will be the least of your problems if you hurt my friend.”

“I’d rather die than hurt her,” I said as I looked straight into Anna’s brown eyes.

“I believe you or the cops would already be here. I’ll see if I can find some shorts or something for you to wear.” She closed the door and left me to dry off. A minute later, she knocked on the door and handed me a T-shirt and running shorts. “Left behind by an old boyfriend,” she said.

I dressed and opened the door to find Anna waiting for me. She turned away from the living room. “You should sleep in Svetlana’s bed; I doubt you’d even fit on that couch.”

“She won’t mind?”

“I’m sure she won’t.” Svetlana’s bedroom was plain, with a few pictures on the wall I’d have to look at later. I slid into the bed, falling asleep before Anna closed the door.