My Name is Not Cupcake

I woke feeling a soft touch on my cheek. I smiled gently as my eyes fluttered open. I saw Elias lying next to me and caressing me.

"Good morning, Cupcake," he said softly. I dropped my smile and averted my eyes. I never thought I would miss him saying that, but I did.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. He chuckled.

"I couldn't wait for you to wake up," he said simply. I sighed before I sat up.

"I'm awake," I said tiredly. "What are we doing?" I asked.

"Nothing," he answered. "I want to know everything about you. So today, I learn. We won't have to go anywhere," he said. I was slowly trying to process what was going on. Suddenly, I was wrapped in Elias' arms.

"What do you want to know?" I asked snuggling closer to him and giving in. His touch affected me too much to ignore.

"Favorite color," he asked.

"Blue," I said automatically. That was only the first of a series of a million questions. Some were pointless, but some were actually interesting. Elias always answered his own question for me so I knew his answer as well. The questioning went on for days, literally. It was incredibly intimate. We didn't see anyone during our intimate time. Taylor, Minnie... everyone scattered. It was just the two of us, and I secretly loved it. It was what we needed to get closer... and we were. Sure we didn't start off the best, but things were getting better.

"Chicken or beef?" he asked as he cooked.

And yes... I said cook. He was actually pretty decent. I moved around him to the refrigerator. I pulled out the grape juice and grabbed two glasses.

"Fish," I said.

"Fish? It has no substance at all. You could literally eat it for hours and never get full. Beef... all the way. Ten minutes and you're stuffed," he said. I smiled and shook my head as I placed the glasses on the table.

"Um, eternal sunshine or rain," I asked. I had been asking a few questions of my own.

"Sun... rain would get way too glum and gloomy," he answered. I shrugged and agreed. I would rather have sunshine, too. Elias kissed my cheek before he set the food down next to the drinks. Slowly, I’d been allowing him to touch me more. Although I wasn’t sure how much of it was just the fact that my willpower waivered the more I was around him. Granted, now our questions were getting a bit more pointless but it was good to know things about him that I pictured no one else knew. We ate dinner before we went back to his room. And yes, I said his room. It was my pit stop before bed these days. I sat criss cross in his bed and played with the blankets.

"How did you get in contact with Alpha Peter's son?" he asked. I looked at him confused.

"Who? Mason?" I asked. He nodded. So Peter was an Alpha too...

Just great...

"Pizza," I said suddenly, confusing Elias. "I'd just finished talking to him on the phone when Peyton walked in and ordered the pizza for our picnic," I said honestly. He hesitated as he played with my hand.

"Do you still want to leave?" he asked unsurely. I stayed quiet as I really thought about it.

Did I?

My neck tingled where Elias marked me. I tried to imagine how my life would be if I left and went back home. I would never see Elias again. That thought made me uncomfortable but I knew that it was just the mate bond. In all honesty, I had no idea what I wanted to do anymore.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. I held Elias' hand in mine and played with his fingers. I liked the feeling of warmth and protection I felt. I shook my head.

"I don't think I could leave right now. Granted, we didn't start off the best and I miss my family like crazy, I don't think I could take it if I never saw you again, ever. I don't know if it's the mate bond or Stockholm syndrome, but I don't understand my feelings for you. And when you kissed me... I never felt a kiss like that before. It was... unreal, but I didn't want to get closer to you either because you hurt me... and I don't want to get hurt again," I tried to explain. His hand pulled out of mine and went to my cheek.

"I'm not trying to hurt you," he assured me. I sighed and looked at the sheets before I prepared my next question.

"Why was it so easy for you to sleep with her when I went into heat?" I asked quietly. His movement stopped before he sighed and held my hand again. He knew exactly what I was talking about.

"Because I'd been with her before. Kendra was going to be Luna before I met you. As far as mates go, I thought I missed my opportunity to be with you. I thought you were dead. I'm 27 years old and I didn't find you until 6 months ago. That's not normal for Lycan. When you went into heat, I couldn't control myself. I wanted you so bad... but I knew I couldn't have you because you would hate me. Kendra offered... a solution, and I was too blinded by you heat to argue," he explained. I'm not going to lie... that hurt.

"How am I supposed to know that you won't do it again? I'm just going to have to hope?" I asked. I knew my face was probably turning red. He pulled my chin up and made me look at him.

"Because I learn from my mistakes, and I don't want to risk losing you again. I care about you, Novalyn. I love you," he said.

I believed him... and that's what scared me. He moved to kiss me and I turned my cheek at the last second.

"Is Kendra still... do you still talk to her?" I asked. He hesitated.

"She's in the pack, Nova. I have no choice... plus, she's a dear friend of mine. I've known her for a long time," he said. I felt irritated by the thought.

"Why?" I asked automatically.

"Nova," he sighed. I shook my head and he stopped.

"No, don't bother, Eli. I'm going to go to bed," I said defeatedly. Every time we would make stride, something brought us right back. It was tragic really because every time, I thought we were actually getting somewhere. One-step forward, two steps back.

~