Nanobots, Murder, and Other Family Problems

I scan the doors of the side hallway off the foyer, looking for the salon. Wooden doors marked Massage, Orthodontics, Modiste, and Counseling go by before I find the door with SALON lettered in bold black type. I push it open and a little bell dingles, just like at the barbershop I used to go to back in Denver. I think the familiarity makes it worse. I hate this place so much.

No! I can’t think like that. I don’t hate this place. I love it. Just like I love Father. He’s great. I’ve only got three more weeks to internalize that. From what I’ve gathered from my sibs, when I come out of surgery, it’s just going to be me, him, and fading anesthetic. I’m not going to have much of a filter on what I might say. I need to train myself with happy thoughts, happy words, drill them right into my subconscious. And especially don’t think of that one person who definitely didn’t die under suspicious circumstances. I think that will work, anyway. Someone on the internet said it would. That’s foolproof, right?

“Noah?” the woman with chestnut-brown hair asks as I come in. She’s cute, curvacious, and maybe twenty.

“That’s me, here for my appointment. You’re Allison?”

“I certainly am,” she says with a stunning smile. “I think it’s just wonderful that you’re here. It’s so rare we get a new client in that’s old enough to tell us how they want their hair done. What are we doing for you today?”

She gestures to one of the three barber chairs and I take a seat. “Just a trim, I guess,” I say as she wraps me in a cape to keep the hair off of my clothes. “I like my old cut, but it’s getting long enough that it’s messing with a headset that I have to wear.”

“Ah, yes,” Allison says. “I’ve taken care of your brothers and sisters that had to wear that thing. It did quite a number on the girls’ hair. And Evan’s, though Leticia usually took care of him.”

“Yeah, I can imagine his curls didn’t love being compressed.”

“Right. So for you, we’re doing the same as you have, but cleaned up?”

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

She leans my chair back into a sink and I spend a few minutes of bliss getting my scalp massaged as she washes my hair. At some point in there the bell on the door rings again, and I hear muffled voices drowned in the sound of flowing water. When Allison lifts the chair back up, Jeff is in the seat next to me. His hair looks like he took clippers to himself without a mirror.

“Hey, Jeff,” I say. I desperately want to ask what he did to his hair, but I’m not sure how he’d take it. With as little as he talks, I still feel like I barely know him.

“Noah,” he says.

We sit quietly for a minute as Allison goes to work with her scissors. From the glimpses I get when the chair spins to face me toward the mirror, she’s doing a good job.

“I imagine you’re wondering what happened,” Jeff finally says, breaking the silence.

“I can’t deny I’m curious.”

“I had an unfortunate miscalculation in my programming,” he says. His voice is almost monotone. “I was attempting to enable my cloud to take on additional responsibilities with regard to my personal maintenance.”

“You tried to give yourself a haircut with your nanobots and you had a bug in the code?”

“Yes. I would appreciate it if you would not mention it to the others. I have something of a reputation to maintain.”

“My lips are sealed.”

I’m not even sure who I would tell. Evan and the girls, I guess. But if Jeff wants me to keep it secret, I don’t see a downside to doing him a solid.

“Your discretion is applauded, brother.” He settles back into silent waiting. I think that’s more words than I’ve ever heard from him in one sitting.

“Noah, I was going to offer you a mani and pedi along with your cut,” Allison’s cheerful voice chimes in, “but as you can see we have a little bit of an emergency. If you want to come back later for some nail care…”

I’ve never had either of those things, and I’m not entirely sure what all they involve. “Not a problem,” I assure her, “and I’m fine trimming my own nails.”

“If you say so. Now, let’s give you the full look.” She turns me to the wall mirror and holds a smaller one behind me so I can see the front and back of my new haircut.

“Looks great, Allison. Thanks.”

She peels off the cape and I get up. “Do I tip you or something? I’m afraid I don’t have any cash, but maybe I can put in a request on the purchasing system?”

She laughs. “Honey, I make more here in a month than I would anywhere else in a year with the best tips in the world.”

This place is so weird. Wait. No. Happy thoughts.

They definitely have everything I could ever need here. Life on the campus of the Butler Institute is so great and amazing. I can’t wait to get back to my room so I can put on my headset and keep training hard so I can help Father save the world.