Outsiders

My room was the tiniest one in the entire complex. It was on the first floor at the end of the far back west hallway. Nobody wanted it or I’d have probably been thrown out a long time ago. It was big enough to hold my standard bed, my dresser, and a large dog bed for when I was too tired to clean up and just wanted to stay wolf and not mess up my sheets. It didn’t even have a closet. I had stuck up some of those little plastic hooks to put a couple of hangers on for my good pants and shirts. The bathroom was a model of efficiency. You could brush your teeth while on the toilet. It was that small. The towel rack was on the back of the door. My jammies hung on a hook on the outside of the bathroom door. My winter coat was on a hook on the door to the hall. Wolfie, my stuffed gray wolf, had a perch in the single window seat. There wasn’t room for a chair.

Ginger stood outside my door. She had her arms crossed and gave me a heavy sigh.

“Girl. Don’t tell me they gave you this mess?” she said.

Ginger was my best friend. She was a weirdo, like me. She was a trans werewolf. She had elected not to have any surgery; so, she rarely shifted. She said being a male wolf just confused her to death. She had given me Wolfie when I first arrived at the house because she said I needed someone to cuddle and talk to. She was right. I had no idea how old Ginger was. Were don’t age like humans.

“All mine.” I said, smiling.

“She has been crying and talking to herself non-stop.” Ginger said, “I wish you luck.”

She had recently dyed her hair a lovely ginger color. She said she wanted to match her name. She patted my shoulder and headed back down the hall. I wished Ginger was coming in with me. I’d always found her comfortable to talk with. I didn’t know what I was going to say to calm down some hysterical female. I was no therapist.

Well. Nothing was going to happen standing in the hall. I knocked on the door. That felt bizarre. It was my room.

“Uh, hi. My name is Cassie. Can I come in?” I said pretty loud in case she was in the middle of a crying bout.

“Do you have fangs and claws?” the woman nearly screamed.

Yeah. Not currently. This was going well. Not.

“No. Just cookies.” I said.

“Su…sure.” She said sniffling.

I took a breath and opened the door. I walked in and shut it behind me. It took me a minute to find her. She was on the floor in the small space between the window and the bed, peering over the mattress at me.

“Hi.” I said, smiling big to show no fangs.

“You’re not one of those monsters?” she said wiping her face with the back of her hand, “You’re not going to show me claws and sharp teeth and…”

“No, no.” I said quickly.

I had seen her face clouding over with panic as her voice level rose and sped up. My stomach twisted, seeing that look of fear. I squelched back the memories. I needed to deal with her now. Not the past.

“My name is Cassie. What’s yours?” I said.

“Katelyn. Bishop.” She said, still looking at me like she expected me to shift.

Seeing that kid shift in front of her had to have blown her mind. It was a wonder she was as coherent as she was.

“Brought you some cold water.” I said holding out the bottle.

I didn’t want to move quite yet. She was like a frightened rabbit. Anything could set her off.

“Thanks.” She said focusing on my hand.

See? No claws. I just held the bottle out. I’d stalked rabbits before. Patience was the name of the game. She took a long shuddering breath and wiped at her face again.

“Like some tissues?” I asked, nodding towards the box on top of my dresser.

I wasn’t moving until I had some assurance that she had settled down a bit.

“Water?” she said.

Okay. She was trailing behind me. I took a slow step in her direction and then another. She was staring at my hand making sure it stayed a hand, I guess. I laid the bottle on the bed where she could reach it and retreated. When she took it and unscrewed the top, I reached behind me to get the tissue box. I repeated my slow-motion movement to place it on the bed. Then I stepped back to the opposite side of the bed next to the dog bed. I settled down on the floor while she blew her nose.

Her eyes were starting to focus on the room and me. Her color was less pale. She wasn’t breathing in giant gulps. She drank some more water but then she began worrying a tissue into shreds.

“I picked up some cookies from the kitchen.” I said hoping to derail any memory loop she had going. “They’re homemade.”

I leaned forward to put the paper towel-wrapped bundle halfway across the bed.

“Those things eat cookies?” she said holding her breath.

I had to laugh.

