Of Light And Shadows

Four days had passed since Jia pierced Abaddon’s heart with the obsidian knife. She expected to feel elated, or devastated, or nauseous, or something, but after the original sickness and shock she just felt numb.

“Shortstack? Hey!” Mammon grabbed Jia’s shoulder and shook it gently. “You okay, kid?”

“Yeah, sorry. I was just lost in thought.”

“You looked like a zombie. You’ve not been right since Abaddon.” He frowned and tipped her chin up, peering at her face. “You haven’t been sleeping, have you?”

“Not really,” she admitted.

“Nightmares?”

“No, actually.” He squinted at her for a moment.

“Wait here.” She watched in bewilderment as he scanned the common room and found who he was looking for. He marched over to where Evander and Belphegor were chatting quietly and grabbed both of them by the elbows, ignoring their protests as he dragged them towards her.

“What now?” Bell muttered.

“Why does everyone insist on dragging me everywhere?” Evander complained, tugging his arm out of Mammon’s grip.

“Talk to her,” the amber eyed Demon replied, nodding towards Jia.

“Huh?”

“You heard me. You’re her best friend and Bel knows how to handle trauma better than most. So both of you talk to her.” And then Mammon turned and walked away.

“Is he always like that?” Evander asked, scowling at his retreating back.

“Pretty much. You get used to it after a few thousand years,” Belphegor shrugged. Evan shook his head and turned his attention to Jia.

“You okay?”

“I guess so.”

“No, you’re not,” Bel answered. “You’re in shock.”

“I am?”

“Do you feel anything about your father dying? Joy, anger, hatred, relief?”

“Not really.” He nodded knowingly.

“That’s shock. You killed someone four days ago and your brain is struggling to process it.”

“But she hated him,” Evander frowned. “And he was evil.”

“The who and why don’t matter. You killed your father four days ago and your mind hasn’t figured out how to handle it yet.” Belphegor patted her shoulder gently before pulling her into a hug. “You might be like this for a while. I was the same when I saw what Satan did to Zach and his family. But eventually the feelings you’re supposed to feel will come and they’ll be heavy.” His arms tightened around her. “But it will get better.”

“I’m not much good at therapy so I’ll leave that up to Belphie here, but I am here if you just need a friend to lean on,” Evan promised. Somehow their words made Jia feel better. The feeling was still muted, a shadow of what she knew it could be, but it was more than just numbness and that was enough.

“Thank you.” She squeezed Bell back gently and smiled at Evander over his shoulder. “Both of you.”

“I overheard you say you weren’t sleeping,” the violet eyed Demon admitted when he let her go. “I have a good tea for that. You should drink some before bed tonight and see if it helps. Take a hot shower and make sure you eat something beforehand, take a book you love and make yourself read it. Take the time to absorb the words on the page and make your brain focus on how the book normally makes you feel.” He smiled softly.

“Did that work for you?” Jia asked.

“It’s not a fix, and I know our situations are very different, but it did force me to focus. Once I forced myself to properly concentrate on my surroundings it was like my ability to process emotions sort of...rebooted. It has to be a book you love though. You need the memory of how it made you feel the first time you read it to help you remember how to feel that way.”

“Will the prince even give you the time to read? He’s all over you most nights,” Evan teased. Normally Jia would’ve blushed, but instead she shrugged.

“Perhaps try sleeping alone for a few nights until it works,” Belphegor suggested. “Or even just be alone until you’ve finished reading a chapter or two. Once you’re done reading there’s nothing stopping you from going back to Lucifer’s room.”

“I’ll try it,” she promised.

“What about talking to Lauviah?” Evan asked suddenly. “Did you manage to scry her?”

“No. I couldn’t make it work.” She knew she should be concerned, but like everything else it was muted, just a whisper in the back of her mind.

“That’s because you’re feeling disconnected. When you process what you’ve been through and start to deal with it, your link to your power will return,” Belphegor reassured her. “Just take everything day by day. Try scrying her again tomorrow, and then once each day until it works.”

“There’s no need for that.” The soft voice came from behind them and Jia turned so quickly she almost stumbled.

Her mother was standing in the common room with a smile on her face, brimming with the vitality and beauty she’d been missing for thousands of years. All at once Jia’s stopped up heart unblocked and her emotions hit her so hard it made her dizzy.

