Never Say Never: An Enemies-to-Lovers Secret Identity New Adult Sports Romance (Western Wildcats Hockey Book 4)

“I’m fine, Dad. Really,” I repeat into the cell, trooping across campus.

My eleven o’clock psychology 101 class just let out for the day. The plan is to stop by the Union and pick up a protein bar for lunch before heading to the library for a few hours. I love studying at the apartment, but the temptation to pick up my guitar and work on my music is too great. I don’t know what’s going on lately, but my creative juices are flowing.

And I love it.

The heavy sigh he huffs out comes across loud and clear over the line. “I still don’t understand why it was necessary for you to take off the way you did, B.”

When a guy walking toward me snags my attention and smiles, I tug the black ball cap I’m wearing a little lower over my eyes, shielding them from view, and glance away.

“You know why I left.” This isn’t the first time we’ve had this conversation. More like the hundredth. It would be nice if my parents could accept that I might not want to return to the life we created.

I’m ready for a change.

Even if they aren’t.

“You’ve been gone for more than six months. Linc is getting fed up with the excuses. He wants you back home now. He’s threatening to pull the plug on the show.” There’s an uncomfortable pause as his voice dips, becoming more hushed. “No one wants that to happen.”

A heavy stone settles at the bottom of my belly as I stare at the massive brick and glass building that looms on the horizon. Sometimes, I think all our lives would be better without the show. It’s become toxic. I feel trapped and stifled by a world of my own making.

But I don’t bother admitting that to my father.

He wouldn’t understand.

And even if he did, he wouldn’t take a stand against my mother.

I love my dad, but he’s content to allow Mom to make all the hard decisions that affect our lives. It’s bizarre that at twenty-two, I don’t have freedom over my own choices and need to wrestle control away from her.

When I think about packing up my life here and returning to LA, my chest constricts and my throat closes, making it impossible to breathe.

I’ve spent the last nine years working fifty hours a week with barely a day off.

At this point, I’m burnt out and tired.

There aren’t many who can say that they have a platform on the world’s stage. Sometimes I feel like a spoiled and ungrateful brat wishing it all away when there are millions of people who would kill for the opportunities I’ve been given.

I’d assumed a few months away from the bright glare of the spotlight would help quiet the restlessness that has been growing inside me. Instead, all it’s done is give me a taste of the freedom I can’t have in LA with my family.

I pull the phone closer to my mouth and drop my voice. “We’ve been doing the show for eight years. Aren’t you tired of it?”

I’ve grown to hate the cameras that follow my every move, documenting every misstep. Every embarrassment. Every ridiculous argument.

The worst part is that after a while, you become so used to them that you forget they’re there. You say and do things you never would if you weren’t so desensitized to the production staff. If it didn’t feel so normal. And when you plead with them to cut out a part, they look at you like you’re the crazy one.

“It’s our life,” he says simply. “The younger kids grew up on the show. It’s all they know. It’ll be easier to launch Cheyenne’s music career with the network backing it.”

There are times when it feels like our lives no longer belong to us.

We’re living them for the show.

Not the other way around.

So much of it is scripted.

I mean…who wants to watch the seven of us sitting around the living room, picking our noses all day?

I snort at that image.

“What’s so funny?”

My good humor melts away, leaving discontent to fill the void. “Nothing.”

“The right thing to do would be to come home and discuss the situation with your mother.”

“I’m more than happy to have a convo with her over the phone, but she refuses.”

“That’s because she wants to see your face. She wants to sit down with you in person like grown adults. Isn’t that what you claim to be?”

Ouch.

“She misses you, B,” he continues, attempting to soften the previous blow.

Unlikely.

What she wants is to manipulate me into falling in line.

And that’s easier to accomplish in person.

Sharon Benson is a formidable woman.

Even the producers are terrified of her.

Let that sink in.

“Plus, there’s Axel to consider. You just took off and left him hanging. He’s concerned about you. I actually feel bad for the guy. He says that you won’t even answer his calls or respond to his texts.”

An avalanche of guilt attempts to bury me alive.

Axel is an entirely different problem.

One I try not to dwell on.

Just as I’m contemplating a response, a brawny arm is thrown around my shoulders and I’m hauled against a hard body before being inundated by a woodsy scent. My eyes collide with bright blue ones as a spark of electricity charges the chilled air that swirls around us.

“B? Are you still there?”

My attention stays locked on Colby. “Yeah, I’m here.” Even though I have zero intention of doing it, I say, “I’ll think about everything we talked about and get back to you later, all right?”

“Sounds good, honey. I love you.”

