My Name is Not Cupcake

The next morning felt surreal. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, but it didn't feel like a good day. All the events from the last 24 hours came rushing back to me, leaving me feeling like a ton of bricks. Soon after I woke up, my door opened.

"Nova," Nolan said unsurely. I still hadn't forgiven him for what he said to me yesterday. He came closer when he realized I wasn't talking to him. I sighed and sat up when I realized that he wasn't going away. He sat on the edge of my bed and just looked at me for a moment.

"Hey, come on. I hate fighting with you," he said. I rolled my eyes.

"I think the words you're looking for are 'I'm sorry'," I said with an attitude. I was still mad at him for lying to me our whole lives. I remembered when we turned 13 years old. At the time, I didn't think anything of it, but now finding that he was a werewolf, it made sense.

"Nolan, open the door!" I yelled as I knocked on the door to our room. We were playing a game when he suddenly ran up to the room and locked the door. He was yelling and screaming and I was scared but I had no idea what was going on.

"Mommy!" I yelled down the hallway. My mom ran down the hallway with Dad on her heels. I banged on the door again.

"Novalyn, what happened?" my mom asked.

"I don't know. We were downstairs and he just ran up here and started screaming," I explained in a rush. My mom pulled a key out of her pocket and began to unlock the door. Almost as an afterthought, she turned to Dad.

"Get Nova out of the house, Jasper. I'll call you when you can bring her back," she said. My dad only nodded and ushered me out of the house against my struggling. He practically threw me in the car and sped out of the driveway. I could still hear Nolan's screaming as I watched the house until it disappeared. I turned and sighed as my dad drove.

"Dad, is Nolan going to be okay?" I asked him. He kept quiet for a moment.

"You'll see him later. He's fine... he's fine," my dad said, assuring himself in the process. I wasn't going to let it go.

"I didn't see him get hurt. Is he sick? Why did Mom want me to go away?" I rambled.

"Novalyn! Enough, okay? Be patient and relax. Now, do you want ice cream or frozen yogurt?" he asked.

I ended up staying at my friend Cheyenne's house for two days before I went back home. When I went back home, Nolan was fine. Actually, he seemed better than just fine. He was taller, stronger, and faster. I never questioned it further then because I was just glad that he was alive after the way he was screaming that day.

I chalked it up to good medicine, but now I knew that it was so much more than that. He shifted that weekend, and I didn't realize it until now.

"You lied to me all these years. You can't be mad if I don't know anything. You never told me to begin with," I said. I lowered my head and fiddled with my hands. "Mom didn't either," I muttered. Nolan sighed and held my hand in his.

"Nova, I already regret it, okay? I hated lying to you but it was only to protect you. If there were another option, I would have taken it. I even thought about accidentally shifting in front of you but Mom made sure I kept the secret. We were trying to protect you from things like this happening. We couldn’t have known you would end up another alpha’s mate," he tried to explain. Mason came inside my room and sat on the other side of me.

"What's your excuse?" I asked Mason. He took my other hand and kissed it gently.

"I didn't want you to get caught in the crossfire," he said. I leaned my head on Mason's shoulder. These were my boys and I was glad that they were with me. I missed them like crazy when I was away, but now, I was in physical pain from missing Elias. There was an ache in my chest that wouldn’t go away.

~

It was a full week before I heard from Elias again. He called Mason who handed the phone to me. We were strained over the phone. There was tension. He wanted to see me. And I wanted to see him too, but both of our unspoken worries lingered during our conversation. I showered and got ready before Nolan drove me to meet Elias. We agreed on meeting at a little coffee shop on Still Water territory. When we got there, Elias was already standing outside waiting for me. When I got out of the car, Elias pulled me into a bear hug. Nolan got out and growled at him.

"Nolan, it's okay. You can wait in the car," I said. Nolan quieted with a glare and got back in the car. Hesitantly, I hugged Elias back with a sigh. I must have missed him more than I realized. It felt like a weight had been lifted from me as Elias embraced me.

“It has been torture without you, cupcake," he said honestly. Pulling away, I could see that he was being serious. He looked miserable. His eyes held bags under them and his eyes were puffy and red.

"Elias," I sighed as I shook my head and stepped closer to him. He took my hand and led me inside. He pulled out a chair for me and we sat in the corner of the coffee shop next to the window. He sat across from me and just looked at me with a sense of pain and longing.

"How are you?" he asked a bit eagerly. A woman sat cups of water down in front of us. I took a sip before I clasped my hands in my lap.

