Offside Hearts (Love and Hockey Book 1)

My heart is beating so hard that I can feel my ribs shake with every thud.

I stare down at Noah, on his knees before me, begging for a second chance, as a confusing mix of emotions tangle together inside me.

I believe him.

When I agreed to meet with him to talk in private, I had some idea of what I expected him to say, but none of it was even close to what he actually told me. I’m blindsided by the revelation that his father threatened to expose my secret, essentially blackmailing Noah into doing what he wanted.

It fits though, as awful as that is.

Everything I know about Noah’s dad makes me certain he’s the kind of man who would stoop to blackmail, especially if all he had to do was threaten some ‘gold digging’ woman who was dating his son. And with the way Brent seemed to ignore Gwen at the event Noah took me to, it’s not hard to imagine him cheating on her.

But knowing all of that doesn’t erase the heartache I’ve gone through.

It doesn’t erase the pain of knowing that Noah lied to me.

As if he can read the thoughts in my mind, the man before me bows his head, tears sliding down his cheeks.

“Please just promise me you won’t quit the Aces,” he whispers. “I’ll leave. I’ll terminate my contract. You won’t have to see me, and you can keep doing what you love.”

He thinks I won’t forgive him, I realize in a rush.

He thinks it’s truly over, that keeping his father’s blackmail from me and lying about the pregnancy is something I’ll never be able to get past. And even knowing that, he’s still willing to give up his place on the team, possibly even his career, to try to make me happy. To give me what I want.

“You didn’t…” My throat is so tight that my voice chokes off, and I have to start again. “It’s not completely ruined, Noah.”

His head lifts, hope blazing in his shadowed, bloodshot eyes. I take a small step toward him, until we’re only a foot apart. The faint, spicy scent of his aftershave teases my nostrils, familiar and comforting, and my eyes swim with tears.

“I loved you so much. I love you so much. No one has ever made me feel the way you do, which is why it hurt so much when I thought you’d cheated on me. When I thought you’d thrown it all away. I couldn’t understand it, and you’re right—it did destroy my faith in people. Because if I couldn’t trust you, then who could I trust?”

“I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, then leans closer, wrapping his arms around me and pressing his forehead against my stomach as his voice breaks. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Without thought, I drop my hands to his hair, sliding my fingers between the strands. We stay like that for a long moment, and I can feel his body shaking with silent sobs as he holds me tightly. When he finally tilts his head up, I look down to meet his gaze.

“I should’ve told you from the very beginning,” he murmurs hoarsely, his eyelashes clumped together with tears. “Fuck what my dad said. I should never have lied to you.”

“He didn’t give you a choice.”

“There’s always a choice.” Noah’s voice turns fierce, self-recrimination burning in his eyes. “Sure, he blackmailed me, but I fucked up the second I decided that lying to you and pushing you away was the best way to keep you safe. That’s not how you protect someone if you really love them. If you love someone, you show up for them. You stand by their side. And that’s what I should’ve done with you.”

My vision blurs as tears swim in my eyes, something simultaneously painful and sweet filling my chest.

This is what I was waiting for, even if I didn’t know it.

This is what I was waiting to hear him say.

I nod, sucking in a breath before I speak. “You should have. Because that’s where I want you, Noah. With me, by my side. But only if you can promise me that you’ll never lie to me like this again. About anything. No matter what it is.”

“I promise,” he says instantly, his hands tightening on my hips as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he lets go. “I swear, baby.”

I smooth his hair back from his face. It hasn’t been that long since the last time I saw him, but I swear it’s gotten longer in that time, messy and unkempt.

“Good,” I whisper.

He smiles at me, hopeful and tentative, and I let my fingertips ghost over his temples and cheekbones, mapping the contours of his face. He leans into my touch, his eyelids falling closed, and I feel like something rotten and poisonous is seeping out of me, leaving my heart lighter than it’s felt in days.

Then the reality of what we’re facing starts to sink in, and my stomach twists. I know the truth now, which is something, but the rest of the world still believes a lie. And Noah can’t set the record straight, or else his father will go to Nathaniel.

“You shouldn’t have to lie for your brother,” I say, my heart beating harder. “You should tell the truth. And if your dad follows through on his threat and tells Nathaniel what I did… I’ll deal with that.”

Noah’s eyes widen, and I swallow hard, fear churning in my gut.

“I knew it was a risk when I did it,” I continue. “I knew it was illegal. But even now, after everything that’s happened, I still wouldn’t take it back. If I could go back and do it all again, I wouldn’t change what I did. Because it helped Heather get back on her feet and kept her out of the clutches of a monster. That’s worth it to me. No matter what happens.”

“No.” Noah is shaking his head before he even finishes saying the word. “No, Margo. There’s no fucking way I’m letting you lose your job over this, or worse, go to jail. Over my dead fucking body.”

He surges to his feet suddenly, cupping my face in his hands. Conviction shines in his eyes, bright and sharp.

“I’m gonna fix this,” he promises. “I’m gonna fix what I broke. I’m not letting my dad win.”

“How?” I whisper, reaching up to press my hands over his.

“I don’t know.” His jaw clenches. “But I’ll figure something out. We’ll figure something out. I promise you, you will not be alone in this. I won’t let my father hurt you. Because he’s not my family anymore, Sunflower. You are. You taught me what family is—what it’s supposed to be. You’re the center of my world, and anyone who tries to come after you had better be prepared to come for me too. Do you understand?”

I let out a tiny sob, nodding once.

He pulls me into his arms, holding me in a tight embrace. My arms wrap around him too, my palms spreading over his back as our hearts crash together in unison.

My emotions are still a roiling, confused mess. I’m terrified of what the fallout of all of this will be.

But as I cling to Noah, breathing in his familiar scent, one undeniable truth settles into my chest, taking up root there. No matter what happens, no matter what comes next…

I’m not alone.