Palindrome

I hesitated before I opened the door, “Sure, I`ll leave you alone. As long as you and your family do the same.” His eyes hardened, “I`ll talk to them, and see to that they behave.” William put the car in drive, and I had one foot outside the door when I felt him grab my hand. Hard at first, then more gently, I gave a harsh breath when his thumb caressed my knuckles quickly; it seemed like he wanted it to feel unintentional.

“Hannah. I…” His low voice made me squirm; how was it that I was 22 years old, and no one had made me feel anywhere close to the way just his voice made me feel? I had to look up lust spells, see if I recognized anything there. “I need to be mean.” I opened my eyes; I didn’t realize I`d closed them. I was still facing the door, and I kept myself that way. “What are you saying?”

“I`m saying that I need to treat you like we normally do witches, with hate.”

I felt tears gather in my eyes at the thought; I didn’t know what he meant by his statement; why did “they” hate us so much? I was so confused by the difference in his words and how he looked at me.

“So you hate me? Why?”

He squeezed my hand, “I don`t. I don`t think so, anyway. But our…our family have hated your kind as long as we can remember. From early on, we learn you are only good for one thing, and if you can`t give it to us, then you are not needed in this world.”

I turned blindly to him, “What? What do you need? Tell me something, at least; I need to know. I need to know why you hate me; I need to know what you are.”

Instead of answering me, he moved closer in a blurry motion that left me dizzy. “Big difference in what I need and what my family needs.” Hard lips crashed against mine, the scent of him overwhelming me. He was warm, hard, soft, persistent, and persuasive, driving me mad. Two seconds. I lasted two seconds before my hands were in his hair, tugging him closer, even though it was impossible. The kiss was epic; it was tongue, lips, biting, licking.

His warm hands went under my sweater, and the feeling of his touch on my bare skin made me push my thighs together; I needed to ease the sweet pain. “Hannah…” he breathed into my mouth, making it a prayer. A spell. His left hand wandered up, the back gracing my breast, making me whimper. He heard the low sound and let the hand move a fraction longer into the tender area. The other hand glided into my hair when I felt him bite my lower lip. The pain mixed, one made by raging lust and the other by real pain, as he grabbed the hair covering my wound. William heard the difference in my outcry, dragged his hands away from me, and pushed himself back into the seat, sounding like he`d run a marathon. His lips were bloody; I realised it was from me. I tasted the blood in my mouth, rich and salty. William closed his eyes, heaving after air.

“I`m so sorry. Please leave.”

I didn’t know what to say. My whole body was on fire if he hadn’t pulled my hair, I`d ended up riding him in the car. My face turned even warmer, reality hitting me. Without a word, I left the car.

I leaned against the door when I got inside, feeling my legs give away. What the hell did just happen? I touched my lips, seeing the blood on my fingers, reminding me about his bite. He claimed he wasn’t a vampire; what then? I spent half an hour on the floor, too shaken to do anything else than re-live the kiss in my head, like a damn teenager.

When I thought my legs would work again, I walked into the bathroom. Usually, the house talked to me; now it was eerie quiet. As if the house-spirits were shocked about my behavior. If Dad had seen me… I shook my head, do not think about that. I needed a cleanse. I needed to get him out of my head, of my body. William had said it himself. My lips were bloody, but the bite didn’t bleed anymore. Face pale, eyes big and burning. Usually, it was only after a significant ritual that my eyes burned golden, somehow the kiss had made them glow. Maybe it was because it felt like a ritual? No, not thinking about it. I grabbed a towel and cleaned away the blood, scrubbing my face without touching the bandage. What a day. I hadn’t even gotten my shopping done.

The rest of the day went by in a haze; I was doing something the whole time; I just didn’t know what. I was on autopilot, my mind working on ten mysteries simultaneously. Who were the Adamsons? What were they? Why was there an angel in Louisville? Why did she seem afraid of the Adamsons? Why did William have to be such a good kisser? Why did he need to pretend to hate me? Was it pretending? My blood went cold at the thought; maybe this was him “winning me over”? I hid my face, embarrassment and anger filling me. How could I forget his words at the store? Maybe this was all a game? But he had seemed so… so eager. His eyes had burned as much as mine; his breathing had followed my erratic puffs. His hands had been just as trembling as mine. I scrubbed the toilet with double the force needed, welcoming the pain from my wound. I stayed up all night, and didn’t need someone keeping me awake; I did that fine by myself.

