Nanny for the Neighbors: A Surprise Baby Reverse Harem Romance

Before anything else, Beth calls the porter and demands to see the building’s CCTV footage from this morning. The cameras clearly show Anisha hurrying down the street, leaving the car seat on the front steps, and rushing away again. She doesn’t kiss Cami. She doesn’t cry. She doesn’t look sad at all to be abandoning her own baby.

Watching the video makes me want to puke. Luckily, it’s enough to convince Beth we’re not child-stealers. We all go back upstairs, and she spends the rest of the afternoon giving us an intensive crash course on baby care.

It’s a disaster. We are utterly useless. None of us even know how to hold a baby, let alone change a nappy or make up a bottle. Luckily, we have a very sweet, encouraging teacher. No matter how dumb we are, or how many stupid questions we ask, Beth never loses patience or gets irritated.

As the hours pass, we slowly start to get the hang of it. Beth shows us how to make bottles, draw baths, change diapers, and soothe Cami to sleep. She drills us on feeding and sleeping schedules, infant first aid, and bedtime rituals. It’s an unbelievable amount of information. When Cyrus finally succeeds in settling Cami down for her afternoon nap, we all slump around the coffee table, exhausted.

How the hell do parents do this all the time? We’ve only been looking after the kid for a few hours, and all three of us are ready to drop. I look around at the other guys. Cyrus is scrubbing his eyes, groaning, and Seb has his head in his hands.

Of course, Beth is as perky as ever. I watch as she curls up on our sofa, her bare feet tucked under her, writing down a list of baby essentials for us to buy.

I still can’t believe she’s actually in our flat. Today has been the most hectic day of my life. I think I’ve felt every emotion under the sun since I first laid eyes on the tiny child scrunched in a car carrier on the porter’s desk. And now, to top everything else off, Bethany Ellis is on my sofa, drinking coffee out of one of my mugs and scribbling in one of my notebooks. It’s hard to process.

If I’m honest, I’ve been kind of infatuated with Beth ever since I first met her. I remember it so clearly; she was in the reception, trying to carry her luggage into the lift and failing miserably. She was wearing a white dress with little red hearts all over it. Her hair was windswept, and her cheeks were flushed by the sun. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.

Since then, I’ve picked up all sorts of information about her. I know she shops at the local Lidl. I know she’s terrible at taking her washing out of the communal driers. I know that she gets more bills pushed into her mailbox than all three of us put together.

It’s not that I’ve been watching her. I’m just… aware of her. Hell, it’s hard not to be. Every time I pass her in the lobby or the lift, or see her chatting with the porter, it’s like my whole body just electrifies.

It’s ridiculous. I’m twenty-nine, for fuck’s sake. I’m too old to have such a strong, all-consuming crush. Especially since I’m pretty sure that she has a boyfriend. I’ve seen a tall, good-looking black guy buzz into her flat hundreds of times in the last couple of years.

Still, I can’t stop the flutter of nerves in my stomach as I watch her frown at her handwritten list, gnawing on her bottom lip. The evening sun is slanting in through the windows, stroking down her soft face and lighting her red curls up like fire. She’s completely stunning.

I jerk out of my daydream when Cami suddenly shouts in her cot, bursting into tears.

Beth claps her hands together, standing. “Perfect! Nappy time!” She beams at me. “Your turn, Jack.”

Even hearing her say my name in her sweet, soft voice sends a rush through me. I try to ignore it, crossing over to the carrier and picking Cami up awkwardly. Her babygrow is wet and stained.

Beth hums. “Looks like she’s leaked a bit. These nappies are too big. You’re lucky you haven’t had any accidents.”

“We have,” Cyrus says, looking so haunted that I can’t stop myself from laughing. “There used to be a cream rug where you’re standing.”

“Well, that was a bit thick,” she mutters under her breath, patting the towel she’s laid out on a side table. “C’mon, Jack. Show me what you’ve got.”

I carefully lay Cami down, and Beth patiently talks me through the process of cleaning and changing her.