“Love you, too.” When Colby’s brows shoot up and the laughter brimming in his eyes fades, I blurt, “Dad.”

Ending the call, I slip my phone into the pocket of my black puffy jacket.

“Fancy meeting you here,” he says in greeting.

My visceral reaction to him takes me by surprise.

Maybe after the other night, it shouldn’t.

“Yeah…what are the odds of running into each other on a campus we both attend?” I slant a look his way. “Probably astronomical, right?”

There’s a flash of white teeth in the sunlight. “You’re hilarious.”

“I’m not trying to be,” I mutter, hating the way my heartbeat picks up tempo with his proximity.

He hauls me closer before whispering, “I know. That’s what makes it so damn funny.”

Before I can think of a pithy retort, he changes the subject. “Are you headed to the Union for lunch?”

“Umm…” It’s so tempting to lie, but part of me is exhausted by how often I’m forced to fabricate pieces of my life. As much as I want to dismiss Colby and walk away without a second thought, that’s no longer possible. Somehow, he’s managed to crawl beneath my skin when I wasn’t looking. “Yeah, but only to grab something before heading to the library.”

“How about you eat lunch with me instead?”

Air gets clogged in my chest. “Eat with you? Again?”

“Yup. We’ll just call this date number two.”

“Ahhh—”

“A bunch of the guys will be there. And probably a few of your friends as well.”

I chew my lower lip as he propels us closer to the brick building.

It’s a terrible idea. My life is maxed out in the complication department. The last thing I should do is add Colby to the mix.

He turns his head until his warm breath can ghost across my skin. “What do you say, firecracker? Have lunch with me?”

The huskiness of his voice coupled with the way he squeezes me against him is enough to send a cascade of shivers careening down my spine. Before I can decline the offer, he ushers me through the glass doors and into the warm building. After the bite of the breeze, the heat feels good. My breath catches when he pulls me close enough to feel the hard lines of his muscular body.

“Are you cold?”

“A little.”

“Lucky for you, I have a few ideas on how we could warm up,” he murmurs, wickedness dripping from his gravelly tone.

“No, thanks.” I shove my way out of his arms because it’s the right thing to do. Not necessarily because it’s what I want. In fact, I’ve never been more tempted to snuggle up against someone than I am now.

And that includes the man who asked me to marry him.

“Long time no see, McNichols. Where have you been hiding yourself?”

The interruption seems timely.

Colby grins at the dark-haired guy before they bump fists like only bros can.

“At the hockey arena. You should stop by and catch a game sometime.”

As they continue talking, Colby reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell before tapping the miniature keyboard. It’s tempting to peek at the screen to see who he’s messaging, but I resist the urge.

A few more texts fly back and forth.

If there’s a twinge of jealousy, I stomp it out.

“Nah. But thanks for the offer. I enjoy watching winners. Not sure if you know what those are.”

“Is that so?”

“Yup.”

Colby shifts and his teasing tone disappears. “Hey, congrats on bringing home a national title. It’s pretty fucking amazing what you guys accomplished this season.”

The other guy jerks his head toward a table packed with people. “There’s no doubt about it—I’m gonna miss playing with them next year.”

I can’t help but look in that direction. From their size and musculature, I’m guessing they’re all athletes.

“I know exactly what you mean.” Colby clears his throat and glances at me. “Brayden, this is Britt.”

His eyes fill with speculation as his manner turns joking again. “Please tell me you’re not actually with this loser. If you’re interested in dating a real man, I’ll introduce you to one of the football players. There are still some single ones.”

Colby’s grip tightens as if he’s afraid I might try to make a run for it. “Don’t listen to a damn word this meathead has to say.”

“Nope, we’re just friends,” I tell him.

And maybe myself as well.

It seems like I need the reminder.

“Interesting.” Brayden’s expression turns thoughtful. It would be difficult not to notice how handsome he is. “I wasn’t aware that the baby-faced assassin had any friends of the female persuasion.”

Colby cranes his neck and glances toward the crowded table of football players. “Hey, looks like some guy is hitting on Sydney. You should probably run him off before he steals her from beneath your nose. I mean, it wouldn’t be that difficult to do.”

A snort escapes from Brayden as he glances over his shoulder, only to see that Colby is telling the truth. Some dude is talking with his girlfriend.

Brayden’s brows snap together. “Well, it was nice running into you, McNichols. Good luck with the season.”

After a quick clap on the shoulder, he takes off, cutting a direct path to the blonde before slipping his arm around her waist and hauling her close.

“Yeah, I was pretty sure that would do the trick,” Colby says with a laugh. “The guy is head over heels in love with his girlfriend. Can’t say I saw that one coming. You’ve heard of the Campus Heartthrob competition, right?”