“Those boys love cookies. Particularly warm out of the oven with milk.” I said.

Her lips quirked up in an involuntary smile.

“Oh, god.” She said, “It was real, wasn’t it? That boy. He was a dog. I mean a wolf and then he was a boy and he had been eating this poor deer and …”

“Whoa, whoa.” I said, stopping the rising tide that threatened a return to hysteria. “It was real, all right. The guys took him out to teach him how to hunt. He shouldn’t have shifted in front of you, but I’m thinking you scared him. They were all werewolves, and they would never hurt you. You just have to cope with the idea that this was natural for them.”

“The blood.” She whispered.

“Pretty gruesome for vegetarians and those who like their food well done.” I said, nodding in agreement.

“How often?”

“Hardly ever. Like I said. They were just teaching the youngster how to be a wolf. Most of the time everyone eats food cooked in the kitchen here in the dining rooms.”

“How many people like us are there?”

I paused. I didn’t want to tell her I was one of those deer-killing monsters she was afraid of. I didn’t want to send her back over the edge but mainly I wasn’t sure I could deal with seeing the fear in her eyes aimed at me. I’d be the one freaking.

“You came at a very busy time. We’re getting ready for the summer solstice party and every room here is full of people. That’s why you’re in my room now. I don’t have a count of Were versus non.”

That was a true statement. People brought their girl or boyfriends and a few of them were vanilla human. Not many but I wasn’t lying.

“And they just get along?”

“Some of them are even married. I hope they get along.” I said chuckling. “So, how did you end up in the woods?”

Her light brown eyes suddenly studied my blanket and her lips compressed into a narrow line.

“It doesn’t matter.” she said, quietly.

That was a clear enough ‘drop it’ signal. I was just trying to keep her talking and off the freak out train. Her scent was weird. Of course, I hadn’t spent any time one on one with a human in years. There was smoke mixed in. Maybe she’d been at a campfire and gone off to pee and gotten turned around. Though there was a chemical overlay, too. Maybe one of those mechanical things campers used to cook on. Uh-oh. Her eyes were starting to dart. Need to divert her brain.

“If you decide you want to take a shower, I have one right behind that door. Since my room is right over the hot water heaters, I get instant hot water and as much as you want.” I said pointing, “And we have a quick cycle washing machine in the basement that can get your outfit clean and dry while you shower.”

“Trying to get rid of me?” she said, smiling slightly, re-engaging.

“Not a bit.” I said, stopping my musing that her shoulder length hair when clean would be the same mahogany-brown color as Bradyn’s. “I just thought after trekking through the woods, you might want to get clean, but if you’re comfortable, that’s cool.”

“I think I want a cookie first.” She said glancing up at me as she unfolded the paper towel.

“Always my first thought.” I agreed, grinning at her across the bed.

She pushed the open package closer to me with a smile as she took a big bite of hers. I took a cookie to be sociable, not that I ever turned down a cookie.

“I think I saw that we’re having lasagna tonight.” I said.

“Deer meat?” she said, looking suddenly green.

“No!” I said nearly choking on my cookie, “I think it’s hamburger or maybe sausage. You know. Regular kind of lasagna. Garlic bread, salad, chocolate brownies and vanilla ice cream for dessert.”

“Just people food.” She said mulling it over.

“That’s right.” I said, having almost said ‘that’s what we are.’ I was still pretending for the time being. Until she was firmly anchored on the side of Were didn’t stalk humans, I needed to keep her calm.

“Maybe I do need a shower.” She said.

“Whatever you want.” I said, “I’ll get you a clean towel and take your clothes down to the laundry while you get cleaned up.”

“Thanks.” And she smiled up at me, guiltily, “Can I have another cookie?”

“You bet. Unless the guys have emptied the cookie jar.” I said.

She stripped in the bathroom and tossed her clothes out which was kind of weird. I guess she was body shy. That was certainly not a Were trait. Of course, we had to be naked to shift; so, we were used to seeing each other without clothes. Even so, we were both girls. Same parts. But whatever. I grabbed her clothes and headed off for more cookies, a towel, and the basement laundry.