Pandora's Curse

Inside it was warm, the fireplace going strong and the T.V. was on with the news blaring aloud.

“Is that-”

“Yeah, they’re talking about the ‘gas explosion’.” War stood in front of the couch watching the news tightly, eyes surveying all people thrown on screen. “That hall will be closed for a long time but there were no deaths except...”

“Except those in the ballroom. How will they get-”

“They have their ways. Pan has higher standing and connections, he can get things going easily.” Warren lowered the volume once the news changed to something else. “Unfortunately, we need to lay low for a bit until we can figure out where to go from here-”

“You still want to help?” The words blurted out before I could think it through. “I mean-”

“I made a deal, Pandora.” Warren didn’t bother looking at me as he coolly brushed past me. His words resonating loudly. I made a deal. We both did. I couldn’t say it didn’t hurt...with everything that was going on between us, it made everything more personal and I wasn’t sure where or when to starting pointing things out.

“Warren, I-”

“Pandora.” Warren slammed the remote on the table before sighing heavily as he turned around to face me. His face was blank, his eyes a cold autumn evening and his voice speaking my name sharply made me feel cold. “I need to know, is there anything else you haven’t mentioned yet?”

“No, there isn’t.” At his look my blood heats and the frustration fizzles inside as I meet his eyes with my glowering ones. “I mean it Warren. There is nothing else about the box.”

“Okay.” He nods tightly, and turns around, climbing up the stairs, voice calling back to me. “You can find a room, whichever one you want.” I stare after where he disappears on the stairs and then on the second floor which overlooks the first floor. My heart feels heavy in my chest which also feels tight and uncomfortable as if a painful knot is stuck inside, my stomach roiling as I sit on the edge of the couch, running a hand through my hair.

There was nothing to do now but spend a couple days hidden. Hidden with a man whose attitude met the weather outside and I hardly blamed him.

Sleep evaded me.

I kept finding myself staring up at the ceiling or the wall numerous times during the night, the minutes ticking by ever so slowly. The outside was a billowing wind that would force leaves and branches from the trees to scratch and rattle against the walls and the windows, leaving me startled and heart jump in my throat until I realized.

Stupid winds.

Slumping back into my pillow, I forced my eyes closed and just laid, waiting for sleep to pull me under. I needed sleep. My body ached, it had been a long day. Rough, emotional. I tried to ignore the bitter ache in my chest. But as minutes ticked by and I opened my eyes, glancing sideways to grab my phone and the time had barely changed from fifteen minutes ago.

Groaning, on the verge of a tantrum like a tired toddler, I sat myself up, shoving the sheets off me, crossing my legs as I buried my face in my hands.

I can’t sleep.

And the awful truth hit me even though I tried to push it away.

Because you’ll hear the screams again.

Grabbing my pillow from behind, I shoved my face into the plush material, biting down on it as I strangled down the despair, the guilt and the fury, keeping my muffled scream as quiet as humanely possible in my state of mind.

I wasn’t sure how long I kept my face buried in the pillow grumbling, cursing and crying but it was nice to breathe in fresh air once I pulled away. My eyes stung hotly with wet tears and clearing my throat hurt, like I had shoved sandpaper down there. Licking my dry lips, I threw my blanket off me and quietly left my room, phone light on so I could see where I was going and bonus that I wouldn’t blindly go down the stairs. That was just a recipe for disaster.

I turned the kitchen lights on, eyes flickering around, my body on edge as if waiting for someone to spring out of nowhere. But I was safe for now. Taking a glass from the cabinets and filling it to the brim with cold tap water and I took a seat on the couch, folding my feet up with me as I stared blankly into my glass of water.

I could hear them...the screams ringing in my head. Praying for a God, for anyone to help them. The rising smoke and desperation as people clawed in their panic to escape. I didn’t want to know but being responsible again for so much death...I needed to know. I needed to be responsible for it all. But I was hardly responsible, careful. Afterall, I got myself hurt, I got Dionysus wounded, Pan was hopefully okay, people killed and wounded. And Warren had to leave his home because of me.

What could I do right? Even without that stupid wretched box, I brought disaster and bad things. Maybe the box wasn’t the bad thing. Maybe it was me. Maybe it was all me. The box was not evil.

A sardonic laugh escaped me and I shakily sipped my glass of water. God, wouldn’t that make sense. Ha! What wretched box when I was the wretched one who caused all these things. With a choked sigh, lips trembling but I scowled as I slammed my glass on the coffee table and wiped my eyes harshly.

No crying, no crying! I did this, I needed to deal with it and I will. I can’t cry dammit!

But despite my angry monologue, as I slumped down sideways on the couch, burying my face in the pillow, the tears streamed out hotly and I forced myself to bite down my sleeve to stop the choked sobs from coming out.

“syngnómi...syngnómi.” The words muffled out as I tried to stop the stream of hot tears and my body wracked with fury and guilt for the all the lives that didn’t need to be lost today. I could cry and burn away my tears but the guilt dragged me down and I could only accept the pull to sleep where I would listen to it all over again.