I rack my brain. “Maybe.”

Colby nods toward Brayden. “He’s won the title three years and counting.”

I can’t help but stare as the handsome football player wraps his arms around the athletic-looking blonde and lays one on her in front of everyone. The entire table breaks out into loud applause and catcalls.

“Have you two been friends for a while?”

Even though the interaction had been brief, they had an easy camaraderie that only comes from knowing someone well.

“His father played in the NFL and was repped by the same agent as my dad. So, we’ve known each other since we were kids.”

“They make a cute couple.”

“Sydney plays soccer for Western’s women’s team. She’s probably the only girl on campus who could put that guy in his place.”

Even from here, it’s easy to see that the blonde is feisty.

After that, he steers us toward a table packed with both hockey players and their girlfriends.

Juliette perks up and waves when she catches sight of me. I can’t help but return the welcoming gesture. She’s such a sweetie. Next to her is Ryder McAdams. He’s big and blond with a fan club of groupies that he doesn’t seem to care about.

How could he when the guy can barely take his eyes off his girlfriend?

When we reach the table, Carina pops to her feet before pulling me in for a quick hug. “Are you eating lunch with us?”

I shouldn’t…

“Yup,” Colby cuts in before I can respond. “She decided to sit with the cool kids today.”

“How does that make sense when she’s here with you?”

Colby glares at the blonde dancer. “Hamilton, come get your girlfriend. She’s annoying me.”

“Then she’s doing her job,” Ford calls back.

Carina grins before glancing at me again with raised brows. “You and Colby? Now this is an interesting story I need to hear. And don’t leave out any of the juicy parts.”

The kiss we almost shared nudges its way into my brain before I shove it away.

Heat stings my cheeks when I glance around and realize how much attention we seem to be garnering.

Crap.

I should have listened to my intuition when alarm bells were going off in my head and declined his invitation.

Stella locks her fingers around my wrist and tugs me down beside her. “OMG, tell me the truth—did you sleep with Colby?”

“Of course not,” I gasp. “We ran into each other on the way over. We were together for about five minutes. That’s it.”

Colby squeezes in beside me before saying, “Are you seriously trying to downplay our relationship, firecracker? I picked you up and we went ice skating and then out to dinner last night. Pretty sure most people would consider that a date.”

“You’re not most people,” I snap as more of his friends and teammates turn and stare like we’re an exhibit at the zoo.

Viola’s eyes widen before she gives her head a little shake as if totally thrown off guard. “I’m sorry…did I just hear this correctly? You and Colby are dating?”

“What? Of course not!” I shoot a scowl at Colby, who’s laughing his ass off.

It’s so tempting to elbow him in the ribs.

Hard.

Except we’re packed in so tight there’s barely room to maneuver.

“Oh, girl…I have so many questions,” Fallyn adds with a smile.

I force out a steady breath and attempt to keep my cool.

It’s no easy feat.

Hayes and another teammate, Steele, return with loaded-down trays. There’s an array of items—soups, sandwiches, chips, and a few salads.

Hayes glances at Colby. “You wanted a roast beef and Swiss?”

“Yup.” He holds up his hands as Hayes tosses the wrapped sandwich to him along with a bag of chips. All the other items get passed out until a cup of soup and half a sandwich are placed in front of me.

“Thanks, but I didn’t order anything,” I say to the good-looking center who settles at the far end of the table next to Steele. He’s a junior and Bridger’s cousin. Now that I know they’re related, I can see the family resemblance. They both have mahogany colored hair and dark blue eyes.

Now that I’m hanging out with the girls more, they’ve been explaining who all the guys on the team are. There’s sixty of them, and it’s not easy to keep everyone straight. Especially the ones who don’t get ice time.

Steele nods toward Colby. “He ordered it for you.”

With a frown, I glance at him. We’re close enough for me to feel the warmth of his breath ghosting across my lips. It’s a little dizzying.

It shouldn’t be.

In fact, he shouldn’t affect me at all.

“When did you do this?”

“While we were talking with Brayden. I saw them in line and shot Hayes a text.”

“The plan was to grab a protein bar and run,” I mumble while staring at the soup and sandwich. It’s almost a surprise how touched I am by the gesture. But instead of softening everything inside me, it reinforces how imperative it is to keep my distance.

Not only physically, but emotionally as well.

This guy will steadily chip away at my defenses if I let him.

“It’s chicken and wild rice.” Unaware of the thoughts circling around in my head, he nudges my shoulder with his broader one. “It’ll help warm you up since you seemed so opposed to my previous suggestion.”

