Never Have I Ever – A College Romance Book (Campus Games 1)

Rosalie

My head drops, looking down at the ground. We’ve been dancing for what seems like forever. Technically it’s only been three songs, but it’s three songs too many. Andrew seems great, but I’m just not ready. Maybe I’ll take his number, but I don’t know when I’ll ever be ready.

I didn’t think I’d feel this defeated after things ended with Grayson. I didn’t think I’d fall for him and be heartbroken all in the span of twenty-four hours. How long do heartbreaks last anyway? Is there a timeframe when it starts feeling easier to imagine your life without them?

“You’re so hot,” Andrew whispers in my ear, and I’m glad he can’t see my face right now because the disgust on my face would put him off. For some reason, when Grayson complimented me, it made my face light up, it gave me butterflies and made me smile, but when Andrew does it, it sounds… wrong.

“Uh, thanks,” I say.

“Do you want to come back to my place later?”

My throat bobs as I struggle to find the words to tell him no. I don’t want to go anywhere but to bed tonight. I have a date with two giant tubs of ice cream and Bridget jones.

“Um…” I mumble and pull back to look at him. Maybe dancing with the guy for over five minutes made him think this was leading somewhere I definitely didn’t want it to go.

“I don’t think so,” someone behind me says, and the next thing I know, I’m being dragged away.

“What the hell?” Andrew mutters from behind me.

I spin my head, seeing Grayson grabbing my hand as we walk out of the bar. Grayson?

He pushes the door open as we head outside, the cold night air hitting my skin. He spins me around and presses me back against the brick. He stares down at me, tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip. “What was that in there?” he asks.

“Grayson?” I whisper, looking up at his dark eyes. Am I imagining this? I thought he’d never want to speak to me again after what happened.

He closes his eyes and tips his head back, a small smile forming on his lips. “Christ, I’ve missed that,” he mumbles.

“What’s happening right now?” I ask him.

“Were you trying to make me jealous, angel?” he asks, his fingers meeting mine. I shiver under his touch. Angel. He called me angel again.

I almost smile, almost throw my arms around him and pull him into me, but I have no idea what he’s doing. I don’t know why he pulled me outside, why he’s calling me angel, or why he’s asking if I was trying to make him jealous. I would never do that to him. I didn’t think he’d care. After all, he was the one who ended it.

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “We’re not together anymore. Actually, we were never together, right? So, there’s no reason for you to feel jealous.”

He frowns. “Don’t say that.”

I shake my head. “I would never do that to you. I don’t want you to hurt like I’m hurting.”

I look up at him, and his eyes trace my face, his throat bobbing as he swallows. His hand cradles my face, and he tilts his head down. He leans in, and his lips meet mine, fast and hard like he’s punishing me for something, but I take it. I open my mouth and let his tongue inside, tasting him for the first time in over a week. Oh god, I’ve missed him so much.

But I still have no idea what the hell is going on. I pull back on a hum. “What are you doing?” I ask.

He smiles with that sweet smile, and his thumb runs over my lip. “Taking back what’s mine,” he murmurs, meeting my eyes.

I suck in a breath, my heart thumping inside my chest. “What do you mean by that?” I ask him.

“It means I’m an asshole,” he says, his brows furrowing. “It means I’m an idiot for not realizing it sooner.” He leans down until our breaths mix, and his lips almost touch mine. “It means I love you.”

I stop breathing. All the air is stuck in my chest as I process the words that just came out of his mouth. He loves me?

“But… you don’t believe in love,” I somehow manage to say.

“I didn’t,” he reaffirms, shaking his head. “Until you.”

The way he’s looking at me is so intense. His dark eyes burn into mine, and I can’t look away. “What?” I say, shaking my head, a little dizzy.

He swallows. “I love you, Rosie. I love you so much, I just didn’t fucking know it.” He laughs bitterly, shaking his head. “I don’t know what I thought love was, but fuck, I love you. Of course, I love you. I can’t stop thinking it, saying it. I want to say it all the time. I almost did a few times,” he admits.