There was a soft droning that pulled me slowly from sleep, my eyes aching. They felt dry and itchy, my head felt heavy like cotton had been shoved up there and nose gave a loud sniffle as I blinked through the bleariness. I raised my head slightly from the pillow, seeing the T.V. on but the volume was low and my body stretched out over the couch with a red, blue and yellow blanket placed over me.

I don’t remember putting this blanket on me.

“Long night.”

I slumped back onto my pillow, my eyes squeezing shut at Warren’s cutting voice from somewhere in the room. I pull the blanket up over my head, to hide or to continue sleeping, I was not sure yet but I could movement around and even though it was quiet, it wasn’t quiet enough to try and go back to sleep.

Grumbling, my mood dark and heavy, I kicked the blanket off me, letting it fall to the floor as I glare up at the ceiling, thankful the lights were off above me. Sitting up slowly, yawning deeply as lean my head against the back of the couch, staring at the fireplace which was on and emanating heat and warmth.

I felt cold. Numb. A frigid cold irritation that strangled me, my chest, everything. I wanted...Oh bloody-I don’t know what I wanted! What I needed was to wring a harpies head and serve it on a silver platter to Tartarus-

“I don’t know what you’re thinking of over there but maybe don’t direct your wrath to the fireplace. We could use the heat for today especially.” Blinking out of stupor which was a lovely vision of bashing a feathered face on the ground over and over until it was bloody mush of nothing- “Pandora-”

“I’m fine Warren.” I snapped, glaring partially over my shoulder. “I’m fine, okay.”

“Yeah, fine. That’s what it is.” Growling, my mood peeking as I swung my legs off the couch and reaching down to grab the blanket and forcefully throwing back on the couch. My mood driving every movement and action, grabbing my glass of water and storming into the kitchen. I was vaguely aware of my own action of actively avoiding looking at Warren even as I could feel his eyes on me, burning behind me as I turned the tap, filling my glass up with water. What I needed...what did I need? What did I really need right now.

Despite the dark thoughts circling my head, making any little thing a huge bother and irritation, I had nothing else going on. It was like an empty storm in my head. A storm I was stuck while I sipped my water, staring out the windows spread along the wall. It was lighter outside than yesterday but still grey, trees and their branches swaying in the chilly winds.

Movement beside me as Warren stood next to me, dropping his coffee mug in the sink and I could feel his eyes boring down at me while I struggled to ignore his gaze. I didn’t him reading me. I just needed to left alone, left alone to curse and despise whatever it was I needed. Especially myself.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, Pandora.” I tensed as he started speaking, his voice cool and distant, as if he was keeping his distance from me now. “I don’t know what is happening but you can’t help yourself-”

“Help myself? Why on earth would I want to help myself?” I drop the glass in the sink, not caring if it breaks and slip past Warren, my jaw aching and my mood, my mind black and vicious. “I didn’t need help. Other people did. Why bother helping myself when I don’t help anyone. I just make things worse. Hell, maybe the box isn’t the evil wretched thing. Maybe its me! I mean, doesn’t that make sense!” My words are quick building jumble that stream between my lips as I pace up and down, tearing my hands through my hair as my chest tightens in agony and the guilt is building like rising water up to my chest. “I mean anytime I’m involved, or doing anything people get hurt! Or die!” Humorless laugh escapes me and I press my clenched fists against my face as I gasp heavily. “The priest, the nuns! My mother, Epimetheus, Prometheus, Daphne! Dionysus, and all those...all those, those...” My eyes burn wetly, tears already slipping down as I face Warren, my hand pressed to my chest as my heart tightens in its confines. “All those people again.” A choked sob escapes as much as I struggle to hold it in.

Warren stares at me with no change in expression, his eyes cool autumn brown that watches me as I break slowly in front of him.

“And you," I throw my hand in his direction as I eye his cool gaze on me and "And I...I just...God, Urgh” A choked groan, I press my palms against my eyes, forcing the tears back and just managing to rein in the choking emotions swamping me. “I just keep...ruining everything.”

“Pandora,” He finally speaks, with no change I would've thought he hadn't said a word. "Are you angry, Pandora?"

I blink, staring at him confused from the odd question and can't find the words to say in my confusion.

"Uh, I...I guess so-" He stares at me and his face grows irritated, not hiding it as he eyes me coolly, darkly and he blows out a heavy breath and steps aside from the kitchen, shaking his head slightly as he stands before me. Eyes dark and filled with irritation and intensity that burns darkly.

"Pandora, there is no guessing so. Because if you guess so, you'll go outside, take a breath and cool down." His voice was sharp, authoritative and a flicker of red peaked but before I could say anything he turned away, disappearing down the hallway to the bathrooms, leaving me standing there stupid and irritated.

But fresh air does sound great.