I huff out a chuckle as some of my growing tension dissolves.

“It’s a good mix of carbs and protein,” he adds when I don’t make a move toward my lunch. “Exactly what you need to power through the rest of your day.”

“Thank you.”

“Not a problem. Now eat up before your soup gets cold. Otherwise, I’ll be forced to warm you up myself.”

“I don’t want that,” I blurt before I can stop myself.

“I didn’t think so.” His eyes spark with challenge. “At least, not yet.”

He rips off the wrapper of his sandwich and digs in. Just like last night, he attacks his food with gusto as if he hasn’t been fed in days. I glance around the table and realize his teammates are doing the same.

It must be an athlete thing.

Or maybe a hockey thing.

It’s certainly not a guy thing. The ones I know in LA are just as health conscious as the women.

As I lift the plastic cover, steam rises from the bowl and the scent of wild rice and chicken hits me, making my mouth water.

“Looks good,” he says, eyeing the container between bites.

“Actually, it does.” Even though I’ve been on campus since August, I rarely stop and sit down to eat with friends. I’ll grab a bar or a piece of fruit. Maybe a sandwich to chow down on the run if I’m really hungry.

I dip the utensil into the bowl before lifting it to my lips and blowing on it for a second or two. The first spoonful proves to be just as delicious as its aroma suggests. After a few bites, I realize that it’s doing exactly what Colby said and warming me up from the inside out.

I glance around the table and reluctantly admit that this is nice. The camaraderie and friendships. The easy banter back and forth.

It’s exactly what I spent years secretly longing for.

Midway through my meal, Stella poses a question to the table. “Does anyone watch All Day Long with Bebe?”

Those eight little words are enough to kill my appetite. I freeze, spoon poised midway to my mouth.

She glances at Juliette, Carina, and Viola before her gaze fastens onto mine. I give my head a little shake as my fingers tremble. It’s carefully that I place my utensil back in the bowl before any soup can spill onto the table. The last thing I want to do is draw any further attention to myself.

“You’re such an addict when it comes to reality TV,” Fallyn says with a laugh.

“Isn’t that the show about the singer who went viral when she was a teenager?” Juliette asks.

I swipe my damp palms against the sides of my jeans as the conversation swirls around me, picking up steam. I had no idea any of them watched the show.

No one’s ever mentioned it before.

Maverick groans. “Please tell me that you’re joking. Reality TV is such garbage.”

Stella sticks out her tongue. “Don’t judge. It’s a guilty pleasure. Like cotton candy for the brain.”

“If you say so,” he mutters, clearly not understanding the attraction.

When I started hanging around with the girls, Stella explained that she, Juliette, and Maverick were related. Their father, Brody McKinnon, is her older half-brother, which technically makes her their aunt.

But they’re more like cousins and super close.

Riggs presses a kiss against Stella’s cheek. “You’re adorable. I’d never judge you.”

Hayes makes a few gagging noises before coughing out the word, “Simp.”

Unoffended, Riggs fires back, “I’ve finally got to this place with the girl I’ve always wanted, just let me enjoy it.”

“I’ve watched it a few times. The last season left off on a major cliffy,” Fallyn chimes in while eating her chicken sandwich.

“I’m dying to know if she said yes to Axel’s proposal. I’ve scoured the internet and haven’t been able to find anything about it. In fact, it seems like Bebe dropped off the face of the earth.”

A lump forms in my throat, making it impossible to swallow.

“I heard that she’s in rehab or resting, or something like that,” Carina adds.

Ford raises his brows. “Wait a minute…you watch the show, too?”

With a smile, she shrugs. “You don’t know everything about me.”

“Bet?” The heat that ignites in his eyes gives him more of a predatory look. “Pretty sure I know you inside and out.”

She knocks her shoulder into his. “Shut up.”

“I really hope she tells him to take a hike.” Stella scrunches her nose as she pops a fry into her mouth. “I don’t like the guy at all. He seems like a douche.”

Surprised by her comment and the distaste woven through it, the question shoots out before I can stop it. “You really think so?”

She nods as if they’re personally acquainted. “Definitely. He’s so arrogant.”

A smirk settles on Maverick’s lips as he jerks his head toward Colby. “So is that guy, but I wouldn’t call him a douche.” There’s a pause. “Most of the time.”

“You’re hilarious, McKinnon,” Colby responds good-naturedly. “Watch yourself on the ice. You never know when you’re going to get knocked on your ass.”

Maverick flashes a dazzling smile. “I’ll dust you every time, old man.”