“That’s good,” she says, as I lift both tabs, remove the nappy, and tentatively start to wipe Cami clean. Cami pouts at the ceiling. “You don’t have to be so gentle. You’re not going to hurt her. Drop the wipe in here.” She offers me a plastic bag. “Then grab a new nappy. Pick her up and slide it under her… perfect. Just fix the tabs…. And you’re done! Now we just need to wash up.” She glances over her shoulder. Sebastian is hanging around behind us, watching intently. “Do you want to give it a go while she’s on the mat? I think Jack and Cy have got the hang of it.”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Seb says, taking a step back.

Her eyebrow quirks. “What if she’s yours? You’ll need to know how to change her.”

He shakes his head firmly. “She’s either Cyrus’s or Jack’s. Not mine.”

I roll my eyes, going to wash my hands.

“Oh.” She strokes Cami’s hair. “Were you not involved in the group sex?”

He reaches up and tugs at his tie. “I was involved.”

“Very enthusiastically, if I recall,” Cyrus drawls.

Beth frowns. “Well, then—”

“She’s not mine,” Seb says crisply. “I used protection.”

“We all did,” I point out, drying my hands. “We’re not fifteen.”

“Well, maybe you forgot,” Sebastian counters. “I never forget.”

“Neither do I,” Cy mutters.

Beth looks between us, then back down at Cami. “She does kind of look like you, though,” she tells Cyrus. A spike of irrational jealousy stabs through me. “She’s got your colouring, at least.” She strokes down Cami’s light brown cheek, then tugs a shiny black curl.

Cy shrugs. “I’m half Bengali, and her mother was full. I’m not sure how different a half-brown kid would look from a three-quarters one.”

“Yeah.” She chucks Cami’s cheek. “You’re a little mystery, huh? You’ve got everyone confused.”

Cami gabbles back up at her, wriggling sleepily in her clean nappy. Beth tickles her feet, then checks her phone. “I’ve got a call in a couple of minutes. Will you guys be fine taking over?”

I nod. “Think we’ve got it. Thank you so much.”

She smiles at me, her brown eyes shining. “It’s my pleasure. I haven’t played with a baby in ages.” She crosses to the door, grabbing her keys. “If it’s okay, I’ll come back up in the morning to see how she’s doing. I can help you pick out a cot as well, if you like. You have to get rid of that car seat.”

I carefully pick Cami up, joining her by the door. “Thank you, Beth. Really.” I glance over my shoulder at Cy and Seb. They’re both locked in a quiet, intense-looking argument. I don’t think they can hear me, but I lower my voice, anyway. “Look, can I ask you a question?”

She straightens from tying her shoes. “Of course!”

“Why are you doing this? Why didn’t you just turn us in?”

Beth hesitates, fiddling with her keyring. Her eyes are hazy as she stares out of the window. “If she gets put into care, it might be difficult for you to get her back,” she says eventually. “Not right away, at least. I don’t want to put her through that if we can avoid it.”

A chill wriggles down my back. I instinctively hold Cami closer. “What? Why? We’ll have the DNA results tomorrow. How can they take her away after that?”

“It’s not that simple.” She waves around the room. “You guys aren’t prepared for a baby. You don’t have anything she needs. Like, at all. If she were taken into care, you would probably have to prove that you’re capable of looking after her; and right now, you’re not.”

I stare at her, horrified, and she gives me an encouraging smile, reaching out to touch my arm. “It’s gonna be okay, Jack. That won’t happen.” She bends to kiss Cami’s cheek. “Bye bye, jellybean. Have a good evening. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you soon.”

Cami reaches out and tugs at her hair. Beth’s eyes flick back up to mine, and something tightens in my stomach. “Bye,” she says shyly, then turns and disappears, slipping out of the flat in a waft of apple-scented shampoo.

The door claps shut behind her. For a moment, no one says anything. Cami gurgles sadly, shivering in my arms.

Cyrus is the first to speak, turning to me with narrowed eyes. “Did you know our neighbor was so fit?”