"Mum,” she gasped, lurching across the room and throwing herself into Lauviah’s open arms. The warmth of the embrace, the feeling of being safe and comforted, all of it overwhelmed her until she finally started crying.

“I’m here, sweetheart,” Lauviah whispered, kissing the top of her head. “I’m here now. Lucifer told me what happened after I left with Michael.”

“What are you doing here?” Jia asked through her tears.

“We’ve been keeping an eye on what Satan has been doing and we think we can help, at least with the Vampires.”

“He’s made an army of them, by the looks of it,” Jia sniffled.

“We know,” Archangel Michael answered, and for the first time Jia realised he’d entered the common room with Lauvi. “We can only cross realms to rescue our own kind or if we feel anything threatens the stability of all three realms at once. Satan is planning a second Uprising.”

“How did you observe that from the Angelic Realm?” Belphegor asked curiously. “Angels don’t leave their home.”

“Unless we have permission.”

“You mean God?”

“I do,” Michael replied with a wry smile. “They don’t want another Uprising any more than we do. They granted me permission to observe the events in the human realm and what I saw concerned me. I watched when Jia was able to bolster the wards for Lanthia as well.” Michael turned his golden eyes on her.

“I just wanted to help,” she mumbled, tears still dripping down her cheeks.

“And you did, by doing something none of us have ever seen before. You have access to the power of the ley lines on an extraordinary level, and I think you can help us.” Michael smiled and it was like the sun rising over the horizon. “But we can only help if we have someone to test my theory on.”

“Someone like who?” Evander asked warily.

“You.” The Archangel folded his arms across his chest and cocked his head. “If you’re willing, I think we can reverse the effects of the virus enough to restore at least partial humanity, possibly enough to stop you depending quite so heavily on a blood diet in the human world.”

Jia thought Evan would jump at the opportunity to become human again, so she was shocked when she saw him hesitate. He looked between her and the rest of the group with a frown, obviously struggling with the decision. Eventually his gaze returned to Michael.

“Would I have to return to the human world?”

“If we can confirm you’re human, or at least human enough not to be a danger to others, yes.”

“And would I be able to come back here?”

“Not if our experiment works.” Evander’s eyes rested on Jia for a few heavy seconds before he shook his head. Jia’s mouth dropped open.

“I can’t. Not right now.” It looked like it physically pained him to reject the offer, but he shook his head and took a step away from the Archangel. “Jia never left me, not even when I hurt her. I won’t leave her now. I’d be happy to help once I know she’s safe from Satan but today I have to say no.”

“But Ev, you could go home and be with your family and Hannah,” Jia almost whispered, his decision knocking the wind out of her.

“You’re my family too.” Fresh tears welled up in her eyes and she left her mothers’ side to embrace Evan. He squeezed her tight, lifting her off her feet a little.

“Ah. It seems I’ve missed something,” Lucifer mused as he appeared beside the Angels in a wave of shadows. “Archangel Michael, Seraph Lauviah, it’s wonderful to see you both again. What brings you here unannounced?”

“A few things,” Michael replied. “Can we speak somewhere private?”

“May I ask why you need to see me alone?” Michael hesitated, glancing around at the others before levelling a pointed look at his demonic equal.

“God would like to speak with you.” Lucifer arched an eyebrow.

“Ah. They sent you here?” Michael nodded. “Alright. Follow me. We can talk in the study.” Lucifer started to walk away, and then he stopped and turned back to Jia. “Come with me.”

“Me?” she asked, her head jerking back in shock. Michael looked equally surprised. “I’m not a ruler, I should stay here.”

“Actually, you are. Your blood is both that of a Seraph and a Greater Demon. At the very least, you’re on the same level as my sons,” Michael mused.

“But I’m a halfbreed. Aren’t I impure?”

“I don’t believe you’re impure, personally, but from a purely Angelic perspective you are technically tainted,” Lucifer put in. “However, God isn’t infallible and their views can be somewhat...archaic. I feel both you and they would benefit from a meeting. Is that alright, Michael?” The Archangel considered Lucifers’ request, his golden eyes scrutinising Jia for what felt like forever, until finally he nodded. Out of the corner of her eye, Jia saw Lauviah smile softly.

“For once, I’m inclined to agree with you.”