Colby snorts before snagging a fry from Bridger’s plate and tossing it at the younger player.

“Hey, I was going to eat that,” Bridger complains. “Grab someone else’s food.”

“Anyway…” Stella glares at the guys who interrupted our conversation. “I think she can do way better. Axel seems more concerned with how he looks and the labels he’s wearing than with her.”

The comment hits me like a punch to the gut. I’ve secretly thought the same thing before but when I mentioned my suspicions to Mom, she waved them away. She’d tell me that people loved us together and that I shouldn’t mess with a good thing.

“When does the next season of the show start?” Viola asks. “I’ll have to check it out.”

“We should have a girls’ night in and binge the last season,” Juliette says. “It would be kind of nice to chill out. We can order pizza and make spicy margaritas.”

“Ohhh, that sounds good,” Carina says, warming to the idea. “I’m definitely down for that.”

I can’t imagine what it would be like to watch the show with them. Even though I’ve altered my appearance, I’d be sitting on pins and needles the entire time.

It’s a nightmare scenario.

“What about you, Britt?” Stella asks with a tilt of her head. “Are you in?”

I shift, wishing there was a way to skirt the issue. The last thing I want to do is push them away or make them think I’m not interested in getting to know them on a deeper level. “Oh. Um…I’ll have to check my schedule and get back to you.”

Colby turns and stares at me. I can practically feel the heat of his gaze singeing my flesh.

“No time to hang with the girls?”

“I’m not saying that. I just need to check and see what’s going on.” I force a tight smile.

It’s a relief when Wolf clears his throat, and everyone turns their attention to the tatted-up goalie. “Fallyn and I were thinking of flying to Vegas for the weekend.” The expression on his face belies the casualness of the comment.

“Why?” Hayes says with a laugh. “Have you two decided to get hitched by Elvis?”

The couple glances at each other before exchanging secret smiles.

Silence crashes over the table as Bridger exclaims, “Holy shit, you’re getting married?”

“No fucking way!” Steele says.

“Fallyn?” Carina gasps, looking wide-eyed. “Is that what’s going on? Are you two eloping?”

A grin spreads across Fallyn’s face, making it look like she’s glowing from the inside out as Wolf tugs her close, wrapping her up in his brawny arms.

“That’s the plan.”

A dozen voices erupt around us. Questions and comments are fired off furiously.

Wolf’s gaze stays locked on Fallyn. “I’ve been waiting for this girl to get with the program for years. Now that she has, I’m unwilling to wait another minute before making her my wife.”

Viola is the first to jump up and throw her arms around her cousin. Carina, Juliette, and Stella all follow suit, congratulating the couple.

I can’t help but watch Wolf as he stares at his wife-to-be. I’ve never seen any man look at his girlfriend the way he does. Although, the other guys aren’t far behind. But there’s something about Wolf…

He’s totally obsessed with Fallyn.

I don’t think there’s anything he wouldn’t do for her.

That kind of all-consuming love makes my heart happy. It only confirms that walking away from Axel was the right decision. I can’t imagine him watching me with that kind of love brimming in his eyes.

Because, at the end of the day, that’s what I want.

Someone who’d be willing to move heaven and earth for me.

Someone who can’t imagine their life without me by their side.

And I want the same.

Once the girls are done congratulating Fallyn, I pop to my feet. I’m thrilled for her.

All right…maybe I’m a little jealous.

But only in the best way.

“Congrats, girl! I can’t wait to hear all the details. Make sure you post lots of pics of the big day.”

“Well…that’s the thing,” she says. “We were kind of hoping everyone would come with us. It’s winter break and there isn’t a hockey game this weekend, so it’s the perfect time to do it. Then we can all celebrate together.”

Excitement bursts from around the table as everyone agrees to check out flights and hotels.

Stella’s gaze fastens onto mine. “You’ll come with us, right?”

I squirm as everyone turns my way. “Oh, I’d just thought it was for⁠—”

Fallyn shakes her head. “No, we want all our friends there, and that’s exactly what you’ve become, Britt. It would mean a lot to me if you came with us to help celebrate.”

Colby nudges my shoulder. “Yeah, you gotta come. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

I chew my lower lip as indecision spirals through me.

Of course I’d love to see Fallyn and Wolf tie the knot. Their story is like a fairytale. Or maybe more like Romeo and Juliet. Except with a happy ending.

I’m just not sure it’s a good idea to get so wrapped up in their lives when I’m not being honest about my own. When it comes down to it, I’m lying to them about who I really am.

Colby slants a look my way. “So, what’s it going to be, firecracker? You coming to Vegas or not?”