"I'm fine, but I should be asking you that. Your dad was kind of hard on you with the punishment," I said. He only shrugged.

"It doesn't even compare to the pain of being away from you for this long. I want to see you. I want to see our child grow over time. I don't care if you yell at me every day, just please come home with me. I was wrong and I'm sorry for everything. I just wanted you, please," he asked, holding my hand tightly in his. I was so tempted to just go with him and forget everything, but I couldn't forget... and I couldn't be sure that he wouldn't hurt me again.

"Elias, I love you, but I can't stay with you... at least not yet. I'm still not confident that you can just... exist with me. I trust you, but it's forced from the mate bond. I want to trust you because I trust you. Not because some supernatural turn of fate told me to," I ranted softly. He looked happy and shocked.

"Y-You love me?" he said excitedly. I gave a chuckle and sighed as I shook my head at him.

"That's all you heard, isn't it?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No, I heard everything; I was just... more elated to hear that," he said. "I love you... so much, little cupcake. You have no idea how much it means to hear you say that," he said, squeezing my hand gently. A ghost of a smile graced my lips before I sighed and took my hands out of his.

"But I can't go with you to Rigor Moon just yet," I said, looking at the table. He was about to argue but I held up a hand to stop him. "I don't want this baby, Eli. I'm only 20 years old. I'm still young. I can't even drink yet, and I wanted to see the world before I settled down. I can't do that anymore. You literally ripped me away from my life and my future and not once did you even stop to ask what I wanted or how I felt," I said. He looked disappointed in himself.

"I'm so sorry, Nova. I just wanted to be with you," he apologized. I nodded and fiddled with the cup in front of me.

"I know that... and I care for you, but I need time," I said confidently. Elias hesitantly nodded.

"Okay," he practically whispered. "Take all the time you need," he forced out. I stood and Elias followed close behind me as we walked back to the car. He hugged me gently and kissed my head before he pulled away and placed his hands on my stomach.

"Take care of our baby, please," he asked. I nodded. I placed my hands over his as I looked at my flat stomach too.

"I will," I promised. I pushed up on my toes and kissed his cheek before I got in the car.

"I'll call you," he promised before he closed my door for me. As a afterthought, he ducked his head so he was eye level with me. He hesitated. "Wear your seatbelt," he said with a sigh before he left. Nolan drove us back to the cabin in silence. When the car was parked in front of the cabin, Nolan turned to me.

"Are you okay?" Nolan asked. I nodded.

"I'm fine. I mean, I know that I miss him, but I also know that it's the mate bond, not me," I shrugged.

"If you love him, why are you fighting him?" Nolan asked. He sighed and pulled on his hair slightly before he continued. "Look, I don't like the guy because of what he did to you and what he let happen, but he is your mate... and he's trying at least,” Nolan tried to explain. I sighed and unbuckled my seatbelt. I didn't feel like being lectured right now.

"Yeah, well he's going to have to try harder," I said as I pushed the door open. Nolan grabbed my arm to stop me.

"Nova, think about what you're doing. Everything you feel towards him, he feels ten times worse; especially because he's an Alpha. The need, the jealousy, the love... everything is magnified. And in the meantime, you're playing house with Mason even though you know he will never be yours. You're never going to love Mason the way you love Elias. And eventually, Mason will find his mate, too. How do you think she's going to feel about him keeping his old girlfriend around because he still loves you and can't let you go?" Nolan asked. I felt a pang of pain at the memory of seeing Elias with Kendra.

"What are you trying to say?" I said defensively. Nolan made sense, and I hated that.

"I'm not telling you to drop everything and run back into the guy's arms; I'm just asking you to think with your heart this time. I know you can be impulsive and stubborn as hell, but I don't want you to miss out on your mate because of your own big head. Having a mate is supposed to be like clicking the missing piece into place. He'll balance you out. Make him work for it, which you already have. The man on his knees for you, just don't make him suffer. Werewolves have been known to kill themselves if they go too long without their other half. And I know for a fact that it would destroy you if Alpha Elias was dead," he explained. I didn't know what to say. The pain in my chest at the thought of Elias dead only confirmed what Nolan said. I knew he was right about practically everything, but I wasn't willing to admit that to him. I got out of the car without another word and went inside where Mason hugged me gently.

"Hey, are you okay? How did it go?" Mason asked, looking me over. I nodded and ran my fingers through my hair.

"I'm fine, just tired," I said. Nolan walked in and gave me a knowing look. He was right... I was playing house with Mason.