Outside the Lines: A Novel

At first, David thought it was a dream. He was sitting outside the exit of Union Station, setting up his easel for the late evening travelers. Since leaving Common Ground a few weeks before, he had made enough for a bottle every night, enough to keep the beasts in his head sleepy. That was enough, David thought. That was all he really needed.

But there was her voice. Eden. His daughter, calling him Daddy.

When he looked toward the sound, there was this beautiful woman standing before him. Her dark hair fell to her shoulders, her vivid blue eyes the same as they’d always been. All sound around them seemed to disappear and he smiled. “Bug,” he said, calling her the nickname he’d given her when she was a baby. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you,” she said. She cried as she spoke, but she smiled, too, so David knew she was happy.

He didn’t know whether it was all really happening or his mind was playing tricks on him until he was holding her. The smell of her skin, the solid strength of her grasp—these told him she was real. A young man approached and stood next to them. He was on the shorter side, with dark hair, kind green eyes, and a softness around his smile that told David he had a good soul. Eden’s husband, perhaps? Was she married? Did she walk down the aisle without him? Not that he could blame her, of course. He was lost to her many years before. He had no one to blame but himself.

“How did you find me?” David asked his daughter, pulling back just far enough to gaze at her pretty face.

“Matt Shockley, at Common Ground,” she said, lifting a hand to wipe away her tears.

“Matt?” David was puzzled. Had he been microchipped? Were they tracking him again? What exactly was going on here? “How do you know him?”

“It’s a long story,” Eden said. She shifted to David’s side, keeping an arm wrapped around him. “Dad, this is Jack Baker. He’s been helping me look for you. He runs a shelter up in Seattle called Hope House. Have you been there?”

David shook his head, trying to take all this in. “No, don’t think I have.” He reached his hand out and Jack took it. The man’s handshake was firm, a good sign. Not her husband, then. A boyfriend, perhaps? As he rested them upon Eden, Jack’s eyes were full of emotion. He loved her. But she’s a little girl. How could she have a boyfriend? Wait. What year is it again?

David shook his head, trying to straighten the jumbled thoughts in his brain. Eden was here. She’d been looking for him. Why had he stayed away from her so long? Why did he never go back to find her again? He knew why. Because he couldn’t keep enough meds in his body to stay well. If she had talked to Matt, Eden already knew this. Then what did she want with him?

“So, what now?” Jack said, practically voicing the question in David’s own mind.

Eden looked at Jack, then back to David. “I don’t know,” she said shakily, but with a smile on her face. “I wasn’t expecting to actually find him. Now that I have, I don’t know what comes next!” She took David’s hands in her own. “What do you want to do, Dad? Do you have a place to stay tonight?” Her eyes were so bright, so happy. He could not refuse her.

David nodded. “I just need to get a few more dollars together for the room.”

“Oh, no,” Eden said in protest. “You’re staying with us.” She looked at Jack. “Right?”

Jack hesitated, only for a second, but David saw it. “Of course,” Jack said. “David? Do you want to come with us?”

“Of course he does,” Eden answered for him. She hugged David again and he couldn’t believe the emotion that exploded inside his body. He hadn’t felt anything like it for years. He didn’t think it was still possible. He suddenly wanted to paint, to throw violent swirls of red and purple on the page, to trap the feelings where they wouldn’t overtake him.

“Do you live in Portland?” David asked, still confused a bit as to how she had managed to find him. This was happiness, right, these feelings inside him? He’d been numb for so long, he couldn’t know for sure.

“No, we both live in Seattle, Dad.” She looked at Jack. “Can you carry his things, baby?” she asked him. Baby. Oh, his daughter loved this man, too. There was a tenderness in her voice David recognized as the same Lydia had once had in her own for him.

Jack looked at David. “Is that okay, David?”

“Is what okay?” David took a step back. “What do you want to do to me?”

Jack’s expression softened. “I’d just like to pack up your things for you. We’d like to take you to the hotel where we’re staying.” Jack looked at Eden. “And we’ll figure out what we’re going to do in the morning?”

“Yes,” Eden said in agreement. “We’ll get a good night’s sleep and talk in the morning.” She looked at David. “Okay, Dad?”

“Sure,” David said, unsure of exactly what it was they had to talk about. But his daughter wanted him to come, so he would go. He didn’t see any other choice he could make. He watched Jack carefully fold up the easel and stool while Eden held on to the sketch pad. She chattered on about how long she’d been looking, and all this time, he’d been so close. David’s mind spun, trying to wrap itself around the moment. He was going to the hotel with his daughter and her boyfriend. That was as much as he could grasp.

“Will they let me in the hotel?” he asked when they climbed into a car and started driving toward downtown. He hadn’t showered in a few days. Money hadn’t been great.

“Of course they will,” Eden said. She sat next to David in the backseat. “You’re my guest, and you’re spending the night. We’ll get a roll-away bed. Or another room. I’ll pay for another room if they have one near ours, okay?”

“Okay.” David stared out the window, not saying much until they got to the hotel.

After he parked, Jack turned around and smiled at him. “Let me go check for another room, okay, David?”

“Sure,” David said. He already liked this man, the one who loved Eden. His daughter had chosen well. Jack got out of the car and Eden squeezed David’s hand.

“I just can’t believe you’re here,” she said. “I’ve been looking for so long.”

“I tried to get in touch with you,” David said.

Eden’s face fell. “I know. I’m so sorry, Dad. The first time, when it all first happened, when you left? I didn’t know. I didn’t know about the letters. Mom sent them back to you, not me.”

“She did?” David’s head buzzed. Anger suddenly pulsed through his veins; he felt his face turn red. That bitch. It was her fault all along.

No, David told himself. Not now. We can’t do this now.

“She thought it was the right thing to do at the time,” Eden told him. “I just found out about them barely a month ago.”

“Oh.” His blood still wouldn’t settle in his flesh; it churned until David wanted to scream. He didn’t want to be in this car. He wanted to go back to the train station.

“I got the other two, the ones you sent me about ten years ago?” Eden said, interrupting his thoughts of escape. “But I was so angry, thinking you just left without a word to me, I didn’t answer them.” She looked at him with tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Daddy. If I had known, it might not have been this way for you. We might have kept in touch and you wouldn’t have ended up like this.”

“Like what?” David said, instantly set on the defensive. Eden appeared too wrapped up in her excitement to notice.

“Living on the streets,” Eden said. “I could have helped more. Been a support to you.”

“Huh.” David took a couple of deep breaths. “After what I did? What you saw? You still would have supported me?”

“I’d like to think so,” she said. “Oh look, there’s Jack.” She opened the door and jumped out of the car. “Did you get a room?” she called out.

Jack nodded and gave the thumbs-up sign. David slowly climbed out of the car, not sure where he was headed or how long he’d stay.