I walked down to the store early the following day, afraid that I would bump into one of the Adamsons. If he did do this as a way of winning me over, he had told his siblings. I didn’t need any of them gloating over their brother`s ability to charm me to my knees. I most definitely didn’t need William gloating over it. Finished, I had a full backpack and a bag as well. The cashier recognized me from yesterday and asked me about my injury. I told her it looked worse than it was in reality, downplaying it a bit. She smiled, “Good thing your handsome boyfriend was here; he swooped in like a prince in a fairy tale.” I frowned, “Not my boyfriend, but he was kind enough to take me to the doctor.” The cashier continued smiling, “The way he looked at you? He looked like he wanted to eat you whole. I would grab him before any other do it, you know how this town is, new flesh.” I gave her a bland smile, thinking about her words. If not a vampire, then what?

Safe inside my house again, I put away all the items before I swept the floors. I had some sage prepared for this ritual all the time. I lit one up and went from room to room, wafting the smoke around.

Bless this House. May peace dwell within

Protect all that enter, whether friend or kin

Bless every door, window, ceiling, and wall

Bless each room, closet, and basement; Bless it all

Bless the roof and ground surrounding

With your protective love and light.

Hold us in your loving care every second

Of every day and night. Above and so below,

So mote it be!

I repeated the blessing as I went around, the sense of peace settling. The full moon was a week from now; maybe I`d get more answers under the “drawing down the moon” ritual.

The following week went by in a blur, William and his siblings kept away from the café, or maybe they went when I wasn’t there; I didn’t dare to ask after them since word had gotten around that William was the one who drove me to the doctor. I knew better than others how fast rumors travelled in a little town. My head was hurting the first days, but I used a recipe from my great-grandmother which worked wonders on the pain and the healing.

By day four, there was barely a scar; Oscar marvelled at the sight. “Wow, it`s almost gone.” I smiled and pulled away from his touch. “See, I said it wasn’t that serious. It`s just that head-wounds tend to bleed a lot.” He had his hand hanging in the air, the want from him diffused the air between us. I hated this, I just wanted to be friends. I didn’t want to treat him like dirt either, so I hoped he would take one of my many “just friends” hints. If he didn’t, I`d have to drop a spell on him. I busied myself with thinking of different options as I tidied a table where a family traveling through town had eaten lunch. I`ve heard the mum reading from a travel-guide, telling the kids about the witch who used to live at the edge of town. The Legend of the Louisville-witch was one of the main tourist attractions in town, the irony not escaping me every time I helped on a guided tour, telling about the legend to big-eyed children and parents that smiled sceptically. I had on my cape and a hat, cringing a bit by the stereotype, but it drew in a lot of people. I told the family about the tour and that they could book in the café if they wanted to try when they got back. The oldest kid lit up and started nagging his parents right away, but the smaller girl looked at me with wonder in her eyes. I put down her glass of soda when she tugged at my hand. “Scuse me, are you a witch?” I got down on my knee and smiled at her. “Would you be afraid if I`d said yes?” I kept my voice low, wanting this moment to be between us. If she could spot me, that probably meant she had the power latent in her. “No, not at all.” Right then her father told her to stop bothering the waitress, so I just smiled and winked at her. As they left, she waved at me and held a finger up to her lips, silently promising me to keep my secret. The memory of the meeting made me smile, but that turned into a small scream as I turned with the tray in hand, slamming it into a tall man standing right behind me. Luckily, nothing broke, but I struggled to get the glasses under control.

“So sorry, didn’t see you standing there.” My voice was a bit breathless, showing I got a scare. The man didn’t answer, just looked down at me with blazing blue eyes. I took a step back, feeling the tray shake in my hands, I could hear the sound of the glasses clanking together.

“Hannah Reeveer?”

I blinked one time, the only affirmation I gave. He smiled and my heart jumped, seeing William`s smile on an older man.

“You look like your mother.” The smirk repeated the similarities. Then his words hit me.