Wanting something to do rather than standing around stewing in my choking guilt and anger when I could be somewhat productive while drowning sounded quite good. Slipping on my shoes next to the door, I opened the front door, closing it a little hard behind me and was immediately hit with a forceful, chilly wind that hit me like ice water.

Shivering but taking what I could, I stormed down the rocky, uneven mounds and-

A sudden shriek from the right caught me off guard and I stumbled over a rock, barely gaining my balance again as I stared at the stables where Adam neighed from within. Well, it would be a little warmer and some sort of company was better than nothing. Company that wouldn't talk back or make things more confusing than they were.

I pushed through the stable doors, the only light coming from the open window for Adam to take in fresh air. Adam was standing with his neck half out the window, unmoving and calm as I approached the impressive stallion slowly. With a heavy grunt, he pulled his head away to face me, ears twitching as he watched me approach.

"Morning Adam." I mutter, hand outstretched slowly, reaching for him and since he didn't make a noise or seemed to protest, I gently laid my hand on his side, running my fingers through his silky coat. The horse was nothing but pure muscle under the coat and with his terrifying size..."Makes sense why I was scared of you before. Kind of am still, but that's more on the idea you accidentally crush me without thought, couldn't you?" He snorted as if in answer and my face mellowed and honestly it was nice to talk without an answer back to a living creature. "I've done things, said things. And it hurts me because Warren hurt me too. I've hurt other people too. They've lost their lives because of me and I can't...I can't take that back. I just...I don't know where to start with all of this. What if I'm the burden? The one responsible, not some box that we make it out to be? I don't know...how to be angry. How to...be really angry. For myself, for everyone else, for everything that's happened." Fighting against the hot eyes as I lean against Adam's flank who allowed me. "I need to stop crying like a crybaby. What do tears do anyway? I need, to just find a way to be strong and we're going to face up against Aello and her sisters." Adam snorted aggressively, his hoof scuffing the ground and I met his turned gaze on me. "You recognize the name, not surprising, you're a smart horse." Shaking my head at my own words.

"War - if he still really wants to, I wouldn't blame him if he doesn't, but facing Aello was terrifying. I can't imagine facing her sisters at the same time plus a whole nest of harpies. I don't how I could've gotten this far without Warren and I still need his help. But it's so much more than that. But that's not important," I quickly backtracked, my words escaping without thought. "I just don't how to fight against Aello and her sisters, especially when they have my box. How can I fight that? I'm useless when it comes to a fight. People are dead because of me. How can I have the strength or just dare call faith on myself when I rely on someone else? Warren knows the way of course, like you..." Adam huffed quietly as I absentmindedly stroked his mane. "But it's one man against an army of harpies-"

"I've had worse odds."

"Christ..." My body tenses violently as Warren speaks from the open doorway before relaxing, irritation growing in my voice. "Don't scare me."

"Then pay attention." Warren snapped so suddenly and I stared at him stunned before looking away with a scowl and heard Warren step closer inside. "And I mean it, Pandora. Pay attention." He nodded sharply at me, gesturing for me to approach.

What?

War strode past Adam further into the stables, arms crossed over his chest, his thin dark shirt strained against the muscles and from having just been thrown on after a shower. Bits of hair stuck to his forehead and back of his head, a light sheen of water on his forehead, neck and the glimpse of his chest above the rounded collar. His eyes were far from amused or light-hearted, dark and cool. Like he stood before me as nothing more than a general and I was but a mere soldier. Stepping away from Adam, struggling to keep meeting his dark gaze.

"Again, I'll ask. Are you angry, Pandora?" I don't answer, confused and irritated at the question. Because I was angry, what did it matter. I didn't need to answer because Warren continued to speak. "And don't say you guess so or some blasé answer. I know better. Remember, I am War." Warily meeting his gaze, I faced pitch blackness and only a flicker of a red storm within, unable to let me go as I swallow heavily.

"I know, I can't afford to be angry," I murmur, struggling to lower my gaze, my feet shuffling awkwardly on the stable floor. "I-"

"Who said you can't afford to be angry?" Warren snapped harshly and I stared at him, more confused and he raised a brow at me. "You don't think you're not allowed to feel?"

"I..." I hesitate, struggling to come up with the right words. "I...I am upset, angry with Aello and scared. But if I'm scared and angry, I can't do anything. I'll be useless. Emotions are-"

"Emotions are fuel, Pan." Warren's glare softened ever so faintly. "I know what you're trying to say and what you're thinking. But trust me Pan, it doesn't work like that."

"I-"

"You're emotions are controlling you though. It has to be the other way around." I blink at him, confused and unsure and Warren stares down at me unmoving and barely blinking. Then suddenly his lips curl into a wicked smirk and he suddenly steps back, reaching for something and unhooks two, thin metal rods. He steps back in front of me and before my confused eyes I'm left startled when he raises one end of the rod to me. "So, are you ready for round two with a poker?"