“I honestly thought I was just caught up in the moment, but my mind knew it before I did. Everything I feel for you screams love,” he says, running his thumb over my cheek. “I want to be with you every day, all the time. It feels like I can’t breathe when I’m not with you,” he says, shaking his head. “Seeing you in there, with some other guy’s hands on you, made me realize that I couldn’t let you go. I knew if I didn’t accept my feelings and tell you, I would lose you forever, and I won’t let that happen. I couldn’t live with myself knowing I let the best thing that’s ever happened to me out of reach.”

I can’t contain it. I smile so wide at the man I love, who loves me back. My heart thumps so loud I’m sure he can hear it. “Grayson.” I breathe out.

He groans. “Fuck, you have no idea what you do to me. I want you. Today, tomorrow, and the next. I want you forever. If you’ll have me, I want to be yours. Completely yours, and I want you to be mine.”

I nod, I don’t stop nodding, and he laughs, but he doesn’t stop there. “I want to wake up with you, go to sleep with you, go on adventures with you. I want to buy you flowers every single day.”

I laugh. “That seems a little excessive—”

“I’ll do anything for you, angel. Everything. I will be the best for you. I will do everything in my power to make you happy. Whatever it takes, I will do it.”

“You mean that?”

“I mean every fucking word,” he says, taking my hand and placing it over his chest. “You are the only girl that makes my heart beat this fast. The only girl I dream of kissing. The only person I trust undoubtedly with everything.”

“I trust you too.” I breathe out. His heart beats under my touch, and I gasp.

The corner of his mouth lifts. “I told you. It’s only you that does that to me. You’ve fucking ruined me, Rosie.”

I look down at where his hand is covering mine, pressed against his chest. I miss him so much. I miss having his hands on me, touching him, kissing him, and he’s here telling me he loves me. I don’t know what to make of it.

“You hurt me,” I whisper.

“I know,” he says, frowning. “I will apologize for pushing you away every single day of my life. As long as you’ll have me, I’ll never make you regret being with me. I love you, Rosie. I love you. I love you,” he repeats, making me laugh, tears filling my eyes. “If you don’t want to be with me… fuck, I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll know that it’s your decision, that it’s what you want. I need you in my life, but if you don’t feel the same way then…” He trails off, looking to the side, his jaw clenches as he closes his eyes and breathes out, running a hand through his hair.

My eyes fall down and catch on his arm. I freeze. My whole body stops moving, I stop breathing. “Grayson,” I whisper. He looks down, seeing what I’m seeing, and places my hand on his arm, allowing my fingers to explore the tattoo. “Angel wings?” I ask.

He nods. “You were inside my head, Rosie. Every day, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get you out. You were already a part of me, and I never wanted to forget you, so I needed you on my body too.”

He drops his head, his eyes darkening as his hand clutches my face. “You made me believe in love, Rosie. I was in denial, I didn’t want to believe it. I just… love hasn’t worked out well for me before. My parents, my uncle,” he says squeezing his eyes shut.

He blows out a breath and opens his eyes. “I’m so scared to lose you. To me, you are the definition of love and I’m so sorry, angel. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure my shit out and realize how crazy in love I am with you.”

I look up at him and swallow. His dark eyes burn into mine, his hair falls over his face. I reach up and brush his hair out of his face and stand on my toes. “I love you, Grayson.”

He smiles, his dark hair falling back onto his face as he bends down to pick me up. He grabs my thighs, and I tighten my legs around his waist as he holds me up. “Fuck, I love you too.”

Our lips meet, and I smile into the kiss, which he returns as he laughs into my mouth. We’re smiling together as we kiss, and it’s perfect. He’s perfect, and he loves me. I tighten my hold around his neck as he presses me into the wall.

I hum into his mouth when I feel wetness on my forehead, along with another and another. We break apart as we look up, rain falling on us, heavier now.

He grins. “Looks like you got your kiss in the rain.”

I can’t help but smile. “Just fucking kiss me.”

“Such hostile words from an angel,” he repeats his words from our first time. “But I’ll happily oblige,” he says before our lips meet again, and the warm feel of his lips and tongue contrasts the cold rain falling on my shoulders, drenching us.

I’ve never felt